Written with Shroom (Who put in the pic and the header)
CHECKUP CASCADIA
In Goddamn Unreal Time
In Transit
"So, Sidney Hank told me all about your adventures in the forests of Frequesue," Shroom mentioned off-handedly. "Did you guys really blow up ten tanks?"
"Two tanks. Just two, I'm afraid. Now if you'll follow me..." Stephen led Shroom to the limo - a Brentley it seemed. Shroom approved, after all it was a fine
Shroomanian brand.
"Oh, that Sidney," Shroom laughed as he got in the stretch. "Always exaggerating."
The motorcade took the two leaders and their present retinues to the Presidential Mansion. That night there was to be the usual state banquet for such visits, as well as things to be done in the coming days like a personal inspection of a battalion from Cascadia's elite 1st Guard Division and of active flights of Cascadia's advanced 5th Gen fighters, a tour of various facilities and places, etc. But for now, they could have a private conversation.
In the Presidential Office he seated himself across from Shroom on one of the couches usually occupied by advisors and such. "So, how is Sidney? I heard he finally got engaged to Ms. Sinclair."
"Ah yeah, so he is." Shroom replied wistfully. "That Daphne Sinclair is quite a woman, quite a woman indeed - couldn't think of a better dame for Sidney to finally end up with. Rich, powerful and downright competent. No one else could lead San Dorado in Sid's place, and now they're gonna get married. What a lucky guy, and Daphne's lucky to have quite a prize like Sidney too! Man."
"And how about you, Prime Minister? Those Shroomanian tabloids make you out to be quite a bachelor, is there any merit to what those rags are printing?" Stephen asked. Then he realized what he had just asked. "If you don't mind my wondering, of course."
"Hah!" Shroom laughed. From Sidney, he knew that Stephen could be quite a personable guy - but man, this was great! "Heh, I don't mind it, really, I get that all the time. But, eh, I don't know. I guess you can say that I'm married to my country - just a plain old working stiff who hasn't got any time and all that. A bit like Rufus, I think we're the only world leaders who're still... er, available. Haha!"
Stephen just looked at the guy incredulously and laughed. Partly because of the inanity of the subject matter they were both discussing, and partly because of relief. They were out of sight, with bulletproof glass protecting them from any would-be assassin
and any would-be journo out to make a travissty out of their conversations. Without pomp and ceremony, they could just be themselves.
"I think Rufus has the hots for that pretty aide of King Paul's though, Kamila was her name-o." Shroom whispered rather loudly. "But don't tell anyone that."
"My lips are sealed," Stephen replied. "So... the Costa. Quite a damned mess and it seems the entire situation has become some kind of stress point between CATO and MESS. And with so few unaligned nations left in the world I knew we'd need to be involved in peacekeeping operations."
"Well, Cascadia is one of the few nations that can be counted on as neutral in these kinds of things - being unaffiliated with either MESS or CATO. So, I guess we're kind of glad to have you guys in. The MESS can send Canissia to mediate the Costa, CATO has Shroomania as mediator. Cascadia can then, heh, mediate the both of our mediating countries," Shroom responded.
"My Secretary of State has already approached his counterparts in your government and Canissia's about appointing a Cascadian officer to oversee the peacekeepers as a whole. And if a neutral site is desired for negotiating the situation in the Costa then we are more than willing to host it."
"That would be acceptable. Neither MESS nor CATO would like to see the other side extending their influence in the Costa, and personally I think it's rather unfair if either powerblocs took advantage of the nation's sad state as an opportunity of expansion. Having your nation as a neutral site for negotiation would also save both sides a fair share of troublesome 'negotiations.'"
"I guess the biggest problem stems from the fact that the Costa was, to begin with, a rather unstable nation filled with corruption and violence. That only caused the Baernish intervention and, through that, the whole mess between the CATO and the MESS. If the Costa's inherent instability gets worked out, if a proper government gets established, then no one will have anything to be worried about. But that is easier said than done, of course."
"The problem there is that I doubt the people in charge are going to want to compromise on this issue, not when they know they have Tian Xia and thus probable MESS backing. But nothing is gained if nothing is tried, so I'll make the formal offer of hosting the talks," Stephen said. "Speaking of crisises involving the MESS, how is Setzer taking things? What with his country coming under a xenophobe mass-murderer and the Old Dominion launching those attacks?"
"Well... he isn't taking things too well, I'm afraid. Setzer's safe in Shroomania, with most of his friends and family in exile, but the man was ousted by a junta that would've executed him if given the chance. He told me that he's given up on Sirnoth. I can't really blame him, being right next door to both Astaria and Shepistan. He doesn't know what to make of the whole Sirnoth Situation right now and, to be frank, neither do I. The place is so far off that it can be so conveniently forgotten, like Shepistan and Astaria. But the fact is, people are getting gassed and nuked there. It's not the Pathogen Wars, but it's still something. And the worst bit is is that Sirnoth is, or was, FUN."
Stephen gave a nod at that. "It's an unfortunate situation. And here we can't help but notice it's going to likely lead to Old Dominion taking over Sirnoth and completing its takeover of the Crater Archipelago.”
"It's not likely, it's almost assured. Since the Old Dominion holds the entire Shepland continent and everything is within reach of him, while for everyone else the Crater Archipelago might as well be in a galaxy far far away, there's hardly anything we can do. All I've got is diseased-ridden Astaria, with a bunch of Mushroom Marines herding survivors and refugees while on the lookout of ambiguous and debatable Rage Zombies."
"And the worst thing is, to be honest, to me and my CATO 'communazi comrades', we're seeing an outright MESS expansion with everything from the kitchen sink to nuclear weapons being used in war. Comparatively, CATO has not fired a single shot in its 'imperialistic expansion', with every member is a willing and consenting partner. The best we got are Baernish peacekeepers getting gassed."
“I’ve noticed that some of the MESS-press complaints about CATO expansion are rather unfair, especially when it was Tian Xia’s sudden urge to expand activity in Frequesue and enter the CFR that prompted the expansion of CATO in the first place,” Stephen pointed out. “The MESS states do come off as sensitive sometimes about such matters. You’d think that with Byzantium holding membership in both outfits and the general peace that reigned with CATO’s progenitor, the SNC, they’d realize CATO posed no threat.”
With a look of utmost cynicism Stephen now added, “As for Astaria, it’s been over five years, there shouldn’t be any Reaver-afflicted people left. And actually, that brings me to my next consideration.” Taking a small glass of tea he’d brought over, Stephen sipped at it to wetten his throat before continuing. “Since the Pathogen War BIOCOM has been functioning as a proactive force to deal with the possibility of another bioagent war. But manufactured bioagents aren’t the only risk in the world, especially with so many countries eyeing Veleria now. I’ve been thinking that another organization like BIOCOM could be established but as a reactive group, not inspecting countries for biological weapon research but fielding doctors and researchers to identify outbreaks of virulent diseases, plagues, and the like, and to help contain and even cure them. Such an organization could also help organize the eventual reclaimation of the Astarian Red Zone.”
"Thank you, Stephen. It's good to know that not every other major power in the world is gunning for those of us in CATO. I don't know why the MESS is so sensitive over this, especially since they are the ones who have composed the mightiest entanglement of survivialist states for so many years. They don't take to well to competition, it seems. Which is most disappointing - while CATO's expansion has, very much admittedly, been rather rapid, it was done so without violence, without deceit and with honesty and respect. I honestly can't see what the MESS hopes to achieve with its more antagonistic approach of things in general."
"Ah, do you have any more of that tea?" Shroom asked politely.
"Of course." Stephen got up and retrieved the pitcher, refilling Shroom's glass.
"Thank you.” Shroom took a sip of tea “With regards to your proposition, I actually had something similar in mind as well when I was planning to come here to meet you. Since Cascadia under your leadership has been part of several humanitarian efforts, I was wondering if you would be receptive to an idea of something like a... 'World Health Organization'. But obviously you've beaten me to it,” Shroom laughed. “I find the idea of a unified world organization aiming for helping people, in sickness or in health, for benevolent humanitarian reasons to be a rather compelling idea. We can use this organization to help people and even make up for the sins of the past, namely the Pathogen War. This tea is
delicious."
Referring to that conflict as a ‘sin of the past’ resonated especially well with Stephen. He had, after all, been working covertly to help destabilize Astaria, not realizing how deathly serious Shep was in his intentions to launch a bio-attack. “I’m glad to see I have your support, perhaps we should make a joint announcement during your visit for the rest of the world to digest?”
"That would be rather excellent. Aside from figuring out how exactly we'll negotiate the matter of the Costa, and how we'll handle the whole Sirnoth Situation, we can announce our ideas for this... Global Organization for Peaceful Health and Equal Restitution and see how everyone takes to it. It'd be a positive development, for a change, compared to everything that's been going on in Frequesue and the Crater Archipelago lately. GOPHER."
How... Shroomanian, was the thought that crossed Stephen’s head, as he was not entirely surprised by the proposed organization name.
Do they come up with these things in their spare time or is it some bizarre gift? Aloud he remarked, “A World Health Organization being founded is just what everyone needs to hear.”
Why am I suddenly worried this’ll turn into another ‘Caymans/Gaymans’ thing?
“Very much so.”