Do you read on the toilet?

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2005-03-31 03:53am

It's time to take a shit. What are you taking to keep yourself occupied?

Post by **Gandalf** » 2005-03-31 03:57am

I read whatever's there. It takes 3 days worth of visits to read the Sunday paper. Then the paper I get on Tuesday/Thursday cover me till Sunday.

So I get a few articles done at a time.

Petrosjko · Post by **Petrosjko** » 2005-03-31 04:08am

Three to five pages of whatever book I'm reading, assuming my cat doesn't pester me.

I have gone through larger chunks if I've gotten so engrossed in the book that I forgot where I was, though.

Post by **Dalton** » 2005-03-31 04:17am

Depends on how long I'm planning to hang around in there. Sometimes I'll read the paper (comics, editorial cartoon and letters section, just to see how dumb my neighbors are), sometimes a book, most of the time...er...Gameboy. Nintendo DS, to be more accurate.

Crazedwraith · Post by **Crazedwraith** » 2005-03-31 04:36am

No, I just concentrate on why I am there. I don't take long enough to need something to read.

Danny Bhoy · Post by **Danny Bhoy** » 2005-03-31 05:30am

Actually, I usually think something on the lines of "Stay on the bomb run, boys. I'm going to get them doors open if it harelips everyone on Bear Creek". Or in the words of Gold Five during the Y-Wing attack run in ANH "Stay on target..."

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2005-03-31 05:47am

I'm never in there for more than three or four minutes, not much point in taking any reading in with me - if I want to read, I've got ... the comfy chair!!! The comfy chair? And tea and biscuits at 11.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2005-03-31 07:09am

If i'm at homei always take something to read in with me.

If i'm out, say at uni, then i have to make do with playing on my phone or iPod or reading todays paper.

So i went for the average of "a few pages"

Ma Deuce · Post by **Ma Deuce** » 2005-03-31 08:31am

Nope: I focus on trying to get done as quickly as possible...

Post by **Gandalf** » 2005-03-31 08:32am

Destructionator XIII wrote:Why would you? Concentrating on the job at hand means it will be done faster, so I can get back to other stuff faster.

Sometimes taking a good dump can be a great experience, which can be enhanced by reading. Treating it like a rush job ruins that unique pleasure of life.

Archaic` · Post by **Archaic`** » 2005-03-31 09:24am

I've often ended up finishing whole novels, partially because I get too sucked into them, partially because of a freakish reading speed.

Mutant Headcrab · Post by **Mutant Headcrab** » 2005-03-31 10:18am

I find the "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader" series to be a god-send. The perfect articles for any situation you may have, whether it be a quick one or a prolonged experience...

Chmee · Post by **Chmee** » 2005-03-31 10:24am

I usually have a couple sections of the newspaper in there, and will take the current book I'm working if I remember ... you never know how long it's going to take, and I hate to rush.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2005-03-31 11:59am

I'm usually only on the toilet for a few minutes at a time, the rest of the time taken up by wiping, so I really don't have time to read on the shitter.

Robert Walper · Post by **Robert Walper** » 2005-03-31 12:07pm

Uraniun235 wrote:It's time to take a shit. What are you taking to keep yourself occupied?

Lube.

Naw, just kidding. Usually a book, if I don't grab one, I tend to grab whatever is available for reading already there, be magazine, book, shampoo instructions, etc.

Robert Walper · Post by **Robert Walper** » 2005-03-31 12:07pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:I'm usually only on the toilet for a few minutes at a time, the rest of the time taken up by wiping, so I really don't have time to read on the shitter.

And there's the risk of forgetting the paper in your hand is a book...oops.

Mlenk · Post by **Mlenk** » 2005-03-31 12:32pm

If I'm at home I'll most likely read something like Time or Newsweek.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2005-03-31 12:39pm

How can you NOT read on the toilet. Shit time is some of the best time in your day. I usually take a magazine like Entertainment Weekly and read most of it if its a nice long nasty shit - particularly and end of the day bowel dumper - or I read a few pages of a book I'm reading - Currently its alternating between the Oxford Textbook on Hellenistic Culture and Ceasar's Legion. Either one I heartily recommend.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2005-03-31 01:05pm

If a shit takes so long that you can read anything longer than the first paragraph of a news story, you might want to consider a change in diet.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2005-03-31 01:58pm

Darth Wong wrote:If a shit takes so long that you can read anything longer than the first paragraph of a news story, you might want to consider a change in diet.

A nice long shit is like spring cleaning for your asshole. You let all hang out then let your asshole breathe like a fine wine. Poor guy is cooped up most of the time and let's not even get into what happens to your poor asshole if you're gay....not that there's anything wrong with that BTW.

Sharpshooter · Post by **Sharpshooter** » 2005-03-31 02:02pm

I don't usually read anything on the bowl, though on occasion I'll grab one of my textbooks if I have homework and scratch out a few problems.

Interestingly enoug, problems don't seem as difficult when doing them on the can...

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2005-03-31 02:03pm

I read. It's an excellent few minutes to yourself, might as well entertain the brain as well.

Mayabird · Post by **Mayabird** » 2005-03-31 02:03pm

Geez, some people love sitting on their porcelein thrones, don't they?

Robert Walper · Post by **Robert Walper** » 2005-03-31 02:04pm

Darth Wong wrote:If a shit takes so long that you can read anything longer than the first paragraph of a news story, you might want to consider a change in diet.

While I agree diet is a huge factor, some people do just want to sit down and take their time. Different metabolisms I'd argue as well...

Edit: Depends on how fast you read as well.

jcow79 · Post by **jcow79** » 2005-03-31 02:07pm

Didn't we take this poll just a little while ago?

No matter. I've read volumes in the bathroom. (typically not in one sitting) It's my sanctuary.

I don't think I even own a book that hasn't seen bathroom time. Funny thing is none of my friends ever borrow books from me. Even when I insist they've "gotta read it". *shrug*

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