StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Look what I found at Lycos (apparently, lifted from Reuters):

Linky

True, it looks like yet another study made by interpreting statistics...nevertheless:

Save yourself from cancer! Masturbate NOW!

If that is true then no one on this board is going to get cancer

But how can we touch ourselves at night AND avoid cancer? A PARADOX!!!

*universe impoldes*

But....won't we go blind and get hairy palms? I don't know if its a fair trade off.

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:But how can we touch ourselves at night AND avoid cancer? A PARADOX!!!

*universe impoldes*

I don't think I get this...

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:But how can we touch ourselves at night AND avoid cancer? A PARADOX!!!

*universe impoldes*

Do what I do, and have someone else touch you at night. This wonderful concept is known as sex.

aerius wrote:

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:But how can we touch ourselves at night AND avoid cancer? A PARADOX!!!

*universe impoldes*

Do what I do, and have someone else touch you at night. This wonderful concept is known as sex.

I'm all about someone else touching me

I think I'd rather get cancer than go blind.

Stravo wrote:But....won't we go blind and get hairy palms? I don't know if its a fair trade off.

That's only if you spank it to scrabled porn. That is from a study by the Reagan Admin. I'm serious.

I have never seen or heard of hairy palms.

Admiral Johnason wrote:That's only if you spank it to scrabled porn. That is from a study by the Reagan Admin. I'm serious.

Both Nixon and Reagan commisioned studies on sex and sexuality and their affects on human psychology and physiology. Result? Healthy as fuck. Reagan didn't like the idea tho, and did his damndest to hurt people. Nixon just said "feh.. whatever."

Damn, I can no longer say that you get cancer because you touch yourself.

Im safe.

See? Masturbation is good for more than the soul

Demiurge wrote:I think I'd rather get cancer than go blind.

To quote a wise man:

I'll do it until I need glasses.

Darth Gojira wrote:See? Masturbation is good for more than the soul

And the body and mind!

Well if an apple a day keep the doctor away,then masturbating once a day keep prostate cancer away.

The lifespan of the board members (indeed, most of the internet) just shot up

And anyone with large ammounts of KY will make a killing off of this place.

*makes an emergency trip to the nearest adult store*

Oh you say it like you weren't gonna masterbait regardless of it being good for your health or not

*looks at data, then combines it with STD-preventing lack of sex*

I am now officially immortal.

Gandalf wrote:The lifespan of the board members (indeed, most of the internet) just shot up

Just "shot" up? Perfect phrasing.

Personally, I have been wacking it since I was seven (sometimes three or four times a day). I am going to have great prostrate health, since it has been 31 years since I started (you do the math).

Wacka - Wacka - Wacka. Love it.

Gee, now we need to establish some HEALTH MEETINGS (new word for circle jerks), where we can sit around as a group and support each other in our quest for the best of prostrate health.

Pablo Sanchez wrote:*looks at data, then combines it with STD-preventing lack of sex*

I am now officially immortal.

What about heart trouble?

Admiral Johnason wrote:

Pablo Sanchez wrote:*looks at data, then combines it with STD-preventing lack of sex*

I am now officially immortal.

What about heart trouble?

Fool, masturbation is exercise too. Work off that cholesterol!

Exonerate wrote:

Admiral Johnason wrote:

Pablo Sanchez wrote:*looks at data, then combines it with STD-preventing lack of sex*

I am now officially immortal.

What about heart trouble?

Fool, masturbation is exercise too. Work off that cholesterol!

But you can only take things "so far"...