The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

UF: Stories written by users, both fanfics and original.

Moderator: LadyTevar

User avatar
U.P. Cinnabar
Sith Devotee
Posts: 3135
Joined: 2016-02-05 08:11pm
Location: Aboard the RCS Princess Cecile

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-07-28 03:05pm

Eternal_Freedom wrote:
2018-07-26 07:30pm
On an unrelated note, I've been having fun updating the TVTropes page with such delightful entries as More Dakka and One-Hit Kill. Nerdism levels are approaching ten to the twelth power.
You mean they're over 9,000, don't you?

Light carrier names...well, assault carrier names: Carinae, Vela, Canis Major, Can is Minor, Auriga, Leo,, Libra,, Sagittarius, Capricornus, Argo Navis, Lepus, Lupus, Ursa Minor.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

User avatar
Eternal_Freedom
Castellan
Posts: 9431
Joined: 2010-03-09 02:16pm
Location: Bound in a nutshell

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by Eternal_Freedom » 2018-07-28 03:20pm

Let me guess...the UNSC's Constellation class :D
Baltar: "I don't want to miss a moment of the last Battlestar's destruction!"
Centurion: "Sir, I really think you should look at the other Battlestar."
Baltar: "What are you babbling about other...it's impossible!"
Centurion: "No. It is a Battlestar."

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.

User avatar
U.P. Cinnabar
Sith Devotee
Posts: 3135
Joined: 2016-02-05 08:11pm
Location: Aboard the RCS Princess Cecile

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-07-28 05:14pm

Orion-class, which were the lightest UNSC carriers during the war. Since Orion is a constellation I figured the UN Spacy would at least name some of them after current or former constellations, even if three of them are named after the same asterism(I refuse to name a warship Puppis), allowing for at least 88 machines.

And, at least one named Guardian.

(Master Of Orion reference that)
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

User avatar
Eternal_Freedom
Castellan
Posts: 9431
Joined: 2010-03-09 02:16pm
Location: Bound in a nutshell

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by Eternal_Freedom » 2018-07-28 05:17pm

Amusingly, this would give all three human powers (Kobolians, Tau'ri and UNSC) have major ship classes and/or vessels named for constellations.
Baltar: "I don't want to miss a moment of the last Battlestar's destruction!"
Centurion: "Sir, I really think you should look at the other Battlestar."
Baltar: "What are you babbling about other...it's impossible!"
Centurion: "No. It is a Battlestar."

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.

User avatar
U.P. Cinnabar
Sith Devotee
Posts: 3135
Joined: 2016-02-05 08:11pm
Location: Aboard the RCS Princess Cecile

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-07-28 06:36pm

Didn't think about that. Damn.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

User avatar
Eternal_Freedom
Castellan
Posts: 9431
Joined: 2010-03-09 02:16pm
Location: Bound in a nutshell

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by Eternal_Freedom » 2018-07-28 06:41pm

I had figured that the UNSC "light" carriers would have historical carrier names - the two that were part of Stanforth's fleet were the Hiryu and the Langley, I have provisionally picked the Argus, Hermes and Centaur as well.
Baltar: "I don't want to miss a moment of the last Battlestar's destruction!"
Centurion: "Sir, I really think you should look at the other Battlestar."
Baltar: "What are you babbling about other...it's impossible!"
Centurion: "No. It is a Battlestar."

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.

User avatar
U.P. Cinnabar
Sith Devotee
Posts: 3135
Joined: 2016-02-05 08:11pm
Location: Aboard the RCS Princess Cecile

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-07-28 06:53pm

Eagle, Albion,, Independence,, Princeton, Dokdo,, Furious, Glorious, Courageous , Vikrant, Admiral Kunetszov, Moskva, Kiev, San Jacinto, Kearsarge, Izumo,, Ise, Hyuga, Invincible, Hermes, Bulwark, Sir J.F. Woodward, Ticonderoga,, Zuikaku,, Shokaku, Melbourne.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

User avatar
Eternal_Freedom
Castellan
Posts: 9431
Joined: 2010-03-09 02:16pm
Location: Bound in a nutshell

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by Eternal_Freedom » 2018-07-28 07:10pm

Already got Hermes. And naming a ship Invincible is just asking for trouble...especially since I'm the author.
Baltar: "I don't want to miss a moment of the last Battlestar's destruction!"
Centurion: "Sir, I really think you should look at the other Battlestar."
Baltar: "What are you babbling about other...it's impossible!"
Centurion: "No. It is a Battlestar."

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.

User avatar
U.P. Cinnabar
Sith Devotee
Posts: 3135
Joined: 2016-02-05 08:11pm
Location: Aboard the RCS Princess Cecile

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-07-28 10:02pm

The last Invincible made it all the way to the breakers. Apparently, It's a better carrier name than a battle cruiser one.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

User avatar
Eternal_Freedom
Castellan
Posts: 9431
Joined: 2010-03-09 02:16pm
Location: Bound in a nutshell

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by Eternal_Freedom » 2018-07-29 12:41pm

This is true, but still, carries a bad legacy...and you know what I'm like with things going boom in my stories.
Baltar: "I don't want to miss a moment of the last Battlestar's destruction!"
Centurion: "Sir, I really think you should look at the other Battlestar."
Baltar: "What are you babbling about other...it's impossible!"
Centurion: "No. It is a Battlestar."

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.

User avatar
U.P. Cinnabar
Sith Devotee
Posts: 3135
Joined: 2016-02-05 08:11pm
Location: Aboard the RCS Princess Cecile

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-07-29 12:57pm

Fair enough. How about River Of Stars as an alternate carrier name(given you already have an Eridanus)? Also, Indefatigable, as I believe I suggested Indomitable elsewhere in this thread.

Also Cabot, Charger, and Biter.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

User avatar
Eternal_Freedom
Castellan
Posts: 9431
Joined: 2010-03-09 02:16pm
Location: Bound in a nutshell

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by Eternal_Freedom » 2018-07-29 01:12pm

Indefatigable, while I love the name, also has the same issue as Invincible - in that the battlecruiser version went kaboom.
Baltar: "I don't want to miss a moment of the last Battlestar's destruction!"
Centurion: "Sir, I really think you should look at the other Battlestar."
Baltar: "What are you babbling about other...it's impossible!"
Centurion: "No. It is a Battlestar."

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.

User avatar
U.P. Cinnabar
Sith Devotee
Posts: 3135
Joined: 2016-02-05 08:11pm
Location: Aboard the RCS Princess Cecile

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-07-29 02:09pm

Fuck, I'm just batting 1,000, aren't I? Is there any British Lend Lease Essex- class carrier that wasn't named after an exploding battlecruiser?!
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

User avatar
Eternal_Freedom
Castellan
Posts: 9431
Joined: 2010-03-09 02:16pm
Location: Bound in a nutshell

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by Eternal_Freedom » 2018-07-29 02:19pm

I think it was just Invincible and Indefatigable - the other exploding battlecruisers were Queen Mary and Hood.
Baltar: "I don't want to miss a moment of the last Battlestar's destruction!"
Centurion: "Sir, I really think you should look at the other Battlestar."
Baltar: "What are you babbling about other...it's impossible!"
Centurion: "No. It is a Battlestar."

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.

User avatar
Eternal_Freedom
Castellan
Posts: 9431
Joined: 2010-03-09 02:16pm
Location: Bound in a nutshell

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by Eternal_Freedom » 2018-08-20 01:53pm

I know it's been a while, but I would like to reassure everyone that I am in fact still working on this, I've just been on holiday and distracted by little things like nephews, Labradors, and some beautifully clear skies. I've got another chapter mostly done, and there should be only one more after that to close out Act Three and then Act Four can begin, the Covenant assault on Reach, which will be epic. And bloody.

I'm also trying to flesh out what the "greater evil" will be. I know I said I wouldn;t but I keep working plot elements in and I need it to be something epic. My brother suggested I use the Monolith-builders from the Space Odyssey series, as they have both some impressive observed tech and only some vague details about their nature/motivations, which would let me flesh them out to my taste.

I am also contemplating using the Daleks or possibly the Sontarans from Doctor Who. Still mulling those options over.
Baltar: "I don't want to miss a moment of the last Battlestar's destruction!"
Centurion: "Sir, I really think you should look at the other Battlestar."
Baltar: "What are you babbling about other...it's impossible!"
Centurion: "No. It is a Battlestar."

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.

DKeith2011
Youngling
Posts: 85
Joined: 2010-04-22 01:43am

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by DKeith2011 » 2018-08-20 06:49pm

The Monolith builders could be interesting. What about something similar to the Shadows from Babylon 5?

User avatar
Eternal_Freedom
Castellan
Posts: 9431
Joined: 2010-03-09 02:16pm
Location: Bound in a nutshell

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by Eternal_Freedom » 2018-08-21 12:50pm

There may be some influences from them in there, but I've slightly boxed myself in by saying that "it" was responsible for both creating the Wraith and the Flood and then intefering with the the Furling/Forerunner return to the Haloverse, killing them all, and corrupting the Asgard genetic database, effectively killing them as well.

So basically it needs to be a species that either works on very long timescales (at least 12,000 years just for the stuff in the main/Terran universe, 100,000 or more years for the Flood) or has some limited time-travel abilities, but can't use them to interfere directly with the Terrans and the Tau'ri.

That's one reason why I pondered the Daleks - they do have time travel but presumably they are wary of drawing notice from the Time Lords for doing too much. This would be pre-Time War Daleks at any rate, maybe as part of their preparations for that war.
Baltar: "I don't want to miss a moment of the last Battlestar's destruction!"
Centurion: "Sir, I really think you should look at the other Battlestar."
Baltar: "What are you babbling about other...it's impossible!"
Centurion: "No. It is a Battlestar."

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.

Tandrax218
Padawan Learner
Posts: 183
Joined: 2009-12-19 09:47am

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by Tandrax218 » 2018-08-21 04:36pm

what about the Xeelee ??

User avatar
Eternal_Freedom
Castellan
Posts: 9431
Joined: 2010-03-09 02:16pm
Location: Bound in a nutshell

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by Eternal_Freedom » 2018-08-21 05:16pm

I'm not familiar enough to use them. Perhaps the Magog and the Spirit of the Abyss might be worth another thought. Ideally though I need an enemy that can be actual characters for POV chapters, like I've done with Ba'al, the Cylons, the Wraith and the Covenant.
Baltar: "I don't want to miss a moment of the last Battlestar's destruction!"
Centurion: "Sir, I really think you should look at the other Battlestar."
Baltar: "What are you babbling about other...it's impossible!"
Centurion: "No. It is a Battlestar."

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.

DKeith2011
Youngling
Posts: 85
Joined: 2010-04-22 01:43am

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by DKeith2011 » 2018-08-21 08:59pm

Maybe delve into the original BSG and use Count Iblis and the Ship of Light?

Shouldn't be too hard to make them some kind of extra-dimensional force beyond even the Ascended playing a long game with the lower dimensions.

jayel
Redshirt
Posts: 13
Joined: 2011-12-03 08:45pm

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by jayel » 2018-08-21 10:49pm

no a good SCI-FI story shouldn't need supernatural BS

fnord
Jedi Knight
Posts: 835
Joined: 2005-09-18 08:09am
Location: You're not cleared for that

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by fnord » 2018-08-21 11:17pm

And any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.

Given how good the writing, etc has been, the story takes as long as it takes. Especially for those of us who have been reading since April 2016.

I personally would be wary of using a Greater Scope Villain capable of even semi-controlled time travel against a mob that can't (even under the constraints you've listed) - but it's your story, we're just throwing bits at you.
A mad person thinks there's a gateway to hell in his basement. A mad genius builds one and turns it on. - CaptainChewbacca

DKeith2011
Youngling
Posts: 85
Joined: 2010-04-22 01:43am

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by DKeith2011 » 2018-08-22 01:22am

They wouldn't be have to be supernatural any more than the Ascended are, they just have to be as far beyond the Ascended as the Ascended are beyond mortals.

User avatar
Eternal_Freedom
Castellan
Posts: 9431
Joined: 2010-03-09 02:16pm
Location: Bound in a nutshell

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by Eternal_Freedom » 2018-08-22 12:52pm

Some good points. I did make mention of another group of Ascended in a distant galaxy that took notice of the MW, Pegasus and Ida while the other Ascended were busy containing the false vacuum collapse. I'd intended them to be the Ori, and indeed their Priors are turning up, but using Iblis would be...intriguing. Fnord makes a good point re time travel though.
Baltar: "I don't want to miss a moment of the last Battlestar's destruction!"
Centurion: "Sir, I really think you should look at the other Battlestar."
Baltar: "What are you babbling about other...it's impossible!"
Centurion: "No. It is a Battlestar."

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.

fnord
Jedi Knight
Posts: 835
Joined: 2005-09-18 08:09am
Location: You're not cleared for that

Re: The 13th Tribe Book II: A Symphony of War

Post by fnord » 2018-08-22 03:23pm

You're a good enough writer not to be too unduly bothered either way. I'm worried that it wouldn't constrain the story enough.
A mad person thinks there's a gateway to hell in his basement. A mad genius builds one and turns it on. - CaptainChewbacca

Post Reply