OBI-WAN KENOBI DEAD

[Kingmaker]

Do people really think that this is going to change anything? I heard that Kenobi spent most of his time since the Senate Building Attack hiding in a cave on Tatooine. Does that sound like a rebel mastermind to you? No. Whatever leadership role Kenobi might have had in the rebel organization, he has long since been replaced by the traitors Dodonna and Mothma. The real question is which one will become the public face of the rebellion now that they've lost their figurehead.

[PainRack]

For all you Rebel lovers out there, clearly, the Empire success at killing Obiwan was due to our enhanced order techniques. Our willingness to burn entire crowds to a crisp, mass produce interrogration droids and burn farmsteads unwilling to submit to an Imperial search gave us the vital information needed to hunt down Obiwan.

[Ahriman238]

Oh, please. Do you really think the rebels did that? The Death Star was clearly an inside job. It was a 120km across, had hundreds of meters of armor plating, and planetary grade shields, but we're susposed to believe two proton torps took it out? Fired from an Incom T-65, through a two meter exhaust port? Yeah, right, the T-65's targeting computer can't even hit a target that small. The Death Star's reactor went up in a controled detonation. To what ends, I don't know, but isn't is suspicous that one of the only survivors was the Emporer's right hand man, Darth Vader?

Listen, you punk, Vader's done right by the Empire since day one of the New Order. I cannot and will not believe that he conspired with the filthy, filthy rebels.

And I shall thank you not to use that inflammatory term. "Death Star" indeed. The Imperial Planetary Resource Extractor (IPRE) was going to usher in a new era of industry. An age when uninhabited planets could be quickly and cheaply reduced to chunks ideal for asteroid mining techniques. Only conspiracy theorists and rebel propagandists call it the "Death Star." Seriously, why would Palpatine and Vader need a terror weapon like some people call it, when they're already perfectly capable of destroying a planet via BDZ?

Twenty frekking years of research and devlopment. Do you have any idea the kind of time and money it will take to replace the IPRE?

Do people really think that this is going to change anything? I heard that Kenobi spent most of his time since the Senate Building Attack hiding in a cave on Tatooine. Does that sound like a rebel mastermind to you? No. Whatever leadership role Kenobi might have had in the rebel organization, he has long since been replaced by the traitors Dodonna and Mothma. The real question is which one will become the public face of the rebellion now that they've lost their figurehead

You have it all wrong my friend. Kenobi was the face of the Rebellion, but the real mover and shaker was that short green bastard, whats-his-name. Mothma, Bel Iblis, and Dodonna are two-bit players who can barely run their own columns. Greenie is the mastermind here, you wait and see. And I hope he's sweating now that his meatshield isn't around to draw the bullseye off him.

[Ritterin Sophia]

Look at the ring, man. In an uncontrolled demolition there would be no ring. But what did we all see that morning? A big ol' ring with the explosion.

Fuck you, man. No seriously, I hope Stormtroopers come and arrest your Forcist liberal ass and your family. I wouldn't be surprised if you're some fucking illegal alien, you know Bothans aren't allowed in the Sector 2001/11/9. My grandpa, Governor Tarkin, died on the IPRE participating in the groundbreaking on the first resource extraction project.

[Darth Tedious]

Look at the ring, man. In an uncontrolled demolition there would be no ring. But what did we all see that morning? A big ol' ring with the explosion.

Those of us who've seen the original unedited footage know that there was no such Praxis effect. You can believe whatever Rebel Scum video editing you want to...

[Darth Fanboy]

Dude did anyone get a look at the wreckage from the TIE Fighter? That was no ordinary TIE, looked like it had Shield projectors and a...Hyperspace Drive?

Now if we can just find out where Yoda is.

[keen320]

Some of these comments should answer your question about Yoda!

VoiceOfReason
Obviously it isn't the real Yoda. Yoda is public enemy number one! He may not act often but who do you think is the real mastermind behind everything? He wouldn't show his self on unsecured lines. As a side note, I heard that Obi-Wan already has his successor in place. Some kid named Cloudrunner or something like that.

@joanntwit
The admiral at the press conference was not allowed to give out the names of the two men and one wookie, and the woman used as a shield, who were all killed - but WookieLeaks confirms that the actual casualty report indicates a high degree of probability that Ubi-Wan's young apprentice "Skywalker" was among those killed. One reason for the secrecy is that there is a rumor going through the Outer Rim worlds that the apprentice may have been an unacknowledged son of Lord Vader. If true, that would explain the secrecy.

LightSaberLady
100 internets for "WookieLeaks"

AngryHolonetNerd
Young? Obi-Wan had a guy named Skywalker as an apprentice since the Clone Wars. It doesn't surprise me that they're still working together, but he'd hardly be young, unless he used some weird Jedi Force trick to stop himself aging.

Bob Fett · 4 weeks ago
The kid's name is Starkiller. My ex-girlfriend's brother's friend gave him a copy of the intelligence report.

Yoda's been dead for years too. I mean, seriously...what would he be now? 300 years old?

did or didnt i tried
more like 700 lol

[Swindle1984]

NEVER FORGET!

[Imperial528]

NEVER FORGET!

It's good that bastard Obi-wan got what he deserved.

[StarSword]

*goes out-of-character*
The giggle factor for this entire thread is off the charts.

*goes in-character*
Disrespecting the body like that is going to cause trouble. They should have followed the standard Jedi practice of cremation instead of dumping him.

And I shall thank you not to use that inflammatory term. "Death Star" indeed. The Imperial Planetary Resource Extractor (IPRE) was going to usher in a new era of industry. An age when uninhabited planets could be quickly and cheaply reduced to chunks ideal for asteroid mining techniques. Only conspiracy theorists and rebel propagandists call it the "Death Star." Seriously, why would Palpatine and Vader need a terror weapon like some people call it, when they're already perfectly capable of destroying a planet via BDZ?

Not if the planet is shielded.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Word of advice StarSword. If the last post is over a month ago, posting would probably be a necro, which is frowned upon. Might want to check that mate.

[StarSword]

My bad. In other forums I frequent, necroing a thread is loosely defined as posting on one that's past the first page. This was still on the first page of threads, so I figured it was okay.

[Eternal_Freedom]

If it's on the first page it's probably fine, but it's worth keeping an eye one my friend.

You are right though, the lols level of this thread is very high.

[Havok]

The rule on Necroing also states not adding anything new to the thread. It's a matter of opinion in most cases, but as long as you do add something of substance, it's generally OK if the topic is still on the first page. Anything past that and you should start a new thread and link the old one... not exactly sure why, but that seems to be the accepted way to do it.