The Tau Empire and ST

Lonestar · Post by **Lonestar** » 2006-12-09 04:24pm

Well, I'm in a crazed 3 Xingu Beer in 20 minutes state, and the thought occurs to me:

What if, the Emperor one day gets so hacked off at the Tau(have them start a bunch of "yo Mama" jokes or something) and rips the universe a new spacehole and depsoits them in the STverse, durign, oh, say, the 7th season of Voyager in the Delta Quadrant. The spacehole clenches shut dhortly thereafter.

What happens when the Intrepid crew of the Voyager run headlong into the Tau? (while running from the Borg or something) What do the Tau make of these obviously underquipped gaggle of pansies who are just as obviously Human?

Lonestar · Post by **Lonestar** » 2006-12-09 04:25pm

Yarr...can someone fix my url tags?

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2006-12-09 04:30pm

The Ethereals are promptly confused by the fact humanity is as small and puny as their propaganda claims.

Then the conquest of the Milky Way begins. With ST Warp Drive, the Tau Empire can blossom. Plus, railguns will bitchsmack Cubes.

Teleros · Post by **Teleros** » 2006-12-09 04:38pm

Hmm I can just see a meeting between the Tau and the Borg...

Borg: We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.
Ethereal: You know I was about to say the exact same thing...

But yes, I can see the Tau promptly absorbing the rest of the ST universe and nailing anyone who disagrees with them. Especially given the enormous technological disparities between the two universes.

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2006-12-09 04:42pm

SirNitram wrote:The Ethereals are promptly confused by the fact humanity is as small and puny as their propaganda claims.

Aun'va: Score!

Lost Soal · Post by **Lost Soal** » 2006-12-09 04:44pm

After Janeways smug superiority rubs them the wrong way, the Tau offer the use of their own Warp engine technology to help Voyager get home.

I wonder just how many different kinds of hell the daemons can subject them to

Tasoth · Post by **Tasoth** » 2006-12-09 04:45pm

Is this just the Tau from the Tau empire or the Auxillaries, like Kroot, Vespids and Dhow? Suddenly launch strikes at the more violent ST races homeworlds with the equivalent of special ops aboriginals/indians and psychic races would be immensely funny and lop sided. Picture a bunch of Klingons, having recently thrown down their disruptors in favor of the ol' bat'leth, letting loose a battle cry and streaming from cover. Into concentrated rifle fire followed through with a mass of screaming bird men with strangely bayoneted rifles once they get close enough and through the fire. Such a lovely image.

Teleros · Post by **Teleros** » 2006-12-09 05:06pm

Tasoth wrote:Into concentrated rifle fire followed through with a mass of screaming bird men with strangely bayoneted rifles once they get close enough and through the fire. Such a lovely image.

The Kroot wouldn't find much to eat as soup, let alone carve up in melee combat

. Even leaving aside the sheer power of 40K weaponry over ST weapons, the Tau have a well organised military with things like artillery (gasp). You can just see the Trekkies teleporting down, only to get hit by Seeker missiles within about 10 minutes after the Pathfinders detect the teleporter energy signature or something

.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2006-12-09 05:10pm

To go into more depth: The Voyager will be offered 'assistance'. This means a few Earth Casters will show up, with a squad or two of Firewarriors('A vital component of our culture, the Firewarrior Caste.' 'Oh, well, they can bring their six foot rifles then!') and basically steal all the advanced propulsion technologies on Voyager. Warp, Transwarp, Slipstream.. Hell, all the one shot technologies Janeway was too stupid to use. The Tau Empire can now expand.

The Borg are a non-starter. Tau ships will engage from much longer ranges than we see the Borg engage at, and you can't adapt to a railgun round. Gradually, the Delta Quadrant will fall, as the Ethereal's prepare for Earth itself.

white_rabbit · Post by **white_rabbit** » 2006-12-09 07:00pm

I wonder just how many different kinds of hell the daemons can subject them to

The Tau can't technically get in that far, so they'd have to settle for feeding the Voyager crew to Kroothounds.

Imperial Overlord · Post by **Imperial Overlord** » 2006-12-09 07:22pm

SirNitram wrote: With ST Warp Drive, the Tau Empire can blossom.

Except for the little fact that ST Warp Drive is much slower than even the half assed Tau Warp Drive. The Imperium can cross the galaxy in a year, if they make good time. Tau can manage about one-fifth that speed. Voyager needs 75 years to go most of that distance.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2006-12-09 07:39pm

Imperial Overlord wrote:
SirNitram wrote: With ST Warp Drive, the Tau Empire can blossom.
Except for the little fact that ST Warp Drive is much slower than even the half assed Tau Warp Drive. The Imperium can cross the galaxy in a year, if they make good time. Tau can manage about one-fifth that speed. Voyager needs 75 years to go most of that distance.

There's a reason I mention Transwarp and Slipstream.

Lost Soal · Post by **Lost Soal** » 2006-12-09 07:44pm

SirNitram wrote:
Imperial Overlord wrote:
SirNitram wrote: With ST Warp Drive, the Tau Empire can blossom.
Except for the little fact that ST Warp Drive is much slower than even the half assed Tau Warp Drive. The Imperium can cross the galaxy in a year, if they make good time. Tau can manage about one-fifth that speed. Voyager needs 75 years to go most of that distance.
There's a reason I mention Transwarp and Slipstream.

Hows this for an experiment. Transwarp drive through Warp Space. Hows that for getting yourselves hopelessly lost.

white_rabbit · Post by **white_rabbit** » 2006-12-09 07:45pm

Imperial Overlord wrote:
SirNitram wrote: With ST Warp Drive, the Tau Empire can blossom.
Except for the little fact that ST Warp Drive is much slower than even the half assed Tau Warp Drive. The Imperium can cross the galaxy in a year, if they make good time. Tau can manage about one-fifth that speed. Voyager needs 75 years to go most of that distance.

Bear in mind that even though its been more or less dropped from "modern" references as a significant problem with everyday usage, there is sometimes a certain degree of time displacement with warp drive, as in the 6 years to cross the Imperium reference might refer to 6 years of subjective time, while in real space, more time could have passed, sometimes significantly more time.

Of more use to the Tau would be FTL communication, because at the moment they suffer from having to use a relay system of interstellar craft.

They don't even have the apparently limited range FTL non-psychic comms that can be found in the hands of the Ad Mech and the inquisition.

They might be interested in certain aspects of Trek medical technology as well, certainly transporters would fufil a useful role, as basically every technology the Federation has, but hasn't the imagination to put to use.

hugely long range FTL sensors would probably be pretty useful as well, as the Tau don't have the psychic FTL sensor tech either.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2006-12-09 08:27pm

Lost Soal wrote:
SirNitram wrote:
Imperial Overlord wrote: Except for the little fact that ST Warp Drive is much slower than even the half assed Tau Warp Drive. The Imperium can cross the galaxy in a year, if they make good time. Tau can manage about one-fifth that speed. Voyager needs 75 years to go most of that distance.
There's a reason I mention Transwarp and Slipstream.
Hows this for an experiment. Transwarp drive through Warp Space. Hows that for getting yourselves hopelessly lost.

I volunteer Neelix for this experiment.

Lonestar · Post by **Lonestar** » 2006-12-09 09:35pm

Tasoth wrote:Is this just the Tau from the Tau empire or the Auxillaries, like Kroot, Vespids and Dhow? Suddenly launch strikes at the more violent ST races homeworlds with the equivalent of special ops aboriginals/indians and psychic races would be immensely funny and lop sided. Picture a bunch of Klingons, having recently thrown down their disruptors in favor of the ol' bat'leth, letting loose a battle cry and streaming from cover. Into concentrated rifle fire followed through with a mass of screaming bird men with strangely bayoneted rifles once they get close enough and through the fire. Such a lovely image.

I should have clarified: The Tau Empire, in it's entirety, is put in the Milky way and replaces whatever was there before it did. Whether or not you want to include the Farsight Enclaves, world's currently under dispute, or just the Tau Empire proper is up to you.

Yes, this includes auxillaries like the Kroot wrolds (Pech, etc) and misc. alien worlds.

Post by **K. A. Pital** » 2006-12-10 01:24am

Oh god. Why do people keep putting various WH40K factions, of which any could level the entire Trekverse quite frankly, against the Star Trek humans?

I could see all of ST humans becoming gue'vesa pretty fast. After all, it's not like they'd be keeping loyalty once their central government and starfleet are wiped out, and that the TAU will do in a few moments.

"No one can stand against the Greater Good". Aun'va would have great fun. And the Borg... railguns = kill. Borg would be deemed offending the Greater Good and thus wiped out. After the Tau have the Milky Way galaxy, they would probably try to get hold of more advanced technologies to allow intergalactic travel.

And how much punishment can the UFP and other Trek factions take? Not much; the Tau almost succeded in building a ship with Lunar-class-equivalent firepower. This image from WR's sig rings true as ever:

Slacker · Post by **Slacker** » 2006-12-10 01:48am

As badly as the Tau would utterly buttrape the Federation...would they, necesarily? There's no doubt that they'd bend the Borg over, and probably go housecleaning elsewhere...but the tooth-ache sugar rush that is the hippy Federation ideal-cooperation for the betterment of all, and all that crap, isn't all that different from the Tau ethic, aside from the lack of Etherals. Which can be forgiven by the fact that, well, they didn't exist in the universe until very recently.

The Tau play their cards right, they never have to fire a shot on a Feddie starship, and just take them over gradually, but without bloodshed. Which fits their normal standard operating procedure *anyway*.

Lonestar · Post by **Lonestar** » 2006-12-10 02:01am

Slacker wrote:As badly as the Tau would utterly buttrape the Federation...would they, necesarily? There's no doubt that they'd bend the Borg over, and probably go housecleaning elsewhere...but the tooth-ache sugar rush that is the hippy Federation ideal-cooperation for the betterment of all, and all that crap, isn't all that different from the Tau ethic, aside from the lack of Etherals. Which can be forgiven by the fact that, well, they didn't exist in the universe until very recently.

The Tau play their cards right, they never have to fire a shot on a Feddie starship, and just take them over gradually, but without bloodshed. Which fits their normal standard operating procedure *anyway*.

"Before we continue with these negotiations, would you mind wearing these hats? It's a Cultural thing."

Fed: "Sure!"

Adrian Laguna · Post by **Adrian Laguna** » 2006-12-10 02:29am

SirNitram wrote:With ST Warp Drive, the Tau Empire can blossom.

That might not even be necessary. Assuming The Warp exists at all in the Star Trek universe, and thus Tau FTL drives actually work, it's likely that the Warp would be singularly calm. The Tau might be able to get away with simply pointing their ships in the direction they want to go.

Xon · Post by **Xon** » 2006-12-10 03:39am

Lost Soal wrote:Hows this for an experiment. Transwarp drive through Warp Space. Hows that for getting yourselves hopelessly lost.

Navigation around the galaxy isnt that hard. You have all those galaxies which arent going to change position much outside our galaxy.

This isnt a Xeelee nightfighter which can travel fast enough that navigation via local group positioning isnt good enough. (A Human controlled nightfighter was limited to 100000 lightyear jumps and was jumping often enough to generate visible motion blur of the near by galaxies)

Slacker · Post by **Slacker** » 2006-12-10 11:05am

Lonestar wrote: "Before we continue with these negotiations, would you mind wearing these hats? It's a Cultural thing."

Fed: "Sure!"

Exactly. Flash forward a hundred years, an Etheral is Federation President, Klingons are members of the Fire Caste, and Star Trek space communism is replaced by...40k Space communism.

Well, at least they're not sissies anymore.

Post by **K. A. Pital** » 2006-12-10 11:23am

Klingons are members of the Fire Caste

No, don't think so.. Their maximum is something like the Kroot. And even here they suck, because the Kroot can absorb genetic material of stricken enemies, the Klingons can.. what? Nothing. They'll be even worse than gue'vesa.

Hey, at least some of the Trekverse technologies would be used to their fullest potential in the hands of the Tau (trek is offensively badly using it's own high-tech, so bad it's not even funny).

andrewgpaul · Post by **andrewgpaul** » 2006-12-10 01:42pm

Lonestar wrote: I should have clarified: The Tau Empire, in it's entirety, is put in the Milky way and replaces whatever was there before it did. Whether or not you want to include the Farsight Enclaves, world's currently under dispute, or just the Tau Empire proper is up to you.

Yes, this includes auxillaries like the Kroot wrolds (Pech, etc) and misc. alien worlds.

I think this puts them just clockwise of the Dominion. So, conquer the Dominion, through the Wormhole, take Cardassia then move onto the Federation, Klingon Empire, and Romulan Empires, then home in thime for Christmas

(does anyone have links to 40K and Trek galaxy maps, to prove whether or not I'm talking gibberish?)

Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba · Post by **Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba** » 2006-12-10 02:33pm

andrewgpaul wrote:
Lonestar wrote: I should have clarified: The Tau Empire, in it's entirety, is put in the Milky way and replaces whatever was there before it did. Whether or not you want to include the Farsight Enclaves, world's currently under dispute, or just the Tau Empire proper is up to you.

Yes, this includes auxillaries like the Kroot wrolds (Pech, etc) and misc. alien worlds.
I think this puts them just clockwise of the Dominion. So, conquer the Dominion, through the Wormhole, take Cardassia then move onto the Federation, Klingon Empire, and Romulan Empires, then home in thime for Christmas

(does anyone have links to 40K and Trek galaxy maps, to prove whether or not I'm talking gibberish?)

Dominion is Gamma Quadrant, which is a long ways away from where the Tau start.