NFL 2012

[GuppyShark]

Kaepernick <3

[Flagg]

Farewell Chad JOHNSON. We won't miss you.

[GuppyShark]

Speaking of 85...

I'm watching the Sound FX episode featuring him.

There's a great bit where the Bengals are on the goal line and Chad tries to block a Raven, but ends up on his back for his troubles. He stays down, and when one of the Bengals linemen come over to help him up, he has only one thing to say:

"I hit Ray by accident."

[Thanas]

Well, who can blame him. Ray Lewis seemed to hate him and always seemed to get a particularly nasty tackle/block on him.

Also, WRs covering LBs is fun only for 50% of the people involved.

[Elfdart]

Farewell Chad JOHNSON. We won't miss you.

Apparently he headbutted her after finding a receipt for condoms in the car:

"Who the fuck are these Magnums for? I only wear Stubbies!"

[Flagg]

Farewell Chad JOHNSON. We won't miss you.

Apparently he headbutted her after finding a receipt for condoms in the car:

"Who the fuck are these Magnums for? I only wear Stubbies!"

Ocho Cinco is his dick length in milimeters.

[Falkenhayn]

These replacement officials are whale shit. How you determine that a punt which is downed on the 4 yd line, is actually a touch back...

Also, chuckles at Mike Terico, for his comments on the interception which ended the Dallas-Oakland game. I don't know if we've got any D-Boys fans in this thread, but you've got my sympathy for whatever the fuck that was.

[Elfdart]

GODDAMNIT!

After a slow start which saw the Dallas Cowboys jump out to a 10-0 lead at halftime, the San Diego Chargers rallied for 28 points in the second half to come away with the victory.

Charlie Whitehurst had a fast start in his preseason debut, marching the home team down the field to start the second half. The drive eventually ended on a beautiful strike to Vincent Brown. Unfortunately, Brown suffered broken left ankle on the play and had to be carted off with the Cowboys leading 10-7.

I fucking hate preseason!

[Thanas]

The Ravens currently have 13 injured players, including the two starting TEs, Torrey Smith, Jimmy Smith and of course Terrell Suggs.

[Col. Crackpot]

Farewell Chad JOHNSON. We won't miss you.

Apparently he headbutted her after finding a receipt for condoms in the car:

"Who the fuck are these Magnums for? I only wear Stubbies!"

Ocho Cinco is his dick length in milimeters.

about as many millimeters as he had catches last year.

I for one am quite excited for this season. If you count the tight ends, New England has the best damn receiving corps in the league. NE has a healthy Tom Brady. Also what appears to be an easy schedule on paper, but i'm no fan of plugging in last years numbers to determine strength of schedule. And the defense has a year of seasoning after the 'grew up' in the playoffs last year. Ideally i'd like a Superbowl rematch, but...

[Elfdart]

The Ravens currently have 13 injured players, including the two starting TEs, Torrey Smith, Jimmy Smith and of course Terrell Suggs.

How did they lose so many? I thought contact was limited in training camp.

The "good" news is that Brown might be back by November. The bad news is that Ryan Matthews will also be out til then.

I for one am quite excited for this season. If you count the tight ends, New England has the best damn receiving corps in the league. NE has a healthy Tom Brady. Also what appears to be an easy schedule on paper, but i'm no fan of plugging in last years numbers to determine strength of schedule. And the defense has a year of seasoning after the 'grew up' in the playoffs last year. Ideally i'd like a Superbowl rematch, but...

The only thing you have to worry about is O-line, now that the Bills and Dolphins have added stud pass rushers.

[Thanas]

The Ravens currently have 13 injured players, including the two starting TEs, Torrey Smith, Jimmy Smith and of course Terrell Suggs.

How did they lose so many? I thought contact was limited in training camp.

Just seems to be one of these years....last year we did fine, but this year....man. The starting tight end right now is Billy Bajema. I am afraid, but hopefully a lot of them get back by the start of the season.

[Falkenhayn]

Shawne Merriman has received his walking papers.

That's some more slack in next year's coffers, which we're going to need to resign Jairus Byrd and Andy Levitre, nor was he a contributor in any meaningful way. His replacement is a 4th year journeyman-type that was promoted from the PS last season.

[Havok]

Think Merriman is done ED?

[Elfdart]

Think Merriman is done ED?

Unless someone can magically restore his knee, yes.

[Tsyroc]

Anyone have a decent O-line they want to give to Arizona?

I'm sure they'd be willing to give you an expensive, injury prone QB who used to occasionally play for the Eagles.

[Elfdart]

Your line looks bad, but you have a QB who looks like he's lost all confidence.

[Thanas]

I'm sure they'd be willing to give you an expensive, injury prone QB who used to occasionally play for the Eagles.

Clearly the answer is to trade for Michael Vick.

[Flagg]

I'm sure they'd be willing to give you an expensive, injury prone QB who used to occasionally play for the Eagles.

Clearly the answer is to trade for Michael Vick.

I dunno, he's looking pretty bad. Time to drown him in a bucket.

[Thanas]

Jonathan Vilma is a giant pussy. Who knew.

One might almost say Vilma would like to earn a bounty on him.

[Flagg]

He's lucky he wasn't banned for life. If I were NFL Commissioner he and the rest of the scumbag cunts doing it would have been.

[Thanas]

Yeah. At this point I am actually cheering for Goodell to just ban the whole lot of them. Just to send a message that when the commish decides to be merciful to your cheating scumbag franchise you better not throw it back into his face.

Oh, speaking of scumbags:

Cedrick Wilson gets arrested for beating his girlfriend? You better cut him to show what a class organization does in response to such an offense. James Harrison does the same thing? Well shit, he's a Pro Bowler. Santonio Holmes has one too many weed infractions to be a part of this model franchise, but it's totally cool to draft Mike Adams who tested positive for marijuana at the god damn combine. That's the Steeler Way, exactly the same as everyone else. Dan Rooney must thank his lucky stars everyday for the Bengals ability to get arrested so the Steelers can somehow appear to be on a moral high ground.

[Thanas]

From the same series:

Over the last two years our head coach has revealed himself to be a major asshole. And not just the run-of-the-mill football coach kind of asshole, but also the lowlife scumbag kind of asshole that you see playing video poker by himself at 4 am in Harrah's. First, there were the "allegations" that Payton and other coaches on the team were stealing vicodin from team doctors, which were almost certainly true. This was swept under the rug immediately by the organization, and no one wants to acknowledge that our coach's brilliant play-calling ability is probably the result of drugged-induced sideline hallucinations ("Look at all the colors!").

Second, there was the Bounty "scandal," which would've resulted in a few wrist slaps from Roger Goodell if Coach Nixon hadn't piled lies on top of lies in order to conceal the truth. (The truth, of course, is that Gregg Williams is the worst motivational speaker AND worst defensive coordinator to ever fall ass backwards into a Super Bowl.) Third, and finally, Payton divorced his wife of nearly twenty years this summer and was seen not a month later grinding on co-eds in the Bahamas. This is wrestling heel behavior, not Hall of Fame coach behavior. If you're going to repeatedly do shitty things like this, at least have the smarts not to get caught. I know Belichick got caught in Spygate, but he probably has bodies buried in the endzone at Gillette Stadium, only you'll never hear about them because the guy's an evil genius. Sean Payton might just be evil.

[Thanas]

HERE WE GO GOP, HERE WE GO.

[Havok]

Oh, speaking of scumbags:

Great read.