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Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines

Posted: 2019-12-27 03:12pm
by CUE
FaxModem1 wrote:
2019-12-23 09:36pm
I've gotten to know the homeless at my job. Since I'm security, I HAVE to get them to leave. More often than not, it's just a polite conversation. You get really good at listening to their personal histories, when more often than not, I get lost in what they're talking about.
Good on you... More often than not people just like being heard.

Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines

Posted: 2019-12-31 01:01am
by Raw Shark
The homeless are a valuable asset. They have a lot of time on their hands, and will work for a sandwich or a safe place to sleep. Never discount them. They are your friends and allies.

Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines

Posted: 2020-01-01 09:38am
by Solauren
It wouldn't surprise me to learn that larger properties had areas set up homeless can crash in during bad weather, provided they keep the area clean and safe, and help out when they can.

Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines

Posted: 2020-01-02 08:38am
by Elheru Aran
Solauren wrote:
2020-01-01 09:38am
It wouldn't surprise me to learn that larger properties had areas set up homeless can crash in during bad weather, provided they keep the area clean and safe, and help out when they can.
Depends strongly upon the property and how generous the landlords are...

Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines

Posted: 2020-01-11 08:48pm
by FaxModem1
It snowed today, which is rare in North Texas. So I had to direct some homeless people away from the building. One of them was this middle aged woman, who was convinced that I was her nephew and started spouting celebrity names at random.

Woman: "How old are you?"
Fax: "33"
Woman: "Do you recognize me? I think I'm your aunt."
Fax: "I don't think so."
Woman: "Dennis Hopper. Denis Leary. Where am I? Katie Homes, Kathy Griffin."
Fax: "Let's get you somewhere warm, okay? There's a Jack in the Box over here, and I'll get you some food."

Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines

Posted: 2020-01-29 11:01am
by Raw Shark
I was friendly with an incredibly organized group of technically homeless people in Denver, the Invisibles. I dated one of them for a while. They're crazy, but not necessarily incompetent.

Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines

Posted: 2020-02-10 11:26pm
by FaxModem1
Previous Shift Supervisor: "Hey, there's a leak here. Would you mind reporting it during your shift?"

Me: (looks at watch, it's 30 minutes until my shift): "Sure, why don't you want to report it during your shift?"

PSS: "Man, I have been way too busy training this person."(Both are sitting around doing nothing. )

Me: "Okay, do you want to train her on how to do it?"

PSS: "Nah, man."

Me: "You know how to do it, right?"

PSS: " Of course. Will you do it?"

Me: "(resigned) Sure.

5 minutes later:

PSS: "Hey Fax, show me how to do it."

Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines

Posted: 2020-02-27 11:26pm
by aerius
Co-worker: My kids keep saying they hate me and it's starting to piss me off

Me: Have you tried marijuana?

Co-worker: Is that how you deal with your kids?

Me: No. But you should try marijuana

Co-worker: Me or the kids?

Me: Yes.

Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines

Posted: 2020-04-29 02:18am
by FaxModem1
*Checking elevator intercoms at work*

Fax: Hey, how's your night going?
Elevator Intercom Lady: (sighs) It's going all right.
Fax: Oh, are you having a bad day?
EIL: Oh no, it's not bad, it's my birthday.
Fax: Congratulations. Happy Birthday. How are you celebrating it?
EIL: Quarantine and cake.
Fax: Oh.....right. Well, I hope it's a good day. I'll talk to you soon.

(at the last elevator check for the night, which is typically where I just wish her a good night and we talk to each other the next time I do them.

EIL: (Company name) How can I help you?
Fax: (sings 'Happy birthday to you' in slow Ratpack lounge style)
EIL: laughs. Thank you.
Fax: See you next time.

Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines

Posted: 2020-04-29 11:29pm
by InsaneTD
That was good of you.

Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines

Posted: 2020-05-12 06:54pm
by Raw Shark
UBER DRIVER: I filed my unemployment claim six weeks ago, and I still haven't gotten my money!

BITTER FORMER TAXI DRIVER: So it says here that you worked for Uber until a Pandemic-related layoff... Did you do something for them other than drive?

UBER DRIVER: No, I'm a driver. I worked over forty hours a week until all the restaurants closed and I stopped making enough.

BITTER FORMER TAXI DRIVER: So you weren't actually laid off, you just decided going to work wasn't worth it?

UBER DRIVER: [after much hemming and hawing, grudgingly agrees]

BITTER FORMER TAXI DRIVER: So your statement that you were laid off was not in the strict sense accurate? You checked the box that says you acknowledge that providing a false statement to obtain benefits carries severe legal penalties.

UBER DRIVER: What do you mean, false!? I can't live on $25/day!

BITTER FORMER TAXI DRIVER: I'm sorry, but you've reached the Department of Unemployment, not the Department of I Don't Want to Work Unless I Make More...

MY SUPERVISOR: [virtual office chat] LMAO

Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines

Posted: 2020-05-17 08:54pm
by Raw Shark
ME: Thank you for calling the Division of Employment Security Helpline. How can I help you?

TRAVEL AGENT: Uh, yeah, hi. I'm wondering about the status of my claim, it's been three weeks...

ME: Sure, let me get your Social Security Number and I'll take a look.

TRAVEL AGENT: Okay, it's XXX-XX-XXXX.

ME: One moment please... Right, are you [FIRSTNAME] Corona, of [TOWN?]

TRAVEL AGENT: Uh-huh.

ME: Get a lot of jokes about that lately?

TRAVEL AGENT: [sigh] Yeah.

ME: I bet. I won't dogpile you, I'll just do a search for any outstanding issues and we can - A-HA! It says here that YOU started the plague! I knew it! No wonder your benefits are denied!

TRAVEL AGENT: [laughs] You got me. It was supposed to be a harmless prank, until it got out of hand on my vacation to China.

ME: Hey, gotta get The Wall for your Instagram, right?

TRAVEL AGENT: Of course! [long pause] My claim isn't really denied, is it?

ME: Nope, just a pending resolution on your elegibility. I can't fix that, but hey, at least I've got jokes!

TRAVEL AGENT: Super.

Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines

Posted: 2020-05-24 06:04pm
by Raw Shark
ME: Okay, next up are the demographic questions. "Other" and "Choose not to answer" are valid for most of these.

OLD SOUTHERN LADY: Okay.

ME: First off, what is your gender?

OLD SOUTHERN LADY: Now what kind of question is that!?

ME: I have to ask all of them as-written. Should I put "Choose not to answer?"

OLD SOUTHERN LADY: I am a LADY!

ME: Female, got it. Next, what is your race?

OLD SOUTHERN LADY: White.

ME: Okay. Are you also Hispanic or Latino?

OLD SOUTHERN LADY: *condescending snort* No, my ancestors are European.

ME: Spain is in Europe, ma'am.

OLD SOUTHERN LADY: ...well, I guess you've got me there.