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Quote of the Week: "A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within." - Will Durant, American historian (1885-1981)

'Dealing with it'-Chap. 1&2

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1911A1 Cowboy
PostPosted: 2011-11-17 05:49pm 

Redshirt


Joined: 2011-11-16 02:57am
Posts: 7
The frightened kitten shivered as a pitbull dog-sized scorpion menaced it. A little girl walking home from school looked at the scene. "Sic'em, K-10!" A robot shaped liked a Scottish Terrier dog. rolled towards the scorpion and swiveled his head . A plasma beam lashed out from the dog's mouth, reducing the scorpion to green mush. The girl ran and grabbed the kitten, soothing him.

"K-10, your affordably-priced anti-kaiju system.' began the TV announcer. "and remember: 5% of every K-10 sale goes to free medical care for dogs and cats. $29.95, plus tax. X-TRONICS, your pal since 1955.

Butch Corso smiled as he popped an orange diet soda open. "God bless X-mart." The radio news DJ felt the rush as 200 mg of caffiene flooded him. Butch was a devout Techno-Republican.

When the kaiju attacks began in the 1950s, the United States Federal Government adopted The Kennedy-Nixon plan. Generic discount stores were allowed permanent 25% tax credits, provided they sold weapons, emergency supplies, ammunition , and basic living human/veterinary-related supplies at a significant discount to the public.

The results were amazing. Save for Class 100 Monster Attacks, the United States had the lowest death rate from kaiju attacks in the world. Injuries from Kaiju attacks were the world's third lowest period.

A commotion came from outside, Butch snatched an laser scoped AK47 up and ran outside. A giant black bear was menacing his dog's pen. Butch shot it dead and comforted his chihuahua, Boo-Boo. "About time for you to come in anyway." He carried the tiny dog inside and locked the door.

He called the trash company, "We'll pick the dead bear up in 20 minutes." was reply. They did, too. Life was good.

Last edited by 1911A1 Cowboy on 2011-11-18 06:19pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Nuts!
PostPosted: 2011-11-17 09:41pm 

Redshirt


Joined: 2010-02-11 06:41pm
Posts: 39
Location: Isla Vista, CA
What is this I don't even
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Simon_Jester
PostPosted: 2011-11-17 11:25pm 

Emperor's Hand


Joined: 2009-05-23 07:29pm
Posts: 21587
This has the potential to be truly funny, or truly stupid. I can't tell which it is yet, but I'm optimistic.
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1911A1 Cowboy
PostPosted: 2011-11-17 11:28pm 

Redshirt


Joined: 2011-11-16 02:57am
Posts: 7
Simon_Jester wrote:
This has the potential to be truly funny, or truly stupid. I can't tell which it is yet, but I'm optimistic.


How would people deal with the Kaiju-infested world that Majin Godzilla's thread entitled .'Ramifications of repeated giant Monster attacks'?
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1911A1 Cowboy
PostPosted: 2011-11-18 01:05am 

Redshirt


Joined: 2011-11-16 02:57am
Posts: 7
Barry ate supper and played with his dog. The TV was turned off and the radio played 1980s New Wave. music. Boo-Boo chased a toy R/C tank around the living room. "Eight O' clock, Boo-Boo." noticed Barry . He put his toys up and did his hygiene duties.

Barry hit the sack at 8:26, after putting Boo-Boo to bed for the night. Barry slept well. He arose and fed Boo-Boo. He put him inside his pen. Barry activated a plasma screen and left. Boo Boo's pen was now protected by a force field.

Barry ate breakfast, read his Bible, and shaved. The youth then packed his lunch, and began riding his trike to work, His AK47 slung over his shoulder. Nobody even noticed him. Citizens of the Freedom States of America. went freely armed, it was a part of their government's anti-kaiju plan.

Barry arrived at work, at 5:40 a.m. He secured both his trike and his lunch. He left his AK47 in the company gun rack after unloading it. He clocked early in time for the 6-1 shift. Barry liked his radio newscaster job a lot. He was either a gofer or announcing on the air, "Metal 86.1 FM. It is now 6:00 a.m., Friday, April 6, 2178. In local news, our girl's basketball team scored 39-17 win over the Pine Creek County Lady Outlaws, Way to go, Lady Rattlers!" Barry paused as he read the prompter facing him.

"Record Boar killed at Flatland Forest. We will be interviewing the youth whom shot the beast on our noon newscast.Turning to the weather." Barry paused again.

"The Rodan Watch that was in effect has been cancelled. Breezy, High of 65. Tonight, a low of 35 and partly cloudy. Tomorrow, warm and windy, with a chance of severe thunderstorms after 2 P.M. These storms are expected to be potentially tornadic in nature, so please monitor the weather. Our pet of the day, courtesy of the Big Hugs Animal Shelter, is up next."

He paused to read an ad. "This newscast bought you courtesy of 'Fashion is Dead' your universal clothing store. Located at Plateau Land Shopping mall, Between Diana's Gun Shop and China Buffet Open 10:30 -10:00. 7 days a week.."

He smiled as a woman walked in with a cat carrier. She smiled and opened it. A tiny orange kitten came forth, green eyes surveying all about it. "This is Sherbert, he's a little boy kitten we rescued Tuesday afternoon. Sherbert has had his shots and been fixed. He's available for adoption beginning today."

Barry gently hugged the kitten and dangled his trike's keys to amuse it. Donna Blakeland
laughed and then gently retrieved the kitten. "Big Hugs animal shelter is open from 9-5, 7 days a week. We take donations and we have lots of cats and dogs available for adoption."
Donna left, kitten in tow.

"Up next. "'She's got the looks that kill'." Barry's boss called him. "I need to you ride up to Flat Lands Plains and interview the girl whom shot the record boar in time for our noon newscast. As the news van is covering the new Pizzarama opening next door, take a PDA and be back by one p.m. You can send the interview by webcast to our website here."
"You go it."

Barry got his rifle and got on his trike and started driving towards Flatland Forest on I-44.

Last edited by 1911A1 Cowboy on 2011-11-18 06:20pm, edited 2 times in total.
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CaptainChewbacca
PostPosted: 2011-11-18 06:36am 

Browncoat Wookiee


Joined: 2003-05-06 02:36am
Posts: 15738
Location: Deep beneath Boatmurdered.
Please put all your chapters in the same thread. This forum would get cluttered if every fanfic chapter had its' own entry.
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LadyTevar
PostPosted: 2011-11-18 01:13pm 

White Mage


Joined: 2003-02-12 11:59pm
Posts: 17576
Location: Tahalshia Manor
Chapters Merged, please keep posting in the same story :)
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1911A1 Cowboy
PostPosted: 2011-11-18 06:15pm 

Redshirt


Joined: 2011-11-16 02:57am
Posts: 7
Thank you, Lady Tevar. I'm legally blind, and I will endeavor to post future chapters as replies under the same topic heading :)
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1911A1 Cowboy
PostPosted: 2011-11-18 07:01pm 

Redshirt


Joined: 2011-11-16 02:57am
Posts: 7
Butch arrived at his destination by 8:30 a.m. He turned off I-44 and got on state route 11.
He came to Flatland Forest. A Federal Police car blocked the entrance. A Mini-14 toting cop
waved him to stop. With plasma weapons being pricier than assault weapons, Butch understood the man's choice.

Butch obeyed and showed him his ID. The cop took him to a command post, where a briefing was ongoing.. "-Junior National Guard mobilized at 07:45 EDT. The 101st airborne is inbound, the 82cd Mech Force is inbound. A tank battalion is also coming." Barry had already turned on his PDA and was updating his radio station live.

The local sheriff sat down with Barry afterwards. "Barry, we need you to help warn the media to alert people from your radio station from here.." "I'll do thay, but I need the full story."

" You got it. Yesterday, a cowgirl shot a record boar that was chasing her dog. Turns, it was the food for a potentially Class 100 Allosaurus Rex, Said animal has since attacked two farms and could be headed this way." Helicopter gun ships buzzed overhead.
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