Game of Thrones Season 3: A Storm of Swords (No Spoilers)

[Spoonist]

Spoilers for future episodes are not spoilers because they are official from HBO?

[The Yosemite Bear]

trailers ALWAYS SPOIL

oh andSpoiler

Thor is asking Loki for help]

see trailers always spoil

[Elfdart]

Spoilers for future episodes are not spoilers because they are official from HBO?

It was a clip they showed right before the episode: "Coming up next on HBO... Game of Thrones".

Last night's episode did a great job of setting the stage for a truckload of shit to hit an enormous fan, while being interesting enough in its own right. A few observations:

1) Red Priests come in different alignments. Thoros is smug as hell, but is otherwise a cool dude who can bring back the dead -while Melissandre wants royal blood if Stannis is ever going to bone her again.


Tempting, no?

I doubt she means Joffrey's blood because if Stannis could get that he wouldn't need her skeleton powers. She's up to something truly sinister: She already hinted last season that he should bump off his wife, but after last night it's pretty clear she wants the blood of his daughter. If he tries that, I'm done with pulling for him.

2) Berrick is a Lawful Good Jason Voorhees.

3) Pulling for the Starks is like pulling for a team coached by Norv Turner. Just when you think they're going to succeed...



Leaving those two Lannister kids where Karstark could kill them was fucking stupid. Clearly they weren't as valuable to Tywin as Sansa is to Robb but they're still hostages and Karstark doesn't open his mouth without saying how much he wants payback against the Lannisters for killing his boys. Beheading the old man was a pathetic repeat of Theon's beheading of the old man in Winterfell.

4) Roose Bolton seems awfully chummy with Jamie. I thought for a moment that he might have gone on the take from Tywin (maybe to set himself up as lord of the North), except Tywin is setting up Tyrion to take over Winterfell as Sansa's husband. Maybe he's hoping for a bag of gold or maybe he's loyal to Robb but hedging his bets in case Robb loses.

5) While my girlfriend always wanted Jon and Ygritte to go at it (last season she was wondering if he might be gay since he didn't try to kiss her), she found the oral sex bit highly implausible ("He's a virgin who just happens to be good at it? "). She's also of the opinion that Jamie and Brienne should hook up. She was quite angry that the flashback at the beginning of this episode reminded everyone that Jorah is one of Varys' spies, since she's convinced Danerys should have already slept with him (Jorah, not Varys) -a common opinion among most of the female viewers I know. Needless to say, my SO's favorite book/movie is Emma. When I tried to point out that Game of Thrones isn't a soap opera, her response ("Who are you kidding?") left me feeling whipped.

Great episode that makes me think the next ones will turn everything up to 11.

[Vympel]

It was a clip they showed right before the episode: "Coming up next on HBO... Game of Thrones".

Last night's episode did a great job of setting the stage for a truckload of shit to hit an enormous fan, while being interesting enough in its own right. A few observations:

1) Red Priests come in different alignments. Thoros is smug as hell, but is otherwise a cool dude who can bring back the dead -while Melissandre wants royal blood if Stannis is ever going to bone her again.


Tempting, no?

From the episode where she spoke about it to him, I don't think its so much a matter of her needing royal blood to bone Stannis, as needing another "subject" to make a shadow assassin. Either the act of fucking her and producing that shadow caused his "fires to ebb low", or his current rock-bottom morale, or a combination, have made him unsuitable to do that again currently.

I doubt she means Joffrey's blood because if Stannis could get that he wouldn't need her skeleton powers. She's up to something truly sinister: She already hinted last season that he should bump off his wife, but after last night it's pretty clear she wants the blood of his daughter. If he tries that, I'm done with pulling for him.

Joffrey isn't even royal blood, technically

3) Pulling for the Starks is like pulling for a team coached by Norv Turner. Just when you think they're going to succeed...



Leaving those two Lannister kids where Karstark could kill them was fucking stupid. Clearly they weren't as valuable to Tywin as Sansa is to Robb but they're still hostages and Karstark doesn't open his mouth without saying how much he wants payback against the Lannisters for killing his boys. Beheading the old man was a pathetic repeat of Theon's beheading of the old man in Winterfell.

I'm going to give Robb a pass on that one - killing Tully men and busting into a cell to murder two young boys is an insane act, even for someone as bitter and irrational as Lord Karstark.

5) While my girlfriend always wanted Jon and Ygritte to go at it (last season she was wondering if he might be gay since he didn't try to kiss her), she found the oral sex bit highly implausible ("He's a virgin who just happens to be good at it? "). She's also of the opinion that Jamie and Brienne should hook up. She was quite angry that the flashback at the beginning of this episode reminded everyone that Jorah is one of Varys' spies, since she's convinced Danerys should have already slept with him (Jorah, not Varys) -a common opinion among most of the female viewers I know. Needless to say, my SO's favorite book/movie is Emma. When I tried to point out that Game of Thrones isn't a soap opera, her response ("Who are you kidding?") left me feeling whipped.

Great episode that makes me think the next ones will turn everything up to 11.

The Jon/Ygritte thing was more welcome than the "Podrick's sexual prowess" thing, which just baffles me as to its relevance. It was amusing and lighthearted, yes, but I can't help but think more time could've been spent on something more plot critical.

[Scrib]

Joffrey isn't even royal blood, technically

Does it even matter? At times I wonder if Melisandre's powers work on Varys' principles:i.e. whoever people follow is a king. (that or it's a placebo effect and that requirement only exists in her head) Dany would certainly argue that Stannis is not a king.

[Elfdart]

The Young Turks have a weekly, spoiler-free (if you ignore the fucktards in the comments section) discussion panel and it's pretty funny:



Cenk: "You can't kill your gay brother with a vaj monster"

Jezebel (the site that did the GoT Fuck/Marry/Kill game) also has great weekly commentary on the series (called Game of Boners) and it's also funny:

God, let Sansa have her pretty gay husband already.

[Ralin]

Does it even matter? At times I wonder if Melisandre's powers work on Varys' principles:i.e. whoever people follow is a king. (that or it's a placebo effect and that requirement only exists in her head) Dany would certainly argue that Stannis is not a king.

Or Joffery's blood became royal the same way Robert's did: By having the previous person to sit on the Iron Throne killed and claiming it for himself.

[TheHammer]

Spoilers for future episodes are not spoilers because they are official from HBO?

It was a clip they showed right before the episode: "Coming up next on HBO... Game of Thrones".

Last night's episode did a great job of setting the stage for a truckload of shit to hit an enormous fan, while being interesting enough in its own right. A few observations:

1) Red Priests come in different alignments. Thoros is smug as hell, but is otherwise a cool dude who can bring back the dead -while Melissandre wants royal blood if Stannis is ever going to bone her again.

Her statement about needing the "blood of a king" is indeed rather ambiguous. What makes someone a king? Is it the title, or is there something special about the Baratheon's blood? (More on that later)

I doubt she means Joffrey's blood because if Stannis could get that he wouldn't need her skeleton powers. She's up to something truly sinister: She already hinted last season that he should bump off his wife, but after last night it's pretty clear she wants the blood of his daughter. If he tries that, I'm done with pulling for him.

I'd disagree with that statement... If Melisandre wanted the daughter's blood, there would be no reason for her to leave Dragonstone. Specifically, she told Stannis that "there are others with his blood", presumably meaning those descended from the Baratheon line. Pretty sure Renly never boned any women given he couldn't get it up for Margery. Robert however had no such problem, and while Joffrey went to great lengths to kill many of his bastards, we know that at least one of them - who is presently in the company of fellow fire priest Thoros - survived...

2) Berrick is a Lawful Good Jason Voorhees.

He has potential to be an interesting character.

3) Pulling for the Starks is like pulling for a team coached by Norv Turner. Just when you think they're going to succeed...



Leaving those two Lannister kids where Karstark could kill them was fucking stupid. Clearly they weren't as valuable to Tywin as Sansa is to Robb but they're still hostages and Karstark doesn't open his mouth without saying how much he wants payback against the Lannisters for killing his boys. Beheading the old man was a pathetic repeat of Theon's beheading of the old man in Winterfell.

Its not as though he left Karstark in charge of babysitting them. Hard to fault him for not predicting Karstark would kill the guards and then murder two young boys. But Robb definitely made a poor move beheading Kalstark, whether he deserved it or not. It was clear they were invoking the Theon beheading as well, even playing the same music.

4) Roose Bolton seems awfully chummy with Jamie. I thought for a moment that he might have gone on the take from Tywin (maybe to set himself up as lord of the North), except Tywin is setting up Tyrion to take over Winterfell as Sansa's husband. Maybe he's hoping for a bag of gold or maybe he's loyal to Robb but hedging his bets in case Robb loses.

I'm not completely clear on the hierarchy, but it seems that the higher lords tend to treat the other higher lords with more respect. Perhaps realizing they might be on the wrong end of such an encounter themselves in the future.

5) While my girlfriend always wanted Jon and Ygritte to go at it (last season she was wondering if he might be gay since he didn't try to kiss her), she found the oral sex bit highly implausible ("He's a virgin who just happens to be good at it? "). She's also of the opinion that Jamie and Brienne should hook up. She was quite angry that the flashback at the beginning of this episode reminded everyone that Jorah is one of Varys' spies, since she's convinced Danerys should have already slept with him (Jorah, not Varys) -a common opinion among most of the female viewers I know. Needless to say, my SO's favorite book/movie is Emma. When I tried to point out that Game of Thrones isn't a soap opera, her response ("Who are you kidding?") left me feeling whipped.

Great episode that makes me think the next ones will turn everything up to 11.

One has to wonder if Jorah's initial attempt at betraying Daenarys will come back to haunt him. He played it off quite nicely acting surprised when Selmy told him of the plot, obviously hoping the old man didn't know more of how it came to be in the first place. And yeah it Seems fairly obvious that there is some sexual tension there between Jamie and Brienne lol.

[Vympel]

The Young Turks have a weekly, spoiler-free (if you ignore the fucktards in the comments section) discussion panel and it's pretty funny:

Yeah, that's definitely my favorite discussion panel about GOT. I wouldn't have known about it if I didn't watch TYT.

[Elfdart]

I have always suspected that Shae is a spy for either Tywin or Littlefinger or both. Daddy Lannister knows his son well enough to know that by telling him NOT to take her to King's Landing there's a good chance Tyrion will -and that's exactly what he does.

I got even more suspicious when Shae was caught by the Hound last season trying to help Sansa cover up her first period. Surely she would have been punished severely and/or removed from Sansa's household but next thing you know she's right back at work like nothing happened.

This week's episode makes me almost certain Shae is a plant by Tywin or The Pimp: Ros warns Shae and Varys about what the Pimp is up to. Shae in turn tells Tyrion. So unless Ros was spied upon off-screen, the only way Littlefinger would have known Ros tipped off Varys is if Shae told him. Tyrion and Varys wouldn't have done it. It wouldn't surprise me if she was tipping off Littlefinger or Tywin all along.

[Vympel]

I have always suspected that Shae is a spy for either Tywin or Littlefinger or both. Daddy Lannister knows his son well enough to know that by telling him NOT to take her to King's Landing there's a good chance Tyrion will -and that's exactly what he does.

I got even more suspicious when Shae was caught by the Hound last season trying to help Sansa cover up her first period. Surely she would have been punished severely and/or removed from Sansa's household but next thing you know she's right back at work like nothing happened.

This week's episode makes me almost certain Shae is a plant by Tywin or The Pimp: Ros warns Shae and Varys about what the Pimp is up to. Shae in turn tells Tyrion. So unless Ros was spied upon off-screen, the only way Littlefinger would have known Ros tipped off Varys is if Shae told him. Tyrion and Varys wouldn't have done it. It wouldn't surprise me if she was tipping off Littlefinger or Tywin all along.

That's quite brilliant.

[TheHammer]

I have always suspected that Shae is a spy for either Tywin or Littlefinger or both. Daddy Lannister knows his son well enough to know that by telling him NOT to take her to King's Landing there's a good chance Tyrion will -and that's exactly what he does.

I got even more suspicious when Shae was caught by the Hound last season trying to help Sansa cover up her first period. Surely she would have been punished severely and/or removed from Sansa's household but next thing you know she's right back at work like nothing happened.

This week's episode makes me almost certain Shae is a plant by Tywin or The Pimp: Ros warns Shae and Varys about what the Pimp is up to. Shae in turn tells Tyrion. So unless Ros was spied upon off-screen, the only way Littlefinger would have known Ros tipped off Varys is if Shae told him. Tyrion and Varys wouldn't have done it. It wouldn't surprise me if she was tipping off Littlefinger or Tywin all along.

That definitely would be quite a twist either way. A deep cover spy for Littlefinger? I suppose that is also possible considering his role as the kingpimp of the trade if you will, but would make less sense given how she came into the fold. Tyrion was of little note when she first showed up in his life. It would certainly have made sense once he was made hand of the king in Tywins stead, but it certainly wouldn't have been something I think ANYONE could have seen coming in advance. And once he was effectively stripped of all power, for her to continue to stick around as a spy for littlefinger again wouldn't make a lot of sense, unless that was as close to the Lannisters as he felt he could get even if it was the least regarded of Tywin's children.

The working for Tywin possibility is certainly intriguing. Considering they originally me at Tywins camp, it would certainly seem possible that she was working for him. After all, Tywin started a war to get Tyrion back, perhaps he decided it was time to keep a closer eye on him than he had in the past and knew exactly the weakness of Tyrion's to exploit. It would certainly be a very Tywin thing to do. The only hiccup is that as I recall, she was found by Bronn and brought to Tyrion, which would mean he is in on it, or was manipulated by Tywin specifically into bringing her. It will be interesting to see how that plays out if your suspicions are correct. Considering it is now out in the open that he is to be betrothed to Sansa, I suspect we will be able to see the truth by her reaction. If she's the proffesional you think she is, then she will no doubt continue to act as Sansa's handmaiden without much fuss in her capacity as a spy for Tywin. If she acts jealous and tries to undermine the whole thing, then she's definitely not working for Tywin.

As to Ros specifically, there could be any number of ways as to how Littlefinger could have discovered her. Perhaps he knew for some time that she had been "turned" but was content to use that to feed mis-information to her, perhaps the manifest being a slip up on his part and he decided that it was more trouble than it was worth. Or its possible that she was spied upon off screen or otherwise gave herself away. I don't recall her specifically saying anything to Shae about the plans for Sansa - she simply said to "watch out for her with him". When she laid out the specifics regarding the manifest of Littlefinger's ship that really gave away littlefingers plans, it was only to Varys unless I'm misremembering.

[Elfdart]

A few thoughts about last night's episode:

1) Robb, Balon and Joffrey are goners, probably in the next two episodes. Not only did Stannis break out Chekov's gun voodoo leeches, but because (a) Robb and his wife are just too cute and lovey-dovey a couple for them not to get bumped off (b) Balon is a disposable character anyway, and (c) Joffrey has not only richly deserved a gruesome death, but frankly his shtick is getting old and he's another character who has outlived his usefulness.

Robb will probably get killed by some renegade Karstark henchmen miffed over the beheading a few episodes ago. Balon, who gives a shit? Joffrey will probably try to rape Sansa and die in the attempt. Either Sansa kills him by fluke or Tyrion, Bronn or possibly Shae does the deed. Personally, I'd rather he was somehow handed over to [redacted by Vympel], given a slow-burning poison, or he accidentally shot himself in the pecker with that crossbow of his.

2) Ygritte is also more than likely a goner. Like Robb & Talisa, Jon & Ygritte are too cute a couple. Jon will probably end up in a "Don't make me shoot you!" scene, or one of the surviving Crows from Craster's house sees Jon among the Wildlings, thinks he's their prisoner, tries to rescue him and kills the guard (i.e. Ygritte).

3) If they kill Gendry, I will have to sleep on the couch. I was almost banished last night because it looked like he was going to get killed by the witch. And because I said the witch had amazing tits.

4) Why didn't Loras just push Queen Bitch over the balcony?

5) Is George Martin trying to set up a 30s-style love triangle with Danerys, Jorah and Fabio?

EDIT: removed a spoiler from your post, Vym

[Scrib]

3) If they kill Gendry, I will have to sleep on the couch. I was almost banished last night because it looked like he was going to get killed by the witch. And because I said the witch had amazing tits.

You know, I have to say that just for a moment, when Melisandre was giving Gendry the full R'hllor treatment I wondered how the Red Priests had failed to convert Robert given their god's...lax attitude towards sex with his priests (compare to the Silent Sisters)

Then... she busts out the leeches. Which I could see men living wit-oh, she's putting them there? Oh God! Why? Seven save us!

[Ralin]

I sort of doubt any of that is formally sanctioned by whatever organization is in chsrge of the red priests.

[Havok]

Geezuz... you fat fuck... pick up the fucking... gah!!

[Elfdart]

Geezuz... you fat fuck... pick up the fucking... gah!!

Sam is about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop.

[Scrib]

Geezuz... you fat fuck... pick up the fucking... gah!!

Sam is about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop.

Honestly at this point I'm beginning to think Alliser Thorne was right to try to beat some bravery into him . Yes, we all feel sorry for him and find it barbaric but he either needed to grow some balls or collapse, so that everyone would know that the last place he should be is the battlefield or any place he can even remotely encounter stress.

I sort of doubt any of that is formally sanctioned by whatever organization is in chsrge of the red priests.

Well, technically the RP Handbook simply states that certain sexual acts are sanctioned when humankind is at risk, generally taken to mean an existential threat. However the phrasing is unclear, so Red Priests can prescribe it as they please, from killing kings to preventing prostate cancer.

On a serious note though: I doubt that they really give a shit. It works doesn't it?

[Crown]

Geezuz... you fat fuck... pick up the fucking... gah!!

Sam is about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop.

It's kinda sad, but when I saw that I just had Gollum's voice in my head; 'Stupid FAT Hobbit!'

[Ultonius]

You know, I have to say that just for a moment, when Melisandre was giving Gendry the full R'hllor treatment I wondered how the Red Priests had failed to convert Robert given their god's...lax attitude towards sex with his priests (compare to the Silent Sisters)

I don't think Thoros was Robert's type.

[The Yosemite Bear]

Someone's response earlier has me left with Boondock Saints flashbacks...

so what would Westeroes do with Reedus, Flannery and Connoly?

[fgalkin]

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

[Ralin]

Truthfully, Daario's appearance is working better than I thought it would.

[Mr Bean]

Truthfully, Daario's appearance is working better than I thought it would.

Come on give him something to make him look different. No beard and crazy clothes? Dark blue hair, easy to do. Just keep him the same dye his hair blue. Why? Because it lets him stand apart. Right now he looks like a beardless northerner.

There have been plenty of fan versions out there most depicting him like some sort of Captain Morgan/Jack Sparrow type because that's how he's written.

If he looked like Thisor this He'd stand out so much better.

Tyrosh thing is colored hair, every free city gets a thing to help tell them apart for the reader and something obvious (Everyone in Tyrosh colors their hair crazy anime colors) helps set them apart and make them memorable. If you see a dozen pink haired swordsman six episodes form now... oh those are Tyroshi.

[Scrib]

Truthfully, Daario's appearance is working better than I thought it would.

Same here.

Come on give him something to make him look different. No beard and crazy clothes? Dark blue hair, easy to do. Just keep him the same dye his hair blue. Why? Because it lets him stand apart. Right now he looks like a beardless northerner.

There's little to gain from making him look ludicrous to modern audiences and then explaining why he doesn't look ludicrous to Dany. Even in the book forums the culture gap isn't a satisfying explanation for some and people still think he's a cartoon.