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Kanastrous
PostPosted: 2011-06-22 11:06am 

Sith Acolyte


Joined: 2007-09-14 11:46pm
Posts: 6402
Location: SoCal
Supervising Art Director: Let's get this design fully detailed and finished and sent over to construction so they know what they're talking about when they tell us they can't afford to build it.
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U-95
PostPosted: 2011-06-22 08:20pm 

Youngling


Joined: 2011-06-21 08:43am
Posts: 69
Location: Always on the move (or nearly so)
This didn't happen to me at work, fortunately. In the school where I studied electricity, some weeks ago, someone was ordered to clean with a brush the contacts of the fuses of a circuit that simulated the electrical instalation of a house -those that are before the electricity meters that have a nominal intensity of 160. There was so bad luck that the metallic part of the brush touched two phases and, as anyone with some knowledge of electricity knows, got an accidental short-circuit.

As there weren't more sensible protections than the fuses -ie: no circuit breakers-, it was a very serious one. There was a great flash of light and the poor man ended with 2nd-grade burns at least in the face. He was sent to the hospital, but at least it seems fortunately he's getting well of the burns.
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Skgoa
PostPosted: 2011-07-11 10:51am 

Jedi Master


Joined: 2007-08-02 01:39pm
Posts: 1388
Location: Dresden, valley of the clueless
Kodiak wrote:
Today at work
Bill: Hey, where can I find a double-double?
Me: Umm, the new *In-n-Out opens today at 10.30?
Bill: What?
Me: What?
Bill: No! like a variable! You know, a double-double?
Me: ..... Are you thinking of a long-double?
Bill: That's it! A Long Double-Double

me :lol:
(for those of you unfamiliar, In-n-Out is a west-coast burger chain which has a sandwich called the "Double-Double")

That still doesn't answer the question of why he wanted to know where to find it. :lol:
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Scottish Ninja
PostPosted: 2011-07-22 07:45pm 

Jedi Knight


Joined: 2007-02-26 07:39pm
Posts: 935
Location: Not Scotland, that's for sure
Context: I work in a printing shop.

Me: "I know they're our biggest client, and we want to keep them happy... but Comic Sans? Seriously?"
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The Yosemite Bear
PostPosted: 2011-07-23 10:05pm 

Mostly Harmless Nutcase


Joined: 2002-07-21 02:38am
Posts: 35211
Location: Dave's Not Here Man
well today we got our bi-weekly guest complaints posted on the bulletin board...

the longest complaint taking over a page of text, was a NSFW description of being in the room next to a honeymoon couple...
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Kodiak
PostPosted: 2011-07-24 05:03pm 

Jedi Master


Joined: 2005-07-08 02:19pm
Posts: 1400
Location: The City in the Country
Skgoa wrote:
Kodiak wrote:
Today at work
Bill: Hey, where can I find a double-double?
Me: Umm, the new *In-n-Out opens today at 10.30?
Bill: What?
Me: What?
Bill: No! like a variable! You know, a double-double?
Me: ..... Are you thinking of a long-double?
Bill: That's it! A Long Double-Double

me :lol:
(for those of you unfamiliar, In-n-Out is a west-coast burger chain which has a sandwich called the "Double-Double")

That still doesn't answer the question of why he wanted to know where to find it. :lol:


I think he was trying to reference the proper syntax for using a long-double as a variable.
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Temjin
PostPosted: 2011-07-26 02:21am 

Jedi Council Member


Joined: 2002-08-04 07:12pm
Posts: 1512
Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
So I get a radio from the Family Shelter.

FS: "Dave, do you know where to find any pillows or blankets?"

Me: "No, there's none."

FS: "Are you sure? Because we really need some."

Me: "Well, I could check the basement, but those are probably covered in bedbugs and rat shit."

... Turns out she was standing right in front of the family that was booking in when I said that last bit.

Whoops.
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The Yosemite Bear
PostPosted: 2011-08-06 09:33pm 

Mostly Harmless Nutcase


Joined: 2002-07-21 02:38am
Posts: 35211
Location: Dave's Not Here Man
from today:

Guests asking questions in front of a child.

Guest: What's going on with all these helocoptors and traffic.
Me: Well I would say it was "Search and Rescue" but they found the people they were looking for two weeks ago.
Child: They're picking up the bodies!
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spooky spice
PostPosted: 2011-08-07 05:25am 

Redshirt


Joined: 2011-08-04 01:55pm
Posts: 39
Location: nowhere
Newly opened shop, has a freezer for ice creams, but it's not stocked up yet cos like it's new (and has to sit overnight).

Customer: I'll have 3 <name of ice cream>
Server: Sorry the freezer is empty at the moment, we don't have any <name of ice cream>
Customer: *goes very red in the face* THIS. IS. A. DISASTER!
Server: Geez, get a grip man, the sinking of the Titanic was a disaster, this is just ice cream
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CaptainChewbacca
PostPosted: 2011-08-07 05:38am 

Browncoat Wookiee


Joined: 2003-05-06 02:36am
Posts: 15728
Location: Deep beneath Boatmurdered.
If a server was that immediately patronizing and sarcastic to a customer in a place I owned, he'd be fired on the spot.
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The Yosemite Bear
PostPosted: 2011-08-07 10:34am 

Mostly Harmless Nutcase


Joined: 2002-07-21 02:38am
Posts: 35211
Location: Dave's Not Here Man
well there is the countless times we've used Monty Python to tell the guests not to harrass the wildlife, leading to you need holy handgranades to kill the park's squirrels meme...

also I'm an aspie so I try not to be offensive, I just won't lie to people, though I may omit some things and rephrase...

oh, and more camper deaths over this weekend....
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spooky spice
PostPosted: 2011-08-07 11:47am 

Redshirt


Joined: 2011-08-04 01:55pm
Posts: 39
Location: nowhere
CaptainChewbacca wrote:
If a server was that immediately patronizing and sarcastic to a customer in a place I owned, he'd be fired on the spot.


:roll:

Actually the owner (and everyone in earshot) thought it was absolutely hilarious, especially given the man's reaction to being told there was no ice cream - he was to say the least apoplectic

I voted for giving the server a pay rise and a promotion
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AMT
PostPosted: 2011-08-07 07:42pm 

Jedi Knight


Joined: 2008-11-21 01:26pm
Posts: 829
spooky spice wrote:
CaptainChewbacca wrote:
If a server was that immediately patronizing and sarcastic to a customer in a place I owned, he'd be fired on the spot.


:roll:

Actually the owner (and everyone in earshot) thought it was absolutely hilarious, especially given the man's reaction to being told there was no ice cream - he was to say the least apoplectic

I voted for giving the server a pay rise and a promotion


I give the shop a year, maybe two at most, with customer service like that.
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CaptainChewbacca
PostPosted: 2011-08-08 08:03pm 

Browncoat Wookiee


Joined: 2003-05-06 02:36am
Posts: 15728
Location: Deep beneath Boatmurdered.
An angry customer, even if he's unreasonably angry, is something you need to fix. If someone at a store tells a joke while I'm shopping and I laugh, I might tell one person. If I go to a store to buy ice cream, and they tell me they don't have what I need, and then when I get upset they mock and laugh at me, I'm telling EVERYONE I KNOW about the store with shitty customer service.

An unhappy customer can cancel out 50 happy ones. Your owner is going to lose all of his money if he doesn't understand that.
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StarSword
PostPosted: 2011-08-09 02:56pm 

Jedi Knight


Joined: 2011-07-22 10:46pm
Posts: 985
Location: North Carolina, USA, Earth
The grocery store chain I used to work at actually hired customers to go shopping, then fill out an online survey of their experience at the store. They called it "Mystery Shopper". Results were posted in the break room.

A way to make the program better, in my opinion, would be to give a bonus (like maybe a $10 gift card) for a Mystery Shop that scored 100%. Instead, employees cited in they Mystery Shop get a poster saying basically "good job".
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Chardok
PostPosted: 2011-08-09 05:58pm 

GET THE FUCK OFF MY OBSTACLE!


Joined: 2003-08-12 09:49am
Posts: 8419
Location: San Antonio
NERD ALERT:

*Me listening to some music at my desk*

Co worker: Oh, man! I haven't heard that song in years!

Me: Yeah, but, it's instantly recognizable, right? Pretty cool album I got here, it's the city of prague philharmonic playing Sci-fi music!


Co Worker: Cool, man, I love Star Wars!


Me: ....It's the main title theme to Back to the Future.


Co-worker: Are you sure?


Me: Get out of my office.
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TeufelIV
PostPosted: 2011-08-10 04:04pm 

Youngling


Joined: 2011-08-09 11:42pm
Posts: 51
I am a security guard. Our setup is a custom job and gets pretty finicky.

Me: Watch the cameras tonight. They been glitchy lately.

Relief: I haven't noticed anything. You sure something is going wrong?

*Every camera loses connection*

Me: Really. You had to say it.

This was followed by about 3 hours of grumpy tech people fixing things and waking up da boss. I know why some guards get a bit suspicious. Sans the various media forms always killing off guards.

Last edited by TeufelIV on 2011-08-11 02:03am, edited 1 time in total.
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LadyTevar
PostPosted: 2011-08-10 05:47pm 

White Mage


Joined: 2003-02-12 11:59pm
Posts: 17490
Location: Tahalshia Manor
Signed a birth certificate for a newborn today. When he grows up, he can say "Danger is my Middle Name!" and **PROVE IT***
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The Yosemite Bear
PostPosted: 2011-08-10 08:10pm 

Mostly Harmless Nutcase


Joined: 2002-07-21 02:38am
Posts: 35211
Location: Dave's Not Here Man
that's a good one Tev, well we're having a baby boom here in the park, six little ones all in Julii/Agustus one of my former bosses named his little one "Holden" I'm hoping it's not after "Catcher in the Rye"....
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Kanastrous
PostPosted: 2011-08-12 01:39am 

Sith Acolyte


Joined: 2007-09-14 11:46pm
Posts: 6402
Location: SoCal
Me (negotiating with UPM* at an L.A. studio) - Okay, and my rate on a 56-hour contract is Senior Specialist Hourly scale, $X kit rental, five-day week.

UPM - We're doing the movie under a rebate deal with the State of California, which governs the budget. Your rate is (names something less).

Me - I understand the state deal, but that's been my rate on the last several features and I'm not interested in a pay cut. Let's work something out.

UPM - There's nothing to work out. The last guy I hired is on at that rate, that's the rate. I'd like to have room to deal but I'm afraid it's take-it-or-leave-it.

Me - I feel you. I don't think I mentioned that I'm the only available designer with the software skills the PD wants, as well as the only person available with the credits the producers say they want. Plus, the only person available who has worked before with the core team you already have, and knows the workflow. Also, the only person in possession of a number of location documents that I know you need, and that you don't have time to survey yourselves. And right now I'm leaning toward "leave it."

UPM - (sound of fingers drumming on desk) They told me you were going to say that. Okay, you can have your rate, we'll hide it somehow. Do you always negotiate like that?

Me - You know, it's never occurred to me to think of it in terms of 'negotiating.'


*UPM = Unit Production Manager, the hands-on-the-cashflow-spigot guy whose job is basically to say "no."
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TeufelIV
PostPosted: 2011-08-12 01:59am 

Youngling


Joined: 2011-08-09 11:42pm
Posts: 51
Kanastrous: That brought a smile to my lips.

< Current Comedian of the Hour Leaving a box packed with things> Hahaha I am leaving with company equipment. I am so totally going to steal and sell it off to the highest bidder. Just kidding.

Me: Hehehe that is pretty funny. Now you have to show me everything in the box because if it's true and I let you out without checking, we both are screwed. <Guy frowns gets a agitated look on his face> Me hahaha just kidding your boss already cleared you ahead of time. Your free to go have a nice day.

Yeah I was kind of a dick about it. But then again that sort of thing, with company he works for, is not that funny at all.
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The Yosemite Bear
PostPosted: 2011-09-07 09:08pm 

Mostly Harmless Nutcase


Joined: 2002-07-21 02:38am
Posts: 35211
Location: Dave's Not Here Man
sunday from the asshole boss of the dineing room.

AssBoss: What where you saying about me! *the chefs are right next to him*
me: I wasn't saying anything about you, I was just singing to myself.
Chef: Well what were you singing Colin?
me: Hey-na, Hey-na, Iko-Iko unday Jaq-a-Moe fee na nee no, Jaq-a-moe Feena nay.
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Kodiak
PostPosted: 2011-09-09 10:39pm 

Jedi Master


Joined: 2005-07-08 02:19pm
Posts: 1400
Location: The City in the Country
The Yosemite Bear wrote:
sunday from the asshole boss of the dineing room.

AssBoss: What where you saying about me! *the chefs are right next to him*
me: I wasn't saying anything about you, I was just singing to myself.
Chef: Well what were you singing Colin?
me: Hey-na, Hey-na, Iko-Iko unday Jaq-a-Moe fee na nee no, Jaq-a-moe Feena nay.


I'm not getting the reference on that song, if there's one to get.
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The Yosemite Bear
PostPosted: 2011-09-09 11:10pm 

Mostly Harmless Nutcase


Joined: 2002-07-21 02:38am
Posts: 35211
Location: Dave's Not Here Man
It's a NO Indian Mardi Gras song, about two groups of Indians fighting each other, basically a fun non-sensical song I learned in kindergarden (but like a bunch of jump rope songs, and nursery rymes it can have some darker overtones)
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LadyTevar
PostPosted: 2011-09-10 02:07pm 

White Mage


Joined: 2003-02-12 11:59pm
Posts: 17490
Location: Tahalshia Manor
Kodiak wrote:
The Yosemite Bear wrote:
AssBoss: What where you saying about me! *the chefs are right next to him*
me: I wasn't saying anything about you, I was just singing to myself.
Chef: Well what were you singing Colin?
me: Hey-na, Hey-na, Iko-Iko unday Jaq-a-Moe fee na nee no, Jaq-a-moe Feena nay.


I'm not getting the reference on that song, if there's one to get.
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