Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

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Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

Post by The Romulan Republic » 2018-03-05 05:59pm

Posting this in User Fiction rather than Star Wars because its a writing-related discussion.

All the talk about the Sequel Trilogy has lead me to wonder: if we could rewrite it however we pleased, what would people want to see? If you had had control over the story, what would you have written?

This isn't mean to be a Sequel bashing thread. Nor is it mean to be a Sequel-defending thread. I mostly like the Sequels. Others disagree. However, we all have our own perspective on what we would like to see in a Star Wars film, and I dare say we all have things that we would do differently, weather its a few minor tweaks or a full-on rewrite.

So, I present to you two options:

Option 1. Rewrite the ST, keeping the same basic premise and tropes. That is:

A Neo-Imperial-style villain with a Dark Side Force user as the primary antagonist.
A Rebels vs. Imperials-style galactic conflict.
A "nobody" female protagonist becoming a Jedi and discovering their destiny.
Greater diversity in casting overall.

Episode VII: A search for Luke plot and an Imperial super weapon plot.

Episode VIII: Protagonists on the retreat, a Jedi training plot, a bitter/demoralized/otherwise "fallen" Luke to start with. Darker tone but overall optimistic ending. Greater exploration of the nature of the Force.

Option Two: Full rewrite. You basically set the clock back to when Disney bought Star Wars. You can do what you like with the EU, but all film material is canon. Aside from that, you can do whatever you please.

The only other caveat is that it has to be something that it would be practical to film and screen as a major motion picture.

Edit: Added to the Episode VIII requirements.
"Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid. As a nation, we began by declaring that "all men are created equal." We now practically read it "all men are created equal, except negroes" When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read "all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics." When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty -- to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy." - Lincoln.

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Re: Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-03-05 06:59pm

I wouldn't change a thing. The sequels are going in the direction George probably would have taken, and butthurt Jedi-wanking fanboys are what the fandom needs to grow beyond.
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Re: Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

Post by The Romulan Republic » 2018-03-05 07:06pm

U.P. Cinnabar wrote:
2018-03-05 06:59pm
I wouldn't change a thing. The sequels are going in the direction George probably would have taken, and butthurt Jedi-wanking fanboys are what the fandom needs to grow beyond.
I don't entirely disagree (though I think Lucas's approach would have been somewhat different).

But I did explicitly say that the point of this thread was not to argue over the merits of the ST. Its a what-if/alternate reality thread. And I'd rather this topic not get derailed on the second post.
"Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid. As a nation, we began by declaring that "all men are created equal." We now practically read it "all men are created equal, except negroes" When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read "all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics." When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty -- to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy." - Lincoln.

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Re: Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-03-05 07:07pm

You asked what I'd do. I answered.

Moving along.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
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"The Constitution's a piece of paper. A kick in the head is a jolt."
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Re: Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

Post by ray245 » 2018-03-05 07:17pm

U.P. Cinnabar wrote:
2018-03-05 07:07pm
You asked what I'd do. I answered.

Moving along.
If you're not interested in this topic, why bother posting in the first place? It feels like a drive-by flaming against people you disagreed with while preventing others from responding to you.
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Re: Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

Post by Gandalf » 2018-03-05 08:40pm

Less Han Solo, and more Luke.

Old Man Luke made TLJ awesome, so more of him couldn't go wrong.
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Re: Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

Post by ray245 » 2018-03-05 08:46pm

Gandalf wrote:
2018-03-05 08:40pm
Less Han Solo, and more Luke.

Old Man Luke made TLJ awesome, so more of him couldn't go wrong.
That would have run into the problem the writers of EP 7 were facing. Too much Luke means too little room for Rey to shine.
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Re: Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

Post by TheFeniX » 2018-03-06 01:29pm

U.P. Cinnabar wrote:
2018-03-05 06:59pm
I wouldn't change a thing. The sequels are going in the direction George probably would have taken, and butthurt Jedi-wanking fanboys are what the fandom needs to grow beyond.
I want to get in on the Jedi Wanking! Following the Dark Forces: Jedi-Knight story. Except you've got Kyla Katarn (or whatever) who ended up schlepping with Solo and Chewbacca for a few years. They then get attacked because Jerec finds out who Kyla's father is, queue her quest to find a lightsaber in a garage with Leia acting as a remote advisor and having some time to reconnect with Solo a bit before he gets killed off. She saves the Valley of the Dinosaurs (Jedi) from the Dark Jedi, and takes over the Falcon. Work in Poe and Finn in some kind of battle over Ruusan while Kyla and Solo get things done. Solo doesn't survive the event.

Maybe ditch the "gave up the force" angle of the next movie, but give Kyla a reason to go back to the Valley. Desann killing Jan gave Kyle this push, Desann then waited till Kyle left and started training his Reborn. Same thing, but maybe Chewy is a hostage. Also, maybe not make Desann a T-Rex. Reborn show up, Kyla is joined by LUKE SKYWALKER and they proceed to kick a bunch of scrub-Dark Jedi ass while having some fairly comical back-and-forths.

Crisis averted, Kyla settles down to help Luke train more Jedi on Yavin and the bullshit of Jedi-Academy comes into play. But you're got choices here since Kyla should still be relatively young whereas Kyle was getting on in years during the events of JA. So, she could still be the protag.

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Re: Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

Post by Crazedwraith » 2018-03-06 02:32pm

What are you looking for TRR. An outline and actual fanfic, just picking option A or B?

I mean I'd wished they'd gone for B but I don't have a trilogy of fics in me about it.
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Re: Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

Post by The Romulan Republic » 2018-03-06 02:35pm

Just an outline would be good. Though if anyone is inspired to write a full fic, more power to them. :)


For a slightly-edited version:

I de-canonize/alt.-universe Legends. Disney made the right call there, both as a practical matter of not tying the filmmakers' hands, and in clearing away a lot of questionable/contradictory canon. The best parts can be reintroduced where feasible. Oh, and while I'm on the subject of the EU, I put out some good RPGs/RTS games/a space ship tactical simulator. And an alt. universe Star Trek vs. Star Wars crossover comic or game, if I can negotiate it with Paramount (but this is getting rather off the main topic).

As to the ST:

TFA:

-A bit more time on the New Republic's politics (there were cut scenes from the actual film IIRC). Confirm that the Empire fractured after Endor, with the NR being the single biggest faction but other independent polities existing. Acknowledge that there is a debate over weather to deal with the FO directly, with a few radicals funneling supplies to Leia's Resistance. This will also give the destruction of Hosnia (which I might change to Coruscant) even more weight.

-We get a Han/Leia/Luke reunion on-screen. Could be a flashback, could mean keeping Han alive until the next film. A flashback would require smaller changes.

-Come up with a less contrived way of giving exposition on the Force to Rey.

-Tone down Rey's abilities with the Force a little. Not a lot though, I don't think they're that far out of line with what we've seen before. Especially considering where I'm going with Rey.

-Less comic relief with Finn (might go for TLJ too, although aside from his first scene, I don't recall anything much on that score).

-Make Phasma more a personal nemesis of Finn. Have her be the stormtrooper he fights at Maz's castle (not my idea, I think I've seen this one raised in discussions before). Make her a little harder to capture at the end.

-Rather than having R2 just sit there inactive until he randomly turns on at the end and divulges Luke's location, come up with a better way to resolve that plot. Maybe Luke had doubts about leaving, and left behind both parts of the message in places Leia would know to Luke, in case she ever needed to find him. Another possibility, as someone suggested in a recent thread (afraid I can't recall who), is to have the final piece of the map on Starkiller Base, to tie the two plots together.

TLJ:

-Less shippy stuff with Rey/Kylo.

-Slightly less drawn-out ending. I'd be tempted to have Luke live too, but that might just be the fan in me talking, especially since he can still be brought back as a Force ghost.

-Cut the Light/Dark Side balance stuff, maybe (though as is, it could just be Bitter Old Man Luke's subjective interpretation). Make a few other minor tweaks to how the Force is depicted, to make it fit more comfortably with what we've seen in prior canon.

-Drop a hint somewhere that Snoke is a former Imperial inquisitor (my preferred fan theory for his backstory)

-Give Phasma a bit more screen-time. If I want to change things a bit more, make her no longer part of the First Order after her failure in TFA. Have her as a merc. on Canto Bight, who either fights Finn and Rose or joins up with (and then maybe turns on) them in an effort to redeem herself. Hell, she could even take DJ's place, though I like DJ as a character.

-Alternately, keep Phasma alive and save that plot line for next film.

-Tone down the awkward comedy a bit, and make Hux slightly less blatantly a moron.

-Add a line about Resistance command being worried about spies, and some explanation for why they can't make a distress call from the ship (hey, maybe they're worried their coms have been hacked and that's how the FO is tracking them?), to close those plot holes.

-More flashbacks to Luke's Order (I've actually heard there was a bit more that was cut from the final film). This could be a way to have Han, Luke, and Leia on-screen together again. It could also be a chance to give a nod to Mara Jade as Luke's wife, and the death of his lover due to his failures would give more of a reason for him to turn his back on the galaxy.

-Play up the idea of Rey as a reincarnation of/new avatar of the Chosen One. Not sure about making her Luke's daughter. At this point, I'm inclined to say "no", but it would mean not giving the appearance of heavily-foreshadowing that in TFA.

-Work Lando in there somewhere if possible (or he could be one of Leia's NR contacts in TFA).


That's about everything, I think. I'll try a full-rewrite version later.
"Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid. As a nation, we began by declaring that "all men are created equal." We now practically read it "all men are created equal, except negroes" When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read "all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics." When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty -- to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy." - Lincoln.

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Re: Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

Post by LadyTevar » 2018-03-06 06:45pm

Keep Reye as a "nobody".
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Re: Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

Post by FaxModem1 » 2018-03-07 04:43am

Simple question, what is the sequel trilogy supposed to be about? There's a lot of carrying the torch, but due to the choices made, there's also a lot of 'everything the heroes did was pointless'. I'd like to remove that element, while still having a feel of 'the heroes did great things, but it's the job of the next generation to make things even better'.


Episode VII, VIII, and IX.

Han and Chewie are being chased by mercenaries in the falcon. Seems that the Hutts are trying to take over the trade routes. They do a lot of cat and mouse Chase's until it looks like our heroes are doomed. Until Luke leads Ben Solo, Rey, and a few other Jedi knights in fighters(not X-wings, it's been thirty years, they should have developed something better by now) to stop the mercenary pirates dead in their tracks. Cue space battle and Swashbuckler style repartee between the Jedi. After they finish, they go home to the capital of the New Republic.

This is important, as I want the audience to get to see the New Republic before we destroy it if we're going to for story reasons. What has this new government and era brought to the galaxy? Where has it prospered, and where has it failed? That's the contrast between Poe, Ben, and Rey. Poe had an upbringing where he didn't have to worry where his next meal was, Ben has led a life of rich privilege and then monastery life, while Rey used to work just to survive. Contrast this with Finn, who has all his needs met, but none of the liberty that Poe or Rey have. Also show that the problems of the Old Republic, corruption, apathy from the leadership and elites, suffering of the poor, etc, still exists. Antihuman xenophobia is rising due to the Empire's crimes. Leia is trying to fix that, Han is business partners with Lando ,their son Ben is getting fed up with the pointless bureaucracy of the New Republic, and while he is training under Luke, keeps on pointing out that both the Empire and the Rebellion killed their enemies and cut the Gordian Knot when a problem presented itself.

This isn't plot, but world building, which the movies needed a lot more of.

Holdo and Leia are going from one brushfire to the next, trying to keep the New Republic intact, as now that the Empire is a joke limited to a few core systems spread throughout the galaxy, old grudges are coming to the forefront. Luke's new Jedi order is helping, as peaceful mediators help share the load, but for the amount of problems they're having, they seem stretched thin.

There's also calls in the Senate to wipe out the Empire, and to make sure that the tyranny of the past can never return. Ben agrees with this, you're either good or evil, and there's no in-between. Luke counsels that such moves would do more damage than help. And where would it end? Is he going to kill the children of every stormtrooper that served in the Empire? He points out that most of them quit or defected after the Emperor's death, and the ones that are left are currently a threat to no one.

Ben keeps arguing that they aren't being proactive enough, they should also take care of the Hutts, once and for all. Send a squad of knights and wipe the slaving scum from the galaxy. Luke agrees that they need to be dealt with, but starting a war with a preemptive strike is a bad idea. Finally, the Republic is having mass kidnappings of children, as are other neutral governments. For a problem this big, they need to bring the gang back together.

Cue a Magnificent Seven style montage of bringing all the old faces together, even roping Lando into it as he's got quite a few contacts who might know what's going on.

Intercut this with young kids being kidnapped by masked figures, and being trained into Stormtroopers. This is how we meet Finn, as he's one of the older students, and we get to know his classmates, all pretty good kids being brainwashed by the new Imperial faction. Phasma keeping an ever watchful eye on them.

Our heroes find out that the Hutts are helping the Empire with fleet building, recruitment, materials, etc. While also stirring chaos in Republic space, in order to bring about a new war for the Hutts to take advantage of. They find Finn's training school, and Ben conflates Stormtroopers with evil. The only good Imperial is a dead Imperial.

Ben leads the knights, Rey refusing to join, with Republic senators like Snoke sending military fleets with who agree with him into Imperial space, and destroy the Empire. Luke and company are able to stop Ben, but they're too late. The last Imperial strongholds, utterly wiped out.

Funny thing though. Finn's camp? Yeah, they're not Imperials at all, they're soldiers of the Hutts, taught Imperial tactics by retired Imperials like General Veers to use as patsies against the New Republic and discredit the New Republic by making them attack unarmed Imperial worlds. The New Republic is starting to fall apart, due to the bloodthirsty-ness of Ben Solo, and the political fallout from the Jedi acting like their above the law. Human worlds start seceding, and the Hutts start becoming the new rival power.

Our heroes work to both stop Ben Solo from falling down the dark path, keeping the New Republic together, while also dealing with an upcoming Hutt invasion.
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Re: Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

Post by The Romulan Republic » 2018-03-07 04:18pm

LadyTevar wrote:
2018-03-06 06:45pm
Keep Reye as a "nobody".
I like the idea of her being a nobody who's special because of who SHE is, not family legacy.

That said, I really wanted Luke to have a family, because I felt like it would be a logical culmination of the Jedi Order's journey from shunning to embracing such attachments (leaving aside TFA's seeming foreshadowing, which can be discarded for the purpose of this scenario).

Though not having a family legacy doesn't necessarily rule out the idea of Rey being another chosen by the Force for some ultimate destiny. Anakin was a "nobody" in his origins (virgin birth silliness aside).
"Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid. As a nation, we began by declaring that "all men are created equal." We now practically read it "all men are created equal, except negroes" When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read "all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics." When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty -- to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy." - Lincoln.

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Re: Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

Post by Themightytom » 2018-03-08 04:28pm

I liked Timothy Zhan's continuation actually and I think Mara Jade could have been just as effective a protagonist but if we are rewriting a trilogy that changes characters I can see that not fitting the bill because Zahn probably didn't want to advance characters too far beyond what we saw in the OT in a book without the actors to ground them as recognizable, and he wrote his books before the prequel trilogy where Lucas made the clone wars... really nothing of the kind ans just an earlier civil war.

So along those lines, when do Star Wars end? What happens to one war's heroes when another begins? What about their children? How many civil wars before people can just learn to co exist, and what does the force have to say about it, that's where I'd go.

The Force awakens opens with a battle in space, a star destroyer taking fire from a New Republic fleet and falling into the atmosphere. Onboard the ship they have a British stiff upper lip Imperial Admiral and a skeleton crew of older Imperials who know the ship is lost but it was a diversion. They acknowledge they bought time for the academy to be evacuated but it's time to abandon ship. The last imperial star destroyer. All computers should be wiped so the New Republic can't track down survivors. The ship is still being boarded by wookiee commandos lead by General Hux who wants prisoners to interrogate. Finn is one of the last storm trooper recruits and fights with phasma to hold off the commandos so the crew can escape.

The raid is led by a Jedi, Kylo Ren, Phasma fights him off temporarily and saves Finn by shooting him in an escape pod. The Admiral is killed brutally with a lightsaber.

Rey watches the Star destroyer crash, and notices the surviving life pod. She goes to salvage it for parts, calling "The dealer".
She finds Finn who claims he is with the resistance, the Imperial resistance, against the Jedi.

Kylo meets with President Organa via hologram and reports no survivors but that the Star destroyer crashed to avid capture. Plasma and others are alive, his apprentice Ben is with his friend Pie who is a gifted pilot.
Poe objects to the lie. Ren tells him the children of the Jedi learned to understand war by almost being destroyed and that in war, the truth is written by the survivors. Ben continues to argue, Ren questions his loyalty to his aunt, or to his master. Ben stands down after Ren reminds him what happened to his father.

Rey and Finn meet Han with the salvage, Han knows who Finn really is but doesn't care. He doesn't hate storm troopers and the Empire surrendered a long time ago. He doesn't like what the New Republic has become. The New Republic has become an oppressive theocracy of the Jedi, Rey is force sensitive but must hide It, to avoid being conscripted into the New Jedi Order.

Leia calls Han to ask if he knows anything about what happened, she offers to give him the Falcon back, Ham says it is his, Leia says it is now government property, they argue.
After Endor, Luke tried to restore the Jedi, eventually taking Han and leia's son as an apprentice, as Leia worked to restore the Senate. The civil war ground on for twenty years. Finally the Senate demanded that the Jedi help with the war, Luke refused.

When Luke objected he was revealed as the son of Vader and accused of being a Sith trying to seek power by killing the Emperor and Vader, thwarted by the destruction of the death star. Kylo, Luke 's apprentice, dueled him and Leia seemingly disavowed him, her relationship to Vader was never revealed and she had to choose between standing with Luke, and the New Republic. First she thought he was naive, then it was too late to stop anything. Han tells her she turned her back on her brother, she tells Han Luke turned his back on the rebellion.

Finn and rey over hear and Finn points out that the New Republic is built on lies. Rey points out that the Empire was too. Palpatine was a Sith. Finn argues that the Empire is gone, but the values of its citizens, order, stability and cooperation will never die. The Jedi stand for the elite and priviliege mystics.
Han says everyone lies and the only honest people are scoundrels and farmers. Finn won't be either, he will fight to save his people and must rescue Phasma. He persuades Han to help, Ham supposedly agrees because Finn can help him steal the Falcon back. Han lost the falcon because kylo took it from him after discovering Luke survived the duel and Han helped him Escape. The Galaxy does not know Luke survived and Luke disappeared.

the group rescues phasma and boards the Millennium Falcon but not before kylo finds the location of the Imperial base and goes to hyperspace. Finn bribes Han to warn them, the Falcon is still the fastest ship in the galaxy.
When they arrive they find asteroids.

Kylo has built a death star for the new Republic as a deterrent. Han tells Leia and she confronts Kylo as it arrives over Coruscant who claims the Empire was building another one.

This is a lie, Ren tells her the truth is written by the victors. Leia concludes Ren has fallen to the dark side. Ren doesn't need the dark side the Sith were fools he is already in power he controls he controls the Jedi and he will soon control the new Republic. Ren attempts to arrest Leia. Ben tries to protect her but can't defeat Ren, he is saved by Leia. She reveals that she has been trained as a Jedi as well. Ren reveals that she is the daughter of Vader and guards arrest her and Ben. Rem demands the New Republic hand over all the fleet command codes to his Jedi Knights as they are guided by the will of the force. They will guide the Senate and the New Republic as the jedis of old.

Han Rey and Finn rescue Leia from the New Order Death Star, but Han dies shutting down the shield generator on the weapon. Poe leads his squadron in an attack run on its power regulators and blows it up.
The Senate dissolves into chaos as the Knights of Ren seize control any way. Leia vows that Ren will be stopped and reveals she knows where Luke is. Finn Poe and Phasma pledge to fight the knights of Ren until she returns. They arrive at Luke's island and he reveals himself.

The Last Jedi.
Finn and Phasma lead a squadron of warships in a blockade to protect Naboo.The Gungan armies stand ready to fight on the ground. Ren' s forces though much smaller, are winning with the force and the resistance is forced to retreat as the Knights begin to bomb Naboo, dropping sea torpedoes onto the Gungan cities. The current queen surrenders.

Ben and Rey are training with lightsaber. Ben is amazed at how quickly Ray has learned she is very strong in the force. Rey thinks she is nobody, just an orphan left by Smugglers.

Leia and Luke are meditating. Artoo-detoo plays play a message from poe that Naboo Has Fallen, Phasma and Hondo aren't coordinating their forced because they don't trust each other and whatever world's haven't joined Ren are now pulling their own fleets back to defend themselves the Galaxy is falling apart. Leia is sick of it and asks Luke what he's waiting for if as a Jedi he must serve the force why won't he help? Luke explains that he is searching for forgiveness Leia at first thinks it is because he failed to train the Jedi but finds out that he is searching for forgiveness for her.

phasma and Finn attempt negotiations at a secret hideout in the Maw near Han's homeworld of Corellia, with other military leaders. help is coming to oppose the Jedi and peace can still be restored if the old war can be put aside then the world's loyal to the resistance will join the new Republic. the worlds of the new Republic that have not Fallen to Ren still don't trust the former Empire .Negotiations are failing when Ren arrives and attacks. Those gathered can't use hyperspace to escape. The Jedi piloted with the force. Ackbar observed that this is no longer a secret refuge. It is a...
....trap.

Luke DID fall to the dark side on the death star, his father brought him back by killing the Emperor and snapping him out of it. When Ren betrayed him and Leia stood by, he nearly fell again so he went into hiding.
Rey and Ben discover a hidden chamber under the island. As this is the island of the first Jedi, Ben believes this to be the chamber of trials where the first Jedi Knights would go to face their trials and the will of the force. Those who fell to the dark side would never return. Ben wants to take his trials, Rey stops him, Luke should make sure he is ready. Ben is not sure Luke is still a Jedi.

Imperial resistance and former rebel alliance fight the Knights of Ren. Poe can't fight because snub fighters arent powerful enough to survive the gravities of competing black holes, somehow the Knights can ride the currents with the force and are decimating the fleets.

Poe remembers that Han Solo made the Kessel Run in less than 5 parsecs, the legend is that he did it by somehow cutting through the Maw. The falcon would have had a record of how but it is with Leia. Lando, however is with Ackbar. He won the route in a game of Sabacc, Poe volunteers to fly for help.

Leia admits she failed him, Luke disagrees. She did what she did for the greater good, but Luke couldn't let go of his attachment. After his wife died he devoted himself to the Jedi because he feared being alone, and forgotten, he was hardly even a father to Ben and left him to Ren. Leia admitted she couldn't look Han in the eye, after betraying Luke and she knew what Ren was becoming but couldn't stand up to him because he was her son. neither could let go of their attachments and listen to the force and both fell as Jedi.

Plasma and Ren' s forces are nearly clear of the Maw and join the other survivors. There aren't enough left to be seperate groups, and the Knights will reach them before they can reach hyperspace, but as the survivors prepare to make a last stand Poe arrives with reinforcements from Corellia. Solo is a hero of theirs, they hate the Knights of Ren for killing him. They cover the survivors who retreat to Corellia. The knights are slowed as they emerge and take losses, Kylo Kyle is furious and vows to destroy his father's Homeworld for this, he summons his full fleet.

Rey tries to enter the chamber in the middle of the knight. Ben catches her. Rey explains that she stopped him because she senses his ambition to achieve more, to answer the call of the hero. The Force compelled her to tell him to wait, to speak to master Luke

But for herself, she can feel war raging in the stars around them, she can see a future where they never end. Shee doesn't matter, none of them do stars grow ancient and Then are reborn but life gives the universe meaning, against the will of the force her own fear and her own wants are meaningless. She has only begun her training, she knows she isn't a Skywalker, gifted with the force and Chosen, but she hears the call and will answer.
Ben agreed but she will not face her trials alone. He will not prove himself a Jedi master, he will go to learn the will of the force.
They go into the chamber and are confronted by their fears and find in the middle, Leia and Luke meditating.

Luke explains the chamber is a focus of the force, itself neither light not dark, Jedi nor Sith. The first welders of the Force would go to learn the way of the force in a place where their own will was amplified by their desires and fears. The cave that Rey and Ben found was an exit for those who embraced their passions and became Sith.

Luke and Leia stood, they asked regardless of how they entered, which door would they take to leave. Rey and Ben share an understanding. They drawing upon the force they push down the walls, the temple falls around them.
They answer neither and both. There are no Jedi, there no Sith, there is the Force.
Cheque roars from the Falcon, Luke realizes there is also life, and they need to be part of it.

Space above Costello is a battle, on the surface, Phasma and Finn inform the surviving Senate members that the Knights of Ren have broken through and are landing troops to take down the shield lead by Ren himself.

Lando says Corellia will never give up.

Hondo can't believe that worlds which fought together to overthrow the empire and form the New Republic just a few years ago would kill each other. The knights of Ren are the children of these world's, some even Corellia.

Ackbar points out if the shield falls Ren' s forces will strike, as long as he leads them, they fear him more than anything. It is easiest to become what you fear when you are afraid for yourself.

Luke and Leia announce themselves and decide to replace fear with hope. Finn and Phasma prepare to evacuate the leaders as a new agreement is signed. Ben and Rey protect them. Acrobat and Poe prepare a new offensive. Luke and Leia confront Ren and his knights.

Leia reveals she, Like Luke is a child of Vader, but that both fought to end his oppression. Vader found redemption, so can Ren. Ren doesnt need redemption when he has power to make order. Luke tells him that is what Vader thought. To lead, you must serve. Rey and Ben help civilians escape as Poe and Finn fight.

Leia and Luke fight. Ren is defeated but will not surrender. As the shield over the city falls he tells his forces in orbit to kill everyone. Luke freezes all of blasters from orbit, more come. Leia grabs his hand and both ascend into the force, freezing the blasters. Rem charges them swinging uselessly at nothing in a rage as all watch.

Huh orders a cease fire and to stop this madness. He informs Ren that they cannot hold a planet that will not be held and more ships are incoming.

Ren still rages. Chewie knocks him out. Ren s guards threaten Chewie. Ben and Rey light up their sabers. Ben tells them to take Ren and go, before no one can walk away.
Hux orders a retreat but vows that they will return, they will become more powerful than can be imagined. Ben and Rey will be waiting, and they won't be alone.

Ren's forces retreat. The war isn't over, in fact Ren controls most of galaxy has dozens of knights, and hundreds in training, but now people have a choice and thanks to Luke and Leia, once again, they have hope.

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Re: Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

Post by LadyTevar » 2018-03-08 10:20pm

I like your idea there. Now, where do you go from here?
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Re: Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

Post by Themightytom » 2018-03-09 08:01am

Well the original topic only went to the Last Jedi, so I kind of assumed that the third rewrite should take elements from episode 9.

If they pull elements from ROTJ though, and keep the theme of family redemption, culminating battle and everyone matters, (I mean the ewoks got to take out walkers)
Ben and Rey should be doing less fighting and more bringing peace.
Finn Phasma, and Poe should be even MORE fighting to show that former enemies find common ground. Ren and Hux have a rift between them but Ren needs Hux as a competent commander while Hux knows his movement fails without Ren as a figurehead. Really uncomfortable bedfellows.

Rey should find out more about who her parents were, that's too integral to any narrative for an orphan.
Sidebar:
I still don't buy the "she's a nobody" narrative because Abrahms was dropping Easter eggs everywhere. She turned down Han's job offer in Canon because she felt she had to get back to her pile of nothing on Jakku. She had visions of Kylo Ren defending her from others, and she heard Obi Wan' s voice.

Without seeing the ninth episode I Don't really know definitively where they wanted to go with that but Star Wars lied about Luke's father in episode 4. To some extent they continued the lie in episode iv having Leia kiss Luke and then, oops they are twins? Then episode six she reveals Organa was her adoptive family.

I think she is someone and another twist is on the way, but Luke's daughter is unlikely since he didn't mention it when they were together. Han and Leia seemed very welcoming though and the weird Kylo shirtless scene is hopefully not trying to evoke another twins revelation because... how do you lose a daughter and then not recognize her when she pops up.
There's still a backdoor revelation possibility from force ghost Luke, or a recorded message maybe in Artoo. My preference would be that she DOES end up Luke's daughter. I agree with above that he should have had a family. Maybe episode 9 he leaves a clue about a woman she should seek out for training. A padawan or surviving knight that left his temple because they got involved and she left pregnant. Rey finds out who her mother was and that her father was Luke and then maybe Luke pops up at end apologizes because somehow he had no idea or something. Luke should get a family Rey should get a family everyone should get a family. Disney bought the franchise so whatever. If she is cousins with Ren it is a better explanation for their bond then snoke being some kind of genius manipulator who somehow missed the obvious inevitable betrayal. for me it's easier to believe the guy was totally lying about everything to manipulate her and ren might know more than he was letting on for the same reason. That also lets the trilogy get back to its roots in family Redemption.

An implication of my TLJ rewrite is that if Luke DID fall briefly, but Anakin redeemed, and Leia was still around, Anakin DID bring Balance, and then by killing the Emperor and himself, maintained balance again. Luke struggled with the darkness while Leia struggled with light. Luke upset the balance by training an apprentice who fell, which brought war once again.

Rey and Ben would struggle with understanding what the force is. In the Canon, Snoke says the dark calls the light to defeat it. That suggests forever a conflict. Peace is a lie. A major theme of the final movie should be how to return to peace after war. Where do refugees go, how do soldiers stand down. Not answering those questions just continued the fight between the New Republic and the Imperial Remanent until no one could tell who the enemy was anymore until a new one was in their midst. Rey' s search for identity would reflect that, against the continuing backdrop of a conflict grinding to an end.
---------------

So they start with Tattooine. Ben wants to lay Luke's lightsaber to rest. He finds the grave of Shimi, and beside it a grave for "Ben". He tells Rey this is where it started. A boy who was a slave caught up by a Jedi prophecy and taken from his mother. A Jedi Master who failed his apprentice and turned his son into a weapon. A family caught in the middle and destroyed. He finds a marker for "Anakin" that his father must have left at some point.

Rey expresses doubt about her own future, having seen even Like admit the dark side seduced him and seeing her own childhood on a desert world as so similar.

Ben observes that maybe darkness calls us all and we just need to know who brings us light. Rey decided to return to Jakku. They leave a marker for "Luke"

Poe is fighting a space battle to protect a refugee convoy. He arrived expecting to fight the Knights of Ren but found the ships attacking the refugees were just local militia who didn't want new comers. He explains that as part of the treaty every government agreed to share the work, but the attackers Don t care, and the government explains it only has to protect its citizens and if the refugees haven't arrived yet, they don't count.

Rey and Ben head to Jakku to talk to Unkaar Platt but discover on the way that he is dead. He left a message for Rey to go to his family on Crul if she should ever turn up looking for answers.
Crul is a water world. Rey wonders why Unkaar would have left it. They find his mother who explains he fell in with a bad crowd but was rescued by a Jedi and owed a life debt. Unkaar left for a place no one would look for him.
A hologram from Unkaar explained that Kylo Ren had saved him and told him some day he would pay his debt. That day came when Rey arrived on Jakku, as a child with Han Solo. He didn't tell Unkaar her name so he named her Ray, for the rays of sun.
Ben and Rey realize that with Han gone, Chewie may be the only one who knows. Chewie went home to Kashyyk.

Kylo Ren' s shuttle arrives at Hux'sHux' s flagship. He deposits the sobbing form of admiral Hondo on the deck and demands to know the status of the New death star. Hux points out that building one would bankrupt them of resources they need to maintain their fleet. Ren volunteers to conquer the banking clans next. He demands to know why his knights are spread over the galaxy.
Hux reveals that he has sent Kylo's knights to different worlds to stir up unrest. With the industrial might of the world's turned against him, he knows that by creating unrest, people will forget who the enemy is, resources will be stretched and the chaos will bring the galaxy to him. Ren corrects him, to them, he asks Hux if he is under the impression that without his knights, Ren is vulnerable. As he asks, and entire Legion of storm troopers on the flight deck float into the air and towards the forcefield.

Hux assures him that no, he is well aware that Ren leads the New order, and his knights enforce it, but Hux points out he manages strategy, and he is using Ren's well trained students widely, instead of as infantry. He points out that Palpatine persuaded the Jedi to lead in battle in order to make them targets.Ren's knights are too valuable.

Ren asks if Hux questions his own actions, Ren does not. After the battle of Corellia Kylo needs to rebuild his reputation. Kylo does not like that but asks where the Last of the Jedi have gone. His tells him that his former apprentice Ben and the girl who was apparently a padawan have been seen in the outer rim and have stayed out of the fighting. He urges Ren not to chase after them. Ren assures him he will not make the same mistakes as his grandfather.
There is however, one person who embarrassed him, that it will be easy to destroy.

Poe tours the Imperial capitol of Bastian. Phasma orders his refugee convoy to be processed and supplied immediately. Having been refugees themselves the Imperial remnant is sympathetic and eager to prove themselves. Ackbar and Lando join a war council. Ren has lead several attacks, all victorious and has been killing generals publicly to humiliate his enemies, but his attacks aren't widespread enough for systems unaffected to care. He remains powerful and mobile while the alliance fleet is spread thin. Lando suggests encouraging local militias, Phasma disagrees, that could lead to local squabbles. Poe points out that local militias just tried to murder refugees, nearly attacked his fighters and their government hid behind red tape. Lando suggests terraforming more worlds and boosting commerce by protecting shipping instead of planets. If there is room for everyone, no one has to fight over it and the militias can be trusted with local security. Ackbar points out it was easier to fight the enemy when they were a moon sized target.

Ben and Rey arrive at Kashyyk under attack. New Order dreadnaughts blast away orbital defenses. Ben realizes Kylo is trying to get revenge on Cheese for knocking him out. They find Ren's fighter squadron heading to the surface and attack. Rey is a natural pilot, Ben was trained by Ren himself. Ren gets the better of Ben but finds Rey unpredictable, she dumps her trash canister in his face and then rams his fighter, all three go down and Ren'sRen' s squadron is destroyed.
On the ground he is attacked by wookiee guards and his lightsaber is broken. He kills several until Ben arrives. More powerful in the force, Ren takes Ben's lightsaber but is again decked by Chewie. Remaining conscious this time, he retaliates lifting Chewie up and slamming him into the ground. He swears to publicly dismember the Wookiee but Rey intervenes.
Ren knows she is searching for answers. As they dual he tells her he knows where her mother is. He reveals that he is her father. As she hesitates he force pushes her too and mocks her for believing him. He is only a few years older than her and Ben. He does offer to train her. He is the Last fully trained Jedi in the galaxy, and she has yet to complete her trials. He wields both lightsabers to demonstrate skill. Rey sees Ben regain consciousness.
Rey tells him her life has been her trials and she has already learned from the best. She pulls a blaster and shoots Ren. Ren can't block because Ben holds his sabers locked. Ren looks at his wound and Rey tells him she learned that from his father.

Ren sinks to the ground and deactivated his sabers. He is tired of fighting. He wanted order and stability and everything has become chaos. He wanted to resurrect the Jedi Order. Ben pointed out he stopped listening to the force and only sought to wield it.
Ren doesn't know how to come back from where he is. Rey doesn't know where she comes from, Ben finally admits that as a Skywalker he is expected to lead but he doesn't know where he is going.
Anakin' s force ghost appears and tells them they should focus more on where they are and what they are doing. Fear leads to hatred, hatred leads to suffering, and without family, it can get very cold.
Ren finally reveals that Ben and Rey are siblings. Ben's mother left the Jedi temple before Luke was revealed as Vader's son because she was pregnant with their second child and wanted to take time away. She didn't want her daughter to be forced to be a Jedi and didn't tell Luke.
She stumbled across the construction of the New death star and was imprisoned in secret. She delivered and nearly escaped but Kylo killed her for the greater good. He couldn't kill the child so he gave it to Unkaar. Rey asked what her real name was. Kylo grimace and says it was "Hope".

Ben asks if Rem expects absolution. Ren doesn't. He doesn't want forgiveness he just wants to stop fighting. Ben and Rey aren't sure they should judge him. The Jedi are gone, the fighting has to end.
Ren could track down his knights and kill them all, and he could probably kill Hux before the end of the day.
Rey tells him to stop killing and just tell the galaxy he was wrong. Ren agrees but before he can do anything else Chewie punched him out again. Rey scolds Chewie, Ben suggests they just leave him for the New order troops to collect. If he calls for an end to fighting he has to do it from his own ship.

Ren appears in holograms across the galaxy
He tells them he wanted to bring order to the galaxy, he wanted everyone to unite behind the cause of the Jedi and the New Republic. He lost his way. He built a death Star, he raised his army and he turned the government against it's hero's, and he told the people that they let him do it. They turned their backs on each other, they fought their neighbors when there was plenty for all and they looked for evil wherever there was disagreement. Ren explained he was no Sith, and he never used mind control. He used laws, he used patriots and he used those willing to turn a blind eye to what he was really doing. The galaxy was changing, people were starting to wake up. He didn't expect anyone to thank him. He expected some even to hunt him. He wished them good luck.
Hux shook his head and asked what he wanted them to do now. Ren didn't care but Hux pointed out his men were loyal and Ren couldn't just turn his back on them. Ren grudgingly agreed. He ordered everyone back, they could follow him or go free, they would find some world out of the way and just stay there. Jakku, he said, no one wants it anyway, maybe we can build something there.

Rey and Ben decided to continue travelling, to follow the way of the force. As Ackbar, Lando Phasma Finn and Poe stand before the assembled Senate discussing how to help rebuild planets and resettle refugees, they agreed they should check back on the Senate from time to time, but not too often.
As they walk away, R2 D2 beeps to himself and rolls after them.

"Since when is "the west" a nation?"-Styphon
"ACORN= Cobra obviously." AMT
This topic is... oh Village Idiot. Carry on then.--Havok

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Re: Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

Post by Crazedwraith » 2018-03-09 08:33am

Thinking about it. I'm not sure what I want to do is a Sequel Trilogy, but an anthology film set in an Option B future. Ie) A lot more like the EU a lot less like the actual Sequel Trilogy. Han and Leia are together, Lando in big business, Luke's set up a new Jedi Academy.

The New Republic is the largest nation in the galaxy, but there is still a Imperial Remnant, and various other smaller powers. Luke only takes students at young adult level and volunteers, so with a resurgence of force senstives other rival forces cults are growing.

The first movie would follow a young Jedi in a 'Knight Errant' situation, they wander the galaxy, righting wrongs, fighting for Justice etc etc. Main character suffers crisis of faith when sees the realities of the galaxy but over comes to be come true Jedi Knight etc etc.
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Re: Rewriting the Sequel Trilogy: a challenge.

Post by Rogue 9 » 2018-03-10 12:34pm

I would get rid of Starkiller Base. Entirely. Screw that noise, don't need it. Instead, the First Order fleet goes for a surprise decapitation strike at Coruscant. (Using Coruscant rather than Hosnian Prime is deliberate; it gives the existing audience at least some buy-in with what happens to it.) The Republic fleet puts up a determined fight (perhaps using a captured Executor Dreadnought, though that might be thematically confusing for the screen), but doesn't have a counter to the Supremacy. If you want to have a plucky rebellion against the Empire redux, this is where the Resistance comes into play, formed from escaping Republic fleet elements. Proceed with Rebels v. Empire plotline.

This way we get an actual goddamned space battle, the Republic having its head up its ass about the First Order is more understandable (since you haven't established that General Organa and Admiral Ackbar have been shouting at them to get their act together and telling them that the First Order is re-arming for years).

If we must have a First Order tracking the Resistance/Republic fleet remnant plot, don't asspull hyperspace tracking tech that as explained wouldn't work with what we've already established hyperspace travel to actually do (specifically Rebels firmly establishing that course changes can be made while still in hyperspace). Instead, homing devices (again drawing from Rebels; plant a homing beacon on a ship via projectile) or a spy are your problem.

That's basically it. This is a technological setting with long-established capabilities and limitations on its tech. Act like it.
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