Trey Parker and Matt Stone Save Enterprise

[Praxis]

http://www.startrek.com/startrek/view/n ... 10349.html

04.01.2005
Enterprise Saved ... With Strings Attached

With Star Trek: Enterprise hanging by a veritable thread the last two years, a new direction for the show has recently been unveiled that is being hailed both as a triumph of corporate synergy for the Viacom-owned Paramount Pictures, and a way to keep the show on the air. If you recall news reports from last year, UPN agreed to renew Enterprise for a fourth season in exchange for substantially lowering the license fee it pays to Paramount for the show. In order to remain on the network for a fifth season, the license fee would have to be reduced even more — to a level at which, under normal circumstances, the sci-fi show would be impossible to produce.

Enter the darlings of Viacom-owned Comedy Central, Star Trek fans Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of South Park. Parker and Stone, you may recall, also made Paramount's "Team America: World Police," which ran in theaters last year and comes out on DVD in May. The movie grossed only $50 million worldwide, but it turned a profit for the studio due to its low production budget.

"The pieces fall together brilliantly," said a top Viacom spokesperson. "Matt and Trey take over Enterprise, and it's all done with marionettes! It's like Thunderbirds and Captain Scarlet all over. Gerry Anderson, watch out."

The retooled show, under the new name Team Enterprise, will still feature the voice talents of Scott Bakula, Jolene Blalock, and most of the original cast. (Those who are not invited back to voice their character parts due to budget constraints will be invited to write an episode as compensation.)

The actors are excited about the prospect of continuing the show without the hassle of costumes, makeup and 16-hour workdays. "Now I won't have to get to work super early in the morning and sit in a chair for hours and hours getting appliances glued to my face before going on set," said Linda Park. John Billingsley, who was standing nearby, interrupted and pointed out that it was in fact he, not she, who had to suffer that particular indignity. Another actor requested the producers install a high-speed internet connection and a microphone at her house so she could just phone in her performance.

Parker and Stone have already started making a shooting model of the Enterprise NX-01, thus reviving an old Star Trek tradition. "We prefer the look of physical, tangible models over CGI ships any day," Parker said. "Of course, we have no visual effects budget whatsoever, so we won't be painting out the strings. You'll get used to it. Still trying to figure out where to put the propeller."

"We're also gonna re-do the opening title sequence," Stone revealed. "Record a new theme — something bombastic, action-oriented. Y'know, something that isn't, like, totally gay."

These ambitions may put the squeeze on an already bare-bones budget. But the new Trek producers can cut corners by utilizing existing props and sets from "Team America." So don't be surprised if Captain Archer looks suspiciously like Alec Baldwin, Trip Tucker like Matt Damon, Travis Mayweather like Samuel L. Jackson, T'Pol like Janeane Garofalo, and Malcolm Reed like Susan Sarandon. But it's all in good fun and shouldn't cause any more harm to the continuity of Star Trek.

Parker and Stone are looking forward to revealing, once and for all, the identity of "Future Guy": Kim Jong-Il.

[Tommy J]

This has to be another prank.

[Nick Lancaster]

I dunno, it can't be any worse than what Berman & Braga have already done to the franchise ...

(Of course it's a prank!)

[Praxis]

In other news...

HOLLYWOOD, CA

A private plane crashed Thursday evening just outside the city limits of Hollywood. There were no survivers. Rescue workers and investigators have recovered the plane's black box and transcripts have been made available to the media.

Records show that aboard the plane were television producers Rick Berman and Brannon Braga, producers of Star Trek Enterprise, fifth show to carry the name Star Trek. They were reportedly on their way to the Paramount lot to begin preparations for the 11th Star Trek film.

Analysis of the black box has brought about some schocking alegations about the nature of the crash. The transcript transcribes general conversation on current events between the pilot, co-pilot and the producers when the pilot shifted the conversation to the subject of Star Trek. The producers declared that they were always pleased to meet a fan but the pilot objected.

The pilot then declared that the duo had no respect for their fans and had corrupted a great series that he had watched from childhood. The producers attempted to defend themselves but were met with harsh criticism in the form of obscure quotations and facts from the Star Trek shows.

Braga commented that the pilot should pay more attention to his flying. After this comment the pilot became more agitated, exclaiming that the two were not fit to give instructions on how to use a toilet let alone run a beloved television franchise.

The co-pilot joined in on the side of the producers arguing that 'season four was good, as good as Deep Space Nine's last few seasons or better.' It is unclear what happened then but it investigators believe the pilot struck the co-pilot, causing the co-pilot to inadvertantly dump the aircraft's fuel.

The rest of the recording was filled with cursing, screaming and what appeared to be Klingon, a language invented for Star Trek and spoken by the race of the same name. The Klingon has yet to be translated but reportedly has the tones and rythm of a Shakespeare quotation.

If my bad spelling hasn't tipped you off yet, April Fools.

I'm assuming the first one I posted is an AF joke, even though its on Startrek.com, just because of the "on strings" joke.

[Mlenk]

Meh, if this was real I'm pretty sure it would have been posted on the saveenterprise forums and website.

[Montcalm]

In a related news B&B will direct the next season of South Park

[mr friendly guy]

In a related news B&B will direct the next season of South Park

In which Kenny gets killed and the boys time travel in a bid to alter history and bring him back from the dead.

[Kurgan]

Brilliant!

[Silver Jedi]

In a related news B&B will direct the next season of South Park

In which Kenny gets killed and the boys time travel in a bid to alter history and bring him back from the dead.

Honestly, I could see an episode of southpark going like that. In fact, I'm surprised it hasn't come up already.

[Typhonis 1]

OH man......The Southpark kids doing there version of Enterprise........

[Kurgan]

In a related news B&B will direct the next season of South Park

In which Kenny gets killed and the boys time travel in a bid to alter history and bring him back from the dead.

Honestly, I could see an episode of southpark going like that. In fact, I'm surprised it hasn't come up already.

Yeah, they've copied and spoofed just about everything else right? And if they haven't, some fans have (see "Park Wars" fan films).