StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Ok, something I thought would be fun. Let's say that all of a sudden the only people allowed to run for the office of president of the United States of America were members of SDN with a post count of 1000 or higher as of the date of this post. If that user isn't a US citizen, for the sake of the senario we'll assume they're a US citizen anyways. Also, the 35 years old and up this is waved.

Basically anyone with a post count of 1000 of higher can toss there name in the hat. If this gets popular enough maybe I'll make another thread where we vote to narrow down the contenders for SDN President of the United States, have another thread where we ask the candidates questions, vote to narrow down some more, and eventually work our way to just two contenders for SDN President of the United States.

So, who's running, what's your party (democrat, republican, communist, the Peoples Popular Party for the Liberation of Outer Space, whatever... hell, make one up), explain your platform and make campaign promises, suck up to the voters, and let's get to politicking!

Keeping the People's interests at heart, I won't be moving this thread to Testing.

And, remember, vote for Hipper is a vote for Doubleplus fun!

(EDIT) Frank Hipper

Doubleplus Fun Buttsex and Eternal War Party

I foresee an absolute deluge of self-declared, single-supporter candidates. There are just too many colossal egos floating around here. It might be a good idea to create five or six political parties that nominate a single candidate. You'll at least want to pare it down to the limit of poll options.

Frank Hipper wrote: (EDIT) Frank Hipper

Doubleplus Fun Buttsex and Eternal War Party

Sounds a bit Republican to me....

I nominate Shep, not because I particularly like him, but because every election needs its psychotic egotist who doesn't care about anyone but himself.

Who will be the first to suggest we nominate Mike and the moderators?

I have a better idea, how about we keep it at the 1,000 post limit idea and toss in the "Must be a US born citizen and 30 years of age or older".
You know the things you have to legally be?

That should narrow the field down to Stuart and maybe old man Dalton

Darth Raptor wrote:I foresee an absolute deluge of self-declared, single-supporter candidates. There are just too many colossal egos floating around here. It might be a good idea to create five or six political parties that nominate a single candidate. You'll at least want to pare it down to the limit of poll options.

We'll see how this thread works out and then we'll narrow it down how ever might best work I guess.

Mr Bean wrote:I have a better idea, how about we keep it at the 1,000 post limit idea and toss in the "Must be a US born citizen and 30 years of age or older".
You know the things you have to legally be?

That should narrow the field down to Stuart and maybe old man Dalton

I thought it was 35?

havokeff wrote:

Mr Bean wrote:I have a better idea, how about we keep it at the 1,000 post limit idea and toss in the "Must be a US born citizen and 30 years of age or older".
You know the things you have to legally be?

That should narrow the field down to Stuart and maybe old man Dalton

I thought it was 35?

It is.

Plus they have to have been living in the US for the previous 7 years (I think).

I'd like to vote for Nitram. Or maybe Tev. West Virginia needs a president.

I nominate Broomstick. With her as president, we'll definitely see some changes.

Throw the rascals out, Broomstick!

As if I don't know what our gloriously elected leader is going to be like:

"A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one. I promise you, if I'm elected, I will bring an end to corruption."

"I love democracy, I love this country. The power you give me I will lay down when this crisis has abated!"

"The attempt on my life has left me scarred...and deformed. But I assure you, my resolve has never been stronger!"

"In order to ensure the security and continuing stability, the government will be re organized into the first...planetary...Empire! For a safe, and secure society!"

Mr Bean wrote:That should narrow the field down to Stuart and maybe old man Dalton

I could be wrong, but I thought that Stuart was born in the UK.

I guess no one except Frank actually read the damned OP...

So, who's running, what's your party (democrat, republican, communist, the Peoples Popular Party for the Liberation of Outer Space, whatever... hell, make one up), explain your platform and make campaign promises, suck up to the voters, and let's get to politicking!

Quit fucking nominating people. If they want to run then let 'em post.

Damnit, a hundred and forty posts below the minimum necessary to run. Damn your qualifications!! This could've been fun as hell! *shakes fist*

Vote Civil War Man/Zombie Sherman 2008!

I think you know our platform.

I support Civil War Mans bid for candidacy.

What the hell.

General Zod of the Kryptonian Assembly hereby throws in his nomination. Why should you vote you ask? Because not to vote would be the foolish choice, and may very well result in you being incinerated. Why vote for a lesser tyranny?

Darth Raptor wrote:I foresee an absolute deluge of self-declared, single-supporter candidates. There are just too many colossal egos floating around here. It might be a good idea to create five or six political parties that nominate a single candidate. You'll at least want to pare it down to the limit of poll options.

Don't worry, us <1000 post plebs will therefore decide the result.

Remember, you may be running, but we hold all the power. Bwahahahahaha!

Well, that's what I tell myself anyway.

Mr Coffee, will you be listing the nominees later in a concise format, or do we have to sift through the thread?

With Shep's agreement, I want to found the Shep-IP Frozen Hell Party for Nukes and Aerospace. Seriously. Not that I'm the candidate either, but we could have a platform. I think that'd actually be even more interesting. A genuine, mock, platform-based election as opposed to a more silly personality one.

I am immediately drawn to the Civil War Man/Zombie Sherman candidacy, but in all fairness, I will hear out the Shep/IP Frozen Hell candidates.

Twoyboy wrote:Mr Coffee, will you be listing the nominees later in a concise format, or do we have to sift through the thread?

That's kind of the idea.


So far we've got:

Frank Hipper of the Doubleplus Fun Buttsex and Eternal War Party. Not sure what Franks platform is, but I think it envolves sodomy and war.

Civil War Man/Zombie Sherman. Not sure what party they're with or what the platform is.

General Zod of the Kryptonian Assembly. Not sure what their platform is other than not being the lesser tyranny.

And possibly the the Shep-IP Frozen Hell Party for Nukes and Aerospace.

Candidate: Axis Kast
Home State: New York
Party Affiliation: Rally for Change
Vice President: ?

Supports:

* Universal Health Care
* Gay Marriage (universal)
* Roe v. Wade
* Higher Taxes
* Stem Cell Research
* Tax Breaks for Business (from small businesses to major corporations)
* Expansion of Army auditing offices to help oversee more efficient use/oversight of private contractors.
* Military expansion (particularly Army expansion).
* ABM Shield
* Withdrawal from Iraq (in light of diminished Congressional and popular willingness to support the massive infusion of resources necessary to do more than triage, which is insufficient to build a viable peace or a capable Iraqi state). Presuming that some method of funding the war adequately (and also of providing the requesite numbers of boots-on-the-ground, this stance would shift to "staying the course," albeit with much greater emphasis on an "oil-stain" strategy spearheaded by an expanded Civil Affairs branch).
* Expansion of military activity in Afghanistan.
* Free trade

Opposes:

* Direct humanitarian intervention (i.e., Darfur)

---

Obviously, these lists are not exclusive.

Vote DEATH for the Anthropomorphic personification & Mortality party.
If elected, I shall solve every single problem you have, from PO to hunger to being too short and not getting enough sex. (Yes, even the lowliest forms of life shall benefit. Even such as Macross will have his problems solved).

These are not empty words, for I have a definitive plan to solve every single problem known (And yet Unknown) to Humanity, for I Remember Everything:
I SHALL WAIT UNTIL YOU ALL DIE. THERE. PROBLEM SOLVED.



Text release: Voters furious at innefectiveness of gibbets & tar on Patrichian candidate Death, quote "The bugger's got no throat! Get out the sledgehammers!".

Well, as the 35 year age restriction is not in effect. I nominate myself. As I plan on being the first President of half Italian and half Mexican descent, I will run on a platform that rings true with the status of my "people" in this great country.

Vote for me or I WILL KILL YOU!.

Have a nice day.