Picking apart GK's fanfic

[seanrobertson]

Grand Admiral Thrawn]ST ships are not invunerable to lasers.

, regardless of how the detonator works.

No offense, but what does that have to do with lasers?

Season 4, Ep# 76: "Suddenly Human"

DATA: Talarian warships are limited to neutral particle weapons, high-energy X-ray lasers and merculite rockets. No match for the Enterprise, Captain.

So the E-D is invulnerable to lasers right?

Season 4, Ep# 76: "Suddenly Human"

RIKER: Geordi, the Talarians are moving into attack posture. Classic triangular envelopment.
GEORDI: I've tapped the impulse engines for additional power to shields, Commander. We're ready.


They needed to tap power from the impulse engines. But surely the magical navigational deflector will save us!

I agree that the idea of navigational deflectors being "immune"
to lasers is silly. (I don't even get *why* nav deflectors would block
lasers. I thought they were meant to push micro-meteorites--stuff with mass--out of a starship's path while at warp speeds?)

However, I don't think what you're citing is a good example. At least,
your conclusion is a little off given one of your premises.

Specifically, Talarian ships are known to mount particle beams and
"merculite rockets" in addition to their lasers. Why, then, assume
that only the lasers pose a threat to Enterprise?

Please take no offense, as I recognize this is a very minor point;
nonetheless, so far as I know there is no canon evidence that
lasers used by the more primitive Trek races were ever a threat
to the E-D. (More powerful lasers certainly could be, but that's not
what I'm driving at.)

Season 2, Ep# 32: "Loud as a Whisper"

WORF: I'm reading laser activity in the Solari Solar System!
RIKER: How concentrated is the activity?
WORF: It is localized -- and very intense.
RIKER: So much for the cease-fire.
PICARD: Open hailing frequencies.
WORF: I can establish voice only.
PICARD: This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard, commander of the Federation starship USS Enterprise. If you continue to violate the rules by breaking the cease-fire, I will abort this mission.
FIRST LEADER: You have no jurisdiction here, Picard. Where is Riva?
PICARD: Riva is in charge of the summit. I command the ship that brings him. I will not endanger my ship under any circumstances.

Endanger the ship? But they're mearly lasers!

"Under any circumstances" would include while the ship lowered her
shields to beam Riva down to the negotiation area. Further, it's possible
those ships carried more than laser weapons; e.g., nuclear missiles.

Sean
Analyst http://www.babtech-onthe.net/

[seanrobertson]

I second that "ugh," but not for the reasons everyone is stating

To continue to deviate from the pack a bit, I've got to say, jeez, guys.
I realize the man himself never says as much in public, but Graham
wrote that story to *piss us off.* He's told me more than once how
it was geared to raise Warsie dandur--nothing less, nothing more.
Being on friendly terms with the guy helps. (He's not NEARLY as stupid
or ignorant as he's being made out to be in this thread...and though
I agree with Darth Michael in that "Portal" is masturbatory, I'm not
sure who's getting wanked off more: Graham's delusional take of
Wars vs. Trek, or all of the people that take his story so seriously!)

Graham's actually a good guy, and no, he's not a creationist--he's
a weak agnostic FWTW. Nice fellow. His website is really a lot of fun IMO, in spite of its mistakes. But for God's sake, *don't* take that story as a realistic take on SW vs. ST. For that matter, you might want to ignore ALL mentions of SI units on the site. If you can do that, you might enjoy it LOL.

Most can't get beyond that. I realize it is hard. But if you are to
look at his website, do *try*. It'll make the experience MUCH less
painful, my friends.

Sean
http://www.babtech-onthe.net/

P.S.--I wouldn't rag on the man's writing skills too much, either. I might
not think his take on the versus scenario is on target, but he's written
quite a lot of original science fiction. And in my capacity as an Eng.
literature degree holder (no, only *I* can wipe my ass with the degree,
thankyouverymuch , I will say that what I've seen is very, very well-written stuff. Not James Joyce, but that's not what it aspires to be.

[Grand Admiral Thrawn]

I agree that the idea of navigational deflectors being "immune"
to lasers is silly. (I don't even get *why* nav deflectors would block
lasers. I thought they were meant to push micro-meteorites--stuff with mass--out of a starship's path while at warp speeds?)

However, I don't think what you're citing is a good example. At least,
your conclusion is a little off given one of your premises.

Specifically, Talarian ships are known to mount particle beams and
"merculite rockets" in addition to their lasers. Why, then, assume
that only the lasers pose a threat to Enterprise?

Conceeded.

Please take no offense, as I recognize this is a very minor point;
nonetheless, so far as I know there is no canon evidence that
lasers used by the more primitive Trek races were ever a threat
to the E-D. (More powerful lasers certainly could be, but that's not
what I'm driving at.)

If the laser is weak, it isn't. If it's strong, it's a threat,

"Under any circumstances" would include while the ship lowered her
shields to beam Riva down to the negotiation area. Further, it's possible
those ships carried more than laser weapons; e.g., nuclear missiles.

Sean
Analyst http://www.babtech-onthe.net/

However, the navigational deflector doesn't wreck transport.

And there is no proof of nukes. He mearly heard lasers.

[Master of Ossus]

I've seen his website, and I did like most of what I saw. His technical ineptitude, though, is inexcusable. I only like the parts of his site that are editorials (his rants and stated opinions on things) and his summaries of episodes. He takes ST very seriously, but his numbers are so poor as to almost prove that he is lying regularly in an attempt to bolster SF's meager defenses. I found portal to be inexcusable, and his numbers to be flawed to the point of purposeful deformation of the truth.

[Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi]

My teacher once failed to have a correct answer on more than 30% of the test that she gave us (the multiple-choice section), and on two more of the forty-five questions, the answer letter that was right was marked incorrect and we had to argue with her about what the answer should have been. And that was not nearly the worst thing she did to us!

That reminds me of my Geometry teacher. I had a nice conversation with her, which ended with my saying:

"No, it can't be a linear function. Look at it! It's a parabola!"

That's the problem with the US education system. The teachers don't know what they're teaching! Especially the ones that are too busy having with their students! We should get more qualified teachers. I'm not saying that all teachers are morons. The only arguments that went on in my algebra class with the teacher were usually about which college had the better football team.

On another note, my dad's gym teacher was an Olympic bronze medalist.

On ye another note, this was an off-topic rant, and it should be ignored, so I'm going back on topic.

I bet most the mail/fan mail GK receives is evenly split: One fan mail, one mail. And the fan mail commends him for writing such a funny story.

[Master of Ossus]

Yes, we need more qualified teachers and not just more teachers.

On topic, GK said that 95% of his mail is positive on Portal. I know it's disgusting, but look at his FAQ. 95% of people are MORONS for reading that and liking that story.

[Stravo]

Yes, we need more qualified teachers and not just more teachers.

On topic, GK said that 95% of his mail is positive on Portal. I know it's disgusting, but look at his FAQ. 95% of people are MORONS for reading that and liking that story.

Then again, Master of Ossus, he could be lying...after reading that pile of shit it would not surprise me....OR the vast majority of us were simply too busy washing our eyes out and going to therapy to take the time and write him.

[Master of Ossus]

Yes, he certainly could be messing with figures. It's not like he doesn't have a history of doing that.

BTW, Stravo, what kind of a writer are you? Do you work from an outline, or from your head? Or do you just kind of put the characters down and follow what would happen (watch-maker technique)? How are you writing your fanfic?

[Stravo]

Yes, he certainly could be messing with figures. It's not like he doesn't have a history of doing that.

BTW, Stravo, what kind of a writer are you? Do you work from an outline, or from your head? Or do you just kind of put the characters down and follow what would happen (watch-maker technique)? How are you writing your fanfic?

Well, mostly its in my head, I just don't have the discipline to write it out on an outline, the few times I did, I ended up ad libbing and changing things as I wrote because ideas occur to me as I write and while going to and from work. During my commute I listen to music, mostly movie soundtracks and it acts as a brainstorming session, where the vast majority of my ideas comes as scenes from a movie playing in my head.

Sometimes the story or charcters speak to me (NO I'm not crazy) and tell me which way to go, in the end it comes down to this, when I sit down in front of the computer and I start a story I know the begiining and the ned, and a handful of scenes linking the two, the rest is filled in as I go along.

What about you? You have had some greta advice for me in the past, what's your style?

[XaLEv]

Perhaps only a tiny number of people have actually mailed him about it. It could be that the rabid trekkies get such a hard on over it that they fall all over themselves mailing him praises. Anyone with intelligence greater than that of a concussed rock will probably spend a very long time curled up on the floor, and will not have time to tell him just how awful his 'story' was.

[Master of Ossus]

Yes, he certainly could be messing with figures. It's not like he doesn't have a history of doing that.

BTW, Stravo, what kind of a writer are you? Do you work from an outline, or from your head? Or do you just kind of put the characters down and follow what would happen (watch-maker technique)? How are you writing your fanfic?

Well, mostly its in my head, I just don't have the discipline to write it out on an outline, the few times I did, I ended up ad libbing and changing things as I wrote because ideas occur to me as I write and while going to and from work. During my commute I listen to music, mostly movie soundtracks and it acts as a brainstorming session, where the vast majority of my ideas comes as scenes from a movie playing in my head.

Sometimes the story or charcters speak to me (NO I'm not crazy) and tell me which way to go, in the end it comes down to this, when I sit down in front of the computer and I start a story I know the begiining and the ned, and a handful of scenes linking the two, the rest is filled in as I go along.

What about you? You have had some greta advice for me in the past, what's your style?

I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. It's wonderful when that happens. BTW, I keep my outline in my head, too. That way I can change it more easily when I decide that I could do something better if I altered what was going on. Listen to the characters. They've never given me bad advice. And stick with what works. Don't change anything when nothing is broken.

[Anarchist Bunny]

Well, mostly its in my head, I just don't have the discipline to write it out on an outline, the few times I did, I ended up ad libbing and changing things as I wrote because ideas occur to me as I write and while going to and from work. During my commute I listen to music, mostly movie soundtracks and it acts as a brainstorming session, where the vast majority of my ideas comes as scenes from a movie playing in my head.

Yeah, I have like a Ten long saga DBZ Fan Fic in my head, but the accually righting it is hard as hell.

I was going to read the fanfic before I started reading this thread, but then I read GAT's first post and could make it through the longer excerts.

[AdmiralKanos]

I'll bet one of my wife's blowjobs that GK is lying about his positive feedback about "Portal". Even rabid Trekkies at places like sb.com, ASVS (or here) admit that it's an unreadable embarassment.

[Master of Ossus]

I'll bet one of my wife's blowjobs that GK is lying about his positive feedback about "Portal". Even rabid Trekkies at places like sb.com, ASVS (or here) admit that it's an unreadable embarassment.

I think your's is the safest bet, though it still is pretty funny that he is crediting 95% of the feedback as being positive. Maybe we should talk to GK about that. After all, he says he has a thick skin for flames.

[Stravo]

Well, mostly its in my head, I just don't have the discipline to write it out on an outline, the few times I did, I ended up ad libbing and changing things as I wrote because ideas occur to me as I write and while going to and from work. During my commute I listen to music, mostly movie soundtracks and it acts as a brainstorming session, where the vast majority of my ideas comes as scenes from a movie playing in my head.

Yeah, I have like a Ten long saga DBZ Fan Fic in my head, but the accually righting it is hard as hell.

I was going to read the fanfic before I started reading this thread, but then I read GAT's first post and could make it through the longer excerts.

I'm not one to give writing advice because I honestly don't know how I do it, but the best way to write for me is to just do it! Write and keep on writing and eventually it will flow. Sometimes I have so many ideas in my head I just HAVE to write so I can stop thinking about them!

[Evil Sadistic Bastard]

I wish i could write. I TRY to write, but it somehow falls flat.

[Stravo]

I wish i could write. I TRY to write, but it somehow falls flat.

Read some fan fics, liek Mike's Conquest which inspired me and you start to see how it should look, how it should sound, how it should flow...you're not going to be shakespaere but its a start....#1 believe in yourself....#2 its ALOT of work so be ready for that

[Mr. B]

[quote="Stravo]
Read some fan fics, liek Mike's Conquest which inspired me and you start to see how it should look, how it should sound, how it should flow...you're not going to be shakespaere but its a start....#1 believe in yourself....#2 its ALOT of work so be ready for that[/quote]


I have been writing mt fanfic and it has been a lot of work. I have gotten a lot of writers block but I should be ready to post it soon.

[MagicHateBall]

I wish i could write. I TRY to write, but it somehow falls flat.

Keep trying. The only way you'll get better is through practice. Also, find a couple of people who's opinions you trust, and who you know will give it to you straight, and not sugarcoat what they think.
Also, Stravo has a good point -- read stuff in the genres you'd like to write for. And don't just read the good stuff either -- read some bad stuff too, and look at what makes it bad, what mistakes the author made, and don't make the same ones.

[Master of Ossus]

I, too, am writing a story. I hope it will be published someday, but if they reject it I will post it, instead. It's not a crossover, pure SW.

[MagicHateBall]

Good luck, MoO. I hope that the publishers think your work is fit for the shelves.
And just in case, could you throw in a line or two about mult- teraton HTLs on ISDs?

[Antediluvian]

I have thought about writing a fanfic based on the Cthulhu Mythos, but I always seem too busy to write it.

[Stravo]

I just thought of the ONLY SOLE AND EXCLUSIVE good thing about GK's Portal....it brought us together to talk about writing and fan fics.....

[Darth Wong]

True enough.

BTW, my personal advice for people who are thinking of writing a fanfic: just start writing. What's the worst that can possibly happen? People won't like it? So what? It's not as if you're going to lose your job, or your dick will shrivel up and fall off.

The act of writing requires practice, whether it be arguments, essays, news articles, or fiction stories. Even if you write a fanfic and it sucks, you will learn from the experience and your next one will be better.

PS. I suppose I should add that this only applies if you are genuinely trying to write a good fanfic. If you're not sincerely trying to write a decent story and you're just trying to masturbate via fiction (much like pathetic losers who write sex stories about women being raped and humiliated because they can't get laid in real life, or people like GK who write stories showing ST royally kicking SW's ass because they can't win an argument about it), then you won't learn anything from the experience.

[The Yosemite Bear]

Thanks If I had my new glasses I would be writting right now....

I have some of my other work available at the Fanfic archive over at Daltonator.net.