The Agony Booth does Insurrection

Mange · Post by **Mange** » 2007-09-02 09:52am

Just a small heads-up that the Agony Booth has posted a recap of Star Trek XI: Insurrection.

Bounty · Post by **Bounty** » 2007-09-02 10:34am

Yet another problem with this film, which we'll get into more later, is how lax and vague it is about crucial plot elements. The whole story just barely makes sense, to tell you the truth. The movie tends to put the viewer—whether he or she is a die-hard Trekkie, or couldn't give a rat's ass about Trek—a step or two behind the characters, until the too-late-when-they-come revelations.

I couldn't agree more with this. As much as I love Insurrection, the plot really isn't worthy of the name.

And worse than Nemesis? That's harsh

ETA:

Now we get an invisible chase scene, as a bunch of flowers are knocked over. Guess Data couldn't find a fruit cart anywhere.

Honestly, if this is the guy they picked to be captain, who the hell did they turn down? The runner-up must have had a nasty drooling problem. Or it must have been that guy from the Enterprise-B in Generations whose nads were arriving on Tuesday.

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2007-09-02 12:48pm

The comparison with the ST VI Poster was eye-opening to say the least.

Bounty · Post by **Bounty** » 2007-09-02 01:19pm

The tagline was a deliberate nod, or so says the DVD. The poster - that's fishy, especially with the face.

Starglider · Post by **Starglider** » 2007-09-02 02:22pm

I love the captions for the stills, we were both laughing out loud over several of those.

Skylon · Post by **Skylon** » 2007-09-03 02:08pm

Oh holy fuck, I am glad I haven't watched this movie in years.

"In the event of a water landing I am equipped with flotation devices."

Dear Jesus, it BURNS.

Bounty · Post by **Bounty** » 2007-09-03 02:11pm

Am I wrong for liking a lot of the bad jokes? I thought most of this stuff was hilarious in a sort of... self-parody way. A shuttle with a built-in karaoke machine? Brilliant!

Skylon · Post by **Skylon** » 2007-09-03 02:17pm

Bounty wrote:The tagline was a deliberate nod, or so says the DVD. The poster - that's fishy, especially with the face.

I had the First Contact teaser poster in my head back when this movie was released.

But damn, the ST VI poster is even closer.

A lot of Trek posters have the curse of looking similar. TMP and ST V's posters for example.

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2007-09-03 02:18pm

"Built-in karaoke machine" is a bad example; not only does it not require a special set of components to achieve (any home computer with a microphone and the right program could be a karaoke machine, and the same holds true for a Starfleet computer), but it's also not an unreasonable function to include given the seemingly commonplace long shuttlecraft trips made in TNG.

Bounty · Post by **Bounty** » 2007-09-03 02:30pm

"Built-in karaoke machine" is a bad example

Or any of the other comedy bits then, like the singalong or the bits around the meeting with the alien delegates. I thought they were cute and pretty amusing, just like the stupid action hero stuff like the Worfzooka or the joystick.

And something I missed:

Agony Booth wrote:It even has a bright red trigger button, like this is actually something the set designer picked up over the weekend at Target.

It was; it's a Gravis Thunderbird, straight out of the box

DogsOfWar · Post by **DogsOfWar** » 2007-09-03 03:40pm

Uraniun235 wrote:"Built-in karaoke machine" is a bad example; not only does it not require a special set of components to achieve (any home computer with a microphone and the right program could be a karaoke machine, and the same holds true for a Starfleet computer), but it's also not an unreasonable function to include given the seemingly commonplace long shuttlecraft trips made in TNG.

But isn't it a bit odd that Picard had to hit only two buttons to bring up the "HMS Pinafore"? Was it his personal shuttle, with his favorite music on speed dial?

Sidewinder · Post by **Sidewinder** » 2007-09-03 03:53pm

the agony booth wrote:As they leave, Worf spews some Treknobabble that basically amounts to this: he modified a tricorder so that it will shut down Data. Man, those tricorders can do anything. I'll bet if you tried hard enough, you could get one to write a better plot than this movie.

I wish tricorders were this damn useful in 'Voyager'. (I actually fell asleep during one of the episodes!)

Sidewinder · Post by **Sidewinder** » 2007-09-03 03:55pm

DogsOfWar wrote:
Uraniun235 wrote:"Built-in karaoke machine" is a bad example; not only does it not require a special set of components to achieve (any home computer with a microphone and the right program could be a karaoke machine, and the same holds true for a Starfleet computer), but it's also not an unreasonable function to include given the seemingly commonplace long shuttlecraft trips made in TNG.
But isn't it a bit odd that Picard had to hit only two buttons to bring up the "HMS Pinafore"? Was it his personal shuttle, with his favorite music on speed dial? :D

To my knowledge, Picard was in the Captain's Yacht (his personal shuttle).

Bounty · Post by **Bounty** » 2007-09-03 03:57pm

Sidewinder wrote: To my knowledge, Picard was in the Captain's Yacht (his personal shuttle).

No, that's when he goes down to the planet the second time. In the chase scene he's flying a standard shuttle (Type-11, unofficially, it wasn't identified in the movie).

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2007-09-03 07:08pm

Best commentary on TNG space battles:

This is the frigging flagship, folks. Why is it that, for the most part, any enemy can knock the crap out of this ship with a few well-placed shots? Hell, in the seventh movie, they take a beating from an antique.

Sidewinder · Post by **Sidewinder** » 2007-09-03 08:49pm

The Dark wrote:Best commentary on TNG space battles:
This is the frigging flagship, folks. Why is it that, for the most part, any enemy can knock the crap out of this ship with a few well-placed shots? Hell, in the seventh movie, they take a beating from an antique.

[Apologist mode]The budget was too limited to show a big space battle where the Enterprise is hounded by a fleet of capital ships, with the space between the ships filled by energy beams and torpedoes.[/Apologist mode]

Thank God for the 'Clone Wars' animated series and 'Revenge of the Sith'.

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2007-09-03 09:45pm

What the hell do Clown Wars and Revenge of the Sith have to do with Star Trek Insurrection?

Sidewinder · Post by **Sidewinder** » 2007-09-03 11:16pm

Uraniun235 wrote:What the hell do Clown Wars and Revenge of the Sith have to do with Star Trek Insurrection?

I was responding to this:

the agony booth wrote:This is the frigging flagship, folks. Why is it that, for the most part, any enemy can knock the crap out of this ship with a few well-placed shots? Hell, in the seventh movie, they take a beating from an antique.

The ships in 'Star Wars' aren't that fragile, which means we get more entertaining battle scenes.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2007-09-03 11:25pm

It more has to do with the production staff's abilities to plan and plot battles than the strengths of the ships. If the ships' strengths and vulnerabilities are balanced, then it shouldn't matter.

The ship battles in Star Trek II and VI managed to be gripping and entertaining, after all. That all has to do with planning and plotting, not how strong the ships are.

Fingolfin_Noldor · Post by **Fingolfin_Noldor** » 2007-09-04 12:37am

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:It more has to do with the production staff's abilities to plan and plot battles than the strengths of the ships. If the ships' strengths and vulnerabilities are balanced, then it shouldn't matter.

The ship battles in Star Trek II and VI managed to be gripping and entertaining, after all. That all has to do with planning and plotting, not how strong the ships are.

Planning and plotting in ST has often been too contrived unfortunately. There are very few instances of very satisfying starship battle scenes for ST despite having a long run.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2007-09-04 12:52am

I like the article's style, but to be honest, the review is so long and excruciatingly detailed that I couldn't bring myself to read the whole thing. STI has plenty of flaws, but I can't help but feel that the review would have been stronger if it skipped over the minor ones and focused on the biggies. They seem to go through every single scene with a fine-toothed comb. It feels like I'm watching the whole goddamned movie again, as if I want to repeat that experience.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2007-09-04 01:08am

Well, that's kind of how bad movie sites like The Agony Booth (Jabootu's Bad Movie Dimension is another that follows a similar approach) work. It's not just a review but a way to experience the film to some degree, particularly for readers who haven't seen it.

One of the factors the approach stems from is that a lot of bad movies sites like that cover can be pretty hard to find, particularly if it's some no-name film that only had a small release on VHS back in the 80s.

Starglider · Post by **Starglider** » 2007-09-04 01:13am

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:It's not just a review but a way to experience the film to some degree, particularly for readers who haven't seen it. One of the factors the approach stems from is that a lot of bad movies sites like that cover can be pretty hard to find, particularly if it's some no-name film that only had a small release on VHS back in the 80s.

Indeed. Just look at the review of Zardoz. Giant stone heads vomitting piles of guns for the win (almost certainly Sean Connery's worst role)!

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2007-09-04 01:27am

Zardoz isn't exactly the best example, as it's still kind of a big movie (directed by John Boorman and starring Sean Connery). It's on DVD and heck, I first caught it on HBO back in the late 90s. Weird, yeah, but not really obscure or hard to find.

Better examples in the obscurity regard would probably be Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, Overlords of the UFO, Curse of the Screaming Dead, and Rock: It's Your Decision.

Kurgan · Post by **Kurgan** » 2007-09-04 04:12am

I can't wait until they review "Highlander: the Source" (granted, they have avoided any of the HL flicks thus far, but c'mon, it's too bad to pass up!).