Australian federal election 2016

[Alkaloid]

Well it's that time again, and voting is well under way so it's time to start answering the important questions!

1. Will we see a majority government or another hung parliament and another 3 years of whining about mandates or lack thereof.

2. Will the LNP retain power, and if so how long before Turnbull is ousted as PM in favour of Morrison?

3. Will the ALP take power, and if so how long before the country falls apart under the weight of union corruption?

4. Will the Greens win more lower house seats, and if so will it be a result of electoral fraud or dodgy preference deals?

5. If this goes anything like the last QLD state election will Antony Green have a stroke live on national television?

6. Was the quality of the sausage sizzle at your polling place to an acceptable standard?

[mr friendly guy]

The sausage sizzle was very nice.

[mr friendly guy]

ABC have said we won't have a result tonight. Its too close. But it looks like either LNP victory with an even smaller majority or a hung parliament. This pretty much weakens Malcolm Turnbull's hand since he called an early election because he couldn't pass 2 key bills through parliament. This looks even more unlikely now even if they win.

[Korto]

Yeah! Stable government!

Almost makes me feel like fixing my enrolment one day.
But not today.


Bloody Morrison's already talking about 'mandates'. Bull fucking shit.

[Alkaloid]

Eh, Morrison has been desperately babbling about pre polling all night ever since it became clear that whatever result they get will be a disaster for the coalition.

Somehow they've managed to create a situation where One fucking Nation get 10% primaries in a LNP held seat.

[Dalton]

Last I checked ALP was four seats away from majority, 72-66.

[mr friendly guy]

Apparently One Nation is back in Queensland. Comedians are calling now for a Quexit.

What a shocker, Queensland. Although I hear these days they tend to criticise Muslims rather than Asians, what with the Asian scare of the 1990s totally leading to our subjugation by some foreign country who was also responsible for taking our guns *. To add insult to injury, Asian nations pay a paltry sum for our iron ore and other minerals. I mean its not our largest trading partner is an Asian nation.

* Yes One Nation back in the day claimed John Howard confiscated guns not because of the Port Arthur massacre but because it was a plot hatched in some foreign capital to make it easier to invade Australia. Because the seas between us and Asia are so easy to cross in large numbers.

[mr friendly guy]

ABC who I feel use a different methodology for predicting seats have LNP on 68, ALP on 67, others at 5 and 10 undecided with 79.6% of the vote counted. Looks like we're going to have to wait a few more days before results are known, and then some time for the horse trading that will occur.

[Dalton]

Looks like the Coalition may eke out a narrow majority, but they lost a shitton of seats

[Gandalf]

Yep. It looks like in a 150 seat parliament, they will have 76 seats.

I anticipate a new PM by October.

[Alkaloid]

Looks like the Coalition may eke out a narrow majority, but they lost a shitton of seats

Oh yeah, this was a colossal fuckup on Turnbulls part. His own support within parliament, minimal though it was, has been torpedoed and the senate is significantly "less manageable" (a phrase used by only by idiots who aren't capable of actual negotiation) than before and includes Pauline Hanson (apparently it's the 90's again?) and Derryn Fucking Hynch (who is the first sitting away from using parliamentary privilege to have whoever the fuck cut him off in traffic that morning lynched).

I anticipate a new PM by October.

As in they complete the count by October, or there is a spill by October and ScoMo takes over?

[mr friendly guy]

I have a feeling One Nation would be targeting TEH MUSLIMS more so than Asians, so not quite like the 90s again. At least once someone explains to Hanson just how big our trade with China alone is. Not that things like trade and other inconvenient facts stopped One Nation supporters, but I have a feeling a lot of people have moved on. Even the Reclaim Australia movement has a speaker starting off with introducing his... Asian wife. Don't you know, its DEM MUSLIMS, get with the program fellow bigots.