Here it is. The next chapter. Apologies on the wait, college is, well.... College.
Many thanks to my wonderful new beta reader-you know who you are...
And for those of you who thought I’d been skimming over Kara… Well, she’s not exactly a favorite character. However, for those who like her, here ya go. For those who don’t, I wrote her the way I think she should be written. Enjoy, and as always, praise and constructive criticism are always welcome.
Especially praise.
Chapter 12: Ice and Fire
“I hurt myself today,
To see if I still feel,
I focus on the pain,
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole,
The old familiar sting,
Try to kill it all away,
But I remember everything-”
-“Hurt” by Johnny Cash
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA,
PILOTS’ REC ROOM
Kara Thrace was sitting at a table, leaning back over the chair, and trying to soothe a headache that came from not sleeping. With flying CAP, late-night card games, and constant readiness, lack of sleep wasn't an unusual occurrence for the pilots, especially for her. What was unusual for Kara was that her tiredness was a result of late nights spent thinking, not drinking.
Why are the lights so frakking bright in here? Kara thought, as she rubbed her throbbing temples.
Or maybe it's just me. Frakking figures. I make a promise to someone, and the gods make sure I can't keep it. Are you even alive now, Sam?
She rested her head on the table, cushioned by her crossed arms. She would not cry. She was Starbuck, the pilot who chewed up Cylons and shat metal ingots. And. She. Would. Not. Let. Them. See. Her. Cry.
Not even over a Pyramid player probably becoming one with Caprica's irradiated soil.
And now there was a better pilot in existence than her.
That shook her more than she was willing to admit.
************************************
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA,
PILOTS’ REC ROOM
SEVERAL WEEKS EARLIER
When she first met Wash, he seemed like the kids she ignored in Secondary, the ones who watched the bad science fiction with the bumpy-headed aliens, and made sarcastic cracks in class and then tried to work up the courage to talk to the girls.
He came into the rec room with Helo,
what was he doing, frakkin' adopting people now? and a tall, beautiful black woman. Wash was wearing a battered vest with a loud shirt, and looked a bit like Leoben Lite, but one look in his eyes, and you saw the humor there.
Of course, one had to look, first. Starbuck, after three hours off-duty and numerous beers, wasn't having any.
As he walked over to the table where most of the other pilots were sitting, Kara blocked his way,
"Pilots only. You got wings, hotshot?"
The tall woman's eyes narrowed, and she started forward but the small man smiled and held up a hand;
"It's okay, honey," he reached into a Velcro pocket and removed an overflowing wallet. After flipping through various crumpled bills, grimy receipts and library cards from a dozen different worlds, he removed a card with a holographic cover displaying the face and particulars of one Hoban Washburne, stating that he was rated to control and navigate up to a Class V Starship, whatever that was.
"C'mon in, then."
Starbuck held up her hand again.
"She a pilot?" indicating the taller woman.
"She- is my wife-and we just want to have a nice, quiet, real beer."
The as-of –yet unnamed wife of Hoban Washburne gave Starbuck another one of those looks that could melt through a bulkhead and kill anyone on the other side of it.
"Names' Zoe. I'm a pilot," she said, in a quiet, dangerous voice; "Of sorts. Might be I just pilot your ornery, half-soused ass into a bulkhead, less you step aside, and let my man and me have that nice drink we were looking forward to."
Kara nodded, "Fair enough, have a nice time, Hoban."
He just smiled, and stuck out his hand.
"Most everyone calls me Wash."
She ignored it, but grudgingly stepped aside.
"Huh," said Wash in a stage whisper, as he passed, "Didn't know they let the bouncers drink, high-quality establishment like this one."
Starbuck pretended not to hear. She went back to sit down, and watch the odd couple, who were by now introducing themselves around the room. Wash seemed a gregarious, affable sort, and Zoe a bit quieter, and she had looked at Kara like she could see exactly what she was thinking.
What the frak does she know?
The banter of the other pilots drifted over to her table, and Starbuck could hear Kat flipping that Top Gun mug lid in that same, annoying way, heard Hotdog's guffaw. She was wondering why she couldn't be a part of them when the answer reared its very attractive, and by now, probably dead, head.
Sam. The one man, aside from Zak, who had loved her, warts and all.
And I killed him too.
Starbuck drifted off for a bit, and must have fallen out of her seat, because the next thing she saw was a pair of feet in long brown boots, and pants leading up to an empty holster on a leg. And a brown hand reaching down to her too-pale-from-artificial-lighting one.
"It's not gonna bring him back, you know," said an even-toned voice.
Kara ignored the hand.
"What are you? Frakking psych-ic?"
"No," Zoe said, as she sat down crosslegged on the deck. "Might be that River, you know, the mentally traumatized 17-year old girl wandering the halls is, but I'm not."
She jerked a thumb back at the buzz coming from the back of the room, "They're worried, though, even if they ain't exactly gonna come out and say it. Pilots.-" She sighed, "I oughta know, I married one. Most of you never talk about anything that bothers you."
"And your Wash does?" Mumbled Kara.
"Sometimes my man does talk too much for his own good, but I appreciate the candor. That being part of the reason I married him."
"And of course you know exactly how I feel, you being familiar with the ins and outs of military service. What, exactly does a merc know about fighting a losing war? You get paid regardless." Said Kara sarcastically, fully aware of Zoe’s service in Unification War, hoping she would provoke a fight.
Zoe didn't get angry; she did something crueler. She looked at Starbuck with pity in her eyes.
"This isn't about Sam Anders, anymore. This is about you, Kara Thrace, breaking a promise. You still think you're the only one with problems, don't you?"
"I was pro Army, fought in six years of war, shot my share of Purplebellies, slit more throats and looked into the faces of more boys and girls killed by my own hands than I care to remember. Some folks, they fight a war long enough, they get hot with hate, or just plain burned out. What happened to me, that was more rare.
I went cold. Got so’s I didn’t feel anything, anymore, them Alliance soldiers became as numbers. I called them ‘sticks.’ No more cause, or noble ideals, I kept breakin’ sticks, getting’ farther away from the old me.
I stopped meeting the new fish, cause they kept gettin’ killed-”
Kara nodded,
Just like those rook pilots.
Zoe continued, “Then, we got pulled off the line, and the Sarge, new guy, a vet repped in offa Dyton, took the platoon out for a brew, some kinda craphole tavern. He cracked the old jokes, sang the old songs badly, then took a minute and got to introducing himself to every single soldier.
That was the first time I met Mal. He believed in what we were doing, fighting to just live, to go our own way, and he looked in my eyes, nodded once, and we got to talkin’. He brought me back from the edge, believing in a cause worth fighting for; the other soldier’s lives.
Then we went back to war, and you can be damnsure I lost friends, and broke promises, and I have to live with that. First week of Serenity, all the officers got waxed, by snipers, mostly and Mal just kinda took over. Had around five thousand. To begin with, and by the time we got done holding the line, 'bout a hundred fifty walked out, into the POW camps, and our stand was forgotten.”
Kara's jaw dropped. That was more than a fully-crewed Battlestar.
“A bunch thought-bunch
knew, they weren't gonna make it. Whaddaya think Mal and I told them? 'Yeah, you're gonna die?' This is war. People die, people you care about and love, and make promises to. The only thing you can do is protect them as is still alive and near to you at the end of the day, and fight like hell for the memories of those who went before.
You sitting here, wallowing in self-pity and bad booze, ain't exactly helpin' your buddies."
With that, Zoe got up and walked away, boots clicking on the ready-room floor. Her tone had stayed calm and even through the entire talk, face expressionless.
**************************
Starbuck should have learned, but, as soon as she sobered up, she asked Wash to demonstrate his rumored piloting skill. Although he had not yet demonstrated any of the typical "egotistical pilot" tendancies, when she mentioned a training flight around the asteroids, his eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store and he started going on about how cool the Vipers looked.
She had him. This was Kara’s playground now.
After a quick familiarization and sim run, to make sure he didn't get himself killed, (or, worse from her point of view, destroy a Viper,) they were in two Viper Mk II's in adjacent launch tubes.
“’Starbuck here, everything in the green.”
“Wash, saying Hi! Everything looks good from here!”
Dee came on;
“Wash, Starbuck, Ego flight, cleared for launch.
Wash cleared his throat, crackling over the wireless,
“Uhm, Dee? don’t you mean Eagle flight?”
“Not according to Temporary Officer of the Watch Zoe Alleyne Washburne.”
“Dong Ma?”
Zoe’s voice came on, and Starbuck could feel the silent laugh in those melodious tones all the way from the CIC.
“Mag-lock secure, initiating launch sequence. Have a nice flight, dear.”
“Starbuck” couldn’t help but smile as she was hurled down the launch tube into space.
*****************************
Wash was just having fun with the new toy, making some basic mistakes early as he familiarized himself with how the Viper handled, babbling to himself, and anyone who would listen to him, all the way. Then he countered the spin, and raced off into the asteroid belt, with a “Yee-Haa!” and Kara close behind. The race, such as it was, was on.
They threaded their way through the belt, Wash’s lead gaining, flying around the larger asteroids and smaller particulates, even though it would only take a fist-sized chunk of space-rock to hull a Viper. As they pitched toward a section of erratically spinning asteroids, Starbuck began hearing calm, even breathing on Wash’s channel;
“Sniffle-” as he inhaled deeply, then she heard, in an even tone
“I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar.”
Kara, Starbuck in the cockpit shook her head.
The frak does that mean?
She brought her head back around in time to see Wash’s thrusters flare up, his Viper picking up even more speed as it juked and jinked through the asteroids.
Crazy bastard. Thought “Starbuck.”
Well, today’s a good day for crazy.
She rammed her throttle into the redline, and gripped the stick even harder as the gee-forces knocked her back into the synthetic material of the pilot’s seat.
Thirty seconds later, she realized that wash was a better pilot than she was, about the time a rock about the size of a Cylon Raider she couldn’t avoid started spinning towards her as she dodged between two others.
Kara had just started thinking it was a hell of a way to die, when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Wash’s Viper, already flying through other asteroids, swap tail for nose as the twin 30’s on his ‘plane, firing a mixture of armor-piercing and High-Explosive ammunition, turned the asteroid into a rapidly expanding, and somewhat less-solid fireaball, which she flew through. Wash was still threading his way through the asteroids,
backwards, until he cranked up the throttle, and began heading out of the belt.
Her radio, silent during the whole race so far, crackled again.
“Wash here. I think it’s time to call it a day, Captain Thrace.”
Kara, a cruel remark about cowardice trapped behind her now-pale lips, simply said, in a small voice,”
“Roger that. Confirm RTB.”
Kara had now threaded her way up and out of the ‘Belt, heading towards Galactica.
And thank you, Hoban and Zoe Washburne, for bringing me back from the edge. Frak me, but I need a drink. So I’m not going to have one…
***************************************
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA,
PILOTS’ REC ROOM
PRESENT DAY
“Captain Thrace?” Tigh’s voice came from behind, reaching into the dark space behind her eyes.
“Yes sir.” Her voice, muffled as it was by her sleeves, head still down on the table for all of one second, as she stood and saluted with parade-ground precision.
As Tigh returned the salute, he swept a gimlet eye over her face, taking in the matted hair and dark circles under her eyes.
“Good Gods, Thrace!” He exclaimed, “Have you slept a wink this week?”
“’Bout a Half-a-Wink, sir.” Kara replied, a weary smirk pasted on her face, “How’d you guess?”
Tigh ignored the attempt at banter.
“The Old Man’s planning a mission, and he wants the best.”
Said Tigh, as he walked over to the coffee machines and grabbed a mug.
“You up for this?” He asked, turning the tap on the coffee dispenser, letting the rich aroma spread through the room as the mug filled.
Coffee was a luxury item in the fleet, and was rated as an “essential military good” by the Admiral. The pilots had yet to run low.
Tigh took a bag of Arillon Morning Tea from a tray by the coffee machines, as he waited for Kara’s answer.
“Yes sir. One hundred ten percent, sir.” Responded Kara, as Tigh began to dunk the tea bag into the already-full coffee mug.
“Aaah, don’t give me any of that eager cadet crap, Thrace.” Tigh groaned, “Take a minute, sit down, and drink this.” He held out the mug. “
Then head to the briefing room.”
Kara’s nose wrinkled at the mixed odor coming from the mug.
“Uhm, Colonel? What the frak is that?”
Tigh smiled, a once-in-a-lifetime event, as far as she was concerned.
“I was hoping you’d ask,” he asid, “It’s called Cofftea. Old trick I picked up in the First War. Tastes worse’n floor cleaner, and has three times the caffeine of anything this side of stims. Kept me goin’ on Latewatch, should serve as well for your mission.”
He turned to leave, but as he walked out into the corridor, the X.O. put his hand on the doorjamb and turned back to her.’
“Oh. Kara,” he said, evil grin on his face, “Anyone asks what I told ya, you tell ‘em I booted your ass straight out of your seat, all the way up to the briefing room. A man’s gotta keep up his reputation.”
Kara took a sip of the nauseating drink, nearly gagged, and drew her fingers across her lips, ‘zipping’ them, and tossed Tigh a wink.
The older man shook his head, grinning ruefully, and walked out of the Rec Room.
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