Read & Weep: 1894 Christian sex manual for young brides.

Post by **Coyote** » 2002-11-25 01:28pm

The following in something that a friend of mine at the College gave me. She collects information on early American attitudes towards sex. This explains a lot and offers some insight into the socio-historical backgrounds of the people we deal with here...(Long, but entertaining in a dark and horrific way)...

The following is a reprint from The Madison Institute Newsletter, Fall Issue, 1894:

INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE
On the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and Personal Relationships of the Marriage State for the Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God
by Ruth Smythers beloved wife of The Reverend L.D. Smythers Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist Church of the Eastern Regional Conference Published in the year of our Lord 1894 Spiritual Guidance Press New York City

INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE

To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits of proper upbringing, the wedding day is, ironically, both the happiest and most terrifying day of her life. On the positive side, there is the wedding itself, in which the bride is the central attraction in a beautiful and inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provide for all her needs for the rest of her life. On the negative side, there is the wedding night, during which the bride must pay the piper, so to speak, by facing for the first time the terrible experience of sex.

At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth. Some young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage of such a bride. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten:

GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY.

Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust. On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be extreme. While sex is at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured, and has been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated for by the monogamous home and by the children produced through it.

It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prevail upon the groom to forego the sexual initiation. While the ideal husband would be one who would approach his bride only at her request and only for the purpose of begetting offspring, such nobility and unselfishness cannot be expected from the average man.

Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost every day. The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency. Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among the wife's best friends in this matter. Arguments,
nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very effective, if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.

Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. A good wife should expect to have reduced sexual contacts to once a week by the end of the first year of marriage and to once a month by the end of the fifth year of marriage.

By their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their child bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating all sexual contacts with the husband. By this time she can depend upon his love for the children and social pressures to hold the husband in the home
Just as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity of sex as low as possible, the wise bride will pay equal attention to limiting the kind and degree of sexual contacts.

Most men are by nature rather perverted, and if given half a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most revolting practices. These practices include among others performing the normal act in abnormal positions; mouthing the female body; and offering their own vile bodies to be mouthed in turn.

Nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex, viewing photographs and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are the obnoxious habits the male is likely to acquire if permitted. A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her.

Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in total darkness. Many women have found it useful to have thick cotton nightgowns for themselves and pajamas for their husbands. These should
be donned in separate rooms. They need not be removed during the sex act. Thus, a minimum of flesh is exposed.

Once the bride has donned her gown and turned off all the lights, she should lie quietly upon the bed and await her groom. When he comes groping into the room she should make no sound to guide him in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement. She should let him grope in the dark. There is always the hope that he will stumble and incur some slight injury which she can use as an excuse to deny him sexual access.

When he finds her, the wife should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion on
her part could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband.

If he attempts to kiss her on the lips she should turn her head slightly so that the kiss falls harmlessly on her cheek instead. If he attempts to kiss her hand, she should make a fist. If he lifts her gown and attempts to kiss her anyplace else she should quickly pull the gown back in place, spring from the bed, and announce that nature calls her to the toilet. This will generally dampen his desire to kiss in the forbidden territory.

If the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the wise wife will suddenly remember some trivial non-sexual question to ask him. Once he answers she should keep the conversation going, no matter how frivolous it may seem at the time. Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists on having sexual contact, he must get on with it without amorous embellishment.

The wise wife will allow him to pull the gown up no farther than the waist, and only permit him to open the front of his pajamas to thus make connection. She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while he's huffing and puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress.

As soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged to soon try for more.

One heartening factor for which the wife can be grateful is the fact that the
husband's home, school, church, and social environment have been working together all through his life to instill in him a deep sense of guilt in regards to his sexual feelings, so that he comes to the marriage couch apologetically and filled with shame, already half cowed and subdued. The wise wife seizes upon this advantage and relentlessly pursues her goal first to limit, later to annihilate completely her husband's desire for sexual expression."

Upon questions about if this really could be authentic the following comment was made:

As I've said before, I collect 19th century sex literature, most notably the
anti-sex literature that was very popular in the United States. That particular essay was very much in line with the typical treatment of the subject for the day. <SNIP>

Dave, Liberated Christians, Phoenix, Az Teaching Positive Intimacy and Women Centered Sexuality Exposing False Traditional Biblical Teachings For Free Info request from [email protected] <mailto:[email protected]> Over 1800
subscribers get our Free Internet Newsletter

Coyote sez:
"Whew! Just reading that makes my heart ache! Think of all the people that grew up following this; the effects are still being felt in many families today. This is what we are up against.

Sometime soon I will try to post some information on the Jewish views on sex and marriage, to act as an interesting counterpoint. Until then... go out and get some, and be grateful! By that lovely lady in your life some flowers and tell her how much you appreciate her-- this could have been your alternative!"

Evil Sadistic Bastard · Post by **Evil Sadistic Bastard** » 2002-11-25 01:30pm

ESB agreez: Damn straitlaced bastards! Sure am glad they're all dead and my upbringing didn't include this shit.

salm · Post by **salm** » 2002-11-25 01:38pm

wow!

poor fucks!

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2002-11-25 01:38pm

Damn! What screwed up people, I hope that a joke. But doubt it. No wonder those people were such assholes.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-11-25 01:50pm

"While sex is at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured, and has been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated for by the monogamous home and by the children produced through it."

Right.

Maybe for those fucking ugly assed idiots.

salm · Post by **salm** » 2002-11-25 01:59pm

Reverend L.D. Smythers must have had a rather boring sex life.

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2002-11-25 02:21pm

I'm SURE there are parts of the world TODAY where there are fundamentalists so cock-tight that they read this and said, "Down to once a month by the FIFTH year? These people are perverted sex machines. I had my wife twice, I have two kids, and that's the way God likes it."

jegs2 · Post by **jegs2** » 2002-11-25 02:41pm

salm wrote:Reverend L.D. Smythers must have had a rather boring sex life.

From what I read above, so it would appear...

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2002-11-25 03:34pm

Just don't let patkelly see this...

Post by **NecronLord** » 2002-11-25 03:54pm

*shudder*

Man that's evil

normally I'm against the destruction of any form of knowlege but in this case i'll make an exception

BURN IT!

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2002-11-25 03:57pm

Fuck, imagine you have a wife like this.
I guess at this time I would have spent most of my freetime at the whorehouse.

FireNexus · Post by **FireNexus** » 2002-11-25 04:25pm

You know, it's strange. I can fathom why some would have a negative view towards premarital sex. There are definite dangers, even (and in some cases, especially) during this day and age. Though I don't agree with the reasoning, it is at least logical.

This shit is simply ridiculous. Within the bounds of a faithful marriage, there is no reason for something like this to be followed. None. I'm glad this shit is done with nowadays...

tharkûn · Post by **tharkûn** » 2002-11-25 04:58pm

Sorry guys but this was NOT written by an uberconservative in 1894. Why? Because the term "sex" would not be used by an uptight pastor's wife. During the period respectable persons used terms like "conjugal relations", "knowing", etc. to refer to the sex act. I mean seriously for the time period it would be like a Jerry Falwell giving a four letter laced speech.

Likewise I don't beleive "turning off the lights" sounds too legit for 1894. General electric is a whopping TWO YEARS old at this point, so while they might have had electric lights, I strongly suspect that an uptight preachers wife would not be "turning off the lights".

Likewise there is NO mention of "Arcadian Methodist Church" on the internet that does not also mention "Ruth Symthers". Curiosly enough her publishing company follows the same pattern ... nothing mentioned in this letter shows up anywhere else on the internet I can find.

In short all I can find suggests its a joke.

I do know the Puritans, surprisingly, loved sex in marriage. Indeed if the wife wasn't getting enough she could complain to the church elders who would then instruct her husband to "better perform his marital duties".

Tosho · Post by **Tosho** » 2002-11-25 05:00pm

Dear God! I feel sorry for the women who followed this books instructions, they probably never had the enjoyment of an orgasm judging from this trash.

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2002-11-25 05:28pm

These people must've thought the moans coming from the room above were those of pain. Well....Religion does have the tendency to distort people's perceptions.

Perhaps the reverend himself was a sex fiend and to somehow come to terms with his sin has written these rules so that he may find solace in that he's fighting sex, and in this way atoning for his own sexual outings.

Also, note that the article doesn't say anything about whether men should enjoy sex or not. Only women.

How strange people can get when under complete influence of religion.

Cromag · Post by **Cromag** » 2002-11-25 05:35pm

Thought this looked familiar. Snopes agrees with Tharky, on almost the exact same points. Unfortunately, they don't go so far as to research anything on the supposed author's affiliation with the named church, I imagine they would have found pretty much the same thing as Thark, though.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2002-11-25 06:29pm

I think its fake.

data_link · Post by **data_link** » 2002-11-25 07:22pm

While this is, fortunately, a joke, shit like this is why I support a minimum $100,000 fine and 5 year jail term for "writing under the influence of religion."

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2002-11-25 10:56pm

tharkûn wrote:I do know the Puritans, surprisingly, loved sex in marriage. Indeed if the wife wasn't getting enough she could complain to the church elders who would then instruct her husband to "better perform his marital duties".

From the folks who wore multiple layers of black clothing. Go figure.

Post by **Vympel** » 2002-11-25 10:58pm

Ah religion. You gotta love it. Maybe someone can give a link to all those fucked up anti-masturbation devices they thought up back then as well.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2002-11-26 12:04am

While this may be a joke, it has a ring of authenticity to it. A lot of zany folks were publishing and teaching all manner of wierd-assed ideas concerning sex at that time. I can well imagine a "concerned" pastor's wife, frigid, possibly a lesbian, writing a pamphlet like that even today. Ever see the film The Road to Wellville? Dr. Kellog reputedely NEVER had sex with his wife, his ideas on sex and masturbation were draconian in their severity. This might seem outrageous to the group of depraved sex fiends here, but a hundred years ago, I'm sure literature like this was de rigeur. And I doubt there were a lot of people who took it serious, except maybe the authors themselves.

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2002-11-26 01:32am

Wally shit, I hope it's a joke; it sure does sound like a bitter mockery of old conservative values. Either that, or it's a 19th century argument for nihilism.

I do know one thing for sure; if I were stuck in that kind of society, I'd probably give up on people, and become one of those arsonists who burn down half the town's churches. God, I wonder just how much it would suck to not be able to think on my own like some of those people...

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2002-11-26 03:07am

Snopes says that it's Undetermined, which means that they really don't know, but that it is at least doubtable.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-11-26 06:14am

I was watching Rise and Fall of the Spartans

before the Marriage, the Bride's hair was cut short (Like a young Mans), she was given basic weapons. And Told to defend herself, so that She knew she was getting a strong husband, who could produce good warrior sons. The man then had to sneak into her house (Without waking her father or Mother), and then Defeat her in Wretling, (Without making too much noise), before he could have sex.....

Now THAT is sexually repressive.

Evil Sadistic Bastard · Post by **Evil Sadistic Bastard** » 2002-11-26 06:52am

THe Yosemite Bear wrote:I was watching Rise and Fall of the Spartans

before the Marriage, the Bride's hair was cut short (Like a young Mans), she was given basic weapons. And Told to defend herself, so that She knew she was getting a strong husband, who could produce good warrior sons. The man then had to sneak into her house (Without waking her father or Mother), and then Defeat her in Wretling, (Without making too much noise), before he could have sex.....

Now THAT is sexually repressive.

I pity the woman. Who knows what kind of vicious animal-like loving the man will force on her after that? I mean, he's had to go through so damn much just to get her, he's going to blow off some steam, right?