Yo, I got scorpions.

[ANGELUS]

Then prepare for the PETA scorpion rights division's invasion! They are the ones that sell those stupid nets for sleeping that you wear over you head to prevent the possibility of swallowing a bug while sleeping.

Didn't they once send Obama a "Fly trap" after he killed a fly during an interview? The trap was for catching them and then release them safely outside...

[Isolder74]

Then prepare for the PETA scorpion rights division's invasion! They are the ones that sell those stupid nets for sleeping that you wear over you head to prevent the possibility of swallowing a bug while sleeping.

Didn't they once send Obama a "Fly trap" after he killed a fly during an interview? The trap was for catching them and then release them safely outside...

They did. You are remembering the tissy fit correctally.

[Ritterin Sophia]

Get a BIGGER scorpion to fight the rest to the death?

Travel to the land of the Scorpion King, and there doth challenge him?

Why not do both? First you must find a way to escape your besieged citadel, DIY greek fire weapons have been suggested and they are indeed my preferred method, fight your way out! Travel to the 'Ye Olde Pet Shoppe' there you shalt hire a brave warrior to enslave the Emperor Scorpion into your services. From here you must return to your slowly falling fortress with their Emperor in tow. Once you have reached your castle you shalt force the Emperor to do battle with his subjects and kill them all!


Look at him cower within your grasp! Surely none of his people would dare try to infiltrate your keep after this!

PS: If you play D&D you could use them against your group. Suddenly, MONSTROUS SCORPIONS! MONSTROUS SCORPIONS EVERYWHERE!

[Korto]

What is it with you North Americans and critters? I know a Canadian who's over here, and he was going on about huntsman spiders in his house Look, if it can't kill you, then it's not poisonous, it's just a sting.
We only have two poisonous spiders in Australia, and the redback only just qualifies. One or two snakes, though.

And aligators are pussies. Salties are where it's at.

[Raptor 597]

If you keep doing this long enough you'll end up with, say, a single alligator which can be easily removed.

That really depends on how big and how mean said alligator is.

Yeah, unless Chardok is a gun owner I would not disturb one.



Just taking a stroll.....




SNACKTIME.

Gator removal is not a problem, I know this guy who will CHOOT 'EM for Chardok:

[Thanas]

I hope that guy gets eaten.

[Todeswind]

We only have two poisonous spiders in Australia, and the redback only just qualifies. One or two snakes, though.

Are you shitting me? Not only do you have "some" poisonous spiders in Australia you have the highest concentration of poisonous animals in the world not the least of which are eight of the ten most deadly spiders in the world. A list of fauna from Australia reads like the "who's who" of interesting ways to die, not the least embarrassing of which is platypus venom.

http://www.avru.org/compendium/biogs/A000152b.htm

[Korto]

To correct your mental typo, that's

eight of the ten most deadly snakes in the world.

Yeah, like I said, we've got one or two snakes. OK, maybe more than one or two. Found a taipan in my spare room once. Just a baby. Picked it up with thick winter motorcycle gauntlets, because I'm not an idiot.

[General Zod]

We only have two poisonous spiders in Australia, and the redback only just qualifies. One or two snakes, though.

Are you shitting me? Not only do you have "some" poisonous spiders in Australia you have the highest concentration of poisonous animals in the world not the least of which are eight of the ten most deadly spiders in the world. A list of fauna from Australia reads like the "who's who" of interesting ways to die, not the least embarrassing of which is platypus venom.

http://www.avru.org/compendium/biogs/A000152b.htm

Considering that list shows "bees" I'm inclined to take your analysis with a very large grain of salt. Most of those critters exist elsewhere in the world.

[J]

Are you shitting me? Not only do you have "some" poisonous spiders in Australia you have the highest concentration of poisonous animals in the world not the least of which are eight of the ten most deadly spiders in the world. A list of fauna from Australia reads like the "who's who" of interesting ways to die, not the least embarrassing of which is platypus venom.

In Australia, it only counts as poisonous if it kills you dead on the spot and there's no known antidote or treatment. That's what I heard from one of my Australian acquaintances after many rounds of drinks so I'm convinced it must be true.

[Todeswind]

Considering that list shows "bees" I'm inclined to take your analysis with a very large grain of salt. Most of those critters exist elsewhere in the world.

It's the "Eight out of ten most deadly snakes in the world" thing that I linked that for.

[Death from the Sea]

Get large spiders (tarantulas), more cats and/or chicken.

Do not get them together.



Or, just call an exterminator.

actually the chicken idea is a good one.

linky

[Davey]

Two words: Boric Acid.

Buy a couple squeeze bottles of that and make lines around your stuff, just as if you were creating lines of sand. Boric acid effectively creates a 'do not cross' line for those things, because it destroys the chitin of their exoskeletons, but is safe enough to use around your dishes provided you don't take it internally. It irritates the crap out of them and once they go across it once they won't do it again, or they'll die. Pack it into the holes in the wall, around your skirting boards, and in the corners of your cupboards, and put it in dark, dusty places where bugs like to hide. Reapply it as you need to.

That ought to do it!

[Alyrium Denryle]

Well CHardok, let me ask you something:

Are you driven nuts by the sound of crickets at night? Because that is what will happen if you kill off the scorpions. They MIGHT sting you, but the sting wont be any worse than a bee sting with anything you have in the area. So, unless you are allergic, just leave the scorpions the fuck alone. Spraying with chemicals (Like Malathion) will only kill every other nice pleasant arthropod in your yard, like mantids, lady beetles etc.

[Chardok]

Well, so, the exterminator came out and laid down 10 gallons of Boric acid (At least that's what I think based on the name of the product) and several....somethings.... else, and it seems to have done fuck-all to the insect population. The place crawls with pillbugs at night still, there are earwigs everywhere you look, and of course, where there are prey animals, there are predators. I've found no less than 4 more scorpions since the exterminator visit. One I sprayed directly with Raid, watching gleefully as the nerve agent took hold. then I impaled him on a bamboo skewer and set him out in the yard, where a passing grackle was later only too happy to gobble up the free meal. Hope I got his ass, too. Fucking grackles.

Anyhoo, as for crickets, I really don't care. I've a new house, so it is well insulated from outside sound, so the crickets can just drum up whatevere lovely chorus they want all day and all night. Lately, though...I've noticed a new visitor, a very....unwelcome one. While in the garage the other night assembling my grill, something smacked my neck - hard. I heard a chitin-y "kerrack!" when I grabbed the offending slapper and threw it against the wall. Upon closer observation, I discovered goddamn june bugs. Not just the one that hit my neck, but when I looked outside, there were three more crawling about under the light.



...this will be an interesting summer.

[Thanas]

So go get some chickens then. Plus, you might also enjoy having your own, delicious eggs each morning.

[J]

Bad idea as he lives in Texas. Dick Cheney will think those chickens are quail and accidentally shoot him with a shotgun.

[Lisa]

when i saw the title i thought he was keeping them as pets and was showing off.

[Chardok]

That....is the most horrifying avatar ever, Lisa.

Well, here we are, and my war continues. yesterday as Ricky and I headed into the garage to get his bike, he stopped "Whoa!"

"What?"
"Scorpion"
"Dangit!"
"You gotta kill it, daddy!"
"Yeah, I know, but how?"
"Use your shoe!"
"I only have socks on."
"Spray it!"
"Spray is in the garage"
...
"I got it!"


*grabs hammer*
*Shows scorpion the true meaning of "Home Improvement"*


Fing arachnids.

[Thanas]

CHICKENS.

[Chardok]

CHICKENS.

Look, Thanas, I would LOVE to have a chicken, or two! But, here in the US we have Homeowner's associations, and we have to...like, get permission from them to do crap like, buy chickens, or install tool sheds, or plant certain trees, or place the garbage can on the curb the night before trash pickup and not the morning of, or have a yard sale, or install lighting along sidewalks, or have a mailbox that looks different from the other people's in the subdivision.

[Thanas]

Why would they refuse?

[Todeswind]

Why would they refuse?

Homeowners associations are run like a Soviet political block. Logic is less important than unity and political status. If it's something that is even remotely capable of lowering property values then "glorious leader denies your request."

[LaCroix]

So they would prefer Scorpions to Chickens?

I doubt so.

[Todeswind]

So they would prefer Scorpions to Chickens?

I doubt so.

Scorpions don't shit on your BMW.