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http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,377121,00.html

ATLANTA — Michael McCarty, a 20-year-old Georgia Tech student, met his dream girl, a fellow college student, online 5 years ago.

So in preparation for her upcoming visit — when the two will meet face-to-face for the first time — Michael has turned to the Internet for help with something he hasn't experienced — kissing.

McCarty, a finance major, placed an ad on Craigslist asking for "a girl to please teach me to kiss." He says in the ad that his online girlfriend "tells me it's a big turn-off if a guy doesn't know how to kiss, and she even dumped her last boyfriend because of this."

Yes, people... it really is that bad.

Why didn't he just do as I did and go to wikipedia?

This is as funny as it is sad.

Gandalf wrote:Why didn't he just do as I did and go to wikipedia?

I know, he could have at least googled it.

Honestly, kissing is a natural thing like pissing... only nicer. I can't see how you can fuck it up, it's not rocket science.

I just give big sloppy ones and assume I'm doing okay.

Yes, my love life is one derailed relationship after another, why do you ask?

More confirmation that my decision to go to USC instead of GT was a good decision.

They've been talking online for five years and haven't met yet?

Oh, and she expects him to be a perfect kisser right off the bat?

Lonestar wrote:I just give big sloppy ones and assume I'm doing okay.

I just do what the girl does, of course in the opposite direction. She goes up, I go down, she goes left, I go right. It worked for the two girls that I kissed, they seemed to like it. *sigh* Yep, I am definitely going to cry myself to sleep tonight.

He should just practice in his pillow at night. That totally works.

Incidentally, what is it about Georgia Tech that makes things like this not surprising?

Hey, hey, I went to GT and I met MY boyfriend online (as in, here)...and we actually met in real life a few months later. So that's totally different.

Wait, wait, this article doesn't make any sense.

Michael McCarty, a 20-year-old Georgia Tech student, met his dream girl, a fellow college student, online 5 years ago.

So... so he's been in college since he was 15, and so was she? Stupid Fox News, can't even get football scores right, much less fluff pieces.


EDIT: Desertfly, if you like, I can tell you stories, man. Horrifying, sometimes hilarious stories, in the sense that you have to laugh to keep from crying. And also band stories. I have many band stories.

Please do tell.

Lonestar wrote:I just give big sloppy ones and assume I'm doing okay.

Yes, my love life is one derailed relationship after another, why do you ask?

You sir are an internet savant! I salute you!

Shroom Man 777 wrote:Please do tell.

Actually, I have them posted at Librium Arcana, a whole thread of them that I'm constantly adding to. And, I just realized that I needed to add a post about the band's annual scavenger hunt, Get a Clue. It's the scavenger hunt that has gotten the bomb squad out with the little robot.

Mayabird wrote:Hey, hey, I went to GT and I met MY boyfriend online (as in, here)...and we actually met in real life a few months later. So that's totally different.

You never gave me any lessons on kissing. I'm still an untrained amateur!

DPDarkPrimus wrote:

Mayabird wrote:Hey, hey, I went to GT and I met MY boyfriend online (as in, here)...and we actually met in real life a few months later. So that's totally different.

You never gave me any lessons on kissing. I'm still an untrained amateur!

I'd be happy to give out a correspondance course.
Just send me your GF (Or anyone else really) and I'll demonstrate happily, sending you the videos. (Once you pay me off coursE).
Hmm, I think I've found an excellent new source of income. (Well, the oldest one actually).

Maya, I was kidding, don't kill me!

It's entirely possible to mess up kissing.

But damn is it fun when a hot redhead teaches you how to do it properly.

Admiral Valdemar wrote:Honestly, kissing is a natural thing like pissing... only nicer.

It's entirely possible to do both.

I can't see how you can fuck it up, it's not rocket science.

I see you never met this fellow. He fucked up the general idea of speaking to a girl, let alone kissing one. I shudder to think what will happen when or if he ever tries to fuck one.

I don't think i've ever met two people that kiss in exactly the same way.

It's an exacting and complicated science that only a master can.. err.. master.

And by that I mean, it's easiest just to wing it.

DesertFly wrote:Incidentally, what is it about Georgia Tech that makes things like this not surprising?

First, you have The Ratio; ie, the student population is around 70% male. Certain majors (aerospace engineering, for example) are even more tilted, maybe 90-95%.

Second, the nerd population is quite out of proportion. I thought I was pretty bad in high school; but then I got to Tech and found out I was downright gregarious and athletic compared to some others (yes, it sounds horrible, I know). There are some people who try to not venture outside during the day unless it is absolutely necessary. The WoW addiction factor is very high.

Third, a lot of the guys sit there and whine about how no girl talks to them, but they don't realize that sitting over there looking creepy and staring and not actually talking might pe part of the problem... as is getting all creepy or freaking out when a girl does come up and talk to them. The guys blame all of this on what they call "TBS" (Tech Bitch Syndrome) and say that the girls are spoiled by all the attention.

In short, the ratio may be disproportionate, but the guys hurt their own case far more than the ratio does.

Mayabird wrote:So... so he's been in college since he was 15, and so was she? Stupid Fox News, can't even get football scores right, much less fluff pieces.

We had a 16-year-old guy on our hall freshman year. His twin brother went to Emory. But seriously, I think they meant to say they met at 15, and they just happen to both be in college now.

SirNitram wrote:It's entirely possible to mess up kissing.

But damn is it fun when a hot redhead teaches you how to do it properly.

Agreed, though it my case it was a Colombian brunnette goth.

The first girl I kissed was... aggressive, to say the least, and I had to match her level just to keep up. Unfortunately that tendency to be aggressive held over to the next person I kissed, who was anything but aggressive. I had to be taught that there were many different ways of kissing, and how to read your partner's body language so that you could tailor your own actions to suit them.

Oh, and because this is a GT thread....

Damn, now that is comedy gold!

Semen is damaging to the environment. Oh god, I can't stop laughing!

Next to those two Harry Potter ones (Reflections and The Internet), that is my favorite Motivational Poster.

Wow.

Does that mean there is a "Semen Remediation" line-item, in the college's operations budget...?

Kanastrous wrote:Wow.

Does that mean there is a "Semen Remediation" line-item, in the college's operations budget...?

Looks like a prank to me.