Want to disable a Starship? Blow up the replicator

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2003-07-25 04:36pm

DS9 "Defiant"

RIKER: Report.
KALITA: We've lost main power... and the cloak is off-line.
TAMAL: It looks like two plasma conduits blew out.
RIKER: Where?
TAMAL: (off console) Deck three... section fifteen. (with meaning) Crew quarters.
Riker reacts to this information, he knows exactly what it means.
RIKER: It looks like Major Kira's been busy.
...
Riker is looking over what's left of the replicator and the bulkhead in Kira's Quarters. A large section of the bulkhead has been blown out, leaving a scorched and charred gaping hole. There are a few scorch marks in the rest of the room. Kira is sitting on the lower bunkbed, having her arm and
shoulder treated by Tamal, who is using a medical device to heal her own burns.
RIKER:(re: bulkhead) You crossed the replicator power converter with the plasma manifold, I take it?
KIRA:(wincing)That's right.
RIKER: Nice work. (turns to her) You realize we'll have this bypassed in thirty minutes.
KIRA: At least you'll be visible for thirty minutes.

You can disable main power of the Defiant for a fucking half an hour using just a replicator. What the fuck?

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-07-25 04:41pm

That's like causing a nuclear holocaust because you hot-wired a toaster on a submarine.

Xon · Post by **Xon** » 2003-07-25 04:56pm

Holy crap, I didnt think startrek could sink an lower

Ted C · Post by **Ted C** » 2003-07-25 04:58pm

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:That's like causing a nuclear holocaust because you hot-wired a toaster on a submarine.

No. It's more like shutting down the reactor and forcing the sonar to actively ping by running both a microwave and a toaster off the same outlet at once.

Kitsune · Post by **Kitsune** » 2003-07-25 06:16pm

If they would lose stealth for 30 minutes, why didn't they just drop into impulse, shut powerd down to minum, and hide in teh system of a local planetless star in dust clouds?

Pablo Sanchez · Post by **Pablo Sanchez** » 2003-07-25 07:06pm

Kitsune wrote:If they would lose stealth for 30 minutes, why didn't they just drop into impulse, shut powerd down to minum, and hide in teh system of a local planetless star in dust clouds?

...

This is the United Federation of Planets. The people who made Janeway an Admiral.

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2003-07-25 07:50pm

Actually it's the Maquis, who stole the Defiant, by getting past a guard at the airlock and using Kira to unlock the controls. Anyways:

RIKER: Fortunately, I was able to move us into a nebula. No one's going to see us.
...
TAMAL:(off console)The cloak is operating within normal parameters... but the plasma conduit damage has caused a slight neutrino leak in the port nacelle. The Cardassians might be able to detect it even through the cloak.
RIKER: A chance we'll have to take.

Connor MacLeod · Post by **Connor MacLeod** » 2003-07-25 10:12pm

This also makes living quarters something of a deathtrap, it would seem.

Pablo Sanchez · Post by **Pablo Sanchez** » 2003-07-25 10:52pm

Connor MacLeod wrote:This also makes living quarters something of a deathtrap, it would seem.

"Computer, make me a ham sandwich."

"THIS TERMINAL HAS SUFFERED A FATAL PROTECTION ERROR."

"Er... what?"

"THIS TERMINAL HAS--"

"I heard you. What does that mean."

"THIS TERMINAL WILL EXPLODE IN 13 SECONDS, RUPTURING TWO PLASMA CONDUITS AND DESTROYING THIS ENTIRE SHIP."

"That's a bit pricy for a sandwich."

Connor MacLeod · Post by **Connor MacLeod** » 2003-07-25 10:55pm

And the poor redshirts have to go hungry for fear of operating the replicators

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-07-25 11:41pm

Connor MacLeod wrote:And the poor redshirts have to go hungry for fear of operating the replicators

There still doomed the moment the words "prepare an away team" are uttered, best to die will a full stomach.

Pablo Sanchez · Post by **Pablo Sanchez** » 2003-07-26 12:53am

Sea Skimmer wrote:There still doomed the moment the words "prepare an away team" are uttered, best to die will a full stomach.

And to take those damnable higher ups down with them.

Oh, you can take an armed klingon warrior down hand-to-hand while eight months pregnant? Well, how about you try to handle a food processor designed by Starfleet?

*BOOM*

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2003-07-26 02:28am

Pablo Sanchez wrote:
Connor MacLeod wrote:This also makes living quarters something of a deathtrap, it would seem.
"Computer, make me a ham sandwich."

"THIS TERMINAL HAS SUFFERED A FATAL PROTECTION ERROR."

"Er... what?"

"THIS TERMINAL HAS--"

"I heard you. What does that mean."

"THIS TERMINAL WILL EXPLODE IN 13 SECONDS, RUPTURING TWO PLASMA CONDUITS AND DESTROYING THIS ENTIRE SHIP."

"That's a bit pricy for a sandwich."

So the replicators are running Windows?

Typhonis 1 · Post by **Typhonis 1** » 2003-07-26 02:31am

"Computer make me a ham sandwich " * tingly transporter noisy "Request completed"

"Man I told Ted to be sure to check the damn thing first before using it"

Xon · Post by **Xon** » 2003-07-26 06:32am

Darth Fanboy wrote: So the replicators are running Windows?

More like they are running Mac OS 8/9 with cooperative multitasking, or Windows 3.11 with 32bit extensions running on shoddy hardware.

The latest versions of windows(Win2k onwards) are fairly stable, they have problems but they are improving. The Win9x OS family, was generally unstable as hell.