SD.net Seapower (RAR!)

NeoGoomba · Post by **NeoGoomba** » 2008-02-13 03:59pm

Shroom Man, save your posturing for Queen Dopulpopolous. At least I shall be contributing Elerium-115 to our grand cause whilst you choose to impede the glory of Sacred Red Mars!

CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2008-02-13 04:27pm

NeoGoomba wrote:Shroom Man, save your posturing for Queen Dopulpopolous. At least I shall be contributing Elerium-115 to our grand cause whilst you choose to impede the glory of Sacred Red Mars!

What the fuck are you talking about?

Mr. Coffee · Post by **Mr. Coffee** » 2008-02-13 04:31pm

I'd rather know what drugs he's on so I can score some for myself.

NeoGoomba · Post by **NeoGoomba** » 2008-02-13 04:51pm

CaptainChewbacca wrote: What the fuck are you talking about?

Shroom Man's Sealab reference, plus my own X-Com wackiness rolled into one incomprehensible post!

Besides, I didn't think there was any need for being coherent in a thread like this.

CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2008-02-13 05:02pm

NeoGoomba wrote:
CaptainChewbacca wrote: What the fuck are you talking about?
Shroom Man's Sealab reference, plus my own X-Com wackiness rolled into one incomprehensible post!

Besides, I didn't think there was any need for being coherent in a thread like this.

If you aren't coherent, how can you tell people where the hookers and blow are?

NeoGoomba · Post by **NeoGoomba** » 2008-02-13 05:05pm

CaptainChewbacca wrote:
If you aren't coherent, how can you tell people where the hookers and blow are?

Conceeded.

*hangs head in shame*

Havok · Post by **Havok** » 2008-02-13 05:28pm

NeoGoomba wrote:
CaptainChewbacca wrote: What the fuck are you talking about?
Shroom Man's Sealab reference, plus my own X-Com wackiness rolled into one incomprehensible post!

Besides, I didn't think there was any need for being coherent in a thread like this.

I'm actually a little surprised this thread has gotten to 7 pages.

Lancer · Post by **Lancer** » 2008-02-13 05:32pm

So, to sum up this thread, we have Mr. Coffee leading a bunch of miscreants in the form of the People's Republican Navy of FuckYeah, a bunch of people flooding the market with their ships, others looking to turn their boats into sea-going rice-burners, Shep looking to redecorate portions of the Middle East with glow-in-the-dark glass, no word on the Duchess or Elfdart yet, and HAB looking to "expand their portfolio."

Mr. Coffee · Post by **Mr. Coffee** » 2008-02-13 05:52pm

havokeff wrote:
NeoGoomba wrote:
CaptainChewbacca wrote: What the fuck are you talking about?
Shroom Man's Sealab reference, plus my own X-Com wackiness rolled into one incomprehensible post!

Besides, I didn't think there was any need for being coherent in a thread like this.
I'm actually a little surprised this thread has gotten to 7 pages.

Well, having something as awesome as Task Force Cuntpuncher pop up tends to make threads become awesomer, homie.

Matt Huang wrote:we have Mr. Coffee leading a bunch of miscreants in the form of the People's Republican Navy of FuckYeah

Heh... "Miscreants". I like the sound of that.

CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2008-02-13 06:08pm

I've got it! Our national anthem should be 'Immigrant Song' by Zepplin.

Scottish Ninja · Post by **Scottish Ninja** » 2008-02-13 06:12pm

Here's another question as for the OP: where do we start out? Where do our ships pop up? I'm considering trying to start a fic based on this.

Heh... "Miscreants". I like the sound of that.

We need to create an Office of Miscreantry - or, perhaps, a Federal Inspectorate of Miscreantry.

Lonestar · Post by **Lonestar** » 2008-02-13 06:17pm

I guess I'll grab a LHD(The Makin Island) model).

The name of the vessel shall be the Iron Duke. I plan on departing to the hidden location that all the members of the Mess will be assembling at.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2008-02-13 06:23pm

Matt Huang wrote:Shep looking to redecorate portions of the Middle East with glow-in-the-dark glass

Just the parts with no oil.

Kodiak · Post by **Kodiak** » 2008-02-13 06:26pm

I'd like to throw my lot in with the PRFYNAFBTFC

Announcing the arrival of the MFS Frigate of Pizazz +2 vs. Douchebags!

I'd like to submit my linguistic skills for the office of "Chief Sweet-talker and Shy Wimmins Coaxer" or "Minister of Hooligannery and Justification".

I can't wait to see these fireworks.

The Spartan · Post by **The Spartan** » 2008-02-13 06:38pm

Mr. Coffee wrote:
The Spartan wrote:Definitely some place tropical where I can get tanned, dark haired women to rub me down while I sip on fancy cocktails served in hollowed out coconuts.

Plus I can go diving for shellfish and lobster...
Well, we're already taking over Cuba... How about Puerto Rico?

Hell, why not both?

Civil War Man · Post by **Civil War Man** » 2008-02-13 06:49pm

Mr. Coffee wrote:Soon strong men will cower in terror, hot babe will get all squishy in the panties, and small children will want to grow up to be a Pirate when Task Force Cuntpuncher comes in sight of land...

Your ideas intrigue me. I would like to sign up for your newsletter. The Arleigh Burke-class Destroyer Devourer of Worlds is at your disposal. We're the one with the painting on the side of the fire-breathing bear in spiked armor riding the genetically engineered shark wielding chainsaws in the arms the mad scientists gave it.

It's unfortunate that I'm not at 2499 posts, because then it would cause my Arleigh Burke to spontaneously transform into the Virginia-class Attack Sub simply by participating.

Oh, and hav, I have a drawing idea for you if you aren't already sick of the bizarre over-the-top requests you get. If you want, I'll make a formal request in your thread.

Mr. Coffee · Post by **Mr. Coffee** » 2008-02-13 07:24pm

CaptainChewbacca wrote:I've got it! Our national anthem should be 'Immigrant Song' by Zepplin.

See... I'm liking this one too. Maybe we can use For Those ABout To Rock as our Party Raid/International Prank warm up song, Yackity Sax for post-Raid/Prank shenanigans, and the Immigrant Song as kind of like something we play when ever some batch of hapless non-awesome assholes come hailing range of Task Force Cuntpuncher.

But for an actual Antheme we can play before sporting events and when we just feel like pulling our cocks out and rocking like Awesome Pirates should, we can rewrite the lyrics to America, Fuck Yeah... Like "The People's Republic of... FUCKYEAH! Coming again to raid your motherfuckin' booze, yeah!" or some shit like that.

To much? I dunno, my meds are working real good right now and I'm popping out AWESOME and BADASSERY like it was free...

Scottish Ninja wrote:We need to create an Office of Miscreantry - or, perhaps, a Federal Inspectorate of Miscreantry.

See, I like it when people get proactive and shit like that. Show's they have the sort of Awesomitude it takes to commit random acts of Badassery. Though I think the official PRFYNAFBTFC title for the head of the "Ministry Of Micreants" should be "Lord High Fuckstick McMiscreant".

Man, these are some groovy drugs they got me on...

Kodiak wrote:I'd like to throw my lot in with the PRFYNAFBTFC

AARRRRRR! Welcome to Task Force Cuntpuncher where Happy Hour is EVERY HOUR.

The Spartan wrote:Hell, why not both?

I like the way your thinking, homie. You got your head on right.

Civil War Man wrote:Your ideas intrigue me. I would like to sign up for your newsletter. The Arleigh Burke-class Destroyer Devourer of Worlds is at your disposal. We're the one with the painting on the side of the fire-breathing bear in spiked armor riding the genetically engineered shark wielding chainsaws in the arms the mad scientists gave it.

AARRRRRRR!!! Welcome to Task Force Cuntpuncher where if the fun ever stops we go blow shit up!

AVAST and ARRRRRR! The People's Republic of FuckYeah Naval Awesomeness Fleet of Badassery Task Force Cuntpuncher has the Mighty penis, the Yandere, the Cossette, the Alec Guiness, the Bitchslap, the Robber Baron, the Bumbling Hierophant, the Mastubating Walrus, the Devourer of Worlds, the Frigate of Pizazz +2 vs. Douchebags, and the Anus Pervasor looking for lulz in all the wrong places!

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2008-02-13 08:02pm

To Wit; Comrade Sheppard's laydown for the Gaza Strip:

1 x B61 Freefall Strategic Bomb fuzed to 500 kilotons airbursted at a height of 2,811 feet

4 x B61 Freefall Strategic Bombs fuzed to 100 kilotons airbursted at 1,476 feet.

Pink is the extent of thermal radiation, red is the extent of 500 REM zone; airblast (20 PSI), extends a bit further out from the 500 REM zone.

Airburst heights are those calculated from 1977 Effects at which local fallout ceases to become a concern plus 30 percent.

West Bank:

West Bank:
Jenin: 1 x 100 kt B61
Nablus: 1 x 100 kt B61
Ramallah 2 x 100 kt B61s

Total population in the target areas is 1,675,512

If we assume same proportion as Hiroshima, it comes out to:

418,878 dead
452,388 injured
871,266 Total (52% of preattack population in targets; and about 23% of total palestinian pop in "occupied" territories)

Post by **Simplicius** » 2008-02-13 08:11pm

Matt Huang wrote:So, to sum up this thread, we have Mr. Coffee leading a bunch of miscreants in the form of the People's Republican Navy of FuckYeah, a bunch of people flooding the market with their ships, others looking to turn their boats into sea-going rice-burners, Shep looking to redecorate portions of the Middle East with glow-in-the-dark glass, no word on the Duchess or Elfdart yet, and HAB looking to "expand their portfolio."

Good sir, when I say yacht, I mean this:

Perhaps, after thousands of hours in MS Paint, I may well be able to protray Insouciance in her full glory. But for now, accept Delphine.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2008-02-13 08:31pm

*Frank Hipper appears next to shep's head wearing a devil's outfit, like in those old Cartoons*

Devil Hipper: "You missed a spot, you realize."

Shep: Where? I can't totally carpet the place because of limitations on casualties in Israel etc.

Devil Hipper: "Everything east of the Armistice line to the Indian border. No Arabs, no Israel, no Saudi Arabia, No Syria, no problem! Nuke it! Nuke it ALL!"

Shep: What about the oil?

Devil Hipper: " 'Tis underground, and therefore safe, and ripe for the plucking!"

Shep: What about the infrastructure to pump it out?

Devil Hipper: "Infrastructure shminfrastructure, it can rebuilt with ease with the problems, i.e. the people, gone."

Civil War Man · Post by **Civil War Man** » 2008-02-13 08:41pm

I believe that, since we are a primarily naval-based nation, our anthem should be Go Into the Water, if only because it would make the beginnings of our sporting events so awesome, the game itself would be bland in comparison. Plus, imagine it playing every time one of our athletes wins the gold at the Olympics.

We call out to the beasts of the sea to come forth and join us
This night is yours
Because, one day we will all be with you in the black and deep
One day we will all go into the water

Go into the water
live there die there
live there die

We reject our earthly fires
Gone are days of land empires
Lungs transform to take in water
Cloaked in scales we swim and swim on

We are alive, and we'll metamorphasize
And we'll sink as we devolve back to beasts
Our home is down here, and we've known this for years
We must conquer from the sea, we build an army with water steeds

We'll rise, from our depths down below
Release yourselves, drown with me
We will conquer land with water

Gone are days of land empires
Lungs transform to take in water
Cloaked in scales we swim and swim on
We swim on
We swim on

Havok · Post by **Havok** » 2008-02-13 08:45pm

Hey Shep...uh... shouldn't there be an Angel Hipper too?

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2008-02-13 08:46pm

havokeff wrote:Hey Shep...uh... shouldn't there be an Angel Hipper too?

Scottish Ninja · Post by **Scottish Ninja** » 2008-02-13 10:11pm

it would make the beginnings of our sporting events so awesome, the game itself would be bland in comparison.

Then we must invent new games that are so badass that they once again eclipse our anthem in awesomeness!

I had some good ones, but only for land-based stuff. I'll toss up some ideas right now though:

Minefield running. We get (pirate up) some fancy yachts and run them through a minefield at maximum speed. We'll have to paint them all sweet-ass with racing stripes and everything, and the mines will have to all be the old kind with the chain and all the spikes and shit.

Speedboat paintball. Need I say more? If we need more excitement we can throw in a few of the mines left over from the previous event. I get the feeling people would pay a lot of money to see a speedboat get blown fifty feet into the air.

Jousting from dolphin-back - or sharks.

Mr. Coffee · Post by **Mr. Coffee** » 2008-02-13 10:44pm

Civil War Man wrote:I believe that, since we are a primarily naval-based nation, our anthem should be Go Into the Water, if only because it would make the beginnings of our sporting events so awesome, the game itself would be bland in comparison. Plus, imagine it playing every time one of our athletes wins the gold at the Olympics.

YES! That song is 97.4 shades of AWESOME and it first the whole maritime theme of sailing around in search of asses to kick, babes to lay our macks on, and booze to pillage. We'll alternate every other raid/prank with that and For Those About To Rock... And use which ever of our anthemes best for our post raid/prank manly victory arm pumping right before the nightly thermonuclear firewroks show and cocktail hour.

Scottish Ninja wrote:Then we must invent new games that are so badass that they once again eclipse our anthem in awesomeness!

I had some good ones, but only for land-based stuff. I'll toss up some ideas right now though:

Minefield running. We get (pirate up) some fancy yachts and run them through a minefield at maximum speed. We'll have to paint them all sweet-ass with racing stripes and everything, and the mines will have to all be the old kind with the chain and all the spikes and shit.

Speedboat paintball. Need I say more? If we need more excitement we can throw in a few of the mines left over from the previous event. I get the feeling people would pay a lot of money to see a speedboat get blown fifty feet into the air.

Jousting from dolphin-back - or sharks.

I think I just blew a load... A load of AWESOME! See, now this is the sort of shit the PRFYNAFBTFC needs to do just because we're the only guys badassed enough to do it. That was so awesome I think after we get done turning Cuba into our very own Frat House of Doom +1 and depopulating Puerto Rico of it's Rum and Wimmins, I'll let you figure out whose coastline we're gonna have our way with next...