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Shroomanian universities to design NPS powerplant

The ISCA has just announced a 200 million USD grant to Shroomanian universities and nuclear companies for design of a pressurized-water reactor for use in the Nuclear Passenger Ship.

"Shroomania has the necessary experience in building naval reactors",the ISCA spokesman said,"And so we feel it was a good investment to contract them for this R&D project."

Other contracts will be awarded for crew training and facility development in N'Ton, which will produce the first NPS testbed vessel.

Constantinople Times

News Headlines
Government authorises more funds for Nuclear Institute
The Nuclear Institute tabled a proposal to build an experimental Fast Breeder Reactor (FBR) costing 2.0 billion. During parliamentary debate, the Government agreed to supply an additional 1 billion on top of the existing funds. The project is expected to span the next 1-2 years.
"Nuclear FUsion may be the future, but certainly, we should exploit all technolgies to the fullest of potential." says the director of the institute.

Government announces interest in setting up a Special Forces arm in the military. Will send 100 soldiers to Red Technocracy for training

Government announces interest in procuring new weapons
The Government has announced that of the 13.25 billion allocated to the military, the Government has set aside 3 billion for procurement of new weapons both from domestic and foreign sources. Domestic companies have put forwards proposals to upgrade existing hardware with newer electronics which will be considered. The Government is interested in procuring new helicopter gunships, air transports and air gunships and coastal and air defence systems. Tenders are requested. The Government favorably views any deals that include local assembly and construction, in an effort to boost the local defence industry and know how.

The Red Technocracy accomodates Byzantium's soldiers in it's training complex.



There are press rumors that this is an International Rapid Reaction OMSK Anti-Terrorist Unit being trained.

The composition of the unit, as well as it's armament have not been specified so far. The Commitee for Defense could not be reached for comment on the issue.

Possible OMSK Expansion Rumored!


The Security Council conference is deliberating a proposal from another Archipelago state right now.

[Fingolfin: Dude, you can send your spec ops to Shroomania and have them train with the Mushroom Marines. They worked in Syndromia with the Red Technocracy's troopers, and fought Cloverfields in the Bear Republic! Don't worry, Mushroom Marines shall be sent to the RT to join in training for that anti-terrorism force.]



The Mushroom Military Messenger
KILLBOT KRISIS


Massive international air raids begin in the shattered skies of Zablania!

The full military might of the FUNGAL AXIS and the OMSK Pact was brought to bear on the genocidal killbots of Zablania as the Shroomanian Air Force led the way, bombarding targets designated by Blackadder reconnaissance aircraft into robo-rubble and cybernetic scrap.

Though Shroomania led the FUNGAL AXIS in declaring "war on the machines" after the death of Zablorg at the hands of genocidal robots, the other military powers of the world has joined in and humanity prepares to wage the largest multinational airstrike in the history of the New World.


The killbots counterattack by sending their robots to the skies (photo taken by UKB high-altitude recon plane)

But the airforces of the FUNGAL AXIS and the OMSK Pact were answered by the rage of the machines as the killbots, thought to be restricted to the land, opened up their arms and took to the skies - engaging in an aerial battle of dominance after the initial human strike smashed their surface-to-air defense grid.

The radiowaves, though initially were dominated by obnoxious Celine Dion music played again and again by the machine mance, were liberated as the maverick renegade pilots of the SAF showed the robots just how dangerous they were - the Shroomanian counter-jamming was vital in ensuring that the robot fliers crashed and burned... in their ass.

An excerpt of the SAF's electronic response to the killbots:

Body...wanna feel my body?
Body...such a thrill my body
Body...wanna touch my body?
Body...it's too much my body
Check it out my body, body.
Don't you doubt my body, body.
talkin' bout my body, body,
check it out my body

Every man wants to be a macho macho man
to have the kind of body, always in demand
Jogging in the mornings, go man go
works out in the health spa, muscles glow
You can best believe that, he's a macho man
ready to get down with, anyone he can

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Macho, macho man (macho man)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! Ow....

Macho, macho man
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man (yeah, yeah)
I've got to be a macho!

Body, its so hot, my body,
Body, love to pop my body,
Body, love to please my body,
Body, don't you tease my body,
Body, you'll adore my body,
Body, come explore my body,
Body, made by God, my body,
Body, it's so good, my body

You can tell a macho, he has a funky walk
his western shirts and leather, always look so boss
Funky with his body, he's a king
call him Mister Eagle, dig his chains
You can best believe that, he's a macho man
likes to be the leader, he never dresses grand

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Macho, macho man
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! (all right)

Macho, macho man (yeah, yeah)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! All Right!

Ugh! Macho..baby!
Body, body, body wanna feel my body,
Body, body, body gonna thrill my body,
Body, body, body don'tcha stop my body,
Body, body, body it's so hot my body,

Every man ought to be a macho macho man,
To live a life of freedom, machos make a stand,
Have their own life style and ideals,
Possess the strength and confidence, life's a steal,
You can best believe that he's a macho man
He's a special person in anybody's land.

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Macho, macho man (macho man)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! (dig the hair on my chest)

Macho, macho man (see my big thick mustache)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! (Dig broad shoulders)

Macho, macho man (dig my muscles!)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho!

Macho, macho man
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! HEY!

After the successful sortie, the SAF landed in the friendly FUNGAL AXIS airfields of the Grand Duchy of Vanaheim.


Where they let off some steam by playing beach volleyball.


And are relieved by New Gottland fighters bound to join in bombing Zablania back to the stone age.



This has been a world-wide broadcast brought to you live by Shroom-Sat TV!


WOULD YOU LIKE TO LEARN MORE?

PEZOOKIAN KING ARRIVES IN SHINRA

King Paul The First arrived in the Shinra Republic today, as part of a series of planned visits to countries which provided aid and support to the Republic during the Astoria Hostage Crisis.

The King shall meet with president Shinra and offer his personal thanks for help in rescuing the hostages from Terra Libertia. Later, a meeting with soldiers participating in the operation is planned, as well as families of soldiers killed during the operation.

The PeZookian delegation will spend two days in Shinra, and then leave for Shroomania, and later the Red Technocracy, United Kingdom of Blackadder and other friendly countries.

PARLIAMENT DISCUSSES JOINING THE FUNGAL AXIS

Again, the question of applying into the Fungal Axis was discussed in Parliament today. Citing the benefits of such an alliance, and the fact that the LUN and the FA are already nearly 100% unified, representatives of the Industrialist party have proposed the Republic joins the Fungal Axis, and reaps the benefits of such a move.

Opponents of the proposal cited the suspect mental health of Shroomania's Prime Minister as the principal reason for caution.

The Parliament is to hold a vote after the King returns from his goodwill trip to friendly countries, after asking the King his opinion. It has been suggested, though, that the King discuss this matter with the Prime Minister during his visit to Shroomania.

As the Titans were obliderated, their self-destruct systems activated, collectively blowing Zablania's entire surface to an unnatracive landscape of scorch-marks.

Their final broadcasts could be heard entire nations away even over the roar of the planes;

Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you,
That is how I know you go on

Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're one

Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

There is some love that will not go away

You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Shady News

Weapons shipment arrives from the Red Technocracy

A shipment of 50 An-26, 20 BTR-60 and 5 MiG-21 fighters arrived today and put a smile on the emperor's face. "This is just the beginning and we hope to continue our trade with the Technocracy"-said the emperor.
Emperor Shady was so happy with his new weapons that he sent a special gift to the leader of the Red Technocracy, a large throne.

And a scepter to go with it."I think he will like it"- said the emperor.

In other news, the Shadow Empire is announcing interest in sending some of it's pilots to the Shroomanian ACE pilot school for training.

The Emperors message to all nations participating in the Zablania strike

I am glad to see that the operation is proceeding as planed. When you are ready for the deployment of ground troops let me know, I'll send the boys to join in the fighting.Zablorg must be avenged.
Give them hell boys!

OMSK expansion: Crossroadia has been accepted into the OMSK upon request, by a decisive Security Council decision

See the latest Alliances map (shift+reload it!)

It it notable that Crossroadia is not very militarized; instead, it wants to work on it's peaceful projects and make scientific breakthroughs, devoting their peaceful labour to research while feeling safe and secure behind the strong wall of OMSK protection.

It has made good contacts with Byzantium and Red Techocracy on the SuperCollider project.

The Security Council welcomes the new member and assures that the benefits of entering O.M.S.K. will fully apply to the nation of Crossroadia.

Zablorg wrote:As the Titans were obliderated, their self-destruct systems activated, collectively blowing Zablania's entire surface to an unnatracive landscape of scorch-marks...

King Arik Coyotus-I looked up, hastily wiping the chocolate pudding away from around his eyes. The big plasma screen TV in the suite was on, with Emperor Zablorg on it, of all people.
"What the hell?" he mumbled. His date turned around --she was quite limber-- and was equally surprised.
"I always liked Titanic," she said.

"Yeah," Arik muttered, "Me too." He got back to his more pleasant task, reminding himself to call off the Marines tomorrow. I also owe Atlantis a new bearskin rug, he thought absently.

Ground Level View Taken by Royal Marines prior to depature.


T+ One Hour ten minutes since Recon Flight
Vice Admiral Gordon glanced around the conference room. He had two annalists, the ships Captain, the Major in charge of the fleet's Marine detachment, and via satellite communications the respective heads of the Shroomania, and Mess military's. OMSK forces were still in route to the battlezone.

Good evening everyone, ok lets kick this off. We have ID as many as six hundred human survivors in this city here, plus we need to extract the surviving Zalbania military force if possible near the Capital and see if we can ID any remaining civilian forces
The Major spoke up at once. "For sure we can get those out at this broadcasting tower, should be easy to zip in and out with some Helo's land and extract them. The only concern will be any AA in the area. A question from the satellite broke in, "This is Major General Yu with the Tian Xia forces, I believe our solution lies in a target zone."

Come again General Yu?. "It is very simple Admiral, between our forces we have access to some 241 combat craft if my estimates are correct?" The admiral looked to the annalists who both nodded. They are General, what are you suggesting?. "We face two problems supporting the efforts of the human survivors and extracting the people in the broadcast tower. We shall simple give these "Titan"s to many targets to worry about to notice a half dozen helo's terrain flying in from the south. To give maxim time on target we will space our strikes five minutes apart and keep our plans airborne as long as they have the fuel.

He could see the plan shaping up in his mind already, the Shroomania representative was nodding on his screen as was the Major and his annalists, We are in agreement make it happen

They fell to discussing specifics.


T+Two hours twenty six minutes since Recon Flight
They lifted off two at a time, the already orbiting Kc-10's keeping them topped off as they flew in mass towards the Zalbania coast.

F-14's, F/A-18's, F-22's, F-35's loaded to bear, E-2's and EA-18G's turning the scopes into hash as their Jammers kicked in as they crossed the coast. High above and trailing the formation were Tu-160's laden with enough explosives to mount an Arch-Light strike or three. From the north came F-22's and C-130's loaded with enough MOAB's to equal a small nuke.

And off to the side almost un-noticed came a dozen transport Helio's backed up by Cobra's and Apaches leading the way.

They hit the side like a great tide, the Fighter bombers diving to ensure maximum accuracy as they strike at targets of opportunity, a formation of Titan's piling up bodies in a square there. A dozen wrecked cars the Titan's were dismantling for some reason or another. There a large stack of crates that ignited a good forty foot fireball, munitions of some kind. They peeled off for a second pass, cannon's opening up on any visible targets near the train-station and apartment complex.

And barely five minutes later the trailing Tu-160's hit, in one great convoy in the sky they hit a two mile wide cordon around the train-yard and the residential complex. Tons of debris were tossed into the air, once great buildings fell like they were made of matchsticks.

Dozen's, perhaps as many as two hundred rockets went to meet them, the vast majority from Sa-7's at near max range, they represented little threat even without the tons of chaff being liberally dropped by all planes and the jamming of the E-2's and EA-18G's. However there were some SA-8's in that mix and they proved more successful, only a dozen were launched before the Anti-radiation shut them permanently. But not before they got two hits.

One F-14 diving for an attack run on a tower gutted by fire, had to vear sharply up as three Sa-7's from the tower targeted, only to run directly over a SA-8 launcher. The missile failed to aquire it's target and in fact acquired the last bunch of chaff the F-14 had dropped instead. It's the only thing that saved that pilots life as the missle detonated a good hundred feet below him and shrapnel hit his plane, killing one engine and shredding control links. But worse starting a rather fast fuel leak. Having no choice the pilot pulled off left the fight. The AWACS watching the fight tasked a second F-14 to escort the wounded bird back to Pezookian airspace.

A F/A-18 from Shroomia was less lucky, while attempting line up on a SA-7 launch site he over-flew an SA-8 site hidden building with a missing roof. It acquired it's target just fine and blew the plane from the sky. It got off two more launches and achieved no hits before a Mess F-22 silenced it with his main-gun. The secondaries taking out the building it was hiding in.

T+next post

T+Two hours thirty four minutes since Recon Flight
Captain Price looked over the dozen troops spread in the CH-46. The rest of his troop was spread over all six UKB helio's in order to reduce casualties. Most of the carrier marine force had been brought with him. Off to his left other Helio's carried squads from Shroomian military and a few scratch teams from the Mess's military.

He had a bad feeling that this was going to be mayhem at best. Only about four hours worth of planning, most of that wasted since the standard side-arms are useless against these "Titan" bastards. His men were armed with as many Grenade launchers and TOW missiles as they could carry and they had reload's on the chopper. And that was few enough, quite a few ships had empty locks since his fleet wide raid had been conducted just an hour before take-off. Anything 20mm or more. There were using a mishmash of borrowed Shroomian heavy weapons, like the TOW's. Who thinks to bring Anti-tank weapons on a bloody ship duty? No one that's who.

To late now, the load master was calling out they were five minutes from the target, no fire yet, a bloody miracle that. No enemies sighted either... The craft seem to shudder under him, must be the Tu-160's going in on the city over four miles away and still the shock waves reached them here. And just think we get to go in there next...

"Thirty seconds!" The barrels on the chain-guns started spinning up ready to provide covering fire, the door Browning's searching for targets.

"Go Go Go!"
They hit the ground the ramp already extend, a half dozen wrecked cars were in the parking lot, a crater near them and the shiny metal laying around indicating a Titan that had self destructed. A smell, human remains nearby, burning from what he could tell from the order. "First squad, second Squad, perminter around the building, third and fourth squad secure that building!" He shouted above the roar of the helio's propeller wash. He sat down to observe the action, everything was going to well, something had to foul up.

T+Two hours forty one minutes since Recon Flight
"How did you survive?" asked Captain Price They were out-bound the civilians had been evacted succesfuly, twenty station workers, the two young ladies running the daycare and seven children.
The man who had address the question responded. "We got lucky for some reason they only sent up four to the station. We took out two by setting the cars on fire as they came by, we had dumped a few hundred gallons of fuel in the parking lot after the report came in about the attack on the Capital. Marcos got the other two, he rammed them with the station van, but that set off that self destruct and Marcos bought it along with the van."

"Have you seen any since then?"
"No, we've been lucky, no idea why but they left us alone" said the man who's name was Gregory and the former station manger. Marcos had been the local TV weatherman apparently. No fire sustained, no causalities, this had been a cakewalk of a mission. As the Helio flew back towards the carrier Captain Price reflected that they still had the train station to evacuate. That was going to be bloody hell.


T+Three hours thirty minutes since Recon Flight
The City was in ruins, buildings smashed, fires raging, the occasional secondary explosion. The place already looked like Stalingrad in 1943. The C-130's were about to make things worse. Flying from Pezookian or directly from UKB air-space, two and a half squadrons came in sweeping over the bay. The Sa-7's could not shoot high enough, the Sa-8's long since gone. They came in precise formation, each MOAB dropping in a grid formation aimed by the UKB GPS system, each bomb landed within five feet of it's intend target point. And two and a half square miles of terrain was knocked flat around the train-station. The buildings that had been heavily damaged by earilier bombing runs were reduced to utter rubble piles, a mile and a half around the train station looked like a lumpy plain, small hills marking where multi-story buildings had been. And on this helio's of the combined military landed.

Like ants they came, thousands, perhaps ten's of thousands of Titan's came swarming from beyond the blast area. Fighter's strafed them with cannon, the F-22's escorting the C-130's dropped bombs on them. But still they came surging towards the helio's firing as they came. The soldiers on the ground dropped smoke to deny them clear shots, despite that the shear volume of fire and perhaps some computer assisted targeting resulted in casualties, a graze there. a chance hit there. Some went down only to get right back up, others went down and did not get back up.

It was for this possibility that the UKB four Tu-160's had been held in reserve, far above the battlefield they turned and released bombs hitting the area's already bombed but now swarming. No ordinary bombs these, each one capable of leveling a half dozen soccer stadiums. Each one equivalent to a small nuke, they hit and brighten the day, miniature mushroom clouds bloomed and that flat plane added a lot of metal scraps to it.

The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel
ALLEGIANCE ANALYSIS


The PaleoPacifists and RetroRegressives wear different bandannas to signify their political stances.

"No! No! No"! the RetroRegressive Party cried as one. "We do not want them in the FUNGAL AXIS! They can keep their hoes and their seeds to themselves! We do not want those monarchists and we do not want a King amongst us! Nor do we want communists! Or Libertopians! They can take their share and Fast Commerce Ship it up their -"


The Speaker of the Prime Minister silences the RetroRegressives before any untoward statement can be made or completed.

"We disagree with the RetroRegressives, as usual," came the PaleoPacifist response. "We would love to forge stronger bonds with our friends in the II Republic and our allies in the League. We have seen what great achievements our nations can do when we band together under a single cause. The problems that plagued us all last year, and the problems that encroach upon us in this new year, would be too much for one nation to bear - but with our allies, we can toil together and sweat and work our buff biceps and triceps and ripped abs together, pumping iron as one. We can forge a peaceful coalition that does not flex its muscles through military means, but through literal means. We can shower in our prosperity together!"

The PaleoPacifist response was met with much applause in Parliament, and even the Prime Minister nodded his head in solemn agreement.

The RetroRegressives tried to counter the PaleoPacifists once more, but ended up getting booed out of the Parliament building.

Shroomanian strategists have suggested that a more cohesive union between the FUNGAL AXIS and the LUN would benefit both groups extremely. The FUNGAL AXIS is one of the most diverse international alliances, with a variety of cultures, peoples, economies and political conditions, and the II Republic and the League have shown fortitude and strength despite the toughest and most challenging of times, and despite their relative small size, they have time and time again spoken with a united voice that is heard throughout the world and universally regarded with respect.

While even Shroomanians often wonder of the suspect mental health of Shroom the 777th, many see that his friend King Paul the First serves a strong counterpoint, with the King's renowned reason and moral fortitude contrasting and complimenting the eccentric and unorthodox Shroomanian Prime Minister - and that while both are very different personalities, the two world leaders have been shown to be compassionate men sharing a genuine desire for world peace and stability.

Pundits have joked that the two are a match made in heaven, if it were not for King Paul the First's wife.

"Besides, we know that the Prime Minister is a bit dim when it comes to math and economics. If we end up with a unified economy with PeZookia, I'm sure all us would be a bit relieved really," said a sweaty Shroomanian citizen who was interviewed as he performed calisthenics and pumped iron.



THE FUNNY PAGES:

Royal Air Force 1
--Landing at Canissia


Arik got off the plane, back in Canissia. His first assistant was still napping, so he came down the stairs with another, who paused for some photographs while the King answered some serious questions of the media.

--One of King Arik Coyotus-I's lovely assistants demonstrates to the world why it is, indeed, good to be the King.


"What is the Canissian stance towards Zablorgia?"
"Well," Arik said, "I'm thinking that once we rescue the people that remain there, we should concentrate on salvaging that which can be useful, and then we quarantine the area for civilian use until we are sure that the robot threat is gone."

"Why is that so important, Excellency?" the reporter asked, "Can we make peace with the robots?"
"I don't believe so. They can't be bargained with, they can't be reasoned with, they don't care if you beg. They will just come at us until we are dead because that's what they do," he warned, his eyes hard and cruel for a moment. "Besides," he said after a sip of water, "If the robots win, we'll have to listen to Techno."

"I thought they preferred Celine Dion," one reporter quipped.
"Don't let them fool you. That was to lull us into a false sense of security, I'm certain of it."

"What sort of reports are we getting back from Zablorgia now, sir?"
Arik brought out an enlarged picture of a recent phot-recon of Canissian aircraft overflying the island. It was a blasted, brown landscape where lush, green jungle once thrived.
"As you can see in this photograph, the area of much of Zablorgia has become a barren wasteland. What we face now is not so much a military threat, but a potential need for ecological damage control."


"We are going to work closely with all interested nations to see to it that something positive comes of this. But in the meantime, for safety, civilians --except government researchers-- should stay way until we know the danger has truly passed."

(OK, I am going to give this GDP thing a try. I hope I don't mess it up too badly. PeZook let me know what you think.)

Minister Of Finance: Sire, here is the status on the Duchy’s financial status for last year.
MOF: As you can see Sire, we took in more than we spent last year. Even with the building of 2 Light Brigade Combat Teams for the Army. We have, however spread the payments for the transport aircraft over to this coming year to minimize the damage to the budget.
General Sanguinius: Excellent. Has the rearmament of the military been factored into this?
MOF: A very small amount, Sire. Since the order to rearm the military came at the very end of the year, the majority of that spending will be reflected in this year's budget.
General Sanguinius: Is that going to hurt us or help us?
MOF: It will not be that bad Sire. With the expected increase in oil revenues due to the increase in production and processing, it will more than offset the cost of rearming the military. We should actually see an increase in the amount we make versus the amount we spend.
General Sanguinius: Great. What would happen if we decided to change the status of portions of our Army from active duty to reserve status?
MOF: It would al depend on how much of the military goes into reserve status.
Minister of Defense: Would it be better to put the heavy or light forces into reserve status?
MOF: It would make a greater positive impact if the heavy forces went into reserve status since it does cost more to maintain the armored forces than it would to maintain the light forces.
General Sanguinius: Minister of Defense, this year I want you to change the 1st Heavy Brigade Combat Team to a reserve unit, but keep the 1st Airborne and the 1st Air Assault on Active Duty.
MOD: As you wish, Sire.
MOF: Now then Sire, here is the economic data for the Duchy.
MOF: As you can see, our citizens are pretty well off.
General Sanguinius: Not bad, not bad at all. I think the Duchy is heading in the right direction. Excellent work everyone.

ZABLORGIA--

Rescue operations-- and armed reconaissance hunting for any unexploded robotrs-- continued. Some military units were specifically tasked with seeking out areas of likely habitation by survivors.


So far, however, results have been mostly disappointing. There were very few people left after the robot uprising, and as allied military units sweep the once-lush island in precise grid searches, the prospect of rescue for many becomes increasingly slim.

Generous nations have stockpiled supplies in anticipation of a flood of refugees, however, it looks as if most of the donated aid will, in fact, be un-needed.

Most of the boots-on-ground work is being done by members of the FUNGAL AXIS, since Zablorgia had been a member nation. While some thought had been given to sharing any potential harvest of advanced robot technology, expectations have fallen due to the extremely thorough means of self-destruction used by the robots.

BBC Reports

The following picture was release by the Army Press today. Showing the interior of a train station in Zalbania where a scratch group of the local Zalbania nation guard joined with local citizens and stood off a dozen wave of "Titian attacks"

At this time the reported casualties count of all country's involved stands at 29. Nine Shroomian soldiers died when their helicopter was brought down by anti-air fire in the highest death total to date. The break-down is as follows.


Two Xian Tian Soldiers were lost rescuing the trapped army unit north of the Capital. One airman was lost as well
Four Lonestar Republic Soldiers were also lost in that same rescue effort
Fourteen UKB Soldiers were lost in various areas, two UKB Airman when their Cobra attack helio was shot down.
Eleven Shroomian Soldiers, Nine in that helicopter, two lost to ground fire

We don't have much more information at this point but we do know that the military has switched over to a pure bombing campaign at this point. As well we are receiving unconfirmed reports the "Titan's are self destructing in large amount in some part of the countries.

More to you as this situation devolops.

What is Being Deployed in Saddamistan?
CHEAP, HIGHLY-MOBILE NEW SCUD LAUNCHERS RUMORED IN DYSTOPIC, MYOPIC AND HERMIT-LIKE NATION

LOCATION UNKNOWN, SADDAMISTAN
The nation of Saddamistan, run by a mysterious, reclusive guy that has been described as "like the dude at the hardware store that makes keys" has reportedly been deploying new, highly-mobile SCUD missile launchers that are not only extraordinarily cheap, but fairly hardy, if a bit stubborn.

The report, a top-secret file from which only this one photo has been released, shows the shadowy Republican Guard escorting the new SCUD launcher to a secret launch site. The agent that took the picture has since managed to escape Saddamistan before he could find out what life was like in a prison, where he would risk beiong "Saddam-ized".

More on these disturbing developments as they become available.

Minister of Entertainment: Sire, in an effort to keep up with King Arik, we have located what we believe to be a suitable “assistant” for you. With her impressive skills she will not only be your assistant, but she will double as a body guard.
General Sanguinius: Oh, crap. You had better not have gotten me someone that looks like that Helga from American Gladiators. So help me God, I will shoot you on the spot if she does. I have an image to maintain.
MOE: Don’t worry Sire. I believe you will be pleasantly surprised. She is a Mixed Martial Arts Fighter who specializes in Muay Thai. Her name is Gina Carano, but she like to be called Crush.
MOE: Sire, please stop drooling on the carpet. It is very expensive you know.
General Sanguinius: Um, um, um, um, oh yeah. Crush, it is a pleasure to meet you.

NewsTon
News by the Metric Tonne

Q4 2008

N'ton-PeZook Copper Development moves to Phase 2

N'ton metallurgical engineers report that they have completed an extensive survey of the II Republic copper mines, and are prepared to invest upwards of 19 million dollars into the development of these lucrative copper mines over the course of fiscal year 2009. The ore will be shipped to a refinery built next to a large preexisting integrated steel mill in the II Republic.

This work upholds the N'ton end of a bargain struck between the PeZookian and N'tonian government, in which the II Republic would license the design of the Fast Commerce Ship and derivative designs to N'ton shipbuilders in exchange for the expert assistance of N'ton metallurgists in extracting and refining copper deposits on PeZookian soil.

NewsTon
News by the Metric Tonne

Q4 2008

Drunken N'ton mechanic increases Sabre Jet Engine output

A hung-over mechanic returned to work today to continue work on a Sabre Jet Engine prototype, only to find that all the fuel input valves had symmetrically installed 80 degrees off center, so that fuel now swirled into the engine core instead being injected straight in. The engine still ran perfectly. This, he said later, appears to have improved the engine's efficiency and thrust by about 4%. Technician, engineers and physicists are still researching how this occurs, but they believe that the alteration improves the mixing of the fuel and air.

Another group of students plans to include the change in their nearly complete conversion of the hydrogen-powered jet engine to a gas turbine, possibly for use in vehicles.

NewsTon
News by the Metric Tonne

Q1 2008

Protests over nuclear-powered test-bed passenger vessel

A small group of activists is protesting outside the capitol building against the future construction of a prototype nuclear-powered passenger vessel. The police have been instructed to distribute information pamphlets about the ship to the protesters.

A spokeswoman for the government declined to comment.

On the Zablanian Robot problem, the Prime Minister noted that the distance to Zablania was so great as to put the problem almost out of mind.
“It’s not our war,” he said, “so let’s not fight in it.”

The Parliament, struggling to grasp political matters while still really hung-over, none the less approved the request from Canissia to join the ISCA in an overwhelming majority.

They also applaud the rescue of the PeZookian student hostages and the first successful manned space launch.

Meeting Room, Presidential Office, Republic of Mangka

"The MESS police advisors were going to check out the police stations in the West District of Wanhua," Yenchin clicked on his mouse, going through the slides, "Most of the stations there are connected with the Tongs of the Five Star Gang...." The VP glared at the Chief Director of Police, the Chief sighed and shook his head.

"However, the dead people found at the scene did not have connections to the FSG, the police have checked their prints. Might be some noobs though."

The Minister of Interiors began to flip his pen. Bored, impatient, as usual.

"Yenchin, show us the related documents." The Chief said, "It was meant to be a suprise inspection. The whole thing was classified. But the attack seemed well prepared. How would the attackers know?"

"Oh we know how suprising these 'suprise inspections' are." Yenchin rolled his eyes.

"Um...?" The VP looked at the President's aide. Yenchin's cheeks burned.

Q's taunting also came up to his mind. "You're a goddamn president's aide! Try leading your nation this way! Muwahahahahahaha!"

"I have to point out that anything involving with the MESS or other international inspections starts from the President's office, that means you." The VP's voice kicked Q's out of Yenchin's mind, then she added, "Too."

Not to mention that every step and person beneath were hand picked, they were clean, clear, and cooperative.

Short silence.

"We might need the military police to handle this." The Chief Director wasn't happy in saying it. "Our International Affairs Department is clean but lazy, the Investigation Bureau has ties with the Military Intelligence, which is now basically FSG turf. The MPs are all clean and competent."

"Ok, call the MPHQ after this meeting. Also, don't forget to inform our MESS allies who're in the advisor group."

Yenchin carefully chose his words. "Ma'am, I think it is a good time to suggest my..our little project again. We're still working on this year's budget, so we can write it in..."

"I totally agree. I think everyone here would back it up. The main problem will be the Legislative Hall though...."

Mangka Daily News

Vice President Determines to Establish ICAC

[Wanhua] Earlier today, after a meeting with the Minister of Interiors and the Chief Director of the Police, Vice President Yuki Amami made a statement on the recent attack on the MESS Advisor Group. In the statement she condemned the attackers for bringing shame on the nation. She then expressed deepest condolences to the families of the police officers who died in the incident.

In the ending proportion of the statement, the Vice President announced her determination of the establishment of the Independent Commision Against Corruption (ICAC). "We need a grindstone to sharpen our claws so that the rats could be ridden. The ICAC is that grindtone."

While the ICAC isn't news, it has been extremely hard to establish such an authority. The Legislative Hall, regardless of political party, has always boycotted it, citing "power abuse", while citizens have been skeptical, thinking it as "just another cash sucker". The Vice President, in her announcement, urged the people to closely monitor this year's budget review in the Legislative Hall. "Citizens of Mangka, it's time for you to wake up. Only when you wake up, you'll recieve the sunshine. If you don't care, no one cares."

This is the 2nd time an important announcement has been made by the Vice President. The last time was when she announced the update of the island's railway and development of Port Shingang. Observers pointed out that like the ICAC, these were long, dragging "mostly talked but no action" projects. But now with the finishing of a new Port Shingang and the new trains testing on their tracks, it seems that the nation has finally begun to move on.

Vice President Yuki Amami: Citizens of Mangka, it's time for you to wake up.

General Sanguinius: Crush, could you come in here please?
Crush: Yes, sweetie.
General Sanguinius: Don’t call me that here. Just when we are alone.
Crush: Sorry,sweet…I mean Sire.
General Sanguinius: I need you to take down an official memo.
Crush: Go ahead.
General Sanguinius: Please send this and the 2 cases of rum off to Pezookia as soon as possible and notify the Minister of Commerce and the Minister of Finance about our purchases.
Crush: Of course, Sire.
General Sanguinius: Thank you, Crush.

BBC Reports
"In International news the South Sea Fleet is still conducting SAR missions in Zalbania and providing recon to the Anti-Machine Alliance in the area. More
information as the situation continues"

"Also in International news the Atlantis launch complex will be completed next week with opening ceremony at the end of the month."

"In National news the 50th satellite was launched from White Sands today. The Space Agency has enjoyed a 95% reliability rating with only two failed launches and one aborted start during the entire life of the program. It's expected over the next two months the GEO Weather satellite system will come fully online. This system is funded by OMSK and FUGAL Axis investment and will be available to all member nations free of charge."

"Also in National news the FUGAL Axis has reached an agreement to allow usage of UKB GPS system, each member nation will pay a small fee(Estimates have been at 5 million dollars a year for military use while Civilian use in these countries is free). This system has already been internally used by OMSK patch members at no charge."

SADDAMISTAN DEVELOPMENT OF MOBILE BALLISTIC-MISSILE TRACKING STATION OFF TO A ROUGH START

--SADDAMISTAN, UNKNOWN LOCATION
Somewhere in the labrynthine depths of the Saddamistan ministry of military technology, there is a plan for hordes of cheap, rugged transports for missile-tracking stations, but it is far from fruition.

This photo, smuggled out of the reclusive country at great risk to Saddamistani double-agents, shows that the theater ballistic missile transporter still has a ways to go before it can be reliably deployed to the field.

"The failure of this important piece of technology in field tests is astounding," one unnamed Saddamistan researcher was reported to have said, on condition on complete anonymity. "It is based on a proven and reliable troop-transport frame."

LIBERTOPIAN COMBAT-UNICYCLE BRIGADE ("CUB-FORCE") FORWARD-DEPLOYED TO ZABLORGIA; TENSIONS RISE

"The Goddamn Libertopians are at it again," said Prime Ministrer Shroom of Shroomania as the 1st Libertopian Combat-Unicycle Brigade forward-deployed to the blasted remains of Zablorgia. The CUB-force, as it is called, is generally believed to be used for scouting and reconaissance, as well as the speedy delivery of suicide-vest wearing midgets.

"They are small, fast, and hard to hit," a field officer from the Mushroom Marines said to the Royal Canissian Daily, "And with only one wheel, they decrease by half the probability of being sidelined by a flat tire. Let us make no mistake, these little kamikazes are dangerous."

The above photo is a file photo taken during a Libertopian military parade.