Global- What? [an idea for future stories]
Posted: 2007-07-26 05:04am
Surlethe's "Global Mean Temperature" and Duchess of Zeon's "Global Peak" stories have given me an idea. What other concepts ripped from today's (or tomorrow's) headlines could make for intriguing stories of disaster, death, and woe?
Global Terror: Naturally, a right-wing response to the global warming and peak oil scenarios. It's 2028, the War on Terror has been won with the capture of Osama Bin Laden in Iraq (57th state of the Union), and the nation is out of the energy crisis thanks to the free-market-no-government policies of the visionary Tancredo-Paul Administration. But hark! Is it really? When the Rove Memorial Reactor in Flint, Michigan mysteriously explodes, the nation realizes that it is under siege by a resurgent wave of liberofascism led by the New York Time's no. 2 in command, intent on wreaking havoc by destroying the nation's capitalist solar-wind-water-heart power stations and system of privatized nuclear plants in each county of very state. Can humanity withstand a million Chernobyls igniting like fireflies in a bug zapper?
And to balance that, the leftish Global Hegemon: It's 2169, and Kennedy Clinton Roosevelt has just defeated the combined forces of George Bush Clinton and Indira Evita Thatcher, assuming sole control over the Republic. After nearly two centuries of barbarity and torture, the American Republic is about to become- the American Empire. Throughout the planet, billions toil in the slavepens of Nestle U.S., while billions more are forced to endure Yankee invasions of their nations, followed by being coerced to purchase American goods at gunpoint. The prelates of the American Non-Denominational Church stone homosexuals and crucifies pagans nightly, before taking the money they embezzled from prayer telathons to Colorado Springs where they blow it all on male prostitutes and crystal meth. As the forces of Blackwater-Solar System mass in Greater Judea for the final war of delusional-Armageddon, the people of Earth cry out at the suffocating embrace that is about to be completed. Can the world withstand yet another ejaculation of American freedom?
And another for the righty crowd, Global Rates: It's 2015, and the Turk has won. Well, not the actual Turks, as the Kemalist revolution has finally died out to the sound of a thousand takbirs in the night. Europe is a wasteland, populated by doddering welfare state-fattened octogenerians and the huge underclass of restless dark-looking youths. China fell when its one-child policy turned on itself, leading to a huge implausible Islamic revolution out of nowhere- er, I mean Xinjiang. There are barely a hundred thousand people left in the world, the majority of them living in the U.S., who finally decided to stop arguing abortions and homosexual marriages, has collapsed in on itself because people simply aren't breeding enough! And then the Muslims take ov- oh, wait, already been written.
Finally, Global Time Calculator: This adapted for the year 2099.
Global Terror: Naturally, a right-wing response to the global warming and peak oil scenarios. It's 2028, the War on Terror has been won with the capture of Osama Bin Laden in Iraq (57th state of the Union), and the nation is out of the energy crisis thanks to the free-market-no-government policies of the visionary Tancredo-Paul Administration. But hark! Is it really? When the Rove Memorial Reactor in Flint, Michigan mysteriously explodes, the nation realizes that it is under siege by a resurgent wave of liberofascism led by the New York Time's no. 2 in command, intent on wreaking havoc by destroying the nation's capitalist solar-wind-water-heart power stations and system of privatized nuclear plants in each county of very state. Can humanity withstand a million Chernobyls igniting like fireflies in a bug zapper?
And to balance that, the leftish Global Hegemon: It's 2169, and Kennedy Clinton Roosevelt has just defeated the combined forces of George Bush Clinton and Indira Evita Thatcher, assuming sole control over the Republic. After nearly two centuries of barbarity and torture, the American Republic is about to become- the American Empire. Throughout the planet, billions toil in the slavepens of Nestle U.S., while billions more are forced to endure Yankee invasions of their nations, followed by being coerced to purchase American goods at gunpoint. The prelates of the American Non-Denominational Church stone homosexuals and crucifies pagans nightly, before taking the money they embezzled from prayer telathons to Colorado Springs where they blow it all on male prostitutes and crystal meth. As the forces of Blackwater-Solar System mass in Greater Judea for the final war of delusional-Armageddon, the people of Earth cry out at the suffocating embrace that is about to be completed. Can the world withstand yet another ejaculation of American freedom?
And another for the righty crowd, Global Rates: It's 2015, and the Turk has won. Well, not the actual Turks, as the Kemalist revolution has finally died out to the sound of a thousand takbirs in the night. Europe is a wasteland, populated by doddering welfare state-fattened octogenerians and the huge underclass of restless dark-looking youths. China fell when its one-child policy turned on itself, leading to a huge implausible Islamic revolution out of nowhere- er, I mean Xinjiang. There are barely a hundred thousand people left in the world, the majority of them living in the U.S., who finally decided to stop arguing abortions and homosexual marriages, has collapsed in on itself because people simply aren't breeding enough! And then the Muslims take ov- oh, wait, already been written.
Finally, Global Time Calculator: This adapted for the year 2099.