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Shroom Man 777
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

LIVE on ShroomSatTV
The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel
SADDAMISTAN SAYS SHROOM

Image
Stock footage of Emperor Saddam the Great enjoying a Lonestar cigar.

Prime Minister Shroom has recently issued a statement imploring Saddamistan to "show mercy and consideration towards those people whose lives are on their hands."

This statement comes as a response to rumors of Saddamistan's intentions to execute Libertian refugees and journalists detained after their vessel was wrecked in the Saddamistani shoreline.

"The Sovereignty of Shroomania wants to work with the Saddamistani government to ensure the safe return of these refugees and journalists," the Prime Minister said in his statement. "And we are also willing to help in anyway we can as to identifying the origin of the Libertian vessel that was wrecked in Saddamistani shores."


[OOC: Come on, Skimmer! Don't be a madmang! :)]
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
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Shinn Langley Soryu
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Post by Shinn Langley Soryu »

Ashford Times Headlines in Brief

Air Force Deployed to Shroomania to Deal With Shadow Empire Coup
F-16s, EC-130, An-22P sent to Comona Island Air Base

Langley Armed Forces to Participate in New Patria and Bear Republic Disaster Response Exercises
Canissia, Red Technocracy, and Shepnukistan also expected to participate

WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE? Y / N
I ship Eino Ilmari Juutilainen x Lydia V. Litvyak.

Image
ImageImageImage
Phantasee: Don't be a dick.
Stofsk: What are you, his mother?
The Yosemite Bear: Obviously, which means that he's grounded, and that she needs to go back to sucking Mr. Coffee's cock.

"d-did... did this thread just turn into Thanas/PeZook slash fiction?" - Ilya Muromets[/size]
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Post by Coyote »

CANISSIAN SEASIDE PALACE

The Seaside Palace was back in business, the extra security features barely noticeable to the casual observer-- the hardened architecture, the electrtonic warfare emitters, the flares, the ABM hardpoints, the laser defense systems-- it was there if people knew what to look for. To the average person, not well-versed in military matters, it simply loooked like the King had new antennas put up-- cell phones, maybe, or satellite radio, TV, or similar things, perhaps.

But the biggest changes were deep underground, where a command bunker had been hastily dug out. It was still quite spartan as far as comforts went, but a bigger, better, mor eopulent long-term survival bunker was being built... elsewhere. It would be connected by hardened subway to the Palace and was not that far off. It still had quite awhile before it was done, though.

But the King of Canissia was unconcerned about that for now. He'd walked away from the Libertopia situation, writing it off as a hoepless cause as long as King Blackadder insisted on obfuscating the reasons the crisis had gotten them to that point. People were mor eintereste din bickering than dealing with Saddamistan, even though Arik was certain that Saddamistan had something to do with the continued destabilization of Libertopia and the sudden revolution sweeping the Shadow Empire.

Arik sat back, cigar smoke curling out from the balcony, glass of White Russian partially drank, as he looked over the incoming reports and folders from the situation unraveling in the FUN. He wanted to help, if he could, but he knew that Canissian interference would only add a confusing dimension to the situation-- the FUN forces seemed tohave it in hand.

Still, if they needed anything, he'd be willing ot help, and sent a message saying as much to Minister Shroom.

On the other hand, there was good news in the north. The erosion situation was well in hand, with thousands of miles of shoreline being reinforced and breakwaters added to, the better to preserve the beauty of the beaches. Arik made a mental note to arrange a family vacation there sometime.

The Civil Defense networks were growing, as well, with Block Captains being elected and preparation drills being run on small scales in many neighborhoods. In a year's time he hoped to have a major drill, perhaps nationwide or a few provinces at a time, to test emergency preparedness.

And, there was the increasing activity of the animal-rights groups, a growing thorn in the side. So far Canissian ships had been deployed with a handful of additional private security directed by Royal Border Guard officers to make actual arrests, but the added personnel defeated the purpose of automated, low/no-crew ships. He needed those Pain Beams mounted, and quickly.

What bothered him most of all, however, was the shift in perception he was having with regards to the UKB. More and more, their refusal to disclose the nature of their sudden friendliness with Saddamistan, combined with the sudden death of Emperor Shady and the apparant chaos that the FUN was being thrown into, was deeply troubling. The FUN was a sort of partner alliance to the OMSK in many ways, of which the UKB was a major force-- and they were doing nothing about the situation.

Very, very disconcerting.

Arik called for Colonel Rassnar, and said simply,
"Prepare CASE KING OF SPADES."
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
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Post by DarthShady »

Location: Shadow Empire, Capital City Sarajevo, North side of the city

Image

"We are moving into position."

'Roger that shadow nine, await further instructions'


Location: Sarajevo, in the vicinity of the imperial palace

[Brother Tulka] I am approaching the objective.

[Elena] Find a way in, silently.

[Brother Tulka] I always do.

Image

[Elena] After you infiltrate the complex, stay low and don't brake cover. The explosions will be your signal.

[Brother Tulka] What explosions?

[Elena] The FUN is going to bomb the general back to the stone age.

[Brother Tulka] Oh shit. *smiles* Hey, what about that Shroomanian guy?

[Elena] He is going after Minister Stojkovic.
--------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------

Location: Somewhere beneath Sarajevo

[Elena] My lord, our forces are ready. Most of General Karic's troops have been designated.

[Emperor Shady] And what about Tulka?

[Elena] He is in position, as soon as the attack begins he will move in and eliminate the general.

[Emperor Shady] Excellent. Has Talia informed that Shroomanian agent of my orders?

[Elena] Yes my lord, she has. She will assist him with minister Stojkovics assassination.

[Emperor Shady] Good.This will be a hard fight, i hope our allies are ready. Send the message to our FUN allies, operation "Wrath of the Emperor" may begin.
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Shroom Man 777
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Operation SHADOW SKY

Image

AWACS: "This is SkyEye, all Mobius aircraft, prepare to engage."

Mobius 2: "Mobius 2 on standby."

Mobius 3: "Mobius 3 to 7 on standby."

Mobius 8: "Mobius 8 to 12 on standby."

AWACS: "All aircraft, follow Mobius 1. Mobius Squadron, you're cleared to engage."

AWACS: "Your objectives take out any and all enemy anti-air defenses. Clear the way for the rest of the FUN Force."

AWACS: "Begin Operation Shadow Sky."


[OOC: And that's a wrap. I'm heading to bed now, like, now.]
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
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Post by Vohu Manah »

News from the Qudlivun Free State

GSDF Special Forces placed on ready alert status
The Grand Duke of the Qudlivun Free State has ordered the Saoshyant, the only volunteer GSDF unit currently with permission to operate overseas, activated and placed on alert. The group, formed only within the past year or so, had been in training and has now been deemed ready for use by Self-Defense force commanders. The group will currently be attached to the FUN Force currently operating under the command of the Qudlivun Free State while awaiting orders. A 50 man unit will eventually be assigned to the QFSS Freyr as well as the nation's three militarized airports on a rotating basis once the ship launches.

Combat UAV order from New Patria retrieved and activated
The Qudlivun Free State's order of 21 AD-3B "Mariner B" combat UAVs, despite an almost year-long delay, have been retrieved from the Kingdom of New Patria. The 21 airframes will be put to work immediately in 12 hour rotating shifts to provide airborne territorial defense. The government agreed to end development of the internally produced MQ-1 "Reaper" drone due to promises by the Kingdom of New Patria to deliver their product in 2 months and for a cheaper per airframe cost over the internally developed design but the kingdom failed to meet their promise for timely delivery.

The Freyr-class Frigate specifications finalized and announced
Image

Freyr-class is officially classified as frigates but in size and role they could be classified as destroyers, since, with a displacement of 6,800 tons, they may well be the biggest class of frigates worldwide. In contrast to many older frigate designs the Freyr-class will have much enhanced land-attack capabilities. This will better suit frigates in possible future peacekeeping and peacemaking missions.

The combat system of the Freyr-class provides extremely short reaction times against asymmetric threats. A new infrared sensor camera system allows 360° surveillance. The effector system with ten guns (12.7mm–155mm) allows quick, automated engagements. Surveillance and engagement zones begin a few meter from the ship. Non-lethal weapons, such as water cannons and search lights, can also be deployed. Additionally, the Freyr-class supports up to 50 special forces including equipment. The special forces can be transported with two helicopters or four armed boats. The Freyr-class is designed to fulfil maritime stabilisation operations.

The Freyr-class is equipped with a new electrical propulsion system (CODLAG) and can be deployed world-wide for up to two years. It can be operated up to 5000 hours per year even under tropical conditions. On each frigate, two crews (only 105–120 persons) will work in shifts, changing every four months.

The first vessel of this class will be completed in Q1 of FY2011 and will act as the Maritime Self-Defense Force fleet flagship. The ship will also be the sole combat ship in the Qudlivun fleet authorized for deployment outside of territorial waters (in addition to any of the five FCV tenders assigned to support it).

Full Freyr-class Frigate specifications
Length: 148 m
Beam: 18.4 m
Draft: 5 m
Displacement: around 6800 t
Propulsion: CODLAG
• 1 20 MW gas turbine
• 2 4.7 MW electric motors
• 4 2.9 MW diesel generators
• 3 gearboxes: 2 for each shaft and one to crossconnect the gasturbines to them.
• 2 shafts, driving controllable pitch propellers
• Speed: 20 kn on diesel only, 26—27 kn max.
• Range: 4000 nmi
• 1 1 MW bow thruster
Sensors:
• 1 Phased array radar
• 2 navigation radars
• IFF mode S
Sonar
Laser warning
FL1800S ESM suite
Communications: Link 11, Link 16, Link 22
Countermeasures:
• 4 Decoy launchers (MASS)
• ECM
Armament:
• 8 RGM-84 Harpoon anti-ship missiles
• 2 RAM surface-to-air missile launcher/CIWS, 21 cells each
• 1 127 mm lightweight Otobreda naval gun with guided VULCANO ammunition for land-attack missions (range: 120 km)
• 2 27 mm MLG 27 remote-controlled autocannons
• 5 12.7 mm Hitrole-NT remote-controlled machine gun turrets
• 2 12.7 mm heavy machine guns (manually controlled)
• Water cannons
Other equipment:
• 2 search lights
• Submarine ROVs
• 4 11 m dinghies, over 40kts fast
• Space for two 6.1 m container
Hangar facility: 2 MH-60R helicopters
Complement: 160 (including 50 GDSF Special Forces)

Produced at Qudlivun Free State shipyards this vessel can be produced at a cost equivalent of $700 million USD with a construction time currently estimated at 2 years or all necessary materials to allow foreign construction of such ships can be purchased from the government at $100 million USD (price includes Qudlivun Free State option to purchase additional ships from foreign builder at reasonable cost, add $50 million USD to not allow said option).
There are two kinds of people in the world: the kind who think it’s perfectly reasonable to strip-search a 13-year-old girl suspected of bringing ibuprofen to school, and the kind who think those people should be kept as far away from children as possible … Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between drug warriors and child molesters.” - Jacob Sullum[/size][/align]
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Master_Baerne
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Post by Master_Baerne »

Aboard HGS Redress of Grievances
Flagship, Task Group 37
Commodore Elizabeth Seagrace, CO

"Operation Shadow Sky has commenced, Commodore." said the ship's Communications Officer

"Excellent. Tell the landing craft to begin their advance." Commodore Seagrace's voice was cool and controlled, but her eyes glinted in the red lights of the bridge. "Signal Operations Command. We're about to begin the battle."

Throughout the FUN fleet, missles flew from their tubes and naval guns rotated to target Shadow artillery emplacements. With a roar, the first cruise missle reached it's victim, and Commodore Seagrace smiled.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fortress Baerne
The Ducal Palace
Baerne Island

"Minister, a situation update, if you please."

"Shortly, we've begun combat operations in the Shadow Empire. Our amphibious regiments and fleet were in Shroomania for the FUN exercise, and they and the Pezookian GROM commandos are entering Shadow waters...Now, Your Grace."

Duke James stared out over Fortress Baerne. "Well. We'll just have to wait and see what happens, I suppose."
Conversion Table:

2000 Mockingbirds = 2 Kilomockingbirds
Basic Unit of Laryngitis = 1 Hoarsepower
453.6 Graham Crackers = 1 Pound Cake
1 Kilogram of Falling Figs - 1 Fig Newton
Time Between Slipping on a Banana Peel and Smacking the Pavement = 1 Bananosecond
Half of a Large Intestine = 1 Semicolon
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Post by DarthShady »

Location: Shadow Empire, Capital City Sarajevo, Imperial Palace

General Karic was shouting orders at his subordinates, fear and anger could be seen in his eyes.

[General Karic]Order them to fight back.

[Communications Officer] General, we have FUN amphibious forces inbound on the capitol.

Image

[General Karic] What? Nooo, this can't be happening again. Goddamn Shroomanians. Goddamn Baernians. Goddamn FUN.

[Communications Officer] General i have more bad news.

[General Karic] What is it now?

[Communications Officer] It's the loyalists, they are launching a counterattack from the north. They have taken control of the air force base.

[General Karic] What? Noooo.
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Mr Bean
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Post by Mr Bean »

Riverhome, August 30th 2010
Monthly Security Meeting


TS/REC--August 30th Meeting Transcript--TS/REC

In physical Attendance:
His Grace King Joseph Blackadder the VI
Prime Minster, Charles Spencer
Speaker of the Commons, George Martin
Lord Speaker, Lord Richard Wolsey
Director of Intelligence, Horace Granger

[Horace Granger] Thank you again for the dinner your Highness, Chef Kobe outside himself

[Blackadder VI]I'll pass on your complements, but considering the situation in the Shadow Empire can we begin the briefing?

[Charles Spencer]Speaking of are we on the record now?

[Horace Granger] We are, as of now I believe Mr Speaker

[Charles Spencer]Good, lets get down to business then please

[George Martin]Indeed

[Horace Granger]Here the situation we face at the moment. Our country is at peace, the Mess has ceased posturing in our waters, and the Liberaltopia situation has wound down. However...

[Blackadder VI] The Shadow's?

[Horace Granger] Indeed your Grace, General Karic's rebellion is yet another threat to stability of the world.

[Richard Wolsey] Was the man mad? The world single major supplier of diamonds, a member of the Fugal UN and one of our trading partners, with an army we could smash in an afternoon and he launches a coupe? Is the man a complete dullard? A fool? Did he think we would simlpy nod and let him take over?

[Horace Granger] I can not read the man's mind my Lord.

[Blackadder VI] Yet?

[Horace Granger]A man can dream your Grace. But that's besides the point, yes it appears by all indication he is a fool, the FUN has interviened and we expected General Karic dead within the next twenty four hours


[Blackadder VI]And If I want him dead?

[Horace Granger]Six hours your grace, and we estimate a minimum of six civilian causalities if you order the strike.

[Charles Spencer]Let the FUN handle it, they've not asked for our assistance your Grace, they seem to be doing fine on their own.

[George Martin]Agreed, what about rebuilding after the fact?

[Horace Granger]That's more Foreign affairs than my own department Mr Speaker, I will note however that according to our man in the embassy, our own embassy has been left alone. In fact General Karlic even asked to speak to our ambassador.

[Blackadder VI] And did he?

[Horace Granger]He danced around it and offered to speak to him once the fighting had died.

[Richard Wolsey ] A good bit, and as for the rest?

[Horace Granger]Turning to the next topic of Saddamstain...
----------------

"A cult is a religion with no political power." -Tom Wolfe
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Post by RogueIce »

President Shinra said his goodbyes to the Emperor of Byzantium, and he and his Foreign Minister departed. "I think I'll take the stairs, Mister President. A little walk to clear my head."

"Alright, I'll see you later."

As Rufus walked to the elevators, the long awaited response to his note met him: a pair of UKB Gurkha's stood flanking the diminutive Minster Koji, the Minster of State, as he held a single piece of paper in his hand.

"Mister President, I hope the day finds you well, his Excellency has asked me to deliver this message to you in person, regarding the note you left earlier". He presented the piece of paper:

The note was simple, to the point, if he wanted to speak on this matter it would only be done in the utmost security here in Atlantis, that there was a room set aside for just such occasions, and that if he wished he could speak face to face with his Grace King Blackadder VI, Defender of the Realm here in Atlantis the following day at his convince anytime after twelve hundred local.

President Shinra considered this development. On the one hand, it was still more of the secrecy with which he had become increasingly aggravated with over the past few weeks. On the other hand, he would at least get some answers.

And it's a sit down between me and Bean. Maybe I can at least get him to OK letting other leaders in on whatever he's doing...

With some hesitation, he realized this was probably his only chance to get some kind of answers out of the UKB. And so there was little choice at all.

"Tell him I'd like to see him at 1300, if it would be ok for him."

Minister Koji bowed and walked off, the Gurkhas following behind.

=====================

As President Shinra rode the elevator to his quarters, he thought back on the little incident that had just played out. What was the point of those Gurkhas? Were they the reminder of just who was in control here? A subtle hint that he really should take him up on that offer? Was Koji really afraid for his safety that he needed them? If so, why?

The elevator dinged and the doors opened, and he was on his floor. Putting aside his questions, he knew the best thing to do now was to return to his room and try to get some sleep. He'd need to be on top of his game for tomorrow, he suspected.

When he arrived, he saw his Foreign Minister looking very, very pale and upset. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"It's King Paul sir. He's...had an incident."

"An incident, what do you mean? What's going on?!"

"He took ill Mister President, and he has been rushed to the hospital. They think it was a stroke, possibly stress-induced."

"Jesus Christ..." A stress stroke? I suppose it's not that surprising, but still... King Paul was one of the good ones. The thought he could die...no, it wasn't something he was willing to accept. "Let his staff know that we send our deepest sympathies, and if there's anything, anything we can do to help..."

"We have Mister President, we have."

"Thanks. Good work, everyone. I...I need to go lie down now."

"Of course, sir."

As President Shinra collapsed onto his bed, all thoughts of the UKB meeting seemed to drift away from him. His worry over King Paul was great. But somehow, through it all, his sense of duty wouldn't let it drop.

"Brian!"

"Yes sir?"

"I have a meeting with Blackadder tomorrow at 1300, or I'm supposed to anyway. Make sure nobody forgets, and keep in touch with the UKB, make sure of the details. I don't want to be unprepared."

"Of course Mister President. Is there anything else?"

"No thank you. Just let me get some rest."

"Yes sir." And with that, Chief of Staff Sinclair quietly closed the doors to the President's bedroom.

As Rufus tried to sleep, he found that, as usual, it would not come easy or peacefully.
Image
"How can I wait unknowing?
This is the price of war,
We rise with noble intentions,
And we risk all that is pure..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, Forever (Rome: Total War)

"On and on, through the years,
The war continues on..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, We Are All One (Medieval 2: Total War)
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon
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Post by TimothyC »

Vohu Manah wrote:Combat UAV order from New Patria retrieved and activated
The Qudlivun Free State's order of 21 AD-3B "Mariner B" combat UAVs, despite an almost year-long delay, have been retrieved from the Kingdom of New Patria. The 21 airframes will be put to work immediately in 12 hour rotating shifts to provide airborne territorial defense. The government agreed to end development of the internally produced MQ-1 "Reaper" drone due to promises by the Kingdom of New Patria to deliver their product in 2 months and for a cheaper per airframe cost over the internally developed design but the kingdom failed to meet their promise for timely delivery.
New Patrian Aeronautics responds that they have been sitting in a warehouse for MONTHS before you picked them up. We would also like to remind you that we didn't charge rent for the space used during that time.
"I believe in the future. It is wonderful because it stands on what has been achieved." - Sergei Korolev
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Vohu Manah
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Post by Vohu Manah »

MariusRoi wrote:New Patrian Aeronautics responds that they have been sitting in a warehouse for MONTHS before you picked them up. We would also like to remind you that we didn't charge rent for the space used during that time.
We also stated that we would not accept the order until it was complete. Such notification was never sent. I would also like to state that as the merchant you should have felt obliged to deliver them yourself, I shouldn't have been forced to retrieve them unless specifically stated by you (no such specification was clearly made). Hell, the last time I PMed you, around the New Year in game, you claimed to still only have 15 frames ready hence I can legitimately claim a New Patrian delay.
There are two kinds of people in the world: the kind who think it’s perfectly reasonable to strip-search a 13-year-old girl suspected of bringing ibuprofen to school, and the kind who think those people should be kept as far away from children as possible … Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between drug warriors and child molesters.” - Jacob Sullum[/size][/align]
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The Yosemite Bear
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Post by The Yosemite Bear »

Ferret News service, serving the Great Bear Repubic of Californication, The World as WE see it.

WAR!?!

Image

It has been confirmed that the Republic Airship, "Mariposia" enroute to Libertopia on a humanitarian mission, was actually shot down. Exactly who is responsible for the cowardly and unprovoked murder of hundreds of Republic School Teachers, Doctors, Nurses, and contruction supervisors, is unclear at this momentas the downing of the Airship took place over international waters, and within range of both Saddamistan and Shadow Empire military Junta jets. However with the Emporer away on his "Vacation" the Senate has sequestered it's self in a closed door session, to examine the evidence, and words are being passed that the Bear Republic may now be in a state of war!

Also, in other Libertopian news, Bear Republic Peace keepers, and Pro-Tech clash with each other and with Drug Lords! A group of Bear Republic peace keepers was fired on by Protech officials today resulting in two of the BR peacekeepers dying, and one more being wounded. The Peacekeepers/Peacemakers were trying to contain a gang of Laced Soma dealers who we're heavily armed when Protech soldiers thought it was a militia conflict. After one of the Soma dealer's "Sleepers" (Soma abusing enhanced soldier/bodyguard) charged the besieged Peace officers, the Protech goons proceeded to empty their weapons into the sleepers. However this was of minimal effectiveness, since aside from massive hydrostatic shock, or a head shot, Someone on that much laced Soma will not be stopped by most firearms.

A spokesperson for protech refused to comment on the incident. Earlier this week a "Dark Liquid" squad was attacked and decimated in a "Sleeper" attack in South Libertopia.
Image

The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
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Shroom Man 777
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Operation SHADOW SKY
Five hours ago

AWACS: Alright, everyone. Mobius Squad has taken down the Shadows' anti-air and coastal defenses. Move out of your holding positions, and commence the attack - shatter their skies!

AWACS: Langley F-16s are to link up with SAF F-16s and F-15Es. Bomb all marked targets remaining in the coastline and move further inland.

Image

Langley pilot: This is Crow-1, acknowledged. Forming up with Galm squad.

Image

Galm-2: This is Pixy. Hey, Langleys, want to see some real pros at work?

Crow-1: Heh, don't overstrain yourself, Galm-2. You might be good in the beach volleyball court, but we can hold our own up here.

AWACS: "Cut the chatter, you two!"

Galm-2: "Come on. Mobius Squad's smashed their defense grid. What else could they have left -"

Image

Crow-1: "Oh shit. Looks like they're peppering the sky with flak!"

Galm-2: "Flak? As in WWII flak batteries? You've gotta be shitting me!"

Image

Crow-1: "They're throwing everything they've got left at us, they're even using rockets! They're pointing their MLRS up and trying to hit us!"

Galm-2: "Then what are you waiting for, Langley? The Baernes are on their way - it's time we plow the road for them!"

Crow-1: "Acknowledged. Crow-1, moving to engage. Come on, let's show these Shroomanian queers what the Langley AF can do!"
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
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Raj Ahten
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Post by Raj Ahten »

ProTec spokemen called a press conference in Libertopia to clear up the incident in which two Bear Republic personnel were killed. They had been operating in a lawless border zone between Alexandria and the Diocese. Alexander permitted no foreigners in his territory without his express permission. In the incident a ProTec investigation unit, along with its security detail, were tracking down producers of the deadly Soma drug. While interviewing local people the Bear republic team arrived on the scene. Driving very fast in unmarked vehicles they failed to stop at the ProTec's checkpoint, despite warning shots. Regrettably, the guards then were forced to escalate to deadly force given the threat of terrorist bombings in the region. Due to the perfessionalism of the ProTec personnell, the incident didn't escalate any further. The Bear Republic personnel then conducted further operations on their own, while ProTec withdrew its team from the area to avoid further conflict.

(That's ProTec's story anyway. In the backroom they say they gave the Bear Republic's team the intel they had to smooth things out a bit and then their team withdrew.)

Underscoring the danger of terrorists in Libertopia, 2 carbombs detonated around ProTec's main compound in Alexandria, while another detonated outside the Tonkin Republic's offices. The Free Hand Brigade claimed responsibility, saying attacks would continue until all foreigners left Libertopia. 5 civillians were killed, and another 35 were injured, along with 4 ProTec employees.
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Shinn Langley Soryu
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Post by Shinn Langley Soryu »

Operation SHADOW SKY
Four and a half hours ago

Crow 3: With all the shells and rockets they're throwing up at us, they won't have anything left to drive back the Baernish assault!

Crow 4: Yeah, who can believe they're actually trying to hit us with flak and MLRS?

Crow 2: Just cut the chit-chat and keep annihilating them.

AWACS: Crow Squad, Galm Squad, heads up! You've got...one incoming bandit. Looks like one of the Shadow Empire's MiGs survived the initial assault after all.

Galm 1: Acknowledged, SkyEye. I see it on my radar. Moving to engage. Galm 1...Fox Three!

Volk 19: You'll have to do better than that, Shroomanian scum!

Galm 1: He trashed that shot, but his luck won't hold up for long. Fox Two!

Volk 19: Fuck y--

Galm 1: Splash one! The Shadow Empire no longer has an air force!

Crow 1: Sweet.

Galm 1: You know it.

Crow 2: This is Crow 2! I got a SAM on my tail!

Crow 1: All they have left now are Strela-2s! Just drop some flares!

Crow 2: Releasing countermeasures! That was close.

Galm 2: You're actually freaking out over a Strela-2? Wow, what a newbie.

Crow 2: Sue me, this is my first time in actual combat.

Galm 3: You'll get used to it.

AWACS: Crow Squad, Galm Squad, be advised that the Baerne amphibious force has just made landfall. Euphinator is currently en route to provide support.

Galm 3: All things considered, we and Mobius Squad just trashed the Shadow Empire's entire armed forces.

Crow-4: Yeah, all that's left are the forces in the capital, and I'm sure Euphinator and our men on the ground can take care of them.

AWACS: Crow Squad, Galm Squad, stay on station and wait for additional targets.

Crow 1: Acknowledged, SkyEye.
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Post by The Yosemite Bear »

Flash:
To FBI
From: Star (Republic Intellegence Services, Pentat board member, Highest clearence.)

peliminary Analysis on the Mariposia Incident.
a. had Shroomania been trying to shoot down the Mariposia, they could have stopped her when she landed on FUN soil before beginning the second leg of her journey.
b. Mariposia traveled too close to the Shadow Empire (actually entered SE airspace) during the time of crisis, failure to correct course due to cercimstances resulted in her being damaged during the Mig vs. F15 battle.
c. Though damaged during the battle, she proceeded to stay aloft for several hours before she exploded.

other points: In addition to construction vehicles, teaching supplies, and medical supplies, THE MOST requested items from our missions in Libertopia, happen to be Fuel, and personal arms to protect our medical and peace keeping forces. MAriposia was carrying a large amount of Bio-fuel bivlets.

summary: The incident was most likely caused by a leak in the biofuel storage. a simple "Spark" or someone lighting a cigar, most likely caused the explosion some 7 hours after the airship had been involved in hte dogfight as a non-participent. Collaberating evidence includes the fact that the second mate of the Mariposia, was fond of Lonestar Cigars.
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Post by The Yosemite Bear »

Ferret News:

Despite protests from the Pentat (BR's Intellegence services, AKA CIA/NSA equivalent), The Senate Declares WAR with the Shadow Empire over the Mariposia incident.




Pentat Bunker, somewhere in the BR.
a group of shadowy figures cluster around a confrence table.
SF1: Ok, first order of business, who the Frak do I have to kill to get some lighting down here?
SF2: Chill man, this sub, Sub basement facility isn't even supposed to be in use, so of course we have no electricity down here.
SF5: So, the whole mess is our fault anyways, and Frye's blowhards won't listen to us.
SF2: yeah, I know, I've even got receipts from a tobaccoist for 24 Lonestar Cigars and a concealed carry case (cigar's aren't allowed on airships)
SF3: Especially Ironic since we sold AAMRAAMS to both FUN and the Shadow Empire in the first place.
SF4: I hope Colin gets back from his vacation soon
SF1: Nah, by the Time Frye and his merry band of pedophiles (see past sex scandels, namely the fact that Frye has held a number of Traditionalist party meetings in Brothels featuring 14-19 year olds.) get their act together, the whole thing will be a moot point.
SF2: Girls, I'm hungry
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The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
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Post by Beowulf »

Black Sands Missile Range
Paladin 5 - Tu-160 with the 2d BW


"Preparing for drop."

"Roger, bomb bays open. Instrumentation started."

"Drop the article."

"Test article dropped. Motor ignition."

"Tracking and telemetry indicate nominal flight path."

...

"Impact. Distance from aim point within limits. Good shoot everyone. AATACMS test series complete."
"preemptive killing of cops might not be such a bad idea from a personal saftey[sic] standpoint..." --Keevan Colton
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Post by Grand Moff Yenchin »

Migidishu, Northern Sultanate

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"You know, General Salehi, I don't know what's wrong with you guys, Jihading this and Jihading that, but here's someting I do know. Every week you guys are losing officials. Every effort of yours has been pushed back, with embarrasing losses. So here's a deal. You tell your boss to stop his little war here and get everyone to have some talk, ok? No? 'Face', hit it..........Want some more? You wanna talk to your boss over this now? Good, that's a nice boy."

Al Gazeri News Network

"The rebel general Zahedi today released a broadcast stating that he was willing to negotiate peace over the civil war as long as the Jihad persisted and besides that he refused any offers. However, he was willing to cease fire for a week to let His Highness consider carefully and respond."
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

The Yosemite Bear wrote:Flash:
To FBI
From: Star (Republic Intellegence Services, Pentat board member, Highest clearence.)

peliminary Analysis on the Mariposia Incident.
a. had Shroomania been trying to shoot down the Mariposia, they could have stopped her when she landed on FUN soil before beginning the second leg of her journey.
b. Mariposia traveled too close to the Shadow Empire (actually entered SE airspace) during the time of crisis, failure to correct course due to cercimstances resulted in her being damaged during the Mig vs. F15 battle.
c. Though damaged during the battle, she proceeded to stay aloft for several hours before she exploded.

other points: In addition to construction vehicles, teaching supplies, and medical supplies, THE MOST requested items from our missions in Libertopia, happen to be Fuel, and personal arms to protect our medical and peace keeping forces. MAriposia was carrying a large amount of Bio-fuel bivlets.

summary: The incident was most likely caused by a leak in the biofuel storage. a simple "Spark" or someone lighting a cigar, most likely caused the explosion some 7 hours after the airship had been involved in hte dogfight as a non-participent. Collaberating evidence includes the fact that the second mate of the Mariposia, was fond of Lonestar Cigars.
From: FBI [Director Hobart Hoover]
To: Star [Republic Intelligence Services, Pentat board member, Highest Clearance]


This incident is most regrettable and on behalf of Shroomania and the whole Fungal Union of Nations, we would like to express our sincere condolences regarding this tragic incident.

Rest assured that as soon as the Shadow Empire has been stabilized by the FUN Force, the Fungal Bureau of Investigation shall send agents to investigate the downing of the Mariposia and to bring those responsible to justice - if the FUN Force hasn't already done so.

We welcome any Star personnel in collaborating with this planned investigation.

PS - We will also attempt to recover the Mariposia's wreckage as soon as conflicts in the Shadow Empire have ended.


Sincerely,
Hobart Hoover
Director - FBI
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Operation SHADOW SKY
Four hours ago

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AWACS: "Enemy threat level down to 10%. They're out of rockets and you've blown up the launchers. They won't be bothering anyone anymore."

Shadow Commander: "Goddamn Shroomanians! Keep on firing! Shoot at the sky!"

Crow-1: "All that's left are Shadow soldiers shooting at us with their rifles. What a sad sight..."

Galm-2: "It should be easy pickings for the Baerns, same goes for the Shadow resistance."

Crow-1: "Good for them. I'm all out of missiles and it's just about time to RTB. SkyEye, requesting permission to GTFO."

AWACS: "Permission granted, Crow Squad. Same to you, Galm. Head for home, reload and refuel, and prepare for another sortie."

Galm-2: "Alright, you heard the man. Let's head home."

Crow-1: "Wait! Galm-2, you've got a missile on your tail! Evade!"

Galm-2: "Shit!"

Crow-1: "Deploy flares! Galm-2! Pixy!"

Galm-2: "I'm hit! Goddamn!"

AWACS: "Galm-2, what's your status?!"

Galm-2: "I'm still airborne, it must've been a near-miss -"

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Crow-1: "Holy shit!"

Galm-2: "What?"

Crow-1: "You're flying with one wing, Galm-2!"

AWACS: "What? Say again, Crow-1."

Crow-1: "SkyEye, Pixy's flying on a solo-wing!"

Galm-2: "If I can hold this thing together..."

AWACS: "You still can't make it back to friendly territory. You better eject, Galm-2."

Galm-2: "And hope the Baerns or the resistance find me before the General's guys? Hell no, I'm taking this baby back home. No way I'm crashing and burning in this dump."

AWACS: "Alright. Crow-1, you're to escort Galm-2 back to base. Who else is close by?"

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Crow-1: "I got Crow-2 with me..."

Crow-2: "This is SkyKid. Mang, I never thought I'd see a SAF TOP GUN ace flying so hot after he got hit by a missile."

AWACS: "You two, RTB with Galm-2. Try to cross the Shadow Strait and do an emergency landing in PeZookia."

Crow-1: "Acknowledged, SkyEye."

Galm-2: "I'm getting some vibration from my right rudder... are we doing this or not, Langley?"

Crow-1: "Relax, Pixy. We're taking you home. Come on, SkyKid."

Crow-2: "Time to watch a real pro in action."

Galm-2: "Shut up."

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Unknown (female voice): "This is the loyalist force of Emperor Shady! We have taken over the norther air base. All friendly FUN Forces are cleared to land."

Crow-2: "What was that?"

Galm-2: "I don't know, but it's good timing. I don't think I can make it to PeZookia."

Crow-1: "You're gonna trust those guys?"

Galm-2: "I have no choice. It's either that or I crash and burn on my ass."

Crow-1: "Alright, but we've got a problem."

Galm-2: "What's that?"

Image

Crow-1: "There are Hind Ds heading for that air base, and they don't look like they're heading there to reload and refuel."

Galm-2: "Shit."

Crow-2: "We don't have any missiles left, what are we gonna do?"

Galm-2: "Have you ever had gun training back in Langley?"

Crow-1: "Not much..."

Galm-2: "Then consider this an on-the-site TOP GUN training session. Blast them out of the sky!"

Crow-1: "You heard the ace, SkyKid. Let's gun those Hinds down!"

Crow-2: "The Shadows won't have anything left of their military when we're through with them! Yeeehaw!"

Hind Pilot: "What the- ?! Goddamn!"

Crow-2: "Didn't even know what hit 'em."

Crow-1: "We're almost there. You holding up alright Galm-2?"

Galm-2: "Yeah. Lowering landing gears now... resistance airbase, this is Galm-2, SAF. Requesting permission to land."

Resistance Air Controller: "Permission granted, Galm-2. Will your two friends be coming along?"

Crow-2: "Hey, a chick. Sounds hot too!"

Galm-2: "Negative on that, ma'am. Just me. I'm coming in for an emergency landing."

Air Controller: "Confirmed. I'm ordering our people to prepare for your landing, just don't make it rough, Galm-2."

Galm-2: "I'll try to go in slow and easy on you."

Crow-1: "Be careful, Pixy."

Galm-2: "Thanks for all the help, Langley. What's your name, man?"

Crow-1: "The name's Patrick James Beckett, but you can call me PJ."

Galm-2: "Thanks, PJ. You can call me Larry, Larry Foulke."

Air Controller: "Galm-2, maintain current course and heading and - are you flying with one wing?!"

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Galm-2: "Yeah. Sure looks like it."
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel
KIDDY KARTOONS

In light of the Second Shadow War and the ongoing Libertian-Saddamistani crisis, the popular ShroomSatTV animated series HUEG KITTENS has televised an anti-war and anti-nuclear special titled Nukulear Kitten.

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HUEG KITTENS is a popular cartoon created by the Zorian KAT-TOONS studios, with episodes televised weekly via ShroomSatTV.
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
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Post by DarthShady »

Location: Shadow Empire, Capital City Sarajevo, Remains of The Imperial Palace

[Communications Officer] General we are receiving reports of enemy troops inbound on our position.

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[General Karic] What? Who?

[Officer] It's the Baernians, Sir.

[General Karic] No this can't be happening. I WILL NOT LOSE THIS WAR!

*A man crashes through the door*

[Brother Tulka] You already have. *shots the general in the head, blood and pieces of brains splatter on the wall*

[Officer] No please, don't kill me. *wets him self*

[Brother Tulka] Goodby. *shots officer in the groin, and then in the head*

[Brother Tulka] Ok, lets see how does this work. *examines the comunications equipment*

[Brother Tulka] Ah there we go. *inserts the disc*

[Brother Tulka] Transmission commencing.
--------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------

The Emperors voice is transmitted throught the Shadow Empire and beyond.

Citizens of the empire, hear my voice, the traitor General Karic is dead. His rebellion has been crushed. You are ordered to put down your weapons and surrender. Your rightful ruler has returned to lead you once more. To those of you who surrender now i shall show mercy, for those who refuse there is only death.

-----------------------------------------------
Location: Somewhere in Sarajevo

[Elena] My lord, they are surrendering, we have won.

[Shady] Excellent. Secure the palace, it is time that I take back control of this country.
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Post by The Yosemite Bear »

Big Changes:

though technically still at War while the Senate continues to argue about the current situation, The BR commanders are agreeing to a cease fire. The first BR landings are now taking place in the Shadow Empire. GEVs, securing local beach fronts, while large flying boats and airships begin to move in. Unloading just about everything for a forward base, tons of concrete, location scouts, producers, etc. Construction of Fort Pancho Villa Naval Airbase is ready to begin. However in order not to increase Tensions any more, the Emporer finally announced That the Republic would officially ask for admitance to FUN.
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The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
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