How did you become what you are today?

[KroLazuxy_87]

Currently a college student, I'm frequently racked with realization that I'm naive, stupid, and have no idea how I'm going to navigate through life. I know that I'm not the first or last person to feel this way, and yet it seems that about everyone ends up doing okay some way or another.

I was just wondering how everyone on SD.net managed to fall into their current vocations. Did you always aspire to be what you are today? Are you working towards your dream job? Have you settled for less because of extenuating circumstances? The possibilities go on...

I'm not asking for guidance, I'll figure this whole "life" thing out. I'd just like to hear the stories of other people. Who inspired you? Where did you turn when you felt like life was leaving you behind? Did you know ten years ago you'd be where you are now?


I'm sorry for any vagueness in the asking, but it's hard to be precise in such things.





My own emo prattle: ---> Optional reading ;P

I'm currently a Business major, hoping to specialize in Enterprise Resource Planning, I've in the past been a Mining Engineering Major and a Engineering Management major. Sliding through k-12 with little effort, I was poorly prepared for college and struggled early. My parents are both happy with their jobs and each make approx. six figure salaries. Something I realized in high school, that they are both habitual cannabis users, really threw some of my conventional assumptions out the window. I have a tendency to prattle about nonessential things no matter the conversation topic. Teachers have always liked me as a person, but were openly frustrated by my lack of motivation and "unwillingness to apply myself." It wouldn't be the first time I'd heard it if some one posted something to the tune of "Stop bitching, I had to work hard, and you've been given so much opportunity that you've squandered." While I can't fault a persons view of this, I can merely hope that see it from my perspective. My priorities are different than most people's. Something I've realized for a long time now, it's something that I can't get out of my head while trying to motivate myself to do better in school: I'd be happy changing oil with my name embroidered on the front of my shirt the rest of my life so long as I have someone to love and be loved by, a porch that I can sit on and look at the stars from at night, and a grill out back for the occasional steak dinner. As I try to figure out life, I realize that so long as I'm happy, my parents are proud, and my fiance loves me, I've reached my zen. (Much to the chagrin of my professors)

[Lagmonster]

Be honest, be healthy, be reliable, and be smart.

Nobody has a clue what you're going to do with your life, assuming chance doesn't kick your ass with disease or disaster. Start with trying to master the basics, because so many people fuck them up in the first place.

[Aaron]

Currently a college student, I'm frequently racked with realization that I'm naive, stupid, and have no idea how I'm going to navigate through life. I know that I'm not the first or last person to feel this way, and yet it seems that about everyone ends up doing okay some way or another.

I was just wondering how everyone on SD.net managed to fall into their current vocations. Did you always aspire to be what you are today? Are you working towards your dream job? Have you settled for less because of extenuating circumstances? The possibilities go on...

I'm not asking for guidance, I'll figure this whole "life" thing out. I'd just like to hear the stories of other people. Who inspired you? Where did you turn when you felt like life was leaving you behind? Did you know ten years ago you'd be where you are now?

I'm 31 and I'm retired. I joined the military at 19, something I wanted to do since I was 6. My father, his father, my grandfather, great-grandfather and his brothers were all soldiers. Unfortunately I got injured and had to muster out, so I did eventually settle for "less". The funny thing is that I'm far happier retired then I ever was in the Army. I get to indulge my hobbies and raise my kids without frequent absences.

So, no ten years ago I would have assumed that I'd still be in the military. Life is never what you plan or expect but sometimes it works out for the better.

[Knife]

I had no idea what I was going to be. Being a nurse is a funky mid life crisis, I suppose. But as mid life crisis goes, I don't think it's a bad one.

[aerius]

I got to where I am by default and apathy, plus a bit of luck. I'm a unionized government worker, it started as one of my part-time summer jobs and I kept some contacts from that, and after I had enough of contract work in the electronics manufacturing industry I went back to government work for the job security and benefits. Since then I've become a lazy bastard so I'm still in government work.

Going back a bit further, I went into Computer Science in university since my math sucked too much for me to get into engineering. Computers was about the only thing which I could do well without working myself into burnout, I had just enough interest and knowledge to pass my courses and pick up my piece of paper, though I admit I ran out of motivation near the end and coasted to a finish with a string of bare passes. I graduated just in time for the dot-com bust which leads to the above.

I likely could've gone a lot further and done a lot more, but I'm lazy & unmotivated when it comes to things I'm not interested in, and work & education fit that for me. I recognize the importance of education, but formal education doesn't get along with me too well so I don't perform up to my potential. Same thing with work, it's work, work ain't my life and I can't care about it enough to put 100% of myself into it so again I didn't do all I could. But whatever, I'm happier this way, government work and my days of working in a bicycle shop were the best days in my life.

So no, I never had a plan to get to where I am, I just kinda stumbled along and got here somehow, and since I'm happy I'm staying, figuratively speaking. It's not what I planned on but I like it so it's good. Put in my 30 years, collect my nice fat pension at the end, yup, life is good. Assuming I don't go postal on my co-workers in the meantime.

10 years ago I had no idea I'd be doing this, I figured I'd be working in a large tech company or something like that. Nope didn't happen. I did do contract work for such companies and that was it.


Edit: Oh yeah, and women. I went out of town for university for the specific purpose of getting to know and sleep with as many women as possible. I think that messed with my academic studies a bit and turned me into a complete man-slut. But it was worth it, cause it made me a much more sociable person.

[Starglider]

Who inspired you? Where did you turn when you felt like life was leaving you behind? Did you know ten years ago you'd be where you are now?

Let's see. I had a near-idyllic childhood. I was endlessly fascinated with computers from the very first time I saw one, at age 5 or so. I went to one of the UK's few remaining grammar schools, where everyone was pretty bright and the teachers were highly motivated. I then went to a good university, although not Oxford/Cambridge.

Since about age 8 I wanted to write computer games. I did a BSc in Computer Science planning to head into that industry. The second biggest single event in my life was winning a 'business plan competition' in early 2001. The university provided some seed funding that allowed me to start a games company start-up (making a product kind of like Second Life, but better) straight out of university.

The most influential single event in my life was happening to read this document*, in mid-2003. That started a process that completely restructured my view of life, in the space of about a week. That was when I decided to dedicate my life to general AI (doing whatever I could to help create it), which has dominated most of my decisions since.

[Alferd Packer]

Honestly, when I was in college and high school, I couldn't think more than a few months ahead of the present. I never worried about what I would be doing after school, because it would be one of two things: go back to school, or get a job. As it turned out, I had the opportunity to go back for a graduate program, but instead, I got a job, and now that I've been out of school and working for four years, I'm never going back(to school, that is). I wouldn't call it settling, because I make a fine living and I almost like my job (I can tolerate it, anyway). Additionally, I didn't aspire to it, because as a student, I had no idea what to expect from work, except for earning money.

As for my dream job, I don't imagine that there are many managerial positions open in chocolate factories staffed entirely by big-titted hookers, so I'll just have to be more pragmatic.

[Coyote]

I find that I typically have a sort of cycle to events in my life. I was getting out of High School and had nothing but routine McJob or College bullshit to look forward to, so I rolled the dice on something way out of my norms and joined the Army, letting them take me wherever I was needed.

That led me to new experiences I had not previous forseen, and again I had the chance to continue the new routine I had set into (re-enlisting) or rolling the dice on something new. I rolled the dice and ended up in California learning a lot about such things as having no security about my future while juggling being a cartoonist.

Eventually I got into a routine with that and noticed that the pendulum would continue to swing in a predictable (and precarious) equilibrium if I stayed there, so with few other options I took what I thought was a step back and returned home to quiet, bucolic Boise, Idaho. Except this time I hadn't fully realized that I was returning as an adult with some life lessons learned, so I was better able to take control of my fate there, and it turned out to be a good time for me.

But, again, it got predictable and I felt stagnation creeping in, so I went for higher education and there met a challenging new world that allowed me to build on previous lessons learned. I took an overseas history trip that introduced me to Israel, and I liked it so much I made arrangements to return and ended up staying there for four years. But again, I was able to see a predicatable course lay out that I wasn't sure I wanted to settle into and came back to the USA. Life yanked me to Iraq for a year, and whan I returned I had no energy or motivation left. I had a 'lost year' in which I became very introverted and despite trying to shake up my life I couldn't commit to anything.

Eventually things settled, again into a predicatable and stable pattern, and I am at my most prosperous time ever in my life right now. But I am feeling the need to shake things up again, because every time I have do so in the past it has led to fantastic new growth and development, as well as understanding. Getting back into my art has been a recurring, nagging theme for me, and I think I'll have to explore that with a wider audience than my previous, limited scope.

I'm glad I am where I am and I'm glad of who I am because I have learned so amazingly much about myself, the world, and people in general. On one hand sometimes I feel I know more than people around me; but at the same time I realize how little I've truly come to comprehend. Despite the pain and suffering sometimes (actual hunger, brief bouts of homelessness, deep emotional losses) it's led me "here", and "here" is a good place for me. So I couldnt have "here" without "there", so I embrace it all, even the mistakes.

Read Halo Jones. And bear in mind-- "Anybody could have done it."

[dragon]

Grew up not knowing I had ADHD , did college poorly but finished non the less, joined the military got messed up physically and mentally. Got medical chaptered out and because of my medical problems can't keep a job and so live off disability.

[Alyrium Denryle]

I knew I wanted to be a biologist since before I could make a good show of climbing stairs (started talking at 9 months, didnt walk for a year and a half... so the cognitive functions were precocious, physical not so much), ever since my father took me to a snow melt pond in central Alaska where I grew up and I saw wood frogs breeding. As I watched my first egg mass of tadpoles metamorphose in a jar, I fell in love with The Nature. What sort of biologist shifted from marine biologist, to paleobiologist, but finally solidified on herpetology (ah the childhood infulences of those frogs) when I was 8. Went through an ugly divorce at the age of 10, combined with moving, being hatecrimed every day for being gay etc, this left me screwed up for a while (I was getting... better when I joined the board in '02).

Went through high school taking as much science as I could, getting interested in politics and philosophy as well. Got my first job kn Feb of my 17th year of life. I bagged groceries, and later was promoted to the Deli. I think this made me a libertarian when I decided to rebel intellectually from my prior left-wing inclinations (I am better now). I just hated everyone... (being a deli clerk will do that to you). I eventually got into a research lab dealing with social insect behavior and genetic regulation of diapause, got on a first name basis with Bert Holdobbler, and DS Wilson, among others. My research interests solidified from amphibian-pathogen interactions to turtle foraging strategies and then finally to predator prey interactions and cost of reproduction. I finally got through university, graduating just short of honors (that year as a deli clerk my first year of university I never recovered from, brought my GPA from 2.7 to 3.32 in a hard science the last three years... gods I wish I had done better my first year).

I got into a good Ph.D program (for herpetologists anyway) studying the evolution of anti-predator strategies and predator recognition and differentiation in tadpoles. Life is good.

[Chardok]

Currently a college student, I'm frequently racked with realization that I'm naive, stupid, and have no idea how I'm going to navigate through life. I'm sorry for any vagueness in the asking, but it's hard to be precise in such things.

Wait until you have a kid and realize that your parents were just as stupid and clueless as you are. That is a frightening day - Also, realizing you're naive, stupid and having no idea how to navigate through life does not go away. I constantly look backwards a few years and say "God, what a dumbnut I was."

PS - I'm 31.

[FSTargetDrone]

34 years old... In college I studied English and Literature and did well in those subjects, but was stymied by higher math and barely graduated because of that. After graduation, I moved around a lot and worked various jobs but none held my interest. A few years after getting my first computer, I started proofreading stories and articles one of my writer friends would send to me for feedback. I did more and more of that for more people. My sister was (and is) friends with a woman who owns and runs a public relations company in Philadelphia. She and my sister got to talking about how the friend needed a editor and proofer for various jobs that her company was hired to do (building websites, putting together pamphlets and other advertising). My sister told her friend about me ad the friend asked me through my sister if I would be interested in freelance work. We met for lunch one day to discuss things and so she could see some of my work. She (the friend) hired me by the time we had finished and I've been doing that sort of work for her and for some of her various contacts ever since. I really enjoy what I do, it allows me to work from home for the most part and I make my own hours.

[Ziggy Stardust]

I am less than one year out of college, and am already on a completely different track than I expected. I started off college a Biology major, then picked up an interest in journalism, got a job at a newspaper ... and somehow I ended up at the Rhode Island Department of Health. I am certainly enjoying it, but I am already started off going in an entirely new direction than what I envisioned only a year ago.

So ... don't worry about it.

[phongn]

Glided through high school a bit too easily - and thought I was doing well since I was in a sci-tech magnet. Got into an excellent engineering program and screwed up badly for lack of discipline: to be blunt, I was a lazy SOB. Returned home, floundered a bit trying to figure out what I wanted to do (biology major at first), then switched into computer science and found I did quite well. Got an internship, was doing pretty well, decided to go to grad school (at the same place) doing automated analysis of cancer imagery. Decided grad school was not for me after floundering around there wondering WTF to do and thoroughly not enjoying the experience. Tried to leave academia/research and return to the real world ... and promptly got a job in the ivory tower. I enjoy it.

It sometimes takes a little while to figure out what you're doing: that's fine. And, well, not a few of us have sort of lazed about through life and perhaps paid the price at times for it. I certainly have.

That said, it looks like you want a comfortable life, a nice family and a home of your own. You've got to be earning some cash in order to do it. Working hard to that goal - blue-collar, white-collar, whatever - will make it a lot easier to attain than sort of sliding by easy.

[ArmorPierce]

Between receiving little encouragement at home and constantly moving which led to depression, I didn't do that well in school for the most part. I was always a bright kid, constantly scored in the 90-something percentile on standardized tests even though I never studied for anything or did any of the work which is the only reason why I was able to drag myself from grade to grade. First year of college did pretty bad, but each year I improved and my last 50 credits I got straight As.

Got especially tough for the last semester where I was taking 7 classes (21 credits) working 25 hours, 20 at help desk at the school and 5 as tutor, and I had horrible skin mites all over my body including my balls that caused me to constantly itch all over until I scratched the skin off. It was so bad that a lot of times I couldn't concentrate on tests or I couldn't study in the library because of the need to scratch everywhere. I went to 2 doctors, one diagnosed as allergies and told me to go to a dermatologist, other one thought the bumps where some kind of bacterial infection. I didn't go to the dermatologist because I had insurance through the school and some girl that I talked to had to pay out of pocket when she went to a dermatologist for her skin problems. I did my own research on the internet and concluded that it was skin mites but didn't go still because I didn't want to pay. Finally I went to one of the doctors I had previously gone to and told him what I thought it was and he agreed. I got the medicine which cured it. Worse 6 months of my life but I managed to get all As in my class. I managed to graduate with a decent but not great gpa.

I'm finishing up some summer classes now and will graduate with double major in Accounting and Finance. Planning to get CPA and maybe masters in something if I can find a job that covers at least some of the costs. I have been interested in Accounting and Finance since I was about 12 when my father tried investing his money in the stock market and just continuously lost it.

Given my life I could have easily turn out rotten had I gotten into the wrong crowd. The fact that I was constantly moving amongst other things prevented that.

[weemadando]

Wasn't fantastically motivated at school in my later years there. Didn't go brilliantly at university for similar reasons. Worked a couple of shitty jobs then just got settled into doing a not as shitty job with decent pay and short hours because it's the best I'm going to be able to do and it gives me the time and money to pursue a life outside of work.

[Dahak]

I always wanted to study, knowing that non-brainy work was not made for me (or I for it... Mum still gets scared when I touch screwdrivers and such).
After school, I studied two semesters of chemistry but I didn't like the faculty and the outlook of about 5 years of studying plus having to get a doctorate (without one, you can kiss job chances in chemisty almost good bye in Germany), I changed to software engineering.
I actually managed to live through it and graduated with a "Diplom" (equivalent to a M Sc., though thanks to Bologna, it's a dying degree).
Then bad things happened... I had thought for going into development and/or research, but due to fate/luck/whatever, I got sucked into IT consulting, and after four years, I am still in it, though it gets increasingly difficult to break out of it.

[Prannon]

Well, I grew up in a fairly stable and religious family, and I was the last one born so my parents had some experience with kids enough to at least know how to give me the "quiet" childhood that most people talk about. I grew up very naive though (and I still am in many ways), and we constantly moved around all over the world until I was in 5th grade, so I didn't get used to keeping friends for long periods of time. There was also a latent desire to "shake things up" as Coyote put it. At the same time, I was very outgoing and kind of a domineering personality as a young child, so that turned many potential friends away from me and I ended up becoming an introvert after several failed friendships and bullies.

Lived in Houston from 5th through 12th grade, succeeded at every academic thing I touched (mostly because my parents never accepted anything less than a B), learned art, kept it as a pastime hobby, and played the piano. Got inspired by George W. Bush (of all people) to learn politics and government, and made that my passion through college. Learned that conservatism isn't all that it's made out to be, and got a passion for International Politics.

As college wound down, I grew desperate to get away from Texas and out of the US. I'd been living there for almost 11 years, the longest I've lived anywhere, and I was sick and tired of it. Towards graduation I started investigating international vocations, tried applying for the Peace Corps and got rejected for having a Liberal Arts degree. Then in an attempt to do something political, I tried applying to Asst. Master-at-Arms for the Texas State Capitol and got rejected there (probably for lack of experience and because my resume formatting sucked). Then after my friend told me about getting a job in Korea, I went ahead and applied for that on a whim and got a call in 15 minutes, followed up, got the job, and off I went in two months time. And right now I'm figuring out how to live on my own, work professionally, and I'm thinking about what I'm going to do when I'm done in Korea. Personally, I'd like to get a Masters in European Studies from the University of Vienna, perfect my German, and then get a job in the US State Department, but that's a long term plan and things may change.

Truth be told, if you had asked me even during my Junior year in college what I was going to be doing after I graduated, I would've shrugged and said "I dunno." Opportunities tend to come up when you least expect them to, and it's not necessary to plan everything years in advance. Plans like that tend not to hold up anyway, either because you lose interest or the situation changes or some other factor. It's also true that if you take time to look, or if you ask people for suggestions based on your own personal desires, you'll find things.

Ultimately, if you're worried about how you're going to navigate through life, such as finding a job, figuring out where you wanna live, how you're gonna pay for it all, and all that stuff, the best thing you can possibly do is ask others who've been there and done that. Basically what you're doing right now. No one ever said that you had to figure life out on your own.

[PhilosopherOfSorts]

I had a not stellar but not unusally bad childhood. Mom was strung out on something for a long time, dad lived several hundred miles away, so I saw him maybe once a year, and my stepfather was a first-rate douche-nozzle who didn't do any drugs but made up for it with heavy drinking. Nobody was physically violent, but from about age eight I was told frequently and in no uncertain terms that I was a worthless piece of shit and that I would always be a worthless piece of shit. This lead to a self-confidence problem that, at age 29 I'm still working to correct.

I mainly cruised through school though I struggled in some subjects (math classes, mostly) that I lacked interest in. I never really thought much about the future, becoming more and more depressed. By the end of my junior year in high school I was nearly suicidal and ready to something stupid, this is when I started smoking pot.

I graduated high school and was accepted to the Art Institute of Pittsburgh, majoring in industrial design technology, which is the first of two things in my life that I truely regret. I wasn't cut out for art school, dropped out within six months, and came back home to Waynesburg.

I worked several shit jobs, found myself living in a van for a while, did a bunch of drugs and generally made a long series of bad decisions culminating in a pair of felony convictions at the age of twenty-two.

It was the felonies that made me grow up, realize that couldn't just keep partying for the rest of my life. Since then I've been...existing, I no longer have much of a life outside of work, which basicly pays for half of a house trailer and an internet connection. My hopes and dreams have dwindled to "be able to sleep inside," and "stay out of jail."

I'd like to go back to school one day, maybe become a teacher, but I know that's not likely to ever happen.


So basicly yeah, I got to where I am today by surviving bad decisions and stupid mistakes.

[Gandalf]

A combination of being "gifted," combined with laziness and apathy have really made me what I am today.

[His Divine Shadow]

Grew up rurally, had a pretty great and independent childhood, lived in a small small village with 12 houses, our neighbors where mostly relatives who had kids my age. My grandparents on my fathers side lived 150 meters down the road and they where genuine old style farmers with horses, cows, sheep, pigs and chickens, they lived on selling the occasional beef, but producing milk was the min source of income, the chickens they had for producing eggs for their own use. They only had periodically a pig or two or a couple of sheep, which they raised in order to slaughter.

I was raised by my grandparents a lot of the time before I started going to school, since my parents where busy with working in their greenhouses (although I would help out there too), I spent lots of time with my grandfather in his job, stuff like taking the cows out for grazing. We where and still are pretty self sufficient, growing our own potatoes, carrots and such at home. While my grandparents still worked the extended family would help out during late summer to harvest hay for the winter and such and finish it off by having dinner out in the field. I also used to go with my parents into the forests during summer to pick blueberries, cloudberries and lingonberries to make jam out of, something we still do today. I think I had a very lucky and idyllic rural childhood.

I always liked to read, I wanted to be able to read as soon as possible so my parents did not have to read to me, I remember I didn't like being dependant on others for it, mostly I wanted to read Donald Duck stories. I was first in my class in reading comprehension in first grade. Science and biology fascinated me from the start, thanks to science fiction movies. I gobbled up all the stuff I could read and watched educational shows, I don't think a lot of kids watched "Vetenskapens Värld". I still got a big library at my parents containing books with nanes like "how does it work?", "Weather, how does it work", "Geology, how does it work", "The human body, how does it work" and so forth. Also I got over a hundred donald duck pocket books and thousands of donald duck magazines in storage somewhere. So I was a pretty bookish child once I learned to read.

Around 7-8 I got my first computer and that pretty much cemented me on the path of computers. Unfortunately in high school I got lazy and unmotivated and that did do me a lot of academical harm. My HS years is the one area I wish could rectify.

But I suppose I ended up okay for all that anyway, I got to work with computers today and I have had a steady job for 9 years now doing all kinds of stuff, programming(unfortunately only very basic stuff), administration, design and prepress work.

[Zac Naloen]

Grew up in a fairly typical middle class British suburb.

Parents weren't fantastically well off but were financially diligent so we never struggled with money and lived comfortably, had everything I needed.

From a young age I showed technical aptitude such that one of my now passed away relatives commented that I'd be an engineer when I grew up (this was age three after i'd dismantled his wheel chair). Unfortunately I'm not much of a academic so I'm more of a technician.

I cruised through school, passed all my exams with slightly above average grades putting no real effort into it (I was and still am a generally unambitious person). Went to university to study computer networking/electronics (more theory annoyingly), procrastinated a lot but got by and at the end of the first made the most difficult decision I had ever made, despite passing my exams I came to the conclusion academia really wasn't for me, left, got a job in a small company as a low level IT technician worked my way through that job until I reached a point where I had learnt everything I could from that role (About two years). Now I'm working as an IT Technician for a Global IT Services company at the middle level of the pyramid with plenty of career prospect.

In hindsight, I should have done a one or two year practical college course rather than going to university, but I was at a "good" school were the pressures were basically put on me that it was university or poverty.

In even more hindsight, I'd be unemployed with huge debts and living with my parents getting depressed right now (Like most of my friends) instead of settled down with my gf and financially secure with no debts as I would have graduated right in the middle of a dead job market with no experience.

If it proves necessary I'll go back to university part time as an adult, right now though with my girlfriend being a teacher and with very good prospects in my career with my qualifications as they are that expense seems right now that it will not be necessary for me to live a comfortable, happy, life.

[Rahvin]

Grew up in a very religious family (but not overtly fundamentalist - YEC was strongly implied but never discussed, no speaking in tongues, no "Jesus Camp," just "we believe the Bible" with no discussion on how that differed from science; churches were Presbyterian\Congregational\Christian Reformed). Cruised through High School getting decent grades in upper-level courses while expending minimal effort.

Graduated HS in '99, went on to the University of Connecticut to start studying for a Computer Science and Engineering degree.

Took advantage of my newfound freedom from my overly restrictive parents to my detriment. Skipped classes to the point where I flunked out after only a single semester.

Moved back in with my parents (after nearly getting kicked out of the house for my monumental scholastic failure), got a job selling computers. Moved with the parents to the South. Met a girlfriend online, and moved across the country to California to be with her.

That was monumentally bad decision number 2.

The woman was 12 years older than me, with kids who were closer to my age than she was (I had just turned 20). Married her within a few more months, began divorce proceedings not long after. Switched from selling computers to repairing them, and then got laid off. Had to live with my soon-to-be ex-wife for an extended period due to lack of funds, but used the near-rock-bottom fall as a reason to go back to school. Attended a tech school and got an Associates degree in Information Technology. Found a job halfway through school working for an engineering firm.

During that first real IT job, I did a search for Star Wars and found this site. Mike's page made me for the first time critically examine the religious beliefs I had held since childhood. I began taking the Bible less and less literally, began debating against creationists to hone my logic and critical thinking skills, and eventually gave up my faith completely upon realizing that the only reasons I had to believe in God at all (since I didn't take the Bible as even inspired any longer) was wishful thinking and tradition passed on by my parents. So, you know, thanks for that Mike.

Over the next several years I pieced together what is now a relatively comfortable and happy life. I had some brief trouble with the economic downturn (I worked for a heating/AC company when the housing crunch started, causing pay reductions, forced unpaid weeks off, and the constant threat of layoffs), but escaped that poorly-run hellhole about a year ago. I now work in downtown Sacramento 5 minutes from home, live in a very respectable apartment with ample space for myself and my girlfriend, and the only debt I have are student loans and my car (partially due to the fact that I fucked up my credit when I lost my job while trying to make ends meet - a blessing in disguise, because I was forced to live on basically cash-only, and have not accumulated any credit card debt like most of my peers).

[Jack Bauer]

This thread I like.

It seems I enter into some variation of this conversation with many people I meet in real life.

I was born and raised as a Jehovah's Witness. Those JWs that knock on your door on Saturday morning? I used to do that, starting when I was 7 or 8. Every week without fail. With my little clip-on tie and bookbag. The whole she-bang.

I internalized a lot of the religion. I truly believed. I was already giving sermons and participating in church meetings since I was about 9. I was considered a rising star bound to enter the full-time ministry. I eventually got baptized at around age 14.

The problem with true belief, especially with JWs, is that you're constantly wracked with guilt. Guilt over wanting to hang out with school friends (we weren't allowed to have close "worldly" friends). Guilt over wanting to celebrate holidays or birthdays (I always had to excuse myself from class, whenever there was a Christmas party). Guilt over having normal adolescent hormones (I would feel absolutely miserable for masturbating or looking at porn). Guilt over being attracted to the opposite sex (we also couldn't date outside of the religion, let alone premarital sex).

As with many things, the reason I left the religion was because of a girl. Long story short, I wanted to date this girl in high school. I eventually rebelled and stopped going to church in order to do so. By the time I graduated high school. I had chafed for far too long in the religion. I vowed to move away for college (the first in my family to do so).

While in college, I eventually developed the intellectual underpinnings to my continued opposition to the Jehovah's Witnesses. It was no longer fueled by hormones or a desire to rebel. I embraced the rationality and free thought of atheism. I haven't looked back since.

Leaving the JWs wasn't just leaving any religion. It was leaving behind an entire way of thinking, an entire way of life. Sometimes people are shocked to know that I used to be a JW. They say you're too "well-adjusted" or too "normal". I agree; thinking back on what I used to be, I shudder.

Leaving the Jehovah's Witnesses will probably be the best decision of my life.

[Rahvin]

Leaving the JWs wasn't just leaving any religion. It was leaving behind an entire way of thinking, an entire way of life. Sometimes people are shocked to know that I used to be a JW. They say you're too "well-adjusted" or too "normal". I agree; thinking back on what I used to be, I shudder.

Leaving the Jehovah's Witnesses will probably be the best decision of my life.

I feel the same way about my deconversion. But it's not just a different way of thinking. You may have it just as bad with the JW practice of shunning ex-members, but I have to keep my atheism a secret from my family, or they will disown me. It's not difficult considering I live 3000 miles away from them, but leaving religion usually means leaving your entire social and familial group as well.

I think the major reason I was able to do so was because I moved. I basically left my family and social groups behind first, and that made giving up my religion much easier since I no longer had to deal with nearly as much social pressure, or other people validating my delusional beliefs.