All you FUQs HERE

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2004-11-18 02:32am

Lonestar wrote:
StormtrooperOfDeath wrote: Is your captain a reasonable guy?
He rammed into a navigational buoy and tried to blame the quartermasters (who were telling him if he continued with this course he'd hit a buoy), what do you think?

That needs a FUQ.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2004-11-18 11:34am

This quote by Col. Crackpot's in this thread cracked me up for some reason.

Col. Crackpot wrote:
Lusankya wrote:When I was three (or thereabouts) my parents told me that ham came from ham trees.

I've since learned the error of my thinking.
that would be the fucking shit! I'd plant it right next to my beer tree.

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2004-11-18 12:08pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:This quote by Col. Crackpot's in this thread cracked me up for some reason.

Col. Crackpot wrote:
Lusankya wrote:When I was three (or thereabouts) my parents told me that ham came from ham trees.

I've since learned the error of my thinking.
that would be the fucking shit! I'd plant it right next to my beer tree.

Yes, but you'd have to beware of the dangers of cross pollinisation and genetic mutation, those things are a breeding ground for terrorism, you never know when you're in danger of an 'ambush.

Thank you, I'm here all week.

egyptfrk · Post by **egyptfrk** » 2004-11-18 02:13pm

Col. Crackpot wrote:
phongn wrote:
Iceberg wrote:"Turkey and Hungary form a new Axis of Gobble..."
Worst pun ever.
no, this is:

Iran to Iraq because i was Hungary for Turkey.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-11-18 02:26pm

loosely quoted from aim yestarday

Foo: Why don't you unleash the angry beavers
Me: huh?
Foo: Nicolodian Cartoon, didn't you ever watch it
Me: Last Time I watched Nick, Alanis Morrisette was on a show there.

*exchange of links later*
Me: Well now you know that there was more to Morisette before she started singing out sex and catholicism.
Foo: This just proves that Nicolodian is evil and currupting.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-11-18 02:43pm

FUQ me! Twice in one day. I feel special.

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2004-11-18 03:06pm

Bob the Gunslinger wrote:Alright, here's my take on 40k surfing:

Chaos minions surf. "Surf for the surf god!"
I believe they even have a specially adapted mutation for surfing--surfing ninja turtlespawn. "Cowabunga! Anchovies for the False Emperor!"

In much of the IoM, surfing is a lost art from the Age of Dude, but some still retain its secrets.
Arbites do not surf in the conventional sense. They "Carapace Surf," which requires no board.
Somewhere there is probably an IG regiment who surfs. The Maliboo Marauders 509th.
Admech adepts surf the interweb, as well as watersurfing. They have a tendency to remove their feet to increase their connection to the board. thus eliminating the possibility of "hanging ten." Rust is a bit of a problem.

The Emperor surfed in his Aussie days (the early 1980's and again in the 19,800's).

Necrons just sink.

When the Orks find a nice ocean world, they tend to spore Beech Boyz to take advantage of the surfing.

Dark Eldar are just skaterpunks.

The kroot have been able to surf since they ate Anette Funicello.

Of course, the squats were the most enthusiastic surfers of all. Unfortunately, from overhead a squat on a surfboard looks a lot like a baby seal to a hungry Tyranid...

From here.

Darth Raptor · Post by **Darth Raptor** » 2004-11-19 11:56pm

Kuroneko (I think) wrote:He turned 19 and died.

From the "what happened to 18-till-I-die" thread.

Alan Bolte · Post by **Alan Bolte** » 2004-11-20 08:40pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:You mean give a 2nd Lieutenant a weapon, do you really think the Air Force is that crazy?

From "National Ammo Day"

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2004-11-21 05:42pm

I can't believe no one has posted this yet.

Mrs Kendall: Just tried it ! Was absolutely fun ! loved it !

Darth Wong: Are you serious?
Cpl Kendall: Yes she's serious, I was there.

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2004-11-22 07:27am

Darth Wong wrote:I love the idea of a Christian website trying to tie the Master Chief to Jesus. Just imagine the quotes:

"Blessed are the meek, for I will kick Covenant ass to protect them."

"Blessed are the peacemakers, in all of their nuclear glory. Verily, I shall smite the Covenant fuckers with them."

"Let anyone among you who is without ammo be the first to throw a stone."

"I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me. Yes you, and I will find you and rip out your colon."

Self explanatory.

The Kernel · Post by **The Kernel** » 2004-11-22 08:14am

BoredShirtless wrote:How to stop an errection from happening.....Jeeeeeesus! Just put in it for fucks sakes!

Hehehe.

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2004-11-22 08:17am

I disagree with the above nomination; If I knew that you could get into the FUQ by typing shit that's totally irrelevant to the topic at hand with bad grammar and spelling I'd have been included years ago.

Oni Koneko Damien · Post by **Oni Koneko Damien** » 2004-11-22 02:40pm

Bertie Wooster wrote:Oh Christ, next thing is they'll have classes called "Southern Sign Language for the Deaf" where you learn to adjust your belt-buckle and move your hat between words.

From the declining language use thread in HOS.

-Damien

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2004-11-22 02:47pm

From here:

Col. Crackpot wrote:cops and carjack victims don't have families in the real world.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-11-22 04:32pm

Peregrin Toker wrote:From here:

Col. Crackpot wrote: computer generated cops and carjack victims don't have families in the real world.

emphasis mine. without that part it just sounds like me being an asshole. which i sometimes am, but not this time.

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Post by **Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman** » 2004-11-22 04:58pm

From this thread:

Dalton wrote:
Troll from MSNBC wrote:this flaming seems uncalled for, but I guess it's part of the newbie hazing, carry on!
...you think this is flaming?

Ooooh boy.

Good luck...

Post by **Kuja** » 2004-11-22 05:00pm

Dude, that's ancient. Besides, it's not really all that original. I see comments like that almost weekly.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-11-22 05:36pm

Kuja wrote:Dude, that's ancient. Besides, it's not really all that original. I see comments like that almost weekly.

you know what i miss Kuja? Poking. nobody pokes n00b's anymore.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2004-11-22 06:02pm

Col. Crackpot wrote:you know what i miss Kuja? Poking. nobody pokes n00b's anymore.

As do I. Alas, it was ruled SPAM by the Supreme High Dorkus of Nofunsville, and as a result was dropped. Twas a sad, sad day, one which will live in infamy (right next to the deletion of The Mailbox, of course).

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-11-22 06:03pm

And now...more FUQing, less talking.

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2004-11-23 08:17am

By your command.

Linkage.

Eleas · Post by **Eleas** » 2004-11-23 02:21pm

Col. Crackpot wrote:
Kuja wrote:Dude, that's ancient. Besides, it's not really all that original. I see comments like that almost weekly.
you know what i miss Kuja? Poking. nobody pokes n00b's anymore.

You know, you'll be happy to know I misread that to mean something slightly different.

Col. Crackpot never, ever, wrote:you know what i miss Kuja? Porking. nobody porks n00b's anymore.

...and I was so annoyed, because let's face it, buggering a newbie never gets old.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2004-11-26 07:08pm

It's time for Out Of Context Theatre, with Nitram and Primus!

Illuminatus Primus wrote:
SirNitram wrote:You're bloody obsessed. You're a bloody zealot.
I admitted it might be necessary.

Psycho Smiley · Post by **Psycho Smiley** » 2004-11-26 07:42pm

From here:

Sea Skimmer wrote:A sufficient thickness and number of layers of Kevlar will stop an arrow from an English longbow. A sufficient thickness and number of layers of Kevlar will also stop 120mm sabot, Styx missiles and nuclear weapons.