Moving Forward - An original short story

UF: Stories written by users, both fanfics and original.

Moderator: LadyTevar

Post Reply
User avatar
Shinova
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 10193
Joined: 2002-10-03 08:53pm
Location: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Moving Forward - An original short story

Post by Shinova »

Here's a short story I came up with. I've been writing some pretty good poems (judging from what reviews on this board have said) and thought I should try to write a fic and attempty to make it of good quality as well. So anyway, here's my original short story:




Moving Forward



Tom Mello grabbed the railing in front of him and leaned forward. Down below him was the "pit", as everyone liked to call it. A vat filled with chemicals needed to produce the substance dubbed "The Fuel". The Fuel could be called the blood that ran civilization, or at least Tom's civilization. It ran everything from electricity, vehicles, household appliances--everything. Nothing was free from the touch of the Fuel.

Tom worked in the factory--a typical laborer. Unlike most other factories, employees here were paid fairly well...relative to those other factories of course. His salary was still nothing close to those earned by the high-overseers, who usually made a trillion times of what Tom made in a century in a single hour. The wealth difference was astounding and atrocious, but why nobody complained...that was a great mystery.

"Hey, Tom! Are you working?" a gruff voice called from below where Tom was standing. He turned around and looked down.

The speaker was Victor Capitan, son of Avaric Capitan, the lesser-oversser who ran this factory and a few others. Victor was also the supervisor, and the rank entitled him to the power of employement. Simply put, it meant that Victor Capitan could fire or hire anyone he wanted to.

"Yes, I was just checking the Pit for corrosion," Tom called back. Corrosion--there was hardly any corrosion in the Pit, ever.

"Alright, but make sure you work." Victor then walked away, perhaps to harass some other employee, Tom thought.

"How's work?" another voice called to Tom.

What is up with people and me?, Tom thought as he turned to George Freeman, another employee.

"Yes?" Tom asked.

"I said how's work?"

"Oh, it's just fine."

"Yeah....Just fine it always is," George grumbled, walking away.

Strange guy, Tom thought, watching the figure walk back to his station.

Tom stepped down from the walkway surrounding the pit and went back to his own station, which was at least twenty paces away from the vat itself. He found himself running back those twenty paces when an alarm sounded through the factory.

"Impurity inside processing unit A-05. Impurity inside processing unit A-05," a computerized voice called through the PA system. It meant that something had fallen into the Pit and had to be taken out.

Tom got to the vat before anybody else. He ran up the stairs onto the walkway and leaned over the railing to look into the Pit. There was a man's hand reaching up out of the eddy of chemicals, as if trying to grab onto something.

"Oh shit! We've got someone in the Pit!" Tom yelled as two other workers rushed up onto the walkway. They stood beside him and glanced down at the hand.

"Alright, let's calm down and get the thing out of there," one of the workers said.

"I'll shut down the unit," Tom said, rushing for the controls.

"No!"

The voice stopped Tom and he turned around to see Victor Capitan running towards where Tom and the two other workers were.

"You can't do that!" Victor yelled. "You'll shut this whole row down!"

"But the guy's in there!" Tom shouted, pointing at the hand poking out of the chemical-laden vat. "We've got to get him ou--"

"I know, I know!" Victor yelled, gazing down at the vat. "That fool's gonna pollute the ingredients! Hell, he's probably clogged the intakes already!"

"But that's a man down there!"

"I know! You think I'm blind! He's man, yeah, okay! But fucking stupid of him to fall in!"

A fairly plump man with beady eyes and square glasses approached the men. "You four! Victor, what are you doing!?" he shouted as he climbed the stairs and came to stand next to the workers.

"Dad, I was just," Victor began to say.

"Why aren't you getting that man out of there?" Avaric Capitan yelled.

"That's what I--"

"We're already behind schedule! We can't afford to lose any more time! Now get that man out of there, make sure the vat's clean, and get this whole thing back in progress again!"

"Alright." Victor turned to the three employees. "Come'on! Let's get this job done!"

Two operated a crane while the other two guided the whole process with shouts and hand signals. Eventually the fallen worker was extracted without too much trouble.

"Alright, I'm gonna take this dude to the furnace now. Tom, get the machine started up again. And make sure to check for clogs!" Victor said, walking away, two employees carrying the fallen worker by the limbs. The poor fellow appeared to be dead.

A red-haired worker walked up to Tom and joined the latter in watching the dead worker be carried away toward the furnaces.

"Why are they taking him to the furnaces?" Tom asked the redhead.

"Incineration, of course," the red-haired man replied.

"Why? Wouldn't the guy have relations or something?"

"Are you talking about family?" the redhead asked, with disbelieving eyes.

"Well..."

"You must be really not up-to-date. Who in their right mind would belong to a family?

"I mean, why? A family? Give me a break! That's such an obsolete practice! Why go for something so inefficient and trauma-inducing as a family? Why put such an atrocious burden on a potential citizen? Family, an institution with the ridiculous notion that a 'father' and a 'mother' should raise their children!

"And speaking of children, why would any woman want to undergo such a painful and tedious procedure? Just donate your egg to the nearest Citizenry Center for proper eugenics! And sex!? Why would any dignified, civilized citizen lower themselves to the status of animals by engaging themselves in such a primitive behavior!?"

"Yeah, it is pretty dirty," Tom added.

"Dirty? Dirty!? It's horrendous! Primitive, I tell you! Primitive! And as for stupid hormones acting up, all you need to do is to eradicate the symptoms at your nearest Citizenry Center. Simple as that, and that way you won't have stupid, bothersome 'urges', if I may use such a vulgar word, impeding your work progress. Progress! Commited to progress, no matter the cost," the redhead finished with the company motto of the Global Corp, the corporate entity that governed the world. The same organization that was credited with the liberation of Humanity from its primitive past.

Committed to progress, no matter the cost.

That was the logo Tom saw as he drove home. The Global Corp's logo, a picture of the Earth surrounded by a halo, symbolizing control and stability. Commited to progress, no matter the cost.

When Tom arrived home, he found his roommate, John Foreman, already lounging on the sofa, watching television.

"How's work?" Tom asked John.

"Just fine, and got off early. The whole day was fine till I was actually on my way home," John said.

"Why's that?"

"Some idiot had the nerve to speed up at the wrong time and get himself into a car accident!"

"Oh, I see."

"Yeah! fucking bastard wasted a hour of my time! Of everyone's time! That fuckwit deserved the fifty rounds the cops put into him. Slowing everyone else down--such an idiot."

Tom nodded and headed for the shower.

-----------------------------------------------------

There's that for my original fic. I might continue it, or I may let it end here. Either way, I hope you've enjoyed it.
What's her bust size!?

It's over NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!!!!
User avatar
Kuja
The Dark Messenger
Posts: 19322
Joined: 2002-07-11 12:05am
Location: AZ

Post by Kuja »

Wow. That's pretty scary. VERY, well written
Image
JADAFETWA
User avatar
haas mark
Official SD.Net Insomniac
Posts: 16533
Joined: 2002-09-11 04:29pm
Location: Wouldn't you like to know?
Contact:

Post by haas mark »

Wow.....I should read it again when not so hyper.....but still very good.
Robert-Conway.com | lunar sun | TotalEnigma.net

Hot Pants à la Zaia | BotM Lord Monkey Mod OOK!
SDNC | WG | GDC | ACPATHNTDWATGODW | GALE | ISARMA | CotK: [mew]

Formerly verilon

R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero, 09 October 1967 - 13 November 2005


Image
Post Reply