star trek: rebellion

[haas mark]

Where's the retyped fic?

Not typed yet. I have it edited, just not on the comp yet.

[haas mark]

Okay, so it's four days late, but here's part two. I didn't change much more than wording in a few places, but a lot of punctuation, grammar, and spelling in a few more.



The burning of the Cardassian ship spun slowly away from the combat zone. The Marquis fighters that had been its executioners turned back toward the now outnumbered and outgunned runabouts, who, seeing that both of their heavy craft had been destroyed, decided that digression was the better part of valour, and fled.

"Ha! They're running!" hooted Michael's co-pilot.

"Do you blame them?" asked Michael, as he looked at the burning ruins of the two enemy capital ships.

"What the hell are we going to do about that thing?" Escort Alpha's flight commander, a young human woman, asked. She didn't say what "it" was, but no one in the Marquis group needed to be told that she was referring to the giant alien vessel.

"We can't leave it for the feds." Michael gazed at the massive ship. "Convoy, this is Escort One."

"Got you, Escort One."

"Move into orbit, and beam down your cargo. Then come back here and help us tractor this big bugger. Who knows what tech we can get out of it?"



Antara regained consciousness lying next to what had been the environmental control station. Its unfortunate officer, whose name Antara was ashamed to not be able to remember, had been smashed into the screen. He was undoubtedly dead. Live people had more blood left in them. Artificial gravity must have gone offline.

The last thing she remembered had been blasting past the crippled interdictor and engaging hyperdrive. After that was fuzzy; she vaguely remembered a feeling of being much heavier than normal, and then brightness, and then waking up here. The problem, of course, was, wehre was "here"? She pulled herself to her feet and moved to check the rest of her bridge crew.



"Tractors are having some problems locking on to it."

Michael sighed. "Try boosting power." I fthey didn't get done soon, then Star Fleet reinforcements would arrive.

"OK, we've got it."

"Everybody, let's start slow. Half impulse 'til we get to warp distance."



There was a thump and a beep from the sensor station. Antara loooked up from where she was using a medical pack on her first officer; he would live as far as ahe and the med-pack sensors could determine, but he was still unconscious. Nearby, her tactical officer (the only one of her bridge crew save herself that was still conscious) looked up from the body of the sensor officer, and stared at the sensor station. He looked at Antara, shocked. "We're going FTL. Without hyperdrive."



Deep Space Nine

Benjamin Sisko looked from the report to the three Star Fleet personnel standing at stiff attention in front of him. It was incredible. If it had not been for the sensor data, he would have had trouble believing it. An alien ship, of unknown design and huge size, had just appeared at just the wrong timefor the USS Cardinal; even worse, this gargantuan ship oculd now be assumed to be in the hands of the Marquis. He looked at the nervous officers in front of him. "As far as I can see, you have done nothing wrong. There will, of course, be a full investigation. But until that happens, you may return to duty. I don't have to tell you to tell no one baout this incident. Dismissed." He turned to the comm screen on the wall. "Get me Star Fleet command."

[FBHthelizardmage]

cool i'll mail you the next part later.

[haas mark]

cool i'll mail you the next part later.

All right, that'll be good. BTW, I forgot a few minor nitpicks (but it was great overall).

Well, just one nitpick. Keep dialogue as a new paragraph for each new speaker.

I'm not big on ST, but I liked DS9, and I DO look forward to reading more.

[FBHthelizardmage]

ok.

i'm not the worlds biggest star trek fan either. However the one faction I do have sympathy for is the Marquis hence them getting a big star war ship.

[FBHthelizardmage]

hopefullY I shall mail the next part (bit longer this time )to Verilon for edition tommarow.

sorry for the delay.

[Stravo]

A small bit of advice that was relayed to me when I started writing my own rather insignificant fanfic. Don't rush anything. These scoundrels will be begging for more chapters even before they finished reading the current one but it has been my experience that a rushed chapter can be easily spotted. It simply doesn't flow as well or there are some problems with dialogue.

So don't rush things, these same guys that are begging for more will be the first to rip it to shreds if it sucks major ass. So go ahead and work at you're own pace, you'll be happier with your work and so will they.