You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

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You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by FaxModem1 » 2017-12-21 04:03am

As you're walking down the street one day, you find a stone with a sword stuck in it. Inscribed on the stone and the sword are the words, "Whoever pulls this sword from this stone is the rightful monarch of Britain."

If you actually pull it, it will come out of the stone. If someone else tried to pull it out, it will stay in. You can also put the sword back in the stone, where only you can pull it out again.

Any attempts by anyone unworthy to destroy or move the stone for access to the sword only leads to frustration, as the stone cannot be damaged or moved.

So, what do you do?
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Crazedwraith » 2017-12-21 04:45am

Not much. Being monarch of Britain comes with very little powers these days and it would be a shame to chuck Elizabeth II out to no real end.

Plus *some inevitable mangled adaption of the Monty python quote about Excalibur*
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by bilateralrope » 2017-12-21 05:21am

I try to sell the sword and the stone. I will assist with moving and demonstrating it.

What do you expect me to do ?

Try to claim the throne and get arrested and/or shot ?

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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Zixinus » 2017-12-21 07:13am

I take the sword and give it to the Queen as a gift. I'll be famous and have little of the actual responsibility. A magic sword alone does not decide who rules Britain nowadays.
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Simon_Jester » 2017-12-21 07:40am

Hm.

The trollingest option would be to wait for Queen Elizabeth II to pass away (most probably in the next ten years) and raise the issue right in the early part of Prince Charles' reign.
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Jub » 2017-12-21 08:13am

For one, I try to claim any prizes for the discovery of a definate supernatural phenomenon. The sword and stone will be demonstrated before any scientists willing to study such an event and, within reason and for the right level of compensation, I'll submit myself and both items for intensive testing in hopes of seeing what can be discovered about this.

Then I do the usual media tour until the news and talk show circuit lose interest in me and retire. At some point along the way I offer sword and stone alike to the British monarchy as it seems rightfully their's and I have no interest in being royalty. At this point I probably have a larger sum of money in my accounts than I ever dreamed of having and the good will of the Queen and crown to boot. That seems like enough to let me retire happy possibly with a stipend from the Crown and a minor title for my service.

I don't see how I could expect much better to come of this.

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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Q99 » 2017-12-21 09:52am

Pull sword, cancel Brexit ^^

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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Zixinus » 2017-12-21 12:07pm

That actually kind of brings up an important point: just how seriously will your average British subject take this? Aside children and crazy ultra-neopagans, who would even give it a second's thought?

On a related note, the sword's existence and its evidence for the supernatural suggest supernatural forces at work in Britain.
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Simon_Jester » 2017-12-21 12:57pm

Q99 wrote:
2017-12-21 09:52am
Pull sword, cancel Brexit ^^
Tempting. Very tempting.
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by The Romulan Republic » 2017-12-21 06:49pm

Yeah, I think I'd either keep quiet about it and avoid an controversy, or go Jub's route and demonstrate the supernatural phenomenon/priceless historical artifact I discovered for money and fame.

Unless the sword's right to rule comes with a guarantee of success if you make a bid for the throne, it won't do me much good. I doubt the claim would be respected by most modern Britons. And even if it was, I'm a republican (as in, I prefer republicans over monarchies as a form of government, not that I'm a member of the mis-named Fascist Party of America).

If I did gain the crown, I'd probably declare a republic and then abdicate (though shutting down Brexit first is indeed tempting).
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Batman » 2017-12-21 06:52pm

Simon_Jester wrote:
2017-12-21 12:57pm
Q99 wrote:
2017-12-21 09:52am
Pull sword, cancel Brexit ^^
Tempting. Very tempting.
Also probably not doable with the current setup. These days the monarch has very little actual political power
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Solauren » 2017-12-21 06:53pm

If I was single, once confirmed it was Excalibur, I'd be tempted to try to arrange a marriage to a suitable member of the royal family of England.
The family gets the sword, and I get a new wife and a royal income.

Since I'm not single, I'll just use the sword to make money, including possibly selling it to the English Government.
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Elheru Aran » 2017-12-21 07:06pm

Batman wrote:
2017-12-21 06:52pm
Simon_Jester wrote:
2017-12-21 12:57pm
Q99 wrote:
2017-12-21 09:52am
Pull sword, cancel Brexit ^^
Tempting. Very tempting.
Also probably not doable with the current setup. These days the monarch has very little actual political power
Actual power? No. Theoretical? Ish. Certainly if the monarch makes a public suggestion as to how things should be done, Parliament is obligated to at least appear to consider the suggestion. To ignore it would be bad form. And IIRC the monarch does have the power to dissolve Parliament if it's not getting anything done? Something like that. As a matter of course, what little powers they have are generally more ceremonial than anything.

As for me: publicize the sword, maybe wear it around, see if I can score citizenship for my family and I... arrange for it to be passed on to the throne eventually since I'm pretty sure they're not interested in sharing.
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Guardsman Bass » 2017-12-22 12:52am

It's just a fancy sword, right? I'd probably trade it to the existing British royals or someone else in exchange for money, either a lump sum or a generous stipend (getting a castle would be cool too). The royals could then put it next to the crown jewels on display.

Unless there's something else going on. If I trade the sword away, does it magically re-appear in my possession?
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Zor » 2017-12-22 05:15am

FaxModem1 wrote:
2017-12-21 04:03am
Any attempts by anyone unworthy to destroy or move the stone for access to the sword only leads to frustration, as the stone cannot be damaged or moved.
It drives a hole through the earth at 30km/s coming in one way and out the other doing massive damage in the process as the planet continues on it's orbit.

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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Simon_Jester » 2017-12-22 10:47am

Zor wrote:
2017-12-22 05:15am
FaxModem1 wrote:
2017-12-21 04:03am
Any attempts by anyone unworthy to destroy or move the stone for access to the sword only leads to frustration, as the stone cannot be damaged or moved.
It drives a hole through the earth at 30km/s coming in one way and out the other doing massive damage in the process as the planet continues on it's orbit.

Zor
Or the above passage does not apply. The Earth itself has no volition in its orbit of the Sun, and therefore does not qualify as an "attempt to move the stone." No one is attempting to move the stone, because there is no "one" to do the attempting.
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Zaune » 2017-12-23 04:17pm

Me, I'd just flog it to Prince Harry.
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Eternal_Freedom » 2017-12-23 07:05pm

Depends. If drawing the Sword gets me all the powers and prestige of the present Monarch, then I'd probably wait until Her Majesty slips away and claim the throne to annoy Prince Charles and sit back feeling smug in my palace while letting scientists freak out over the stone.

If it lets me have King Arthur-levels of power/popularity/public support, well that's different. Parliament would be dismissed as a bunch of ineffective twats, Brexit would be cancelled, and Boris Johnson would be fired out of a cannon in the general direction of Washington DC.
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Zixinus » 2017-12-24 06:51am

Here's another (likely to be not answered) question: other than a supposed claim on the throne, what powers does the sword have? I mean, are we talking about some sort of super-sword? Do I get visited or have contact with the supernatural creatures and entities associated with the sword? What?
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by FaxModem1 » 2017-12-24 08:53pm

Zixinus wrote:
2017-12-24 06:51am
Here's another (likely to be not answered) question: other than a supposed claim on the throne, what powers does the sword have? I mean, are we talking about some sort of super-sword? Do I get visited or have contact with the supernatural creatures and entities associated with the sword? What?
It's just a sword. Unlike Excalibur, which was given to Arthur by the Lady of the Lake, the Sword in the Stone has no special properties, aside from it's connection to the stone and it's ties to the destined monarch of Britain. It's only due to simplification of the myth that the two get fused together in the telling.
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Batman » 2017-12-24 09:16pm

If you're destined to be the ruler of Britain if you manage to pull the sword out of the stone doesn't that render any attempt to just get rid of the thing ( be it selling it, giving it away, throwing it into the garbage, melting it down, whatever) moderately pointless?
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2017-12-25 07:48pm

Give it to Galahad, and move on.
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2017-12-25 07:53pm

Zor wrote:
2017-12-22 05:15am
FaxModem1 wrote:
2017-12-21 04:03am
Any attempts by anyone unworthy to destroy or move the stone for access to the sword only leads to frustration, as the stone cannot be damaged or moved.
It drives a hole through the earth at 30km/s coming in one way and out the other doing massive damage in the process as the planet continues on it's orbit.

Zor
Question. Is this the Roman gladius Excalibur or the broadsword Excalibur of legend and popular fantasy?
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Eternal_Freedom » 2017-12-26 12:37pm

Neither, it's the Sword in the Stone, not Excalibur, they're different weapons.
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Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Enigma » 2017-12-26 06:37pm

I'd either sell it or destroy it. Since only the unworthy are unable to destroy it, I should be able to wreck it. :)
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