SD.net Spacefleet (RAR!)

[Simon_Jester]

Honestly, I think obsessing over the minutiae of the crew's biology just serves to point out what a silly distraction they are from the text of the RAR, and that they seem to exist purely to give Zor an excuse to put that sketch into the original post.

[KhorneFlakes]

A hideous sketch, to boot.

[Purple]

A hideous sketch, to boot.

I disagree. I kind of like it my self.

Speaking of witch, seems my plan to set up a breeding camp and breed an army over night are out. But on that note, how does this thing work? I mean even if we are all transported there are there enough of us that when we pool our crews together their species has enough members to retain long term genetic viability? Id hate to find my self the steward of a dying race.

[Shroom Man 777]

Live as one of them, Purple, to discover where your strength and your power are needed. Always hold in your heart the pride of your special heritage. They can be a great people, Purple, they wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way. For this reason above all, their capacity for good, I have sent them you... my only son.

[Connor MacLeod]

The minutiae of the crew's biology will allow me to be the licensed intergalactic distributor of post-organs though, and when your organoids reach their planned obsolescence expiry date, you'll have to come to me for brand new elfy pointy ears with hyperspace wifi connectivity and digital surround sound capability and ten kinds of sonar modes.

I think running a spaceship logistics thing would be cool. Like truckers, in outer space. There can be intergalactic truck stops with booze and hookers.

Man, imagine, these hookers will be default "blanks" physically. Because of the biodiversity of these space-trucks' crews, some are elfy pointy ear bald Zoroids, others are reptilioids like I described. So our hookers will be modular organisms, with just holes for ears, noseless, maybe Protoss-like with only vestigial mouths. And when they select their clients, so they can match their client's desires, they can then attach modular noses or proboscises or beaks to their faces, cosmetic pointy-ears or antennae on the sides of their heads, or wear detachable hairs or feathers on their skin. Like wearing makeup, except instead of lipstick and eyeliners, it's like detachable superficial organs and tissues. Lego-people.

IF we're going that route we're also going to need a space mafia. Guess I found my niche.

[Shroom Man 777]

I'll assume instant vaporization if you make the snitch wear cement space shoes.

[Connor MacLeod]

I was planning to encase him in iron and drop him into the Volcano of Mordor. Sure, it will piss off Sauron but I'm the Space Mafia. What is he gonna do to me?

Edit: I'm also going to do nothing but hire monkeys, seals and walruses, and some chickadees. Because they are the official animals of oppression.

Also am I the only person who thpught of the novel 'Falling Free' when they first read this thread?

[Darth Tedious]

Shroomy, your "blank canvas" space hookers immediately made me think of Camille from the Red Dwarf episode of the same name...

I was planning to encase him in iron and drop him into the Volcano of Mordor.

But would it be a spherical mass of iron?

[Shroom Man 777]

The great eye of Mordor looked up and saw a great flaming-

"Ball!" said Sauron, his necroporeal form suspended over the giant adamantine obelisk forged on the spines of eldritch entities borne from the secretions of Morgoth's dark god-organs as from the jagged magma seeping peaks of Mount Doom did his great scrying eye scythe the vast firmaments with seething pencil-thin beams of malignant ectoplasm reflecting off the surfaces of all objects glanced by the asmodian hellectronically scythed augury whereupon with these esoteric visions did he command his Nazgul subordinates to marshal the orc hordes at the 18th Osgiliath Parallel.

"You have been relieved of duty report to headquarters immediately for reassignment," the Witch King of Angmar hissed facelessly to Saruman.

"We must kill Iluvatar," said Vladimir Putin.

[Simon_Jester]

Also am I the only person who thpught of the novel 'Falling Free' when they first read this thread?

I'm pretty sure that's where Zor got the idea for the crew from...

[Connor MacLeod]

"We must kill Iluvatar," said Vladimir Putin.

I was just picturing a giant eyeball with a massive gray mustache watching the rock slam into the volcano, looking up, and shaking an intangible spirit fist telling those DAMN SPACE ELVES to get off his airspace.

But would it be a spherical mass of iron?

No. It would be a statue of John Rhys Davies. In Iron. Because nobody tosses a Dwarf and I intend to toss a facsimilie of a Dwarf.

Also am I the only person who thpught of the novel 'Falling Free' when they first read this thread?

I'm pretty sure that's where Zor got the idea for the crew from...

I'd much rather have a midget schizophrenic military genius than a cartload of space monkeys.

Its more like a cross between Falling Free and 'Banner of the Stars' anyhow.

[Zor]

Speaking of witch, seems my plan to set up a breeding camp and breed an army over night are out. But on that note, how does this thing work? I mean even if we are all transported there are there enough of us that when we pool our crews together their species has enough members to retain long term genetic viability? Id hate to find my self the steward of a dying race.

About 1,400 ships with a minimum crew size of 16. Yeah there would be enough.

Zor

[Shroom Man 777]

Their faces should be parabolic dish-shaped, with one ear higher than the other, giving them owl faces. Hoot hoot!

The feathers will also insulate them from the coldness of spess. Beaks can eat space food more efficiently than teeth, and will have less risk of teeth floating around loosely in case of zero gravity gingivitis.

Aha, instead of feathers they can get scales then, and their parabolic dish-faces will be partly done with a lizard frill. The act of molting off scales wholesale makes it neither as messy as feathers nor constantly-shedding skin. Their spacefood might not have to be chewed, or they eat food like owls or snakes by swallowing them whole - with or without the dislocation of the jaws. Owl-like poops will be more manageable due to their compactness too.

my humble submission

i changed the beak into a proboscis tho :v

[Connor MacLeod]

*snip image*

TRUMPY YOU CAN DO MAGIC!

[Purple]

Ewww! What is that horrible plastic looking thing with no fashion sense standing between those two fine gentlemen?

[Connor MacLeod]

actually thats my new online visualization of what Shroom might look like.

*runs and hides before retributuion arrives*