Lord of the Morons by Master of Ossus

UF: Stories written by users, both fanfics and original.

Moderator: LadyTevar

Post Reply
User avatar
Cpt_Frank
Official SD.Net Evil Warsie Asshole
Posts: 3652
Joined: 2002-07-03 03:05am
Location: the black void
Contact:

Lord of the Morons by Master of Ossus

Post by Cpt_Frank »

Hi!
I just salvaged MoO's hilarious LotR parody from the dark ocean of a DS thread, so that it shall not be forgotten.
Master of Ossus wrote: The boards are changing.

I feel it in the keyboard.

I feel it in the posts.

I feel it on the threads.

The Lord of the Morons.

It began with the forging of the Great Rings.

Three were given to Warsies, wisest and most obnoxious of all flamers. Seven to the B5ers, great story craftsmen on Tiger’s Claw. And nine, nine rings were given the Trekkies, who above all else desire tech manuals. [Warsies, B5ers, and Trekkies pick up their rings]

And within these rings was bound the will and intelligence to lead each group. But they were, all of them, deceived; for another ring was made. In the fires of Mount Bullshit, the moron DarkStar forged, in secret, a crappy ring.

And into this ring, he poured his stupidity, circular logic, and sexual frustrations. One ring to annoy them all.

One by one, the free threads of the boards were high jacked by the power of his stupidity.

But there were some who resisted. [Lord Edam leads an army of Trekkies in a march]

[Darth Wong calls for arrows of reason, and a massive wave of hypocrisy is felled] A Last Alliance of Warsies and Trekkies marched against the stupidity of Scooter, and on the slopes of Mount Bullshit they fought for the sanity of vs. debaters. [Dalton stabs an ugly bit of circular logic] [Lord Edam slashes his way through massive waves of supidity]

[Darkling kills another wave of crap] Victory was near, but the power of the broken-record could not be undone. [Scooter appears and sends waves of rebuttals and rational debaters flying]
Image
Supermod
User avatar
Captain Cyran
Psycho Mini-lop
Posts: 7037
Joined: 2002-07-05 11:00pm
Location: College... w00t?

Post by Captain Cyran »

lol, This is a definate keeper.
Justice League, Super-Villain Carnage "Carnage Rules!" Cult of the Kitten Mew... The Black Mage with The Knife SD.Net Chronicler of the Past Bun Bun is my hero. The Official Verilonitis Vaccinator
Lord_Vader
Youngling
Posts: 60
Joined: 2002-07-28 05:06pm

Post by Lord_Vader »

That was hilarious.
"Join me and I will complete your training"
"You dont know the power of the Dark Side"
User avatar
Grand Admiral Thrawn
Ruthless Imperial Tyrant
Posts: 5755
Joined: 2002-07-03 06:11pm
Location: Canada

Post by Grand Admiral Thrawn »

Staring...


Races

Warsies as the Elves!
Fivers as the Dwarves!
Trekkies as the Men!
Non-debaters as the Hobbits!

The other guys

Ka'na'di as Morgoth!
DarkStar as Sauron!
Elim Garak as a Balrog!
Mike Wong as Elrond!
Lord Edam as Isildur!
GAT as Gandalf the Grey/White (anyone who complains can get banned :D )
Mr Bean as traitor warsie as Sauroman!
MoO as Lady of Lorien whose name I cannot spell (hehehe)
Sheppard as Gollum!

The Fellowship of the Ring

??? as Aragon (TheDarkling?)
??? as Boromir (Chris O'Farrel?)
??? as Samwise?
??? as Frodo?
anarchistbunny as Pippin!
Smi as Merry!
Starfury as Gimli!
Cpt_Frank as Legolas!
Last edited by Grand Admiral Thrawn on 2002-09-08 02:36pm, edited 1 time in total.
"You know, I was God once."
"Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died."
Bender and God, Futurama
User avatar
Captain Cyran
Psycho Mini-lop
Posts: 7037
Joined: 2002-07-05 11:00pm
Location: College... w00t?

Post by Captain Cyran »

Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:GAT as Gandalf the Grey/White (anyone who complains can get banned :D )

Must.....not....complain.....must....not....get banned....
Justice League, Super-Villain Carnage "Carnage Rules!" Cult of the Kitten Mew... The Black Mage with The Knife SD.Net Chronicler of the Past Bun Bun is my hero. The Official Verilonitis Vaccinator
User avatar
Mr Bean
Lord of Irony
Posts: 22456
Joined: 2002-07-04 08:36am

Post by Mr Bean »

I play a mean tratior :D

"A cult is a religion with no political power." -Tom Wolfe
Pardon me for sounding like a dick, but I'm playing the tiniest violin in the world right now-Dalton
User avatar
Sea Skimmer
Yankee Capitalist Air Pirate
Posts: 37390
Joined: 2002-07-03 11:49pm
Location: Passchendaele City, HAB

Post by Sea Skimmer »

It had two additiona parts


Cpt_Frank

ROFL It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Master of Ossus, apprentice of Darth Wong, took up his masters lightsaber....

SirNitram

I was there, Captain Frank. I was there the day Warsie strength failed, and we spared the Dumb Lord Guardian.
"This cult of special forces is as sensible as to form a Royal Corps of Tree Climbers and say that no soldier who does not wear its green hat with a bunch of oak leaves stuck in it should be expected to climb a tree"
— Field Marshal William Slim 1956
User avatar
Sea Skimmer
Yankee Capitalist Air Pirate
Posts: 37390
Joined: 2002-07-03 11:49pm
Location: Passchendaele City, HAB

Post by Sea Skimmer »

Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:Staring...


Races

Warsies as the Elves!
Fivers as the Dwarves!
Trekkies as the Men!
??? as the Hobbits?

The old/powerful guys

Ka'na'ti as Morgoth!
DarkStar as Sauron!
TOWNMNBS as a Balrog!
Mike Wong as Elrond!
Lord Edam as Isildur!
GAT as Gandalf the Grey/White (anyone who complains can get banned :D )
??? traitor warsie as Sauroman
MoO as Lady of Lorien whose name I cannot spell (hehehe)

The Fellowship of the Ring

??? as Aragon (TheDarkling?)
??? as Boromir (Chris O'Farrel?)
??? as Gimli? (Fiver)
??? as Samwise?
??? as Frodo?
??? as Pippin?
??? as Merry?
??? as Legolas (Warsie
The Hobbits should be something obscure, or something uber powerful like 40Kers or TA fans.
"This cult of special forces is as sensible as to form a Royal Corps of Tree Climbers and say that no soldier who does not wear its green hat with a bunch of oak leaves stuck in it should be expected to climb a tree"
— Field Marshal William Slim 1956
User avatar
Eleas
Jaina Dax
Posts: 4896
Joined: 2002-07-08 05:08am
Location: Malmö, Sweden
Contact:

Post by Eleas »

Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:Staring...
<snip>

Excuse me, but where the hell am I in all this? :o

And by the way, to compare TOWNMNBS to DarkStar is a bit... well... excessive. DarkStar means well, but he will never truly equal the Troll Of All Trolls.
Björn Paulsen

"Travelers with closed minds can tell us little except about themselves."
--Chinua Achebe
User avatar
Eleas
Jaina Dax
Posts: 4896
Joined: 2002-07-08 05:08am
Location: Malmö, Sweden
Contact:

Post by Eleas »

Sea Skimmer wrote:The Hobbits should be something obscure, or something uber powerful like 40Kers or TA fans.
Anime affectionados, perhaps...?
Björn Paulsen

"Travelers with closed minds can tell us little except about themselves."
--Chinua Achebe
User avatar
Anarchist Bunny
Foul, Cruel, and Bad-Tempered Rodent
Posts: 5458
Joined: 2002-07-12 02:08am
Contact:

Post by Anarchist Bunny »

The Hobbits should be the non-debaters, Smi as Mary or Sam and myself as Pippin, i dunno for Frodo.
//This Line Blank as of 7/15/07\\
Ornithology Subdirector: SD.net Dept. of Biological Sciences
Wiilite
Image
User avatar
Mr Bean
Lord of Irony
Posts: 22456
Joined: 2002-07-04 08:36am

Post by Mr Bean »

How about SHEP! :twisted:
He;s not doing anything, Sure the two are nothing alike but lets put B&B in charge

"A cult is a religion with no political power." -Tom Wolfe
Pardon me for sounding like a dick, but I'm playing the tiniest violin in the world right now-Dalton
User avatar
Eleas
Jaina Dax
Posts: 4896
Joined: 2002-07-08 05:08am
Location: Malmö, Sweden
Contact:

Post by Eleas »

Mr Bean wrote:How about SHEP! :twisted:
He;s not doing anything, Sure the two are nothing alike but lets put B&B in charge
Shep could be Gollum. That certainly fits.
Björn Paulsen

"Travelers with closed minds can tell us little except about themselves."
--Chinua Achebe
User avatar
Sea Skimmer
Yankee Capitalist Air Pirate
Posts: 37390
Joined: 2002-07-03 11:49pm
Location: Passchendaele City, HAB

Post by Sea Skimmer »

Sheppard would seem to fit as someone from Rohan, but he is not a Trekkie by any standard.

Edit: Gollum, yes that fits Shep quite well.
"This cult of special forces is as sensible as to form a Royal Corps of Tree Climbers and say that no soldier who does not wear its green hat with a bunch of oak leaves stuck in it should be expected to climb a tree"
— Field Marshal William Slim 1956
User avatar
Cpt_Frank
Official SD.Net Evil Warsie Asshole
Posts: 3652
Joined: 2002-07-03 03:05am
Location: the black void
Contact:

Post by Cpt_Frank »

Sea Skimmer wrote:It had two additiona parts


Cpt_Frank

ROFL It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Master of Ossus, apprentice of Darth Wong, took up his masters lightsaber....

SirNitram

I was there, Captain Frank. I was there the day Warsie strength failed, and we spared the Dumb Lord Guardian.
Hmm well yeah but quite actually since a man killed sauron it would have to be
It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Darkling, son of xxx, took up his father's lightsaber.

Starfury as Gimli
Cpt_Frank as Legolas

And how about taking WH40kers as Hobbits?
Image
Supermod
User avatar
Sea Skimmer
Yankee Capitalist Air Pirate
Posts: 37390
Joined: 2002-07-03 11:49pm
Location: Passchendaele City, HAB

Post by Sea Skimmer »

Cpt_Frank wrote:
Sea Skimmer wrote:It had two additiona parts


Cpt_Frank

ROFL It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Master of Ossus, apprentice of Darth Wong, took up his masters lightsaber....

SirNitram

I was there, Captain Frank. I was there the day Warsie strength failed, and we spared the Dumb Lord Guardian.
Hmm well yeah but quite actually since a man killed sauron it would have to be
It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Darkling, son of xxx, took up his father's lightsaber.

Starfury as Gimli
Cpt_Frank as Legolas

And how about taking WH40kers as Hobbits?
40K is a very powerful universe; perhaps the hobbits should be of a weaker one?
"This cult of special forces is as sensible as to form a Royal Corps of Tree Climbers and say that no soldier who does not wear its green hat with a bunch of oak leaves stuck in it should be expected to climb a tree"
— Field Marshal William Slim 1956
Skelron
Jedi Master
Posts: 1431
Joined: 2002-07-04 10:48pm
Location: The Web Way...

Post by Skelron »

Hay we arn't being the Hobbit's, sure they saved the Middle Earth and all, but they can't fight.
(Caution exception to this rule, all Hobbit's gain extra ordinary combat abilties, and enter a berserker rage if they think a friend has just been killed... good rule of thyumb therefore, is to knock out, but make it clear they are still alive all Hobbit's on sight, before killing anyone they are traveling with.)
Now then I say we take the Balrog, as long as it is clear that we remain neutral in the war against the Crappy Ring, and in fact may decide to come out in favour of the last alliance. (because a Crappy Lord of Evil is to be deteasted by all, even other forces of Evil)

Points in favour of the 40K side joining the alliance... Big one Ha we've got Transporters too, except ours really can transport through your shields, Unless you use Void Shields. (Your shields must be based upon Multi Dimension technolgy, where they enter a dimension made up of the 40K Warp or substance similar if they don't your shields don't count...) And we make use of said shields in boarding actions. (Terminators too the bridge)
(This is an example only, typical trek fan boy argument used as basis, look I've wanted to say it for ages, this was the best chance...)
Hehe Allay with us and Darkstar will be finished, even his illogic cannot stand up too people that can use his tactics... and still remain within the cannon of thier universe....
User avatar
Cpt_Frank
Official SD.Net Evil Warsie Asshole
Posts: 3652
Joined: 2002-07-03 03:05am
Location: the black void
Contact:

Post by Cpt_Frank »

Then who will be the hobbits?
Image
Supermod
User avatar
NecronLord
Harbinger of Doom
Harbinger of Doom
Posts: 27383
Joined: 2002-07-07 06:30am
Location: The Lost City

Post by NecronLord »

Sea Skimmer wrote: The Hobbits should be something obscure, or something uber powerful like 40Kers or TA fans.
I'll be frodo.

*Runs away with ring*

humm prehaps 40kers shouldn't be hobbits after all?
Superior Moderator - BotB - HAB [Drill Instructor]-Writer- Stardestroyer.net's resident Star-God.
"We believe in the systematic understanding of the physical world through observation and experimentation, argument and debate and most of all freedom of will." ~ Stargate: The Ark of Truth
User avatar
Typhonis 1
Rabid Monkey Scientist
Posts: 5791
Joined: 2002-07-06 12:07am
Location: deep within a secret cloning lab hidden in the brotherhood of the monkey thread

Post by Typhonis 1 »

:P I`m Tom Bombadril
Brotherhood of the Bear Monkey Clonemaster , Anti Care Bears League,
Bureaucrat and BOFH of the HAB,
Skunk Works director of the Mecha Maniacs,
Black Mage,

I AM BACK! let the SCIENCE commence!
User avatar
Kamakazie Sith
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 7555
Joined: 2002-07-03 05:00pm
Location: Salt Lake City, Utah

Post by Kamakazie Sith »

Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:Staring...


Races

Warsies as the Elves!
Fivers as the Dwarves!
Trekkies as the Men!
Non-debaters as the Hobbits!

The other guys

Ka'na'di as Morgoth!
DarkStar as Sauron!
Elim Garak as a Balrog!
Mike Wong as Elrond!
Lord Edam as Isildur!
GAT as Gandalf the Grey/White (anyone who complains can get banned :D )
Mr Bean as traitor warsie as Sauroman!
MoO as Lady of Lorien whose name I cannot spell (hehehe)
Sheppard as Gollum!

The Fellowship of the Ring

??? as Aragon (TheDarkling?)
??? as Boromir (Chris O'Farrel?)
??? as Samwise?
??? as Frodo?
anarchistbunny as Pippin!
Smi as Merry!
Starfury as Gimli!
Cpt_Frank as Legolas!
Might as well make me Theoden. (Even though he isn't in it till TTT)
User avatar
Sea Skimmer
Yankee Capitalist Air Pirate
Posts: 37390
Joined: 2002-07-03 11:49pm
Location: Passchendaele City, HAB

Post by Sea Skimmer »

NecronLord wrote:
Sea Skimmer wrote: The Hobbits should be something obscure, or something uber powerful like 40Kers or TA fans.
I'll be frodo.

*Runs away with ring*

humm prehaps 40kers shouldn't be hobbits after all?
*Hunts down NecronLord with Mi-28N, blasts with cannon, lands and picks up ring *

FOOL, I shall be Frodo. *Puts on ring to avoid counter strikes*
"This cult of special forces is as sensible as to form a Royal Corps of Tree Climbers and say that no soldier who does not wear its green hat with a bunch of oak leaves stuck in it should be expected to climb a tree"
— Field Marshal William Slim 1956
Post Reply