After recently watching a new Super Hero film (which shall go un-named to avoid spoilers) I found myself, disappointed with the plot of global conquest.

The bad guy in question, who is supposed to be several thousand years old with billions in personal wealth, devised a plan that would destroy half the worlds population using a solar flare to incinerate half the surface of the Earth.

Now, I don't know about you, but if I want to conquer the planet, NOT blowing up half of it might be a good idea. I LIKE the planet, and I would like to hope I could rule over it as unspoiled as possible if I am an Evil Tyrant.

So... Given the basic "Evil Super Villan" set up, how would YOU take over the world? Trying to keep deaths and needless destruction of cities to a bare minimum.

EDIT: keep in mind, this isn't a "RAR" per-say, more a thought exercise on more 'elagant' methods of global conquest.

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Praying is another way of doing nothing helpful
"Congratulations, you get a cookie. You almost got a fundamental English word correct." Pick
"Outlaw star has spaceships that punch eachother" Joviwan
Read "Tales From The Crossroads"!
Read "One Wrong Turn"!

Mind Control? Having them view you as a hero? A Von Neumann style army?

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"I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed,or numbered. I am a free man. My life is my own" Number 6
The Prisoner

Stand for election and then use mind control to win and then repeat the process for each country, changing whatever legal frameworks exist to prevent me being simultaneous head of state for multiple countries. Then join those countries together in political union. Countries without elections get invaded by those that do.

Then declare myself Emperor of Man and get myself a golden throne. But watch any children I have like a bloody hawk.

EDIT: How does blowing up half the planet (and ruining the economy of the surving half) make me ruler? Surely their going to shoot me once they figure out I did it.

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Get busy living or get busy dying... unless there’s cake.

Sell my product or ideology or library of congress-sized tape cassette library of motivational bullshit or mainstream mass media pop culture clever entertainment fad shit or whatever crap for people to consume exploiting on their personal inadequacies or insecurities or sociocultural conditioning, making it so that they will beg for it and sell their souls for it and forsake their dignities whilst I become immortalized in the mindless consumerist culture, be deified by the shallow materialists and conformists, be as rich as hell and live like a king forever while being loved by all save for the few who I needn't destroy, for society itself shall loathe and ostracize these few for whatever views and values they hold to be right shall become anathema to the society and peoples who have been warped and perverted to mine will and reshaped into my image.

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shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

I secretly weaponise Shroomie's delusions and hold the world to ransom, threatening to unleash this beast upon civilisation

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You are standing on a 4.5 billion year old complex, self-sustaining organic spacship, which is orbiting a power source a million times larger than your ship. There are 200 billion other power sources, many of them with ships like yours, in your fleet. There are 40 other fleets in the immediate neighbourhood and your entire neighbourhood is moving at two million miles per hour towards an object 150 million light years away. Welcome to life, it's a lot more exciting when you think on larger scales.

A combination of mind control and superior commerical products.

i.e Use mind control on the governments of the world so I can do whatever I want, or they'll change laws and back my tactics.

I get into an industry, and use my super-products to corner it. i.e Cars that run on water, but I refuse to share the technology. You can only get them fixed at service centeres owned by me, and they cost 1/10th of gasoline cars.
I also put out technologies designed to clean up the environment, and solve many world problems.

At the same time, buy up all government debts at 1/10000th a cent on the color.

Eventually, I'll control every major industry, and the governments will owe me trillions.

Declaring myself emperor at that point will be easy, as everyone will like me anyway.

Not really the supervillian route?

I also use my mind control to encourage needless wars, and screw up the economy of the world outside of my control very badly.

Incidently, the corporation I started years ago is getting ready to announce a new type of electrical generation in a few months.....

This would be much more interesting if you actually gave us abilities and limits. Otherwise it's just mind control >>> victory.

Personally, if I was a supervillain with the ability to make crazy sci-fi tech and summon money to pay for all that stuff, I'd probably get some self replicating robots (or more like self-replicating factories that produce worker robots) and colonize Mars.

Basically take over an empty planet so that the whole planet is always one big unified nation from the get-go. Since it's mars there's no need to worry about damaging it since there's nothing much to damage anyway.

After that, boost martian economy and get a monopoly on space travel to coerce all the terrestrial governments into doing whatever I want. Which basically consists of not fighting eachother (or me), and helping me colonize the galexy.

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Fry: No! They did it! They blew it up! And then the apes blew up their society too. How could this happen? And then the birds took over and ruined their society. And then the cows. And then... I don't know, is that a slug, maybe? Noooo!

Futurama: The Late Philip J. Fry

Start a space travel company and use it as a front to construct a giant swarm of satellites that masquerade as communications and other civilian satellites. Once there is enough of them, unleash their true power to join together and form a dyson swarm around the earth blocking out the sun. Better yet, they do this by having mirrors so that if I want to I can block the sun out but I can also turn them into a city/continent melting sea evaporating doom laser. Next step, hold the world ransom from the safety of my death laser armed moon fortress. Call the UN president. The Lord Solar wants pretzels.

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I am the Purple Cube from beyond. Seek not to understand me for thau shalt fail.

Warning: I am an amateur writer/roleplayer and as such my posts are liable to contain text that would fit better into a work of literature than a conversation. Hence (unless I am in debate mode) be sure to read my posts with care and not take everything I say at face value. It might be (and at times is) full of stylistic exaggeration for the sake of explaining my point. Thank you.

NOTIFICATION: From this point on all my posts are censored by the thought police.

Create a super deadly virus that is airborne and has a huge infection rate, however it lays dormant and is activated by very specific triggers that only I control.

Upon activation, the person has roughly 72hrs to live before death occurs, in an Ebola style death, liquifying your innards and it's very unpleasant.

As a final fail-safe, I'd have a cure that would save someone before the 72 hr deadline, so they get majorly sick, and can still be saved.

I believe then that any of my demands would be met with swift action. Either to agree and live, or deny me and die. Because in the option they would try and eliminate me, back-up would ensure they all die...

That would be the first step, assuming it works, the next step would be a global government, which would have as first priority a complete assessment of the planet's resources.

Once that is done, I would institute a planet wide series of change, first of all, food and clean water would be provided for everyone. Secondly, energy efficiency would be a top priority, followed by a complete overhaul of how we do things.

Everyone would be granted medical coverage, shelter, food and education.

The main goal of my administration would be to increase comfort of living for the vast majority of the population that is currently living in awful condition. We have the means and the capacity to make it so, we just lack the will.

As a second wave, I would focus on the elimination of crime, eliminate all financial incentive for crime, eliminate poverty and social inequity. The goal being a global society where everyone is safe and able to seek their happiness.

Finally, I'd make it so people follow their passion, that everyone is given the chance to achieve their dreams. With a system that rewards advance in science and technology, that enable us to achieve whatever we seek to do.

Explore the universe and possibly colonize other planets.

I appreciate that you've actually gone for the 'supervillain' part of the theme, as the resulting global North Korea style communist dystopia would indeed be a living hell for everyone left on earth, and you've got your delusional self-justifying doublethink down pat.

Personally I would create an unstoppable army of giant cyborg laser-armed geese and deploy them to attack parking meters and attendants across the globe. Deprived of this vital revenue, local governments will all fall into financial crisis, allowing me to corner the municipal bonds market and dictate terms to every mayor on the globe. Chances of the killer geese rebelling against my control and laying waste to the countryside before being felled by a tragic allergy to powdered brussels sprouts, surely minimal.

I would let lose a number of genetically modified insect species. Each species would be programmed to act as an unstoppable pest in some specific area that is vital to human civilization. Eventually the entire earth will be seething with insects of every conceivable sort, heeding my beck and call in slavish servitude. Human civilization will be at my complete and utter mercy.

Largely depends on my superpowers. For the purposes of this discussion I'm going to assume Dr. Doom style technological genius.

Build magitek that helps with banking. Become a banker. Control the worlds money flow. Instant world domination, don't have to worry about the cops.

Called me old fashion but I prefer a Shadowy cabal combined with good old fashion replicates and mental domination. With memories of the various important figures and world leaders but utterly loyal to me. My agents will have code words imprinted in their brains so they can be mind melted at will once their kill phrase is spoken. My control will extend geometrically, starting first with Iceland because it's smaller and remote and much easier to gain access to important people. Then moving to Canada and the United States and then the world! In each phase (Divided into Continents, consolidating as I go along) my loyal minions will ensure the ensure the illusion of freedom while creating threats to have my dupes knock down and look even better. How does this strike you, a plan to blow up Hoover dam where in the arresting officers and the radical terrorists are both my mind slaves with a made for TV movie style trial of the century (And you better believe I have another attack plan again thwarted at the last minute by my own forces for that trial).

I'll be working the world like a show promoter, setting up stars and having them knock down the foes I put against them until my henchmen are loved then either retiring them or have them do a heel turn. Perhaps the police who stopped the attack on the court house are a bunch of racists who plant drugs on minorities that gives me two giant media circuses for the price of one!

Once my scheme and fun has come to the end and I have a shadow government really running things in every country I'll come out into the open.... from my UN constructed Moon Base of Doom!

Why have a moon base of doom though? Isn't it better to simply rule silently, without fanfare, controlling your puppets from the comfort of your small home in middle class suburbia?

Through shell corperations, install speakers everywhere on earth. Then, at the same time worldwide, blast CHRIStFUCK's latest EP Bank of Screams, telling them I shall only shut it off if they elect me King. Purple and people like him will be my footsoldiers.

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1980s Rock is to music what Giant Robot shows are to anime
Think about it.

Cruising low in my N-1 blasting phat beats,
showin' off my chrome on them Coruscant streets
Got my 'saber on my belt and my gat by side,
this here yellow plane makes for a sick ride

It's a base, of doom, on the freaking moon. /answer

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I am the Purple Cube from beyond. Seek not to understand me for thau shalt fail.

Warning: I am an amateur writer/roleplayer and as such my posts are liable to contain text that would fit better into a work of literature than a conversation. Hence (unless I am in debate mode) be sure to read my posts with care and not take everything I say at face value. It might be (and at times is) full of stylistic exaggeration for the sake of explaining my point. Thank you.

NOTIFICATION: From this point on all my posts are censored by the thought police.

Why build an underground volcano command center?
You ask very silly questions
Also note this is my end goal, the moon base is the capper the I've gotten control of the world now it's time to celebrate with a moon base.

Radio-active, mutant KILLER BEES!

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-hahahhahahaha!

*Cough*

I'm sorry, what was the question...?

Much cheers to you and yours.

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"And low, I have cometh, the destroyer of threads."

I abduct healthy people throughout the world and put them through an intense brainwashing regime to implant hypnotic triggers that activate a sleeper agent program. I use my newfound sleeper agents to recruit others until I have a self-sustaining private army of suborned individuals placed throughout the world.

I utilize these sleeper agents to co-opt or otherwise influence political entities, global buisinesses, and world militaries to my benefit while building regional bases with which I can use to project power. I'll headquarter my Eurasia group within some hollowed out mountains in the French Alps, with a satellite nuclear weapons facility / volcano lair within Mt Etna, my North Atlantic operations will be based out of some artificial islands built in the Caribbean, North Pacific ops will be based from an underwater facility near Hawaii, and I might as well have some facilities in Brasil and Australia as well.

One day, I simply activate all my sleeper agents remotely and have the world at my fingertips, all while drinking mimoas and touring the Cote d'Azur in my fortified luxury superyacht.

Also, keep in mind, the evil super villain from the movie that you watched was doing this purely out of nostalgia, and was trying to reproduce the situation when the super villain ruled the Earth.

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"I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed,or numbered. I am a free man. My life is my own" Number 6
The Prisoner

Mutant Seal-Yeti army of the damned. Armed with railguns.

I like Connor's idea, except I'd have meerkats as my army, with laserbeams for eyes. No one thinks a meerkat is dangerous, until they're up close, then POW! Once world leaders are dead, step in and form order from chaos.

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I have been a member of this forum before, but let my old account go stale. No, I wasn't banned. Guess my original ID and win a cookie!
Two clues- my ID began with an S and ended in an S. I also wrote a fanfic beginning with B.

http://darthtimon.wix.com/meerkatmusings
http://meerkatmusings.freeforums.org

Platypi

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I am the Purple Cube from beyond. Seek not to understand me for thau shalt fail.

Warning: I am an amateur writer/roleplayer and as such my posts are liable to contain text that would fit better into a work of literature than a conversation. Hence (unless I am in debate mode) be sure to read my posts with care and not take everything I say at face value. It might be (and at times is) full of stylistic exaggeration for the sake of explaining my point. Thank you.

NOTIFICATION: From this point on all my posts are censored by the thought police.

Plan B: Army of Howler Monkey Fremen armed with Sonic Weapons lead by Patrick Stewart. I base this on my faint recollections of the original Dune movie, where whenever someone screamed the magic sonic pulse obliterated the target. A louder scream yields louder destruction. Hence, howler monkeys.

and they need to be Fremen because Fremen beat Sardukar.

The only thing that can possibly stop me?



Armoured bears. Cuz they also have artillery as I recall.