Dark Shadows (2012)

[CaiusWickersham]

I saw an ad for this long-awaited movie last night on television. Now, I know Seth Grahame-Smith walks on water with plenty of geeks for what I am sure are some good reasons, but my immediate reaction on seeing this was: "What the HELL was that?!"

I saw the NBC remake in 1989 and I saw some of the original soap on Sci-Fi Channel back when it had quality programming. My mother is a huge fan of the original as a kid too. We were both set back by this . . . thing . . . that claims to be a successor to it. Okay, geek diva rant over. What are your thoughts?

[Patrick Degan]

Complete and utter garbage. I predict tankage at the box office within three weeks of release.

[Broomstick]

I don't know what that was, but it wasn't Dark Shadows. It's some weird mutated thing pretending to be Dark Shadows.

[Tsyroc]

The little clip of a commercial I saw looked like an absolutely craptacular movie where they make fun of the source material by making an overly goofy version of the original. Essentially the formula that's been hit and miss for a lot of the TV shows to movies.

I mean, how can nobody think there's something wrong with this version of Barnabas Collins? He's not just pale, he's frickin' chalk white.

[The Yosemite Bear]

I don't know what that was, but it wasn't Dark Shadows. It's some weird mutated thing pretending to be Dark Shadows.

well look we've been seeing so many shitty remakes over the last couple decades, it pisses me off to no end when they do this shite....

[Patrick Degan]

Lots and lots of cocaine must have fueled the "creative" process behind this movie.

[Action Avenue]

I, for one, am looking forward to the Dark Shadows movie. Here are my reasons:
1. Burton & Depp generally make good movies and when they team up, all the better.
2. Yes, I know, it's yet another movie remake of a old tv show or movie. Hollywood is not going to stop releasing remakes since they're generally profit generators. So might as well get behind the remakes we can enjoy and ignore the ones we don't want to see.
3. It's a period piece. Movies set in a specific time period, either in the future or past, have that extra element of mystery in the plot. Why? Because the factors in how a situation is handled by the characters aren't always comparable to how that same situation would be handled in our present day.
4. It's got a blood sucking vampire and where there are blood sucking vampires, beautiful women with lovely necks and ample clevage can't be too far behind!
5. The recent pussification attempts of said creatures of the night by stupid movies like Twilight and its sequels have got to stop. Yes, I know those movies are not aimed at my demographic, but give me a break already.

[Jim Raynor]

Anyone else sick of Johnny Depp layering on the white makeup and playing all these "quirky" and decidedly weird roles? I saw the post for the upcoming Lone Ranger, and Depp's reimagined Tonto just screamed "Look at me!"

[K. A. Pital]

I never get tired of Depp. His recent performance in the Rum Diaries impressed me. I couldn't care less if several blockbusters where he's playing a mix between Sweneey Todd and Jack Sparrow flop or make it big. He's still a decent actor in any case.

[Jim Raynor]

Yeah, he's capable of doing more. I'm just personally getting tired of how so many of his recent blockbuster roles have gone in this direction.

As for Dark Shadows, this looks like a total bomb in the making. Just look at the trailer. These are probably the very best parts of the movie, and they all look like crap. I don't know who this movie is supposed to appeal to. Certainly not fans of the original show, however relevant that niche fandom might be. It's too campy and goofy to impress young people, and too weird for older viewers. This doesn't look like a "guy movie," I don't think many women will be attracted to Depp's altered appearance here. Yet they're releasing this movie at the start of the summer movie season, just a week after The Avengers...

Then again, maybe my predictions will be totally wrong. I did think that Avatar was going to flop after first reading its premise. "He spent $500 million (or whatever the budget was) on a movie starring blue aliens? James Cameron will never work in Hollywood again!"

[Ziggy Stardust]

Why did Tim Burton throw out his artistic integrity? Seriously, when was the last movie he made that wasn't just a terrible remake of something that was older and better? Alice in Wonderland, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, now this?

[FaxModem1]

Don't forget Planet of the Apes.

[Tasoth]

Why did Tim Burton throw out his artistic integrity? Seriously, when was the last movie he made that wasn't just a terrible remake of something that was older and better? Alice in Wonderland, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, now this?

Does Sweeney Todd count since it is an adaptation of a very old stage production to film?

[Ziggy Stardust]

Does Sweeney Todd count since it is an adaptation of a very old stage production to film?

Yes. I didn't include it because I didn't think Sweeney Todd was THAT bad. It wasn't great, but I didn't think it was as bad as his other remakes.

[Tasoth]

Does Sweeney Todd count since it is an adaptation of a very old stage production to film?

Yes. I didn't include it because I didn't think Sweeney Todd was THAT bad. It wasn't great, but I didn't think it was as bad as his other remakes.

Oh, it's not bad, but it falls into that Hollywood trend of 'REMAKE ALL THE NOSTALGIA MOVIES!' they're on.

[Bob the Gunslinger]

The man is on autopilot.