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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-23 08:15pm
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Ruthless Genocidal Warmonger
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JOHN SHROOMBO FINAL DEATH COUNT: 262

KILL-COUNT-METER:
DECAPICATED WITH MACHETE: 1
THROAT RIPPED OUT WITH BARE HANDS: 2
KILLED WITH AUTOMATIC WEAPONS: 106
KILLED WITH KNIFE: 1
KILLED WITH EXPLOSIVE ARROW: 1
DISEMBOWELED WITH MACHETE: 2
KILLED WITH HEAVY MACHINE GUN: 145
KILLED WITH SNAKE: 1
RANDOM KILLINGS: 3

SCENE METER:
SCENES WITH GRATITUOUS VIOLENCE: TOO MANY TO COUNT
SEX SCENES: ZERO
TORTURE SCENES: ZERO



"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944

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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-23 08:50pm
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BR Recon force #1, wiped out by dinosaurs.
BR Recon force #2, avoided most attacks by drenching their uniforms in the urine of a large dinosaur. Unfortunatly for them they are now on the run because it was a female dinosaur in estrus whose urine they drenched their clothes in....

meanwhile at an airfield in the former Republic of One, Zalbania, Eden ect. Col. MacGekko* was tinkering with the remains of robot and terrorist trashed aircraft belonging to the former FUN nation, just exactly what he was building was unknown, however rumor has it that MacGekko* could build an airship out of an outboard motor and some duct tape.



Necropolis, Zalbania
Major Mikhail Anton was not happy, he had once served Alexander very faithfullly, selling young women kidnapped from remote villages in Libertopia, to brothels in the more civilized areas of the world, selling drugs, selling what ever was needed to get the Iron Guard what they needed. When the mining companies had come, he had not only found wretches that could labour in the mines, he had found cheap drugs that would allow them to perform that labour until their bodies finally gave out. Everyone was happy with him, until the accidents started happening, and Alexander started getting worried about public oppinion.
Anton hadn't wanted his service to end against a wall, with a bullet in his guts. So he had done the only logical thing. He had bribed a number of mercenaries working in Alexandria to help him with his plans and he had stole a great deal of opium setting himself up in the "city of the Damned"

Now Anton's thoughts were turning in a new fashion. Revenge. He had been betrayed, however he had one thing that his former master did not have. all those years working with smugglers, visiting out to airstrips that weren't even real roads, he had mastered the art of dirty low flyinging. And unlike his former master Anton now had aircraft to spare, turboprops, helocoptors, even autogyros, he had connections to the world smuggling market, and he would be returning home soon.

Anton looked at the various monitors, the activity on the surface. The fools hadn't yet figured out that Necropolis was BENEATH Zablorgia.



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The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin

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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-23 10:02pm
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Constantinople Times

Byzantine Heavy Industries wins contract to construct the Crawler Transport System for FASTA

Byzantine Heavy Industries is known for constructing heavy equipment such as massive mining tractors and such to support their mining operations. Their specialties thus make them the choice for constructing the new Crawler Transport System for FASTA. The company is already working together with Constantinople Shipyards in a government contract to manufacture a new floating sea platform to launch small to medium rockets which is expected to be completed some time next year.

Byzantine Heavy Industries, Constantinople Shipyards and the Nuclear Energy Institute field test a Nuclear Reactor housed in a floating barge

Byzantine Heavy Industries, Constantinople Shipyards and the Nuclear Energy Institute field tested a floating barge that carried a nuclear reactor. The barge can be positioned near a shore and supply power through thick power cables. The self-contained barge with a crew of 30, mostly technicians monitoring the reactor, is expected to have a number of possible uses, including the floating sea platform that will be launched some time next year. The reactor can produce up to 400 MWe.

Government raises defence budget again, orders 10 new Dromon class corvettes designed for minesweeping/laying and ASW.

As part of the Government's plan to improve defence, 10 new Dromon class corvettes will be constructed by Constantinople Shipyards to perform minesweeping/laying and ASW missions. The unmanned mine sweeping vehicles on the corvettes will be an invaluable asset to the navy.

Government issues a contract to Kontos Munitions and Byzantine Heavy Industries to design and build a new IFV

The Government has issued a contract to Kontos Munitions and Byzantine Heavy Industries to design and build a new IFV. It may enter talks with UKB to purchase their stocks of Merkeva MBTs.

(OOC: Since Bean stopped development of his IFV, I'm going to undertake development of my own to similar specifications to his over the next 2-4years)

Formation of the 1st Airbourne Brigade

The Defence Ministry has officially deployed the 1st Airbourne Brigade. Supported by An-22 and An-124 transports and equiped with BTR-90s and BMP-3s (All the latest variants), Black Hawk helicopters and soon to be equiped with Sprut-SD and BMD-4s and possibly Hinds. The brigade will perform rapid deployment and insertion tasks to support the army.

EDIT: Added the Nuclear Reactor Barge



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STGOD: Byzantine Empire
Your spirit, diseased as it is, refuses to allow you to give up, no matter what threats you face... and whatever wreckage you leave behind you.
Kreia


Last edited by Fingolfin_Noldor on 2008-06-25 03:31am, edited 5 times in total.
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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-23 10:15pm
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Imperial Chronicles

The entourage arrived at the Basilica of St George to attend mass said by the Cardinal of PeZookia. After the mass, the Emperor had lunch with the PeZookian Cardinal, and the Orthodox Bishop of PeZookia.

"I take it relations are as usual frosty as ever between the Orthodox and Catholic churches here?" asked the Emperor.

"Well, majesty, we do have our moments of ... disagreements..." said the Orthodox Bishop hesitantly.

"That's puting it mildly. Just a few days ago, there was a scuffle between priests of both sides," grunted the Cardinal.

"Well if you respected our space, we respect yours."

"Our space!? PeZookia is OUR SPACE! By and far, you are practically invaders!"

The Emperor sighed. This was to be expected, of course.



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STGOD: Byzantine Empire
Your spirit, diseased as it is, refuses to allow you to give up, no matter what threats you face... and whatever wreckage you leave behind you.
Kreia


Last edited by Fingolfin_Noldor on 2008-06-24 02:19am, edited 2 times in total.
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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 12:50am
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MINERVA

TITAN-I Test Flight Sucessful!

Riass Space Center, Comona Island: It was a calm summer day as Hundreds of spectators, His Majesty Among them watched as the arrowhead shaped form of the Sovereign Kingdom's Latest Spacecraft Touched down on the Tarmak to thunderous applaudes. The craft sucessfully completed a Low Orbit run around the Planet while avoiding Saddamistani claimed airspace, with Miss Wei being awarded the Order of Zombie Lenin by the King Himself on the completion. "Today is a great day for the Kingdom" she told pilots "I was just glad to be a part of it."



HAIL ZOR! WE'LL BLOW UP THE OCEAN!
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WHEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE ON EARTH, ALL EARTH BREAKS LOOSE ON HELL
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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 02:11am
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Bassilica of St. George

"Gentlemen, please.", the King raised his hand to calm down both clergymen before they would jump at each other's throats, "PeZookian law respects the freedom of religion, and it's truly unfitting for men of your station to throw insults at each other, especially in front of an esteemed foreign guest. Didn't Christ preach restraint and respect for all men?"

The King wasn't a religious man at all, and the people of PeZookia knew this. Fortunately, he was also the sovereign of the country, and both bishops knew better than to enter an argument with a man who could strip them of their power with a single edict.

"Now, if I could get some more of these delicious baked potatoes..."



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JULY 20TH 1969 - The day the entire world was looking up

It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11

Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.

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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 02:53am
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Imperial Chronicles

"Irate clergymen have a habit of indulging in childish fights, from my experience with dealing with the Ecumenical Patriarch," the Emperor said, giving a glare to the Orthodox Bishop and Catholic Cardinal. "If it wasn't the issue of doctrine, it would be some secular issue, or an encroachment issue. And from what I gather, the two main reasons why the two of them can't get along is the issue of doctrine and encroachment. Part of the reason why I am here, is to find out why. The issues of doctrine they can be smoothed over time, but encroachment, like the population are sheep to be competed for, is something I have learnt, is often a result of hubris."

"But sire," stammered the Cardinal with undisguised rage.

"You will learn your place! As far as I am concerned, the two of you are spending more time quarreling over the issue of converting each other's flock, than focusing on preaching and doing charity work. Now you two quit this nonsense at once! I will not hear of anymore fights between priests, even over the issue of 'who gets to clean the toilet' in the main basilica! Is that clear?"

The two men looked at each other with distaste. "Yes sire," they both said. Clearly it was going to take a lot of effort to break the ice. Turning to King Paul, "The next time they have a fight like this, I'll have this bishop removed and replaced with one who is more willing to talk peace. The bishop after all answers to the Ecumenical Patriarch. I urge you to do the same with the Cardinal," said the Emperor. "We will force them to make peace with one another, whether they both like it or not."

The potatoes arrived, along with a delicious aroma. "Ah, I have heard much of your potatoes. Now to try some..." said the Emperor.



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STGOD: Byzantine Empire
Your spirit, diseased as it is, refuses to allow you to give up, no matter what threats you face... and whatever wreckage you leave behind you.
Kreia

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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 02:59am
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Parasol Expedition Group Arrives at Zablania

In light of the megafauna showing up on Zablania, the Parasol Corporation has formed a scientific expedition group to observe and research on the local wildlife.

Ada Wong, spokesperson of Parasol said earlier on the press conference, "This is a good opportunity for biologists, especially evolutionary biologists, to explore a new territory. The Parasol Corporation also hopes to discover new material from these great beasts to expand its line of products."

The group is also guarded by Parasol's own armed security team.



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"People can't see Buddha so they say he doesn't have a body, since his body is formed of atoms, of course you can't see it. Saying he doesn't have a body is correct"- Li HongZhi

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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 03:16am
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Basillica of St. George

Paul smiled. Inwardly, he was laughing - yes, Heraclius knew how to handle the clergy. They were, after all, people who claimed subservience to higher authority, and follishly they ordained the Emperor, claiming he was ruler because of God's grace. They couldn't change their minds now, could they?

"Ah, yes, the famous PeZookian staple crop.", he said when the potatoes arrived, "Young potatoes colleted during the second harvest, baked in butter and sprinkled with seasoning. Horrible for the arteries, but quite a treat if eaten in moderation."

The King was obviously proud of the varied cuisine of his home country. When competing with the Bear Republic, having a dish which would be recognized throughout the world was a great achievement indeed.

After all the assembled were done dining, the King looked at the clergymen - clearly unhappy with the harsh words they heard today.

"Gentlemen...I must say the Emperor has made an astute observation today. PeZookia is not 'your space', cardinal, it doesn't belong to any church. I am disappointed with these words of yours, and I will not stand for treating the people like cattle to be counted. The Church is supposed to do Godly works, bring solace and comfort to the people, not fight over who has the biggest congregation. Even PeZookia's Muslim population, while vanishingly small, understands that."

"I do not want religious conflict in PeZookia. You will do God's work by charity work and humility which you like to preach, but lack yourselves. You will do that, or you will be replaced by somebody who understands that men of power should serve their people, not the other way around."

The King folded his napkin neatly and laid it on his plate.

"Now, I believe the Emperor is expected at the University of Astoria. We will therefore bid you gentlemen farewell."

The King stood up, and shook the clergymen's hands. The photo-op outside the Bassilica has clearly shown the dissatisfaction of both men, and the smiles of both the Emperor and King Paul stood in stark contrast to that.

When both rulers boarded the limousine again, Paul sighed.

"Well, that went well."

"Indeed. I hope they take our words to heart", the Emperor commented. He seemed amused.

"Emperor, while we are here, away from prying ears, I feel there is something you must know about recent events in PeZookia.

Heraclius raised his eyebrow, surprised a bit.

"You have probably heard about an...incident which happened last evening at one of Astoria's police precincts. A prisoner was killed by an assassin."

"Yes, I've been briefed about it. I believe you've managed to catch the shooter?"

"This is correct,yes. However, you should know that the prisoner was a Byzantium citizen apprehended during the attack on the Royal Palace, and we deliberately used him to bait Serpent's assassin. It's not something I did proudly, but the intelligence gathered is priceless. I hope you do not consider this...dirty."

Paul could not find a better word to describe the operation.



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JULY 20TH 1969 - The day the entire world was looking up

It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11

Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.

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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 05:40am
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Constantinople Times

University of Constantinople sends a team to Zablania to examine and retrieve specimens.

The University of Constantinople Biology department is sending a team to Zablania to examine and retrieve specimens of life. A detachment of commandos will assist them in the data collection. An source indicated that the team will be bringing some rather heavy weapons, like a prototype gun that fires explosive shotgun shells at a incredible rate of 1 per second to deal with potential dangers.



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STGOD: Byzantine Empire
Your spirit, diseased as it is, refuses to allow you to give up, no matter what threats you face... and whatever wreckage you leave behind you.
Kreia

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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 05:47am
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Imperial Chronicles

"SERPENT? You know, I never fully understood the purpose of these organisations. Clearly they are getting a lot of funds from various sources. I would suggest studying the accounts of those traitors and learn where the funds come from. Some serious detective work will be required but the source must be attained. A threat to your rule cannot go unquestioned.

Which brings me another point. This Byzantine citizen worries me. Our laws are strict. We do not tolerate any of our citizens involved in independent mercenary work. What would interest me would be why and how did this person get involved in a plot against you. Is he one of those involved in Jenova? Is he involved in this SERPENT organisation? We must find out. I have grave concerns about this organisation. Many in FUN are weak politically and economically and easily subjected to destabilisation, as the recent incident in Shadow Empire has proven. Failure to contain a hidden cancer can be disastrous."



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STGOD: Byzantine Empire
Your spirit, diseased as it is, refuses to allow you to give up, no matter what threats you face... and whatever wreckage you leave behind you.
Kreia

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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 05:58am
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Fingolfin_Noldor wrote:
Imperial Chronicles

"SERPENT? You know, I never fully understood the purpose of these organisations. Clearly they are getting a lot of funds from various sources. I would suggest studying the accounts of those traitors and learn where the funds come from. Some serious detective work will be required but the source must be attained. A threat to your rule cannot go unquestioned.

Which brings me another point. This Byzantine citizen worries me. Our laws are strict. We do not tolerate any of our citizens involved in independent mercenary work. What would interest me would be why and how did this person get involved in a plot against you. Is he one of those involved in Jenova? Is he involved in this SERPENT organisation? We must find out. I have grave concerns about this organisation. Many in FUN are weak politically and economically and easily subjected to destabilisation, as the recent incident in Shadow Empire has proven. Failure to contain a hidden cancer can be disastrous."


"From what an initial questioning could gleam, he was a petty criminal recruited for the operation under the promise of quick money. Obviously, whoever organized the attack needed expendable troops, so they found young and foolish people who wanted to get rich quick. They weren't particularly competent, and my security chief commented they chose the worst possible time to attack the palace, right after an important guest arrived. Security was far more aware than usual. There were literally hundreds of guards around."

Paul pulled out a beige folder from a seat pocket in front of him and handed it to Heraclius.

"This is the report I had my people prepare on the matter ; It's weird. I mean, the New Year's attempt was decently organized, and actually aimed for a time when I was truly vulnerable. This thing...I don't know what to think about it. A last-ditch desperate attack to have the FUN destabilized? Perhaps some sort of revenge by the industrial moguls who are now looking at life sentences without parole? We'll trace the accounts of the people involved, and I have great hope about what we can get out of this Thule person, but the possible motive behind that attack eludes me."



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JULY 20TH 1969 - The day the entire world was looking up

It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11

Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.

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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 06:21am
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Imperial Chronicles

The Emperor's brows arched as he read the folder. Not much by way of details, and scanty. Whoever ordered the attack either was clumsy and incompetent, or just simply too careful. Regardless, the man in question should be investigated. "I will look into my end of things and find out how this person in question got himself employed in these ... attempts. It's clear someone wants your dead. Have you checked on your own family as to, who might want the throne rather desperately? Family intrigue is the cause of many a downfall of a ruler. The attack was sloppy, though the employ of an assassin to get rid of a lose link suggested some degree of intelligence behind the attack. We must be cautious.

The issue in the Shadow Empire bugs me though. The audacity of the attempt... " The Emperor shook his head. Something at the back of his mind told him that a lot more nonsense was to come.



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STGOD: Byzantine Empire
Your spirit, diseased as it is, refuses to allow you to give up, no matter what threats you face... and whatever wreckage you leave behind you.
Kreia

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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 06:59am
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Fingolfin_Noldor wrote:
The Emperor's brows arched as he read the folder. Not much by way of details, and scanty. Whoever ordered the attack either was clumsy and incompetent, or just simply too careful. Regardless, the man in question should be investigated. "I will look into my end of things and find out how this person in question got himself employed in these ... attempts. It's clear someone wants your dead. Have you checked on your own family as to, who might want the throne rather desperately? Family intrigue is the cause of many a downfall of a ruler. The attack was sloppy, though the employ of an assassin to get rid of a lose link suggested some degree of intelligence behind the attack. We must be cautious.


"I really don't think my family is the problem. All of them are back on Earth That Was and have no idea where I am - not to mention they'd lack the resources to organize an assassination attempt. And, of course, my wife I trust completely."

Fingolfin_Noldor wrote:
The issue in the Shadow Empire bugs me though. The audacity of the attempt... " The Emperor shook his head. Something at the back of his mind told him that a lot more nonsense was to come.


"I have also wondered about the Shadow connection. It is possible the purpose of these terror acts may be not quite to kill any of us, but destabilize the FUN to the point of it breaking apart because of mistrust and double-guessing. At this point, the FUN has proven that we will intervene in case of a collapse of civil authority. If they could paint one or more FUN members as untrustworthy for the others, then perhaps they could have a chance at a takeover. But to what end? It's not like everybody else would stand idly by while a country turned into a Serpent puppet."

Paul sighed.

"Further investigation will probably reveal more information. In the meantime...here we are.", Paul looked out of the window, as the limousine stopped in front of the central building on the campus of the University of Astoria.



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JULY 20TH 1969 - The day the entire world was looking up

It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11

Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.

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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 08:14am
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Astoria U

The journos had congregated here today, in the school's auditorium, to hear the Prime Minister of Shroomania speak to the youth of PeZookia. From what statisticians garnered, the PM was rather popular with the nation's young and the young at heart - the establishment of the FUN had brought their country more than just free trade and burly dockyard workers building boats for outrageous fees, but it also ushered forth things like Degenatrons and explicit pornography. That fact was also why more journos were at Astoria U than in the Basilica of St. George. The eccentric PM discoursing to a bunch of rowdy youngsters and lovely ladies in little skirts was definitely more interesting than the King and the Byzantine Emperor hobnobbing with some moldy old men in funny hats.

Of course, another reason was that neither the King nor the Byzantine Emperor really wanted the journos to see them scold those moldy old men in funny hats like overgrown bearded children in funny hats.

Despite the over-strict security measures in place ever since yesterday's assassination attempt, the auditorium was still filled to the brim with young bright faces. Students and teachers (and journos) were allowed in, granted that they had their IDs. From the potheaded activist-types, to the jock douches fresh from showering with one another, to the wrist-cutting goths, to the drunken fratboys and the sorority lesbians, they were all there, seated according to their cliques and paying close attention to their university's most distinguished guest.



"Hi everybody!" Shroom started simply, doing his best Dr. Nick impression.

"Hi Prime Minister Shroom!" the crowd chorused back with some laughter.

"Good afternoon," afternoon since the whole morning he had spent his time touring the Amelian National Shipyards and getting friendly with those burly workers who built the FUN's boats for outrageous fees. He even had lunch with them, eating fish that had been cooked with blowtorches, amongst other fine PeZookian blue-collar delicacies.

Apparently, Shroom's visit had brightened their day up, and their manly company really made up for his shitty first day in PeZookia. They told him how the FUN, the ISCA, and the outrageous orders put in by the RT, the UKB, and Shroomania itself had given them a whole lot of outrageous fees.

So they told him that financially, PeZookia was actually pretty well off - despite the ramblings of those crazy statisticians and over-privileged rich kids who loved to protest and stir shit up while wearing their fancy Pradas and Guccis and James Belushis.

"I appreciate your being here," Shroom continued. "I appreciate your presence despite the anxiety and, yes, the fear caused by yesterday's incident."

Shroom suspected that was actually because of the fact that he himself had decided to continue on with his tour despite the assassination attempt. After all, if a guy shrugged off being shot at and exploded at to go to your school, wouldn't you be curious as to what he had to say?

"Despite the fear and the anxiety caused by yesterday's attacks, I decided to continue my visit of PeZookia. I didn't go back into my plane and fly back to Farbanti, I decided to carry on, I decided to come here to speak to all of you here in this building," he looked at the cameras dead on. "I decided to come here to speak to you, the PeZookian people - personally, and on your own nation's soil."

"I came here with a simple message. On behalf of the FUN, I would like to thank you. Thank you for all you have done for us."

The Prime Minister paused for effect, and noticed that the auditorium had gone really quiet. Was it a good thing, or a bad thing? He didn't know.

"We all know the New World is not a perfect place - that often, it is not even a safe place. From yesterday's events, to those that marked the New Year with an all-encompassing fear of nuclear annihilation, we have all witnessed first hand how bad it can get, and now close things can get to becoming much, much worse.

"But despite how bad things got, I always admired the resolve of the PeZookian people - your resolve, your endurance. The Fungal Union of Nations, so lauded for its effort at peace and diplomacy, looks up to your nation as a shining example. Together, we have managed to remain intact, we have weathered the storm and we still have our homes, and our countries."

"I feel satisfaction not at my own achievements, but at seeing that the nation of PeZookia - a David in a world full of Goliaths - can stand up and speak with a voice that can be heard throughout the globe," Shroom said this with real sincerity. "That sight is a great one, and it inspires us all. It tells the world that there is equality, that even the greatest of nations are no more or less than those smaller in size to them.

"Some may credit me for being the FUN's Founder, but I say that all we've made, all we've done, is due in no small part to your nation's dedication to the cause of peace and freedom.

"Together, we've done great things. From ending a civil war in the Sultanate of Terra Libertia, and earning the thanks of Sultan Ibrahim who now tours the world in the name of goodwill, to defending the Central Sea from the scourge of piracy, to connecting the world with the ships built by our burly brothers and sisters in yards all over the FUN. We're trying to make the world a safer, better place, one small step at a time.

"PeZookia is even leading the way with FASTA, and now we're working with the MESS to reach the stars. Such international cooperation has never been seen until now, and my friends, we have you to thank for that.

"But it's not easy - we all know this. Working to make the world a safer place for us all hasn't been easy, and it won't be easy. There are those who would use violence as a method of gaining their goals, and we've seen it happen all around us these past few days. Fundamental extremism, bioterrorism, kidnapping, assassination. From nations threatening peace-loving peoples with nuclear war, to shadowy organizations striking from the dark and harming the innocent. But those who try to impose their will violently upon others are only ruined by the consequences of their own actions.

"Thus, we must carry on. And I must confess to you that after yesterday's attacks, I felt fear. I felt uncertainty, and anxiety. But courage is not the absence of fear, courage is doing the right thing despite the presence of fear.

"Yes, we will be faced with tough times and difficult choices. But we must persevere, because together, we have done a lot of good. We have already overcome so many challenges and adversities. We must stand by one another, together.

"The FUN and the peaceful nations of Nova Terra would like to thank PeZookia for its support. We would like to thank you for helping us. And we say this now, that we shall always be by your side. You were there for us, and we are here for you."

"Thank you, everyone. Good afternoon."



Image Image Image
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!


Last edited by Shroom Man 777 on 2008-06-24 09:28am, edited 1 time in total.
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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 08:39am
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Astoria University

The place was packed today: most students got a day off so that they could see and hear what the national leaders had to say. There were literally thousands of people gathered at the campus: from ordinary students, through various trendy weirdo to elderly people and entire families. In fact, telescreens had to be set up outside the auditoriums.

Funny, I finished university with no small degree of trouble, and now all these people come here and expect me to have all the answers, Paul thought as he left the limo. He waved to the crowds, as did the Emperor, surrounded as always by his Varangians.

The Prime Minister was almost done delivering his speech, and soon after the arrival of the King and the Byzantine Emperor, he left the auditorium. The students remained, with the economics dean having a statement to make.

"We would like to invite you to Lecture Hall A now, where Emperor Heraclius shall deliver a lecture on the nature of Byzantine government at 15:30. This is a one of a time opportunity to hear something about a governmental organization from somebody who deals with it on a day-to-day basis."

The students started to leave, commenting Shroom's speech amongst themselves. Paul and Heraclius barely had to the time to greet Shroom before they were whisked away to a photo-op, press conference and a meeting with the University's staff. After a brief but headache-inducing discussion about possible measures to adress many problems of FUN higher schooling, mostly related to massive demands of the space program, all three national leaders were invited to a small official reception in the International Relations Conference Center not far away. Finally, both Paul and Shroom could settle in and listen to the Emperor's lecture and speech.



Image
JULY 20TH 1969 - The day the entire world was looking up

It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11

Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.


Last edited by PeZook on 2008-06-24 12:36pm, edited 1 time in total.
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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 09:15am
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A few Project Treadstone men had been in Zablonia during the crisis and had been ready to act if neccesary. Their services hadn't been necccesary. The GENITAL forces had been so poorly trained one man was almost al it took to destroy them.



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SD.net World MK2: 2nd. Republic of Indhopal
SD.net World MK3: Republic of Chilitina

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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 09:50am
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Imperial Chronicles

The Emperor walked stately towards the podium with his speech notes in hand. It had been a long time since he last addressed a crowd at a university but then again, it was time again for anything.

"Well ladies and gentlemen, greetings. I am Emperor Heraclius IV, the 84th Eastern Roman Emperor since Constantine the Great, Emperor of the Eastern Roman Empire which exists in some form. The Western half sank beneath the sea during a cataclysmic earthquake and warfare in AD 476. Since then, the Eastern half has struggled against a myriad of threats from Arab pirates and what not that attacked us mercilessly from distant lands, such as Neverhood. Not every kingdom existed in the same form as the present. We survived. And I am here now.

Before I dabble in the nature of the Byzantine Government, I shall explain myself. I served in the Imperial Byzantine military for many years, as expected of any future Emperor. We were expected to lead the troops on the field, sea, while attending to matters of state. I studied at the University of Constantinople and hold a PhD in Physics. Hence why I am regarded as the country's ardent champion of Science.

To begin with, the Byzantine Government has always had an ever efficient civil service to serve it. Any successful empire back then required an efficient tax system and even now. Taxes, as much as they are dirty word to a Libertarian or to some of you, are essential to a government because it ensures the government has money to serve the people, to raise funds to build an army to defend the nation, to reinvest the money back into the economy.

As with numerous governments underwent a revolution in the 1800s and 1900s. The masses wanted more power and they got it grudgingly. The Emperor Leo XI granted the citizens suffrage, but regardless what happened, the Emperor would always have control of the military and the foreign policy of the Empire. He would always be the chief custodian of the Empire and to steer it through the currents of international politics.

The post of Prime Minister and cabinet were then declared positions to be held by the political party that held the most number of seats in the Senate. In the past, the various themes (governing districts) were governed by a Strategos. That post was also now subjected to an election as well. It is up to the Emperor to establish a working relationship with the Prime Minister. Though the Emperor was typically above censure, the cabinet had some degree of power to withhold funds from the defence and foreign ministry and the palace. For the most part, the Emperors entered a more or less decent working relationship and no Emperor had to resort to using military force to remove the Senate from office, though the Senate nearly did come to blows with some of the Emperors in the past over some policies. Of course, the Senate had some degree of power of making the next in line the current Emperor if the current Emperor proved inept. That requires a unanimous vote in the Senate.

On to the present, my current government expenditure might be regarded to be.. prodigious. We can be considered the most militarised among the countries of similar size to us. We still have conscription. All 18 year old males are expected to serve in the Imperial Thematic Armies. This is a millennia old policy, where in the past, all able bodied men were expected to serve in the Imperial Themes in times of war. That means, in times of Total War, we have 8 Thematic armies, each the size of a Imperial Tagmata Army. You would ask why we would need such huge armies. The reason is simple. In times of war, there must be every effort made to defeat the enemy. The enemy must be bled at every turn for having the audacity to attack us. We do everything we can to expel the enemy from our territory.

We Byzantines are strong believers in Science. As such, we ensure our scientists are well funded every year. We are actively involved in research with FUN members, particularly the Bear Republic. We are involved in the Supercollider project, the Fusion Reactor project (of which Shroomania is also part of), the underground farm project and numerous other areas of collaboration. It is our profound belief that Science will provide the solutions we need for a better world.

Now you might start asking, isn't the Byzantine Empire the center of Orthodox Christianity, what with Constantinople the seat of the Ecumenical Patriarchate? How did Science come to dominate? Some time in the last 1900s and 1800s, when suffrage was granted, there was also a need to ensure a clear division between Church and State. Secularism was in fashion. After centuries of occasional religious conflict, and civil warfare, people were getting tired of having to be involved in one religious controversy after another. Byzantine people are still fairly religious, but the majority are secularists.

And now foreign policy. It should be first noted, that in diplomacy, nothing is simple. Everyone has interests, and everyone needs an incentive to do something. The Byzantine Government, myself, have believed strongly that the large powers should not be allowed to interfere with the rights of people, and to impose themselves on the weak. We joined OMSK in the hope of protecting ourselves, and to ensure peace in the world. Our relations with the Red Technocracy was the strongest, and still remains strong today, though both countries went to different alliances after the dissolution of OMSK.

OMSK. Once one of the greatest alliances, but it was deeply flawed from the start. It did not occur to me then, but in the aftermath of the Terra Libertian crisis sparked by Saddamistan's bombing of the Sultanate, I began to have doubts about the Alliance. Relations between OMSK and the MESS fell to an all time low, in no small part to the wide gulf of distrust between both alliances. Within OMSK however, relationships became frayed. Many of the larger powers had differing opinions on how best to solve the Terra Libertia problem, particularly the Sultanate. The Sultan had declared a fatwa against the Lonestar Republic and Shepnukistan. What finally sent the Alliance crumbling was Shepnukistan's unilateral decision to supply arms to the Diocese and Alexandria. We believed, as many did, that Shepnukistan was seeking to destroy the Sultanate in retaliation. See the problem with OMSK, was that there was no single governing body that could keep their members in line. Members could choose to ignore the wishes of the Security council if they wished. Also, the alliance can be paralysed if many disagreed with each other. Shepnukistan left. Byzantium and Red Technocracy followed suit. UKB later dissolved the alliance. That might be a lesson to FUN on how alliances can dissolve if everyone descends to bickering.

The Byzantine Government would not tolerate Shepnukistan's interference with the Diocese. We joined the MESS as they shared the same goals as we, and through the Ecumenical Patriarch, we demanded that Patriarch Ramsley renounce his alliance with Shepnukistan. Ramsley was then saddled with a civil war and then he grudgingly obeyed our edicts and was brought back into the fold.

Of course, things went from bad to worse and the world nearly came to an end. I think at the end of it all, it comes down to principles and how we live by them. It is up to you to decide ultimately whether or not you wish to die by your principles, or simply let innocent lives die because you would rather someone else suffer for it. This world is already imbalanced as it is. Unless someone takes the first step, well, nothing gets done. And so I will end this speech, which no doubt might sound like some boring history lesson to some. Thank you.



Image
STGOD: Byzantine Empire
Your spirit, diseased as it is, refuses to allow you to give up, no matter what threats you face... and whatever wreckage you leave behind you.
Kreia

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Zablanian Coast




The helicopter was there for the King, it was "Marine-1" and had not only comfortable accoutrements but a command and control center-- but it was not being used for His Majesty. It tailed behind, with some of the SPS men aboard, while King Arik Coyotus-I and his loyal guard, Chief Karl Tigh, rode along in one of the PeZookian medical helicopters-- this one an airborne Intensive Care Unit.

Jia was in the stretcher, getting treated and re-hydrated with an IV bag after her rough treatment at the hands of Kert Swanson, now a Shroombo-induced smear on the floor.

"W-who was that man?" Jia asked, her voice weak.
"We don't know," Arik said, "He disappeared before I could thank him."
"That man," said Tigh, "Was John Shroombo."

The PeZookian helicopters took off, and the air-medic had the unenviable task of shooing the King away so he could make sure Jia stayed stabilized during the flight. It was mostly precautionary-- she was basically okay, but no one wanted to take any chances. The Canissian helicopters flew in formation with the PeZookian craft, and air force planes flying CAP.

"I've notified the Palace, sir," Tigh said, "The zepp will be sent to PeZookia to pick you up when you're ready."
"Good," Arik said, watching as Jia fell asleep. He sat back, breathed a sigh of relif, and caught a nap, letting the rhytmic thwup-thwup-thwup of the blades lull him to sleep as well.



Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!

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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 11:29am
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CANISSIAN SPACE PROBES HARD AT WORK
Image
Canissian Space Probes, made by Ofek Industries, rule the roost in space.

"We've set high standards for performance and reliability, as well as mission flexibility," says Science & Industry Minister Mark Reebo. "We are doing everythign we can for the international space agencies that are shooting for the moon-- Selene."

Image

It is hoped that a manned mission to the moon of Selene will be completed soon, and there is already buzz in the scientific community about the possibility of a permanant base on the moon.

"We'll have to see what conditions are like up there," said Minister Reebo, "But we have plans on the books for a lunar shuttle craft if such a thing becomes reality." He would not disclose details about the proposed shuttle, saying only that "computer models" have been made and that the ship would be limited to low or no atmospheric operations, like service between th emoons themselves.

"Just something we're thinking of for the future," Reebo said.



Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!

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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 12:34pm
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PeZookia, University of Astoria

Paul listened to the Emperor's lecture, nodding to himself. It reminded him of his time at university, and he was sure the polsci students here would take quite a bit out of it.

A BOR officer suddendly approached him and spoke in hushed tone, so as not to interrupt the lecture:

"Sire, the 1st Airmobile are returning from Zablania. They have Miss Jia and King Arik with them."

"Oh. How is she?"

"Stable, but the medics want to check her into a hospital, just to be sure."

"Okay...please arrange for some added security at the hospital. We'll go there after we're done here, I need to visit Kamila and Karol as well."

The BOR officer nodded and retreated back to the side of the auditorium, speaking quietly through a hand-held radio.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Half an hour later

The studends clapped at the end of the Emperor's lecture, and the dean thanked him for delivering it. Paul looked around and sighed...it was time for the next point in the itinerary.

"And now, Emperor Heraclius, Prime Minister Shroom the 777th and King Paul I will answer your questions. Please welcome them with a huge applause!"

The students clapped again, as all three leaders walked onto the podium and took their seats behind a table covered in green cloth. A brief commotion began in the auditorium, as some students left the hall and others entered. Some camera flashes briefly illuminated the hall, when journalists and students alike snapped pictures.

"Please begin", Paul said, bowing towards the microphone

The first question was, surprisingly, not directed at him.

"Natalia Brzeska, economics department. Prime Minister Shroom, if I may. I have a question: what is your position on government spending, especially in light of Shroomania's runaway defence and space exploration budget?", asked a young blonde.



Image
JULY 20TH 1969 - The day the entire world was looking up

It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11

Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.

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Emerald Point, Tauron Province


The first THEL-- Tactical High Energy Laser-- was ready.
Image
It stood alone on the high hills overlooking Emerald Point, the city it was to protect. Statistics gave it a 100% kill rate within 5 kilometers, and would have 60 shots before exhausting itself. The plan was to cluster at least three of the THEL emplacements nearby, within about a kilometer of one another, with additional close-in support to help augment not only city defenses, but to boost THEL's survivability as well.

Naval CIWS, an already common technology, were going to be added, with modifiactions to their tracking systems to account for ground clutter. The CIWS themselves would be mounted on modest pedestals, close to the edges of the plateaus where THEL was located, to help defend the lasers. Each THEL emplacement would have two CIWS nearby, timed to fire in staggered bursts so they would not both run out of ammo at the same time.
Image

For additional defense, Patriot-style missile batteries were added as well, another two packs per THEL emplacement.
Image

Each emplacement was given the title "Integrated Defense Battery" or IDB. Compounds were part of the Royal Air Force, run and guarded by same, with an exterior perimeter patrolled by Royal Canissian Border Guards-- which could, in times of emergency, be augmented by mobilized Militia or regular Army.

As construction on underground bunkers along the coastline finished, projects began to re-focus on IDB compounds. The northern shore was the highest priority, with the capitol of Neve Tikveh and the eastern shore as secondary priorities.

Even though only one single THEL turret had been placed, the missile and gun batteries were laid out and construction began on them. Soon, the whole northern shore would be dotted with clusters of three IDBs no more than nine kilometers apart from one another, providing the THEL turrets with integrated fields of fire easily within their combined max ranges.

The Canissian mainland would no longer be so vulnerable to missile attack.



Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!

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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 01:11pm
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The main Coilerburg landing force had arrived several hours after the heat of the action. Several members of the Coilerburg general staff had believed that since the small marine force had accomplished its mission, that the main landing should be called off, but PFL Iler was insistent that it go on.

The landing was able to be handled more slowly and carefully now that there was not a need to get thousands on shore as quickly as possible, but there were still several mishaps and communications errors.

Nevertheless, thousands of Coilerburg infantrymen were now on Zablania.



Proud visitor of no fewer than five museum ships.

Exposing the truth about Wikipedia

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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 01:42pm
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Astoria U

Natalia Brzeska wrote:
"Natalia Brzeska, economics department. Prime Minister Shroom, if I may. I have a question: what is your position on government spending, especially in light of Shroomania's runaway defence and space exploration budget?", asked a young blonde.


The Prime Minister smiled at the pretty lady. Goddamn meddling kids!

"I believe that government spending should be based on the situations and challenges faced by the government in question," Shroom answered. It was a vague and hazy and very general answer - his favorite kind. "Anyway, the 'runaway defense budget' is a bit of a misnomer first coined by the Paleopacifistic members of my Parliament.

"I am sure we all remember watching the Shroomanian Sentinel's coverage of the Parliamentary sessions, live on ShroomSatTV - how my esteemed colleagues so enthusiastically represented the people by trying to bludgeon one another with paperweights."

There were some laughs from the Political Science students. Shroom had no doubt the going ons of the Shroomanian Parliament made for an interesting discussion for these fellows.

"The 'runaway defense budget' isn't. The Mushroom Military has, in fact, cut down its manpower by 3/4ths from its original 400,000 men down to 100,000. Some other governments did the same to their militaries, but not all. Nonetheless, the downsizing really helped in loosening up the military's budgets for other things.

"But like I said, spending should be based on situations and challenges currently faced by the government. The New World is a very unstable place - even when all of us aren't threatened by world war, which almost seems to nearly happen on a yearly basis, there is still the problem of civil wars like the ones that plagued New Gottland in the past, and the nearby Shadow Empire just recently. And, of course, there's the threat of terrorism - and in the last months, all our worst fears in that regard seem to be coming to fruition. These are very challenging times, to say the least."

"Thus, as one of the larger members of the FUN, the Sovereignty of Shroomania has the responsibility to provide protection to its friends and allies in the whole alliance. Many of the Mushroom Military's recent military acquisitions will actually be handed to the combined FUN Force to make sure everyone is safe.

"Similarly, space exploration is of great importance to Shroomania and that is why our budget reflects this. I am sure we've all heard of the theories scientists have postulated regarding the New World's origins, how everything came to be - from Intelligent Design to Evolutionism. Knowledge is an important thing, and we believe that the answers are out there."

"Also, space exploration pushes the general development of technology forward. From things like the ShroomSatTV, to advancements in computers and robotics like the ACVs we're building, to structural analysis technology for our airplanes, to other applications - space exploration does have tangible benefits for things that are more down to earth.

"Lastly, let me say that the Shroomanian government does dedicate a fair amount of its budget to no-less important facets like education and healthcare. The Mushroom Organization of Medicine, the MOM, is a wonderful example of this. From what I've seen, PeZookia is also doing well in this regard.

"I'd like to think that we're better off than other less fortunate places that have been greatly damaged by war and yet whose powerful governments just continue to build guns without even fixing their schools or hospitals."

On that note, Shroom decided to end his lengthy reply - which seemed so bloody long that it satisfied those meddling kids. He was just about to take a seat when -

- he grabbed the beeping cellular telecommunications device attached to his belt buckle, right above his groin. He looked like Michael Jackson doing his thing and that made the young crowds of PeZookians erupt in laughter and cheers.

"Baylor?" Shroom whispered to his groin-o-phone as he sat himself down. "Oh?"

SOFIA's Director just told him news of Miss Jia and King Arik.

"Oh, mang," his voice was hushed, but the microphone clipped on him made him audible to everyone. "King Arik parachuted with his special forces into Zablania and they got Miss Jia out safe? Awesome. That guy is totally cool!"

The conversation was short and as Shroom placed his phone back where it belonged, he looked around and noticed that everyone was looking at him curiously and amusedly.

"Oh, sorry. Just a phone call," he apologized sheepishly. "Um, next question?"



The next question came from a surly make-uped goth loser in the back rows.

"For King Paul," he said and Paul nodded at him. "Why do so many people want you dead?"


[:twisted: ]



Image Image Image
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

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 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-06-24 02:05pm
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CANISSIAN PARLIAMENT ANNOUNCES TAX BREAKS FOR 'GREENING' HOMES; FAMILY BOMB SHELTERS

The Canissian Royal Parliament today announced that families will get tax breaks for not only "greening" their homes and yards, but for adding a bomb shelter to their property.

The tax breaks run from R/500.00 up to R/2,000.00, depending on what improvements are made. Homeowners are free to build their own bomb and fallout shelters (plans must be pre-approved to meet minimal requirements), or they can buy basic pre-made shelters from the government, and offset the cost at tax time.

Pre-made government shelters can be small, simple and downright Spartan in accomodations, but they are cheap once the tax rebate is factored in.
Image

Larger shelters are also available-- more expensive, but can fit a larger family, or be made far more comfortable for smaller families.
Image

Plans and materiels for individually-made shelters can also be purchased, with receipts turned in for rebates, as well:
Image

Due to the recent nuclear war scare, and the probability that mass public shelters may be targetted due to their "similarity" to "military bunkers", family/individual shelters are seen as the best alternative. Public shelters are still being built since they are better than nothing, and people need places to go if caught away from home.

For "Green" projects, improvements include rooftop gardens or solar power, as well as rainwater collection to be stored for use in toilet flushing or gardening.



Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!

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