Fundamentalist Logic

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-08-16 03:17am

This thread is to poke fun at the logic used by paranoid fundamentalists you hear about all the time, and creationists. I'll start, with Fawlell logic:

"Tinky Winky is gay"

"Gay pepople are evil"

"The Teetubbies are on PBS"

"Sesame Street is also on PBS"

"Therefore, Sesame Street is evil"

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2002-08-16 04:23pm

My personal favourite:

Fundie Moron: "God is perfect love."

Freethinker: "But God does terrible things in the Old Testament."

Fundie Moron: "You're taking it out of context."

Freethinker: "Context? In what context is it OK to butcher children, wipe out whole cities which are 'wicked' but pose no threat to you, commit global genocide, or instruct your followers to stone people to death for things such as homosexuality, working on Sunday, or swearing at their parents?"

Fundie Moron: "You don't understand. God is perfect love. He sent his Son so that we could all find Salvation in his Grace, even though we are all sinners."

Freethinker: "How the fuck does that address my point? Are you brain-damaged? Answer the fucking point!"

Fundie Moron: "I see you have no real answer, hence you resorted to foul language and insults. Such is the way of people who do not know God. I will pray for you."

(At this point, the freethinker's brain explodes, much as alien supercomputers tend to self-destruct when Kirk speaks meaningless gibberish to them in Star Trek).

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2002-08-16 04:57pm

In Darth Wong's format:

Fundie Moron: "I believe in God."

Freethinker: "Why? What makes you so certian there is a god? And why must it be your perticular version of that diety?"

Fundie Moron: "Because the Bible says so."

Freethinker: "Why should the Bible be trusted? What seperates it from the rest of the world's holy text? Why is it valid and the hundreds, if not thousands of others invalid?"

Fundie Moron: "Because the Bible is the word of God."

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-08-16 06:45pm

In the Traditonal Format
What acutal happens when he reads posts(IE SD.Net through Darkstars Eyes)
Darkstar: ST can easly beat SW through a Varity of Reasons I will explain

Master of Ossus:No way Darkstar we already all know that you don't need to provided any Evidance, Heck forget I said Anything

SirNitrim:Wow I never knew how somone could be so right and deviously handsome at the same Time!

Mr Bean: I sit in awe of your brillance please I beg of you run for politcal office your just the forward thinking person we need!

Mike Wong: Yes Thanks to Darkstar I've relised the Error of my Ways and I keep my website up only as a symbol of how misguided I used to be, Thanks to Dark-Star not only have I learned but I found God agian, I'm a Born Agian Christian All thanks to you Darkstar!

All: We Love you Darkstar!

Darkstar:Aww shucks thanks guys I'm always glad to come to SD.net where everybody knows your name and always have a nice thing to tell a guy

*Everyone has a big group hug and fade to black while Leave it to Beaver Credit Music Playes

This has been a Trip Inside the Deepest Niether Regisions of Dark-stars mind

IDMR · Post by **IDMR** » 2002-08-16 08:30pm

Bean, you are sick.

::looks at the post count::

You also have a lot of time on your hands, it seems.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-08-16 08:38pm

Indeed

Wrong on the first correct on the second IDMR, One for two's not bad

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-08-16 09:21pm

Mr Bean wrote:In the Traditonal Format
What acutal happens when he reads posts(IE SD.Net through Darkstars Eyes)
Darkstar: ST can easly beat SW through a Varity of Reasons I will explain

Master of Ossus:No way Darkstar we already all know that you don't need to provided any Evidance, Heck forget I said Anything

SirNitrim:Wow I never knew how somone could be so right and deviously handsome at the same Time!

Mr Bean: I sit in awe of your brillance please I beg of you run for politcal office your just the forward thinking person we need!

Mike Wong: Yes Thanks to Darkstar I've relised the Error of my Ways and I keep my website up only as a symbol of how misguided I used to be, Thanks to Dark-Star not only have I learned but I found God agian, I'm a Born Agian Christian All thanks to you Darkstar!

All: We Love you Darkstar!

Darkstar:Aww shucks thanks guys I'm always glad to come to SD.net where everybody knows your name and always have a nice thing to tell a guy

*Everyone has a big group hug and fade to black while Leave it to Beaver Credit Music Playes

This has been a Trip Inside the Deepest Niether Regisions of Dark-stars mind

*Attempts to work slide on M1911 while shuddering*

Don’t ever do that again!

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2002-08-16 09:25pm

Mr Bean wrote:In the Traditonal Format
What acutal happens when he reads posts(IE SD.Net through Darkstars Eyes)
Darkstar: ST can easly beat SW through a Varity of Reasons I will explain

Master of Ossus:No way Darkstar we already all know that you don't need to provided any Evidance, Heck forget I said Anything

SirNitrim:Wow I never knew how somone could be so right and deviously handsome at the same Time!

Mr Bean: I sit in awe of your brillance please I beg of you run for politcal office your just the forward thinking person we need!

Mike Wong: Yes Thanks to Darkstar I've relised the Error of my Ways and I keep my website up only as a symbol of how misguided I used to be, Thanks to Dark-Star not only have I learned but I found God agian, I'm a Born Agian Christian All thanks to you Darkstar!

All: We Love you Darkstar!

Darkstar:Aww shucks thanks guys I'm always glad to come to SD.net where everybody knows your name and always have a nice thing to tell a guy

*Everyone has a big group hug and fade to black while Leave it to Beaver Credit Music Playes

This has been a Trip Inside the Deepest Niether Regisions of Dark-stars mind

Make the pain stop....please....

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-08-16 10:01pm

That was a mear taste of the horrible depths of his mind pray you never anger me least you find a little slip of paper tucked under your door one day that contained words of such, Vile, Cruel and above all worst of all, TRUE, words that YOU VERY MIND WOULD COOK TRYING TO COMPREHEND IT!

Oh and I've taken that evil evil Mr Bean pick and taken its evilness and mutiplied by fifty that should make you dig your eyes out of the whole mind meleting thing does not go according to plan

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2002-08-17 12:31am

Darth Wong wrote:My personal favourite:

Fundie Moron: "God is perfect love."

Freethinker: "But God does terrible things in the Old Testament."

Fundie Moron: "You're taking it out of context."

Freethinker: "Context? In what context is it OK to butcher children, wipe out whole cities which are 'wicked' but pose no threat to you, commit global genocide, or instruct your followers to stone people to death for things such as homosexuality, working on Sunday, or swearing at their parents?"

Fundie Moron: "You don't understand. God is perfect love. He sent his Son so that we could all find Salvation in his Grace, even though we are all sinners."

Freethinker: "How the fuck does that address my point? Are you brain-damaged? Answer the fucking point!"

Fundie Moron: "I see you have no real answer, hence you resorted to foul language and insults. Such is the way of people who do not know God. I will pray for you."

(At this point, the freethinker's brain explodes, much as alien supercomputers tend to self-destruct when Kirk speaks meaningless gibberish to them in Star Trek).

yeah, realistic thinking like that does a lot to confuse the issue. I sometimes wonder if the god I worship is manic depressive.