Samurai Jack vs. Darth Vader

PrinceofLowLight · Post by **PrinceofLowLight** » 2003-11-15 01:43pm

Samurai Jack up against Darth Vader. For the purposes of this fight, Jack's sword CAN parry a lightsaber.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-11-15 01:46pm

Vader crushes Jack's neck using TK.

Jedi's physical skills are impressive but it's the combination of their physical along with their mental powers that increases their prowess as warriors.

Super-Gagme · Post by **Super-Gagme** » 2003-11-15 02:06pm

What is with all this useless vs stuff against Jedi? <insert random character> vs Jedi:

Jedi force jokes the end.

Enough with the fucking battles against Jedi!

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-11-15 02:18pm

PrinceofLowLight wrote:Samurai Jack up

Snipped the funny part,anyone get the joke.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-11-15 02:51pm

Montcalm wrote:
PrinceofLowLight wrote:Samurai Jack up
Snipped the funny part,anyone get the joke.

That was pathetic, horrible, and I'd smack you upside the head if I knew where you were, and cared enough to go there.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-11-15 04:15pm

Singular Quartet wrote:
Montcalm wrote:
PrinceofLowLight wrote:Samurai Jack up
Snipped the funny part,anyone get the joke.
That was pathetic, horrible, and I'd smack you upside the head if I knew where you were, and cared enough to go there.

<---Look here

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-11-15 04:18pm

"Samurai jack up." ? I don't get it?

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-11-15 04:23pm

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:"Samurai jack up." ? I don't get it?

Jack up or Jack off=Masturbate.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-11-15 04:25pm

I've never head "jack up" for masturbation.

Jack off, yes (although jerk off is more commen), but never jack up.

Remember that jokes aren't funny when you have to force them.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-11-15 04:35pm

I got to remember when making a joke,that A some might not get it at first,and B others may find it horrible.

Jeremy · Post by **Jeremy** » 2003-11-15 10:16pm

what do you expet out of Spanky?

SAMAS · Post by **SAMAS** » 2003-11-16 01:48pm

Personally, I don't think vader has the speed to choke Jack.

In one episode, a group of Bounty Hunters were planning to Ambush Jack. They had dug foxholes in the snow, and were waiting for him to arrive. One of the hunters was standing in front of a dripping icicle, dropping water roughly six feet to the ground. One of the hunter was busying herself by drawing her sword from the scabbard, slicing through each drop as it fell, and resheathing it all in one motion(not swinging until after the drop fell).

Eventually, Jack is spotted approaching. The hunters make their way to their holes and wait.

A single drop of water falls, and an instant later, the trap is sprung. One hunter lashes out with a chain, grabbing Jack's sword. Jack snatches his weapon, yanking the hunter out of his hole as the others attack.

Jack proceeds to defeat all the rest of the hunters, usually with only one or two moves each(the woman with the sword took about three, Jack finally punching her in the face hard enough to shatter her helmet).

After all six hunters are lying defeated in the snow, that drop of water hits the ground.

Smiling Bandit · Post by **Smiling Bandit** » 2003-11-18 08:12am

Jack is ludicrously fast.

Super-Gagme · Post by **Super-Gagme** » 2003-11-18 10:36am

So he can go to plaid?

Okay so who wins then?

Smiling Bandit · Post by **Smiling Bandit** » 2003-11-18 11:30am

Well, Vader's armor isn't going to stop Jack's weaponry for an instant. Jack can probably be up and at Vader's throat in about a quarter-second.

On the other hand, Jack won't want to kill Vader. Vader would win, but not because he's really a better fighter, or even that he could kill Jack with his TK, but that Jack will give him a chance to use it.

Super-Gagme · Post by **Super-Gagme** » 2003-11-18 08:18pm

Whoah. So you are actually saying that a non-jedi without super uber wank powers can kill vader if so inclined?

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2003-11-18 08:23pm

jack does have the speed and skills to get inside vader's defenses. and considering that he's managed to come close to beating aku on so many occasions, it'd make sense he'd be able to take down Vader with relative ease. after all, Vader can neither shapeshift into anything he wants, fly, or use the wide variety of magics that aku has at his disposal. including summoning up monsters on the fly.

CorSec · Post by **CorSec** » 2003-11-18 08:28pm

SAMAS wrote:Personally, I don't think vader has the speed to choke Jack.

If it comes to a physical confrontation, Jack would have the edge given the parameters of this versus competition. However, I don't think it'd get that far. Lord Vader could easily Force choke Jack from a hidden location.

Shogoki · Post by **Shogoki** » 2003-11-18 09:08pm

And everybody seems to forget Vader will know Jack is goingo to attack before Jack himself decides it's time to attack, giving Vader enough time to force choke him, not to mention Jack won't be able to think straight once he engages Vader, reducing both his speed and reaction times, end of Jack.

lance · Post by **lance** » 2003-11-18 09:34pm

The thing I disagree with is the force choke being the end of the fight. It will probly require a few force pushes until Jack suffocates.

SAMAS · Post by **SAMAS** » 2003-11-18 10:00pm

Shogoki wrote:And everybody seems to forget Vader will know Jack is goingo to attack before Jack himself decides it's time to attack, giving Vader enough time to force choke him, not to mention Jack won't be able to think straight once he engages Vader, reducing both his speed and reaction times, end of Jack.

We went through this in the Goku thread. Knowing an attack is coming and being able to actually do something about it can often be two entirely different things.

lance wrote:The thing I disagree with is the force choke being the end of the fight. It will probly require a few force pushes until Jack suffocates.

Well, this is the guy who once had his face ground down about a hundred feet or so of mountain.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-11-18 10:05pm

Smiling Bandit wrote:Well, Vader's armor isn't going to stop Jack's weaponry for an instant. Jack can probably be up and at Vader's throat in about a quarter-second.

On the other hand, Jack won't want to kill Vader. Vader would win, but not because he's really a better fighter, or even that he could kill Jack with his TK, but that Jack will give him a chance to use it.

Why won't Jack want to kill vader? He shows no remorse at dispatching bounty hunting robots, CN just can't show him killing humans.

Darth_Shinji · Post by **Darth_Shinji** » 2003-11-19 09:07am

Didn't Samuri jack survive unharmed by being sat on by a 200 ton sumo before? One has to wonder if Vader can even put enought force on his insides to hurt him.

Smiling Bandit · Post by **Smiling Bandit** » 2003-11-19 10:13am

Why won't Jack want to kill vader? He shows no remorse at dispatching bounty hunting robots, CN just can't show him killing humans.

He'll know Vader is human. Vader breathes. And Jack doesnt kill people. He doesn't even kill all robots. Demons are fair game. Jack may cut off half of Vader's armor, but he won't want to kill the big V.

Didn't Samuri jack survive unharmed by being sat on by a 200 ton sumo before? One has to wonder if Vader can even put enought force on his insides to hurt him.

Quite possibly. Jack does seem to be able to take massive amounts of thoeretical damage with little apparent injury.

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Samurai Jack vs. Darth Vader

Samurai Jack vs. Darth Vader

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