Evangelist Crowned King of the Jews

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Alyrium Denryle
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Evangelist Crowned King of the Jews

Post by Alyrium Denryle »

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/nationn ... -king.html


Eddie Long, pastor of a Georgia megachurch and no stranger to controversy, is learning the hard way that, as popular wisdom holds, it is indeed good to be king -- but it may not be all it's cracked up to be.

In a video that has gone viral, Long is named king by Ralph Messer, a self-described messianic rabbi from Colorado. As part of the ceremony, which has been roundly condemned, Long is wrapped in what is purported to be a 312-year-old Torah scroll. The video also shows him, while seated in a chair, being carried around the stage of his New Birth Missionary Baptist Church to the joy of an obviously enraptured congregation.

“He now is raised up from a commoner to a kingship,” Messer shouts as he watches what seems to be a teary Long, wrapped in a traditional Jewish prayer shawl, being carried.

Long once was one of the best-known televangelists in the United States; at its peak, New Birth claimed more than 25,000 congregants, with Long’s voice and image resonating around the world through sermons and broadcasts.

In recent years, several Southern televangelists fell from public grace because of their complicated personal lives, and Long’s public image has taken a bit of beating itself.

Two years ago, four young men accused him of coercing them into having sex, charges Long denied. Last year, the lawsuits were settled out of court and the terms have not been disclosed.

As for Messer, he describes himself on his congregation’s website as “president and founder” of Simchat Torah Beit Midrash -- a congregation and school based in Colorado. “With an Apostolic and Evangelistic anointing, Rabbi Messer actively teaches the Hebrew Roots of the Christian Faith.”

The congregation describes itself as “a community of Jewish and non-Jewish believers in Yeshua HaMashiach (Jesus Christ).” Messer doesn’t claim any connection to the more traditional branches of Judaism.

In the Old Testament, Jews do have kings, famously anointed by great prophets, as Samuel did for Saul.

But there is no Jewish ceremony in which a person is wrapped in a Torah scroll. The ceremony of carrying does not come from the Old or New Testament and does not exist as part of a coronation. It is usually associated as a celebratory gesture by European Jews to lift, for example, a bridegroom, above his brethren at a wedding.
I am not sure what causes me more pain/rage/stroke:

The "off-the-chart" level of surrealism, the christian heresy of essentially crowning someone the second coming of christ, the slap in the face to every single jew who has ever been killed at the hands of a christian mob/the holocaust, the desecration and reckless use of a priceless artifact, or the distinct possibility that said artifact is a forgery.
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Re: Evangelist Crowned King of the Jews

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

May this God bless America? He might not be the Jesus the Jews want, but he may be the Jesus those Georgians need, the Jesus they deserve. He has to run, because we have to chase him. Our silent messiah, watching over our city.
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Re: Evangelist Crowned King of the Jews

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I was all ready to write this off as much ado about nothing. Some guy fucking up the concepts of a couple of old religions is really no more meaningful than someone fucking up Tolkien lore or something. But his very deliberate invocations of the Holocaust and reference to the scroll covering as a "foreskin" have my WTF-o-Meter burying the needle only a minute in.

Oh man this is one of the dumbest things I've ever seen. Surreal.
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Re: Evangelist Crowned King of the Jews

Post by CaptainChewbacca »

You know what happened to the LAST guy they called 'king of the jews'...

Come on Christians, its stuff like this that makes me have to change the subject whenever someone at work asks what I did on Sunday.
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Re: Evangelist Crowned King of the Jews

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Shroom Man 777 wrote:May this God bless America? He might not be the Jesus the Jews want, but he may be the Jesus those Georgians need, the Jesus they deserve.
I think this is true, for they have fallen deep into heresy and madness. The fact that their religious leader is openly fondling the "foreskin of the Torah" is just added hilarity.
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Re: Evangelist Crowned King of the Jews

Post by ChaserGrey »

CaptainChewbacca wrote:You know what happened to the LAST guy they called 'king of the jews'...

Come on Christians, its stuff like this that makes me have to change the subject whenever someone at work asks what I did on Sunday.
Jesus. Yeah. And of Alyrium's alternatives, I'm going to have to go with #3- if only because 99% of Christians will just write this guy off as an assclown, but I think the hurt to Jews will be real. I mean, really- everything Christians have done to Jews over the past couple millenia, and now we just give them their king? How dare we? And as much as I want to write "how dare they"...I know this reflects on all Christians, little as we may want it to.
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Re: Evangelist Crowned King of the Jews

Post by Simon_Jester »

Well, I think explaining this as "he's a lunatic with delusions of grandeur" would be an important first stop for most Christians- it's not as if the Jews haven't had their own share of fake messiahs over the years, including Jesus himself under their own narrative.
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Re: Evangelist Crowned King of the Jews

Post by ChaserGrey »

Yeah, but mang. Sometimes there's just so very much fuckin' crazy going on, I wonder. How do you be American, Christian, and sane all at the same time?
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Re: Evangelist Crowned King of the Jews

Post by fgalkin »

He's the king? Well, I didn't vote for him!

Have a very nice day.
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Re: Evangelist Crowned King of the Jews

Post by someone_else »

I mean, really- everything Christians have done to Jews over the past couple millenia, and now we just give them their king? How dare we?
Even if they claim to be Jews i'm ready to bet anything that they are not anywhere near.

The US manages to fuck up horribly any kind of religion it finds. I'm sure you will find some fatass doing the same inane shit with a semi-indian religion or some kind of Islam.

Btw, where the fuck is the holy inquisition when you need it? The only good thing of Catholic was that they did their best to burn the heretics nuke this kinds of idiocy. GOD WANTS IT!!!! :luv:
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Re: Evangelist Crowned King of the Jews

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CaptainChewbacca wrote:You know what happened to the LAST guy they called 'king of the jews'...
Actually, nobody knows. Most likely he was killed when his fortress fell, but there is no body (probably because the Romans killed everybody and just couldn't identify the body parts).
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Re: Evangelist Crowned King of the Jews

Post by Simon_Jester »

I'm sure there've been maniacs with delusions of grandeur who made the claim since then. Most of whom probably wound up in padded cells or Inquisition torture chambers, though, so it's not like they'd have wound up better off.
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Re: Evangelist Crowned King of the Jews

Post by Alyrium Denryle »

Simon_Jester wrote:I'm sure there've been maniacs with delusions of grandeur who made the claim since then. Most of whom probably wound up in padded cells or Inquisition torture chambers, though, so it's not like they'd have wound up better off.
....

You have just given me a mental image of Torquemada walking into a Madrid cathedral in 1480 and seeing this. Said mental image involves him pulling a Conehead Scream (For illustration purposes of the sort of scream)



That is how... surreal this is. That Conehead screams are actually a tame way to describe what it invokes...
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There is Grandeur in the View of Life; it fills me with a Deep Wonder, and Intense Cynicism.

Factio republicanum delenda est
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