SDNWorld Redux: Story Thread the First.

Vohu Manah · Post by **Vohu Manah** » 2008-08-24 10:44pm

Official Communique from The Most Serene Republic of Ninhursag to the Crimson Star Republic and the Byzantium Empire

The Most Serene Republic of Ninhursag agrees to host the relevant talks at the Kun-lun Arcology within one month's time. We will agree to another location if desired. Our nation's Minister for Foreign Affairs, Deepti Florentina, will represent our fair state in the relevant discussion.

Setzer · Post by **Setzer** » 2008-08-24 11:25pm

To the Most Benevolent Prime Minister Shroom the 777th

My most sincere apologies, but recent circumstances forbid me from attending the FUN conference in person. Until there is a reasonable assurance of lasting peace between Shepistan and the Old Dominion, I must remain on hand to guide and protect my nation. I'm sure you understand.

Instead, I shall be sending Lady Melfirth Anethga as Ambassador to Shroomania. Rest assured that she speaks with my voice with regards to international matters, and that a ship conveying her is en route to Pezookia as we speak.

Sincerely,

Sovereign Setzer of the Sirnoth Principality

Grand Moff Yenchin · Post by **Grand Moff Yenchin** » 2008-08-25 12:37am

Serenity Sentinel

Joint Biotech Research with Byzantium Empire

A 750 Million ROB fund was been passed by the Legislative Hall for the National Science Committee and the Central Institute of Science and Technology for a joint biotechnology research cooperation between the Byzantium Empire and the Kingdom of Serenity.

While details are still unclear, Professor Jack Focault, spokesman of the NSC has mentioned that the fields focused would be preventive medicine, bioremedy, cancer, stem cells, and biofuel.

When asked about the ethics on stem cell research, Prof. Focault only replied, "Thank you, everything is legal and ethical."

Serenity SCOOPER!

MORE CASH ON PROJECT GOOD MOUNTAIN?????

Our insiders of the Legislative Hall have informed us that the Hall has passed a 3 billion ROB bill on Project Good Mountain for some so-called "additions". Is this necessary? Is this a hint of some scandal? We of the SCOOPER! will be constantly following the usage of this 3 billion fund. Be sure to buy next week's copy!

Fingolfin_Noldor · Post by **Fingolfin_Noldor** » 2008-08-25 02:39am

Constantinople Times
A paper produced by Veritas News

Byzantine Government agrees to joint biotech research with the Kingdom of Serenity.

The Government spokesman has told news reporters has agreed to enter into a research pact that would see the Empire's biotech related institutes join hands with their Kingdom of Serenity counterparts in bio research and to match the funding provided by the Kingdom of Serenity. On the issue of stem cells however, the response was rather muted, though they say that it would be largely on adult stem cells. The Orthodox church charged that some scientists were doing blasphemous research and they ought to be burnt at the stake.

Post by **K. A. Pital** » 2008-08-25 03:01am

New Five-Year Plan Announced: People's Commisariat for Internal Affairs

The Five-Year Plan in the name of Crimson Star will span the period of five years and will focus on re-invigorating the industries of the Republic.

It's main slogans are MORE METAL - MORE MACHINES and BIONIC BREAKTHROUGHS EXPECTED.

As some citizens might know, recently comrades Pavlov and Vavilov made a breakthrough with cyborg research, by connecting neurons of a rat's brain to a robot. The robot was able to use it's sensors and manipulators.

It was only a simple brain, but a great step forward for the Institute of Neurology and Cybernetics.

The President ordered in a special decree that this technology be exploited to it's fullest extent, with special attention towards creating cybernetic war machines that could help our peacekeep forces in the never-ceasing low-intensity warfare in the Borders.

Over 20 various factories and institutions in the CSR are included in the Special Cybernetics Research Funding programme which is one of the heartlines of the new Five-Year Plan.

We will continue to explain the main points of the new Five-Year Plan in our next newsletters.

PeZook · Post by **PeZook** » 2008-08-25 03:18am

Orena Evening News

Royal Court congratulates the Ninhursag first pair on their firstborn child

The Royal Press Office released a statement congratulating the First Pair of the Most Serene Republic of Ninhursag on the arrival of their first-born child. By royal decree of the King himself, the pair and their son would be

"Welcome guests to PeZookia at any time, and we shall guarantee a place in finest PeZookian universities shall it be requested of us, in the spirit of international co-operation."

FUN conference to begin shortly ; Itinerary expanded beyond internal FUN matters

On the eve of the Orena FUN conference, the Royal Press Office released information that, due to the arrival of representatives from many nations outside the FUN, the itinerary has been expanded to eight days, and shall cover many non-FUN international issues.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Fabowice, eastern PeZookia

The "Volt" nightclub on the outskirts of Fabowice was long known as a trouble-spot for the local police. A favored meeting place for many criminals, site of brawls and many a knifing incident, it also doubled as a rich source of inside informants, which is why the police have left the owner alone for the most part.

Organized crime was becoming a really serious problem in PeZookia, in no small part due to the porous eastern border: drugs, weapons and even sex slaves were routinely shipped across it by warlords who always needed money for their latest war campaigns against their neighbors. Hence why the rising need to cultivate inside informants.

However, with the discovery that the club was in fact a headquarters of a huge slave-dealing ring, any possible benefits of maintaining inside informants at this location were deemed not high enough. With acquisition of sufficient evidence, a search warrant was issued on the location, and a task force of counter-terrorism officers assembled.

Comissar Sebastian Watroba was watching the building right now from his unmarked car, parked across the street. He already spotted several known criminals entering the premises - he knew they hanged out here, doing business, getting to know people running organized crime rings in other parts of PeZookia and, without a doubt, using the less savory "services" offered by the place.

"AT leader to 00", his radio squawked, "We're in position."

The comissar lowered his binoculars and grabbed the mouthpiece.

"Confirmed AT leader. 00 to perimeter, AT is ready", he spoke

"Roger that. We have the street isolated."

The comissar took a deep breath. Now or never.

"00 to all units. Execute, execute, execute."

Outside, near the club's entrance, the bouncer was checking out a particularly long-legged blonde when the people standing in line started screaming and running away. As he turned around, he spotted seven hunched figures, heavily armed and wearing body armor, approaching him quickly.

"POLICE! GET DOWN!", one of them screamed, pointing a Beryl rifle at the bouncer's head. He was a big guy - huge, even - but he wasn't stupid. He raised his hands and dropped to his knees. While one of the police commandoes handcuffed him and passed him over to supporting patrol officers, the rest of his colleagues took positions on both sides of the door. They clicked their radios two times, signifying they were ready.

Two clicks confirmed that the other entry element was ready, too.

Inside, the commotion went completely unnoticed, thanks to deafeningly loud music. When police commandos broke inside, it quite a few people several seconds to realize what was going on.

"POLICE! SEARCH WARRANT! EVERYBODY DOWN, ON THE FLOOR, NOW!"

Several gangsters jumped up and attempted to run out of the back, but there were heavily armed police commandoes there, too. A particularly stupid bodyguard pulled out a handgun and aimed it at the officers, but was shot almost immediately. The crowd inside screamed - fortunately, the club has just opened, and thus the crowds weren't packed very tightly.

The shock worked. Patrol officers swarmed inside shortly after the police commandoes secured the premises: they handcuffed and dragged out all the suspects and began herding the civilians towards the exit. Radio cars were already on the street, having cleared the nearest street corned after the go-ahead was given.

In the back, Element 2 ascended a staircase and stormed a private apartments of the club's owner, pretty much dragging him off a girl and handcuffing him on the filthy floor, naked. Two officers kicked down a locked door on the far side of the studio apartment.

"Oh, goddammit!"

The next call over the radio confirmed everybody's worst suspicions.

"Element 2 to 00, we've found six females in the studio above the nightclub. We'll need a locksmith and some clothes. They look pretty bad."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

RAID REPORT: NIGHTCLUB "VOLT", AUGUST 30 2008, FABOWICE METROPOLITAN POLICE

Comissar Sebastian Watroba

...

SECTION 2.4: RECOVERED VICTIMS

During the raid, one of the entry teams has recovered six female victims. Locked in a separate room of the studio apartment, owned by one Damian B., they were handcuffed to a hook in the floor, malnourished and obviously abused. Signs included bruises on hands and upper body ; Needle marks suggesting forced drug injections ; Medical obductions revealed marks of sexual abuse.

All victims were kept naked and none spoke PeZookian ; It was determined later that three were citizens of the Crimson Star Republic, one came from the Byzantine Empire, and two from Japanistan.

According the interviews conducted via translator, all victims confirmed they were lured to PeZookia by newspaper ads claiming to look for waitresses and babysitters ; Both Japanistani citizens were abducted from New Sumatra and brought to PeZookia via speedboat.

....

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PeZook · Post by **PeZook** » 2008-08-25 04:00am

Royal Congressional Hall, Orena, one day before the start of the FUN conference

The Royal Congressional Hall was a huge building, constructed in the beginnings of the 2nd half of the XXth century. It contained numerous conference rooms, a lavish hotel fit for international guests, and a large auditorium. Constructed specifically for hosting conventions and conferences, it was truly the pride of the Republic.

And right now, it was performing its function well. The FUN conference was scheduled to begin the next day, and right now, a semi-formal banquet was thrown for the gathered representatives.

Semi-formal in this case meant, of course, that instead of tuxedos, dining jackets were required.

King Paul entered the banquet hall about ten minutes after everyone gathered there. His wife was with him, smiling a Royally dignified smile for the photo cameras of accredited reporters.

The King drifted slowly through the conference hall, exchanging a few words with everyone here, letting them know their arrival was much appreciated. For a few of them, though, he stopped for a couple of minutes, discussing matters which could not wait for later.

"Prime Minister," he said, shaking hands with Shroom - who definitely felt odd in a formal dining jacket, "I hope you are in good health. I think you should know that I intend to announce the FASTA should attempt a moonshot, and invite everyone to co-operate. I hope you will support me on that?

And did you really have to wear a wig to this party?"

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2008-08-25 04:02am

Off the Coast of Bethany, Western Shepistan

Captain John Kuzmina of the RSS Jack watched as the innumerable subchasers which were assigned to this remote port undertook the task of sanitizing the channel of possible MESS submarines, namely by randomly firing hedgehogs at any probable contact and usually just for the hell of it.

From his perch up high in the sail, he watched as the great bulk of his boat, all 40,000 tons and 578 feet of it cut through the icy western waters.

"Sir," said the XO, turning to him. "We're past the hundred fathom curve. It's time."

"Indeed it is. It's time enough. Rig the boat for diving."

As the mighty submarine prepared for diving, Kuzmina thought about the secret mission orders in the locked safe in his quarters...

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2008-08-25 04:12am

Astarian Embassy, Shepistan

"So it's agreed then, Colonel?" said the Astarian ambassador.

"Yes indeed, it is." replied Colonel Mike Hoare of the Internal Security Agency. "We'll give you Kanawaha mountain tribesmen that we've captured during our anti-insurgent campaign for about $200 per lot of a dozen."

"Excellent. Most excellent. Shall we drink to celebrate?"

"Indeed."

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2008-08-25 04:15am

North Coast of The Untamed Land of Velaria, Free Lungga City Airport

The airport was a single building owned by the United Northern Mining Corporation, a company which existed only within its own records, and a runway which dated to 1937 and had originally been paved by the Japanistani navy. The jungle had been cut back 500 yards on both sides of the 5,000 foot strip, and grassy fields naturally rolled down a gentle slope to the sea shore about a half mile distant from the end of the strip. The only roads ran to Lungga, some two miles away east, and down to the shore were a small dock had been constructed.

Inside the solitary wooden building, United Northern Mine Boss Bruce Rathasinger stumbled towards the door drunk, he hardly spent a day in the last tweleve years sober and was convinced it was the only reason he could survive the malaria and jungle fevers that left him short of workers every day. His trusty twelve gauge, which he removed from the rack as he went, took care of the other dangers kindly enough.

In those twelve years, he could never recall a time when his tiny piece of the world had been so loud except when they’d blasted down new sections of the lode twenty miles upland. The heavy almost monotonous whine of approaching turbines was almost drowning out the words of one of his men, yelling and pointing towards a group of nearly a dozen fast approaching transport planes. Each was a four engine jet transport, Japanistani model JC-76 Maple Highlifters copied from the Il-76 design. The first two aircraft were flying slightly ahead of the others, and as they roared three hundred feet overhead the reason for this became apparent when dozen large cargo pallets slid off the open rear ramps. Each pallet deployed two silk camouflage parachutes, except the last load, on which a sigle chute failed to deploy, leaving the pallet to smash into the ground and shatter its connects across the dirt parking apron.

Before the pallets even hit earth the second group of eight Maple Highlifters roared overhead in turn, long sticks of paratroopers jumping from them on static lines. Hundreds of parachutes descended over the full length of the airfield, 128 men had jumped from each plane. Rathasinger could at first hardly comprehend that a whole reinforced battalion had dropped into his world, effectively tripling the local population, but then he began to have suspicious that he already knew what it was about. He also noted that several of the strangers arriving

He walked down the wooden front steps of his ramshackle field canteen and office and approached his three men, a pilot and two improvised ground crewmen who had been refueling the company DC-3. The first paratroopers were already collapsing canopies and getting to their feet.

“What the hell is going on Boss?” demanded the pilot. “What the he’ll do you have me fly into today?”
“Relax,” replied Rathasinger, before taking another swig from his flask. “These bastards look like Japs and are probably after that damn wackjob in Lungga, and the jungle Ill get to them plenty quick anyway.” He turned back around, shotgun still in hand, to find himself faced by a dozen Japanistani paratroopers, each armed with a modern Type 06 folding stock carbine. Every barrel was on him.

“Please, good day to you,” said one Japanistani private in his best attempt at english, almost smiling as he continued to aim his weapon. He was cut short when 9th parachute infantry battalion commander Lieutenant Colonel Kuni Yasuhiko walked up.

“Mr Bruce Rathasinger I presume,” he said in perfect English “I am pleased to inform you of your new membership in the Co Prosperity Sphere of the Chrysanthemum Throne.”

Karmic Knight · Post by **Karmic Knight** » 2008-08-25 04:22am

Royal Congressional Hall, Orena

Ambassador Spince had managed to successfully land in Pezookia, and successfully stay under the radar during the pre-conference party. Why the Pezookian King was throwing a party before the opening ceremonies of a very important conference, Spince had no idea. Possibly, the King wanted the world leaders and their ambassadors hung-over and easier to manipulate, but this was just idle speculation. Ambassador Spince had a job to do, and no amount of drunken world leaders would keep him from his goal. He at first tried to find the Pezookian King, Paul or something. When he found him, he found him talking to the Shroomainian Prime Minister, Maybe I can kill two birds with one stone, doesn’t Shroomainia decide who is in the fun?, Spince thought as he walked towards the two leaders.

“Sirs, I would like to know if you had time to speak with me,” he then looked at the leaders, who were apparently done with whatever they had been talking about, and had walked in opposite directions,

“Fuck.”

edit:
Headlines of the Vinish Press

-Eutopia Folds, sends a delegate to the FTO conference

-Possible Debate Point in San Dorado, Military Mergers?

-New Music Craze Sweeps Southern Vineyards, Grunge.

-September Ridge, Terrorist Action?

PeZook · Post by **PeZook** » 2008-08-25 04:45am

Karmic Knight wrote: Royal Congressional Hall, Orena

Ambassador Spince had managed to successfully land in Pezookia, and successfully stay under the radar during the pre-conference party. Why the Pezookian King was throwing a party before the opening ceremonies of a very important conference, Spince had no idea. Possibly, the King wanted the world leaders and their ambassadors hung-over and easier to manipulate, but this was just idle speculation. Ambassador Spince had a job to do, and no amount of drunken world leaders would keep him from his goal. He at first tried to find the Pezookian King, Paul or something. When he found him, he found him talking to the Shroomainian Prime Minister, Maybe I can kill two birds with one stone, doesn’t Shroomainia decide who is in the fun?, Spince thought as he walked towards the two leaders.

“Sirs, I would like to know if you had time to speak with me,” he then looked at the leaders, who were apparently done with whatever they had been talking about, and had walked in opposite directions,

“Fuck.”

The King was saved from a major diplomatic faux pas by his assistant, who discreetly pointed out Ambassador Spince to him. Smiling, PeZookia's sovereign approached the official.

"Ambassador! I am pleased to see you here. I hope everything is to your liking? I'd like to introduce my wife, Agatha."

"A pleasure, to be sure", said the Queen, extending her hand

"I presume you have a matter to discuss with us, Ambassador?", the King asked, after the pleasantries and introductions were concluded.

Karmic Knight · Post by **Karmic Knight** » 2008-08-25 05:10am

PeZook wrote:"I presume you have a matter to discuss with us, Ambassador?", the King asked, after the pleasantries and introductions were concluded.

"Ah, yes, well, I would like to know the status of FASTA, as my Sovereign would like be aware of the current space programs he may support, and to what end they wish to reach."

King Paul looked at the Ambassador slightly confused, "Why would your Sovereign want to know the status and goals of space programs he is going to support?"

"His goal is to expose a Vinish Citizen to conditions in space, and test them by forcing them to watch terrible B movies, he calls it Operation MADS. Oh and before I forget, would you be willing to host an Ambassador here in PeZookia?"

"Ah," the King responded, not sounding at all reassured, "Having an Ambassador in the country would be fine." The King passed off Spince to an aide, one who happened to be a member of the FASTA chain of command.

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2008-08-25 05:36am

PeZook wrote:Royal Congressional Hall, Orena, one day before the start of the FUN conference

It was definitely a grand ball, Shroom had to say so himself. Big, with awesome chandeliers and with foods of all forms, shapes and sizes - including ten kinds of cheese, and a wide variety of wines ranging from Byzantine to Vinish.

World leaders, diplomats, and other fellows and chaps and ladies and lasses were hobnobbing and some-such. Shroom passed them by, greeting pleasantly any of those who came within his personal proximity, though in actuality he did not pay them any attention. The Prime Minister was sticking his large-ish head up like a periscope, looking for familiar faces. Alison had gone to the bathroom, and without his most trusted aide, Shroom was a little bit lost.

But then he found King Paul, and his wife Agatha - and Shroom could not suppress a happy smile from forming on his face. He adjusted the monocle - the Germanic (or Shroomanic) piece of regalia in his English-themed (Shroomish) attire.

Damn, it's been too long!

King Paul wrote:"Prime Minister," he said, shaking hands with Shroom - who definitely felt odd in a formal dining jacket, "I hope you are in good health. I think you should know that I intend to announce the FASTA should attempt a moonshot, and invite everyone to co-operate. I hope you will support me on that?

And did you really have to wear a wig to this party?"

"I'm great, thank you very much! As for the wig, and the makeup, I... uhh... I thought it was going to be a costume party," Shroom jokingly explained. "Though, seriously, it's in good FUN.

"Speaking of which, I'll definitely support you on the moonshot. Moonshot, that does sound suggestive, if you get what I mean," Shroom laughed. If Paul's objective with the pre-conference party was to get everyone drunk and stupid, then he had achieved that goal.

Oddly enough, Shroom realized that he had not even a single sip of alcohol. Strange.

"Great," Paul exclaimed. "FASTA will be crucial in the FUN's place in the future, and in the present. Through our moonshot, we can develop all sorts of technologies that will ensure our place in the world."

"Yeah, we've been looking on expanding our ShroomSat coverage - y'know, dominating world media and communications that way," Shroom grinned. "And making a crapload of cash - for outrageous fees!"

"Maybe you can visit the Gaymean Shipyards," Paul quipped, and they laughed, remembering good (or bad, or goodbad) old times. Oddly enough, the ISCA did in fact exist 'here'. Gaymea was rife with burly dockyard workers who did their geographical area's name proud.

"Those burly builders better get exercising. We're gonna need all our boats. With all the going ons, it looks like we'll have to race Japanistan to the Untamed Continent, Valeria. Hope there'll be enough to go around," Shroom uttered as he regarded the Japanistani representative who was taking keen interest in the sushi bar. "How are your borders, by the way?"

"Not too bad. But not good either. Those Shadow breakaways are really troublesome for my eastern lands. At least Canissia to the west is somewhat sane - despite the fact that some of my fellow countrymen and women go over the border to get polygamous marriages, and come back and try to get us to recognize them," Paul sighed. "But those eastern frontiers, they're really bothersome. It's like... a Super Chechnya."

"Goddamn Super Chechnyans," Shroom raised a clenched fist. "Or, as they say in the Shroomanic Shreutsch - Götterdämmerung der Über Chechnyanmensch!"

"Why, you surprise me, Prime Minister," Queen Agatha said as she returned with a tiny plateful of escargot - a Canissian delicacy. "I never knew you to be multi-lingual, last time we went."

Shroom raised an eyebrow at that - wondering what she meant by 'last time', if she meant the other time, or some different time, or if she really meant the last last time. He would ask Paul about that, sometime... or not at all. It was a strange thing, and a sensitive one as well.

"I'm bi- a lot of things," the Prime Minister replied casually. "But lingual isn't one of them, I'm afraid. I mostly speak the more common Shroomish, rather than Shroomanic Shreutsch, which made getting votes from the kraut demographic a rather tricky thing."

Shroom, Paul, and Agatha went on like this for a while. Bantering casually while occasionally switching to more serious business - such as Shroomania's, and Shroom's, attempts at establishing conventional relations with the rather scary Japanistan. New Sumatra was just a body of water away from Shroomania, after all, and that problematic place shared a lot of things in common with PeZookia's own problem-places.

Eventually, Shroom had to excuse himself. As he went to the bathroom, King Paul was eventually hounded down and cornered by the Vinish ambassador, and the both of them started talking about FASTA stuff and cheap shitty B-movies and slasher flicks.

When Shroom emerged from the bathroom - he had ditched his wig, his false moustache, and his makeup. He had also traded his ridiculous outfit for more respectable clothes.

With a cocky smirk on his face, Shroom went back over to Paul, Agatha, and the Vinish ambassador - whatshisface. The ambassador ended up getting passed off to an aide, so Shroom went for some cocktails instead.

PeZook · Post by **PeZook** » 2008-08-25 05:53am

Fabowice Voyvodship Police Command

The Japanistani consul was led through the winding corridors of the huge building containing the Voyvodship Police Command responsible for maintaining order in the Fabowice Voyvodship. He was called up urgently from Orena, since the recent raid here uncovered two Japanistani citizens who were kept in sex-slavery.

Comissar Watroba explained the situation to the consul as they walked down the corridor.

"Their names are Ami Ebisawa and Yuki Anami. From what we managed to get out of them, they were both abducted from New Sumatra and brought here by unknown perpetrators. Obviously, we've called you up because, well, technically they're your citizens."

The consul managed not to show his offense, though it was difficult for him.

Who is this man to dictate who is or is not a subject of the Emperor?, he thought, looking at the police comissar crossly.

The comissar didn't notice how he managed to insult the consul gravely, and continued briskly towards the holding cells where both women were being kept - now dressed and fed.

"Anyway, here you go. Let me know if you need any help,and I'll see what we can do."

Royal Congressional Hall, Orena

"Your honor!", the King greeted the Japanistani delegation. He bowed slightly, before exchanging a conservative handshake. Introduction of his wife was met with reserved faces and more bows, as the pleasantries seemed to take a lot of time.

"Please forgive me for mentioning such a small matter on the eve of an important conference, however I have received a report that two Japanistani citizens have been found in PeZookia, after they were abducted from New Sumatra and brought here. I would like to give my full assurances that they shall be returned to the Emperor's fold without delay."

The King knew, of course, that the people of New Sumatra were hardly full citizens of Japanistan, and that the two girls were probably conned into coming here with human smugglers in search of a better life for themselves. Still, the law was the law, and he would have to sacrifice them to build proper relations with Japanistan.

Setzer · Post by **Setzer** » 2008-08-25 05:58am

"A shame. I found the wig rather fetching." Lady Anethga found the Prime Minister at the refreshements table. She'd been there for a while, hoping to find some hors d' ouerves that weren't mushrooms. But now that Shroom was here, she could turn to business. "I was sent by Sovereign Setzer. A pleasure to finally meet you."

Fingolfin_Noldor · Post by **Fingolfin_Noldor** » 2008-08-25 06:50am

Imperial Chronicles

The Exarch from the Emperor's foreign advisory commitee arrived in PeZookia via a chartered Byzantine Airlines aircraft and was met by the Byzantine Ambassador at the airport. "How was your flight sir?" He asked.

"Bumby as ever. It's the rainy season of the year in the Bosphoros," he replied.

"Aye. Have you dealt with the Prime Minister of Shroomania before?"

"Yes, I have. Don't worry, I know how best to deal with.. his eccentrics. I didn't get this position as an Exarch, a representative of the Byzantine Emperor, carrying his seal and word of authority, without knowing how to deal with various heads of states."

"Yes, m'lord."

Lonestar · Post by **Lonestar** » 2008-08-25 07:00am

MESS Conference, Canissa

"It seems like it was not that long ago," Lonestar grumbled as he sat down "That my job description was basically 'run cables and lift heavy things'."

"Well, at least now the only weight on your shoulders is that of an entire nation." Beowulf said. There were some chuckles around the table. King Arik cleared his throat.

"Well, we actually don't have much of a formal itinerary. Matt, do you want to lead off?"

Both Lonestar and Beowulf stared at him. Arik sighed.

"Matt, as in Lonestar."

"Well, I've dodged a bullet with Shepistan." Lonestar said. "But it is clear to me there are huge gaping holes in our combat capabilities. To be blunt, we need a GPS constellation and Communications satellite constellation up….PDQ." Lonestar paused, and fiddled with his pen. "After this conference I'm going to publicly call for a peace treaty between Shepistan and the Old Dominion."

"You're going to surrender?" Wilkins said.

"No, no…you realize that the Old Dominion and Shepistan have fought 4 major wars in the past 100 years, and none of them have ended with a peace treaty? Nothing has ever been actually resolved?"

"I can't imagine there would be terms that either of you would agree on. For example, what if Shepistan demands passage of it's army to re-assert control of East Shepistan?" Arik pointed out.

"Obviously the Old Dominion wouldn't allow that." Lonestar said. "Still, we got to try."

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2008-08-25 07:20am

Shroom sipped some of the expensive Vinish bubbly, savoring the champagne for all its fine effervescence. Then, when he lowered the glass, he found himself before a very attractive lady who went on to compliment the wig he had worn just a while ago.

"The pleasure," replied Shroom after finishing his sparkling wine. "Is all mine, I assure you... Miss?"

"Actually, it's Lady. Lady Melfirth Anethga," she introduced herself and, to her surprise, the Prime Minister gave a very formal-looking bow. "A Prime Minister and a gentleman? There must be more to you than meets the eye, Mister Shroom."

She returned the gesture by doing the curtsy, and then she smiled mischievously. She offered her hand, and the Prime Minister took it and kissed it.

Who said business and pleasure couldn't go together?

"Now," Shroom said, returning Lady Anethga's hand back to her. "How is my pen pal, the Sovereign?"

Setzer · Post by **Setzer** » 2008-08-25 07:41am

"Projecting an image of stoic leadership in a time of crisis, according to the papers. Of course, most of the media moguls are clients of his.
The facts of the matter are that he's barely noticed this missile duel.
He simply used it as an excuse to send a proxy to this conference.
The Sovereign simply loathes travel, even leaving the palace. He's a creature of comfort zones, if there ever was one."

She sipped a bit of the Vinish wine. Rather good. Almost as delightful as the company...

"I believe he's rather excited about this alliance. My fellow aristocrats are as well. They've been falling all over eachother, trying to ingratiate themselves with the Sovereign, hoping they'll get exclusive contracts with the new overseas markets. SPC has been stockpiling petroleum in anticipation, Ryan Industries just opened three new kelp beds, and the ladies of Red Orchid Services have all been taking extra penicillin shots." She giggled a bit at that last remark.

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2008-08-25 07:57am

"Ah... ha," frankly, Prime Minister Shroom was quite taken aback by Lady Anethga's frankness. She had just told him that her leader, her boss Setzer, was manipulating their local media, was slightly xeno(and homo?)phobic, and was in collusion with aristocratic corporate techno-kleptocrats - including those who had whores. Whores. Whores. Whores. "I see."

"As the new Ambassador to Shroomania, I believe honesty is the best policy," she casually continued, as if reading Shroom's so-called mind. She gave him a conspiring wink. "It will certainly help both our parties in avoiding certain... misunderstandings, while allowing for possible joint ventures in the future. If Shroomania is willing, of course, Mr. Prime Minister."

"Well," Shroom adjusted his tie. This Lady Melfirth was certainly quite forward and frank - and truthy. He would have to deal with her carefully. "Let me be frank with you, Miss Anethga."

"Yes?" her mask of mischievousness and facade of flirtatiousness were gone now, replaced by a serious face as she regarded the Sovereign of Shroomania eye-to-eye.

"You can park your brothel boats anywhere in Shroomania, anytime! My government can even help with the protection," Shroom laughed and got a pair of champagne glasses, handing one to Sirnoth's new Ambassador to Shroomania.

Karmic Knight · Post by **Karmic Knight** » 2008-08-25 08:01am

Headlines of the Vinish Press

-MESS Conference Begins in Canissia
Projected topics include Shepistan, Japanistan, the IRT and the UART

-Eutopian Patrol Finds Armed Citizenry, of the Vineyards
In a Backwater Isolator Highland cottage, a Eutopian patrol found seven heavily armed men and women preparing for what appeared to be a military strike at a small fuel depot on the Federated Republic side of the Border.

-Bomb Rocks Thadon, Dozens Injured or Killed in Blast.
An incendiary bomb lit dock eleven of Thadon Port ablaze last night; two people are confirmed dead, with others being treated for burns.

-Senatorial Elections: 75 of the 100 Seats are Up for Election, including Prime Minister.
Following scandal in the Monarchist Party a record number of seats are up for election, much more than the previous record of 32 seats up for election set in 1993. This leads some to believe a massive power shift is brewing, either with the Socialists and Republicans, or possibly the Monarchists and the Anarchists. Either way, analysts say that this election will have something big happen to the political landscape of the Vineyards.

-Protests in Azzan End Peacefully, Socialist Political Candidates Allowed on the Ballot.
Following official recognition of the Vinish People's Socialist Party, VPSP, by the Senatorial Election Committee, the protests in Azzan end peacefully, bringing some good news, with all the scandal and terrorism.

-“Prime” Minister Candidates Martin Black, Socialist/John Mason, Republican/Ester Torgo, Anarchist/Ted Stets, Monarchist
With the incumbent Prime Minister not up for reelection, many candidates are to choose from, but only one will be chosen.

-Vinish Vineyard Carol Maye’s deemed unfit for consumption.
Following a record fiscal quarter for Carol Maye, the Vinish Quality Control Board tested their 2000 vintage, and found trace amounts of highly addictive narcotics mixed with the wine, leading to an investigation that cost Carol Maye their current stock, a government provided Quality Control Expert and massive fines.

Setzer · Post by **Setzer** » 2008-08-25 08:19am

OOC: The Sirnoth media aren't clients in the business sense. They're clients in the Roman sense. It'll be clearer once I post the complete bit on Sirnoth culture.

Lady Melfirth Anethga could see the Prime Minister's eye twitching. And was he drooling slightly? She figured the prostitution prospect had him excited. "He'll be pleased to hear that. He did have a few ideas, mainly regarding the space program. He has his heart set on a space station, which is deliciously ironic, considering the man."

Master_Baerne · Post by **Master_Baerne** » 2008-08-25 08:40am

OOC: I have slightly less than no time on my hands right now, so simply let it be known that I'm at the FUN conference. Assume I'm off hobnobbing with the elite or something. :OOC