Aeon Flux Review (Spoilers)

[thecreech]

I've gotta say, just looking at promo material and seeing the 'white jumpsuit' and 'black jumpsuit' outfits is enough to put me off. Blergh.

Seriously, i would of never thought of seeing this movie just because of the fact that the preview were terrible

[Utsanomiko]

Is there any teeth-licking action like in the cartoon?

Yeah, it aint Aeon Flux if there isn't a closeup of the badguy runnig his tongue all over Aeon's horse-teeth.

[Einhander Sn0m4n]

Thanks for saving me the ten bux. Durandal, I owe you a blowjob that'll have you talking to God, convulsing and shaking uncontrollably, and shooting blanks for a week afterward!

Yeah, I saw the cartoon, it was weird to say the least, but it was kinda kewl. I could tell by the preview that this one was going to suck worse than a darkmatter gun blast...

[Edward Yee]

Hmm... a bad Mara/Luke ripoff? (Probably reading too much into it, but I think that as soon as I see "assassin in love with target" -- has that become a cliche already?)

Prolly of all possible gender combinations, yes. (Fem assassin/male target, fem assassin/fem target, male assasin/female target and male assassin/male target.)

[Dillon]

By the way, all the harvested DNA is stored in a blimp that flies around the city.

This is one of those lines in a review for a godawful movie that makes you stop and just say "Alright....this really does suck."

Both that and the water based memory storage system.

Nevertheless, I never intended to see it. I can usually dig stupid movies if there's a lot of action, but this one just seemed so uncreative and uninspired and so goddamned generic.

That, and that the slicked black hair look really doesn't suit Theron.

Then again, it was produced by MTV, so I can't say I wasn't expecting shit.

[Uraniun235]

I can't believe that nobody thought to question why after 400 years, the population had still not gone up.

[Durandal]

Thanks for saving me the ten bux. Durandal, I owe you a blowjob that'll have you talking to God, convulsing and shaking uncontrollably, and shooting blanks for a week afterward!

... so wrong.

[Eleas]

Thanks for saving me the ten bux. Durandal, I owe you a blowjob that'll have you talking to God, convulsing and shaking uncontrollably, and shooting blanks for a week afterward!

... so wrong.

Yeah, Ein. Take it from me, Damien isn't easily pleased.

[UCBooties]

This project was doomed from the start. What appens when you take a mind-numbingly ugly, patheticly stupid cartoon and try to make a movie out of it? Gee I wonder. The only thing that this project did have to recomend for itself was its lack of Peter Chung's nauseating art style. However it couldn't escape the stupidity of Chung's premise, so it turned into shit anyway. What is it with actresses winning the Best Actress Oscar and then going on to make crappy action movies anyway? Fuck it, The sooner Peter Chung is permenantly deprived of work the better. Everything he touches withers and dies.

[Srynerson]

I can't believe that nobody thought to question why after 400 years, the population had still not gone up.

Given that the city is self-contained and dominated by a nakedly technocratic authoritarian regime, I presumed they had an open policy of keeping families at "replacement rate" size. That would conceal the static population problem behind a plausible facade.

[Srynerson]

This regime rules over Bregna, the last city left on Earth after a disease wiped out 99% of the population, leaving only 7 million people on Earth. (My calculations show that wiping out 99% of the population on Earth would leave in excess of 60 million people, but math is the least of this movie's problems.)

I'll need to check the opening again to be completely positive, but as I recall it states that the plague killed 99% of the world's population and that, 400 years later, Bregna has a population of 5 million. Now yes, Bregna's population is currently fixed because of their reproduction technique, but the movie doesn't state Number of Plague Survivors = Population of Bregna, nor does anyone say that every single plague survivor's DNA was banked for cloning. Recall that the original Oren told the Keeper that Catherine's body should be destroyed because her genetic material was corrupted. That plainly implies some sort of eugenics program on selecting who would be cloned. There are problems with the movie to be sure, but let's be fair.

[Johonebesus]

So, wait, she doesn't die at the end? That's the whole point, to see how she buys it and so fails her mission.

[mjn6172]

No. God help us, Aeon and Trevor both survive. They also destroyed a large section of the outer wall when they blew up the blimp thingy, so the people of the city are exposed to the outside world once again.

As far as "Turn your brain off and enjoy the special effects" type movies go, it wasn't too bad. I was hoping for the pure unexplained anarchy of the originals, but I knew that would never happen.

[Oni Koneko Damien]

Yeah, Ein. Take it from me, Damien isn't easily pleased.

Am too. It just depends on who's doing the pleasing.

[DPDarkPrimus]

Thanks for saving me the ten bux. Durandal, I owe you a blowjob that'll have you talking to God, convulsing and shaking uncontrollably, and shooting blanks for a week afterward!

... so wrong.

I stopped reading after "I owe you".