Treknology

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-07-15 01:25am

Or they do know what's wrong with the core but can't do a damn thing about it until 2-4 of the ten highest-ranking officers on the ship come all the way from the bridge down to Main Engineering, only to save the day in the 45 seconds.

yes and then the trash will have wiped several of the isoliner chips and only Data can reprogram the chips before the core blows up. and he does it it in amazing 45 seconds (15 seconds to spare).

Moonstone Spider · Post by **Moonstone Spider** » 2002-07-15 01:45am

And it owuldn't be called a "deck of cards". It would be called a "organized collection of 52 computer chips used for gabling and/or entertainment purposes".

Nonsense. That makes some sort of sense, and you can figure out what they are from that description. The proper Treknobabble description would be more like "Anti Gravitonic Teraquad Recreators."

StarshipTitanic · Post by **StarshipTitanic** » 2002-07-15 03:24am

I bet they don't even say "I gotta crap" anymore. It's probably more like: I am compelled to excrete.

StarshipTitanic · Post by **StarshipTitanic** » 2002-07-15 03:24am

I bet they don't even say "I gotta crap" anymore. It's probably more like: I am compelled to excrete.

LMSx · Post by **LMSx** » 2002-07-15 03:45am

And if I'm so wrong about the Imperials, how did you know they were the ones I was calling Space Nazis?

Of course, you are right, you *were* referring to Star Trek, right?

His Divine Shadow · Post by **His Divine Shadow** » 2002-07-15 03:56am

John Clark wrote:Oh, I beg your pardon, HDS! How would you suggest I "get my head out of my ass"? Is this a Palpatine-style "Join me or die!" ultimatum you're issuing? Either I throw myself on the ground, grovel and howl that the Space Nazis are the best, or you ban me? Is that it?

As long as you get your head out of your ass and stop trying to type messages by banging your balls on the keyboard it's enough for me.

His Divine Shadow · Post by **His Divine Shadow** » 2002-07-15 04:01am

StarshipTitanic wrote:I bet they don't even say "I gotta crap" anymore. It's probably more like: I am compelled to excrete.

Not longwinded enough.
It's more like "There is a huge amount of processed nutrients rapidly approaching my anus, captain, request permission to perform core-dump."

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-07-15 04:13pm

It's not Treknobabble until it's 5 times longer than it's English counterpart and almost impossible to understand with out a dictionary

StarshipTitanic · Post by **StarshipTitanic** » 2002-07-15 06:24pm

No, 5 times as long as English and you CAN'T use a dictionary to decypher it.

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-07-17 05:40pm

right technobable is the art of saying something cool and still meaning absolutly nothing

arctic_series · Post by **arctic_series** » 2002-07-19 06:27pm

i don't see why geordi always has to roll under the gate that's about to shut on the entire engineering system coz' some ensign sneezed on the warp core and caused a anti-matter containment failure.

/me wonders if anyone's ever left behind.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2002-07-19 06:34pm

A Kleenex would become....

A disposable macroscopic nasal particle arrest device. They would be designed to be squeezably soft....

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-07-19 06:37pm

Master of Ossus wrote:A Kleenex would become....

A disposable macroscopic nasal particle arrest device. They would be designed to be squeezably soft....

make that last part "would be designed to be squeezably soft...." it is still understandable, not techobabble enough

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-07-19 06:39pm

Isolder74 wrote:
Master of Ossus wrote:A Kleenex would become....

A disposable macroscopic nasal particle arrest device. They would be designed to be squeezably soft....
make that last part "would be designed to be squeezably soft...." more complicated. it is still understandable, not techobabble enough

opps left out two words

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-07-19 11:18pm

Not to mention, the box (cubic containment case) would have a touchscreen, to adjust the "softness level". And it would re-replicate the tissue after disposal in the "Quantum Sumatomic Waste Incineration Unit".

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2002-07-19 11:24pm

Q-Tip.

Aural Buildup Quantum Flux Inducer.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-07-20 12:01am

Toilet paper

Quantum Fiberous Sheet Applicable to the Removal of the Generified Waste of a Sentinent Being From the Posterior Region

Soap

Quantum Bacteria Arrest Device in Solid/Liquid Form

Datana · Post by **Datana** » 2002-07-20 02:04am

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Soap

Quantum Bacteria Arrest Device in Solid/Liquid Form

Doesn't seem quite complex enough. Wouldn't that be more along the lines of "Ionic molecular hydrophobic biomatter emulsification (ovoid | liquid) enriched with bacterial growth retardant extract"? Soap, after all, is simply an oil emulsifing salt with antibacterial stuff added to it in some cases. This would be descriptive but utterly useless and redundant, like true technobabble should be (and patent descriptions often are).

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-07-21 02:56am

Remember, if it doesn't sound confusing enough, add the word "quantum" one or more times, even if it is innaplicable to the object. (I believe Quantum Mechanics is the study of subatomic particles)

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-07-23 03:38pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Remember, if it doesn't sound confusing enough, add the word "quantum" one or more times, even if it is innaplicable to the object. (I believe Quantum Mechanics is the study of subatomic particles)

Quantum Mechanics is the study of sub-atomic particles. anything smaller than a proton, neutron, or electron

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-07-26 02:17pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Not to mention, the box (cubic containment case) would have a touchscreen, to adjust the "softness level". And it would re-replicate the tissue after disposal in the "Quantum Sumatomic Waste Incineration Unit".

yes and something would happen to the replicator and it would start shooting tissues everywhere. of the tissues would be to abrasive and they tear off people's skin

oberon · Post by **oberon** » 2002-07-26 06:46pm

John Clark wrote:Okay, granted. But still, shouldn't there be at least a GRAIN of accuracy in the terminology they use, as if to suggest that at some point in the past, the colloquialism had at least SOMETHING to do with what it refers to?

Oh, like the BMW iDrive, I get it

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-07-27 11:26am

Technobabble is the art of making the mundane sound techy 'cause the future has to sound real high tech or it just turns into a soap opera in space

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-07-27 02:34pm

With the plots of the latest ST episodes, it will be a soap opera in space no matter what.

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-07-27 02:36pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:With the plots of the latest ST episodes, it will be a soap opera in space no matter what.

good point, DS9 and afterward