Spike Spiegel vs. Frank Castle

[Pablo Sanchez]

The Punisher is transported into the year 2071 in the Bebop universe, and for some reason his first target is Spike Spiegel. He charters a spaceship and starts his hunt.

Who wins?

[Joe]

The rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth Bebop fanboy in me wants to say Spike, but the reasonable part of me wants to say Castle.

So I'd go with a draw.

[Sea Skimmer]

Frank wins, body armor is something Spike really should invest in.

[Bug-Eyed Earl]

Spike= punished.

[Robert Treder]

I love Spike to death, but Frank wins the fight. Spike probably has the edge in hth, but he's unarmored and underarmed. Plus, the Punisher wouldn't be totally out of it in unarmed combat either. He took care of that martial arts expert in the subway in Welcome Back, Frank completely unarmed.

Fortunately for Spike, this is how I see it going:

Spike is walking around Mars looking for info on his latest bountyhead, a mysterious man known only as "Frank C." Frank was spotted by ISP agents in a classified incident a week ago [Frank coming out of the time warp - suspend that disbelief, bitch!]. The ISP agents who tried to detain Frank were defeated, but not killed. He only told them, "I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle." [ ]
As Spike is crossing a busy street, he bends down to pick up a coin. *BANG* A sniper's bullet narrowly misses him. That lucky coin just saved Spike's life! [character shield, of course] Spike quickly enters Bruce Lee mode, and he finds cover before his assailant is able to line up the follow-through.

Frank curses. He drops his rifle and sprints forward, jumping from rooftop to rooftop, dangerously yet skillfully closing the distance between himself and his target. Frank neared the alley which the target ducked into. Time to slow down and prepare for a fight; the target is believed to be extremely dangerous.
Frank hops down onto a fire-escape and kicks in the door. He moves through the building carefully, approaching the alley. Looking out a window, he spots his target, who is using some sort of communications device, and has a pistol drawn. Frank dives out of the second story window and lets the .45 subsonic from his Mac 10 do the talking for a second and a half.

Spike gracefully evades as soon as he sees his assailant leap from out the window about 25 feet away. His dive is fortuitous -- at first. The thirtieth bullet out of his assailant's weapon strikes spike in the torso, but it is only a glancing hit to his right side. Spike nevertheless does not make his planned landing, instead hitting the ground with a thud.

Frank fluidly reaches into his jacket and presents two Tula Tokarev 33s. Just as he is about to fire them at his downed opponent, the target spins and stands in a surprisingly effortless motion. Spike fires his weapon at Frank, and Frank rolls to the right, taking cover behind some trash bins.

Spike smashes through a door, seeking refuge wherever he can find it. He finds himself in a busy restaurant kitchen. It's not long before Frank is in the room as well, and several rounds from his Soviet pistols try to find their target, but instead ricochet off of cookware. No bystanders are harmed, naturally.

Frank watches as his target bursts through the double-doors into the restaurant's dining area. "Marvelous," Frank mutters, "full of people." Still on the move, he holsters his pistols in favor of his trusty Beretta 92FS. Frank slides into the dining room, and is greeted by a hail of bullets from Spike. Frank dives to the side, but not before catching a bullet inbetween the eyes on his chest. His armor does its job.

Spike scrambles upstairs and into a hallway. He finds the stairs to the roof, and takes them. He makes it to the roof, only to see his assailant climb onto the roof from the street. It's a quickdraw, and Spike catches a bullet in the side of the gut and one in the thigh from Frank's twin CZ-75s, but not before Spike manages to sharpshoot the pistols out of Frank's hands. The wounded Spike lunges at Frank.

Though Frank is armored and his target is handicapped, Frank is astonished by Spike's effectiveness at hand-to-hand. Within seconds, the tables have turned, and Frank is losing the battle. But he's not without his teeth. Frank surprises Spike with his Beretta Tomcat holdout pistol. The surprise is enough, and he puts a round in Spike's chest. He is literally a second away from ending Spike's life when he's suddenly hit by a blast of wind.

The Red Tail hovers above the two fighting men, and lets off a careful blast of machinegun fire. Frank is tossed by the blast, and he falls off the edge of the building. He manages to save himself, of course, and retreats as Spike is rescued and taken in for repairs.

As Frank tends to his wounds, he thinks about how he will not make the same mistakes twice. And then all of the sudden he remembers: the guy he was after was named Vicious, not Spike!


Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. I thought of it just now, so forgive its crappiness.

[Jason von Evil]

Amazing, Shep and Stormy haven't gotten into this yet.