A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

UF: Stories written by users, both fanfics and original.

Moderator: LadyTevar

User avatar
The Romulan Republic
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 12024
Joined: 2008-10-15 01:37am

A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby The Romulan Republic » 2017-02-21 03:26pm

So here it is, my first attempt at a Star Trek vs. Star Wars story to be posted on this forum. Obviously I am following in the footsteps of a lot of other writers, but hopefully I'll be able to bring something new to the basic premise.

Note: I am not terribly familiar with the current state of the Star Wars EU. I apologize for any continuity errors.

The obvious disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, Star Trek, or anything originating therein. This story is not for profit. No infringement is intended.

Also, credit for the story concept/premise that this story is based on goes to FaxModem1. I am adapting it with his kind permission.

A New Path

Bridge, SSD Executor, Death Squadron, Outer Rim.

Lt. Jared Antilles surreptitiously stretched his stiff neck and blinked tiredly at the view screen in front of him. It had been eight hours since his shift began, and he was almost due to be relieved, but it wouldn't do to let the captain noticing his unease. At least Lord Vader wasn't on the bridge- he tried to suppress that thought. It seemed impossible, like something out of the old stories of the Jedi, but it almost seemed at times like the black armoured figure that towered over the bridge, its breath wheezing like the wind howling up from one of the bottomless ventilation shafts in the heart of the ship, could sense what you were thinking.

He turned back to the view screen, noticing that the alert light had begun blinking. He checked it, frowning in puzzlement. Probe I-39-7A14, location, Outer Rim, Anoat Sector, had lost contact with the fleet. He checked the coordinates. The probe was at least 30 light years short of its intended destination.

Jared took a deep breath.

Its not my fault, he told himself. I'm just reporting it, just like I'm supposed to. It was cold comfort, considering Lord Vader's legendary reputation for dealing with those who disappointed him.

"Is their a problem, Lt.?"

Jared snapped quickly to attention, looking up from the crew pit to where Captain Piet stood on the walkway overhead, looking down at him with a faintly sneering expression.

"No sir. That is... we've lost contact with one of the probe-"

He was interrupted as the doors of the bridge whooshed open, and the sound of heavy footfalls and heavy, rasping breathing filled the bridge. Captain Piet turned sharply, standing at attention.

"Lord Vader."

"What seems to be the problem, Captain?" The deep, cold voice echoed throughout the bridge, sending chills up Jared's spine. The features of the Dark Lord's black metal helmet looked directly at him, seeming to stare through him.

"We've lost contact with one of our probe droids", Captain Piet replied, shifting his gaze from Vader to Jared, in a gesture for the Lt. to elaborate. He spoke quickly, the explanation rushing out as though his life depended on it- which, he knew, it very well might.

"We lost contact with our probe in the Anoat Sector, sir. Preliminary analysis indicates that the transmission was interrupted at the source."

"Destroyed?"

He hesitated, but only for a moment.

"Uncertain, sir. We'll have to review the sensor logs-" His mouth snapped shut as Lord Vader cut him off.

"No, Captain. This is something different. Unexpected. I sense something..." Vader starred off into space for a moment, then turned sharply to the Captain.

"Inform Admiral Ozzel that the fleet is to move to the probe's last known coordinates. Maximum speed."

The Captain blinked, then quickly nodded.

"Yes, Lord Vader."

But Lord Vader had already turned and swept from the bridge.

Jared Antilles stood beside his console, the tension slowly leaving him as Vader left the bridge. He barely noticed when his replacement arrived a moment later to relieve him. Finally snapping back to attention, he nodded to the officer (a younger Lt. he did not recognize), then exited the bridge, wanting nothing more than to go to his quarters, seal the door, and try to forget about the last half hour.

***

Imperial Throne Room, Imperial Palace, Coruscant.

The chamber was dark and silent, the shadows filled with an intangible menace.

A pair of Red-armoured Imperial Guards flanked the single entrance, Force Pikes held ready at their sides, faces concealed beneath smooth red masks.

In a chair, on a dais, overlooking the room, sat a small, wizened figure in a simple black robe, head bowed and hands clasped in silent meditation.

The darkness whispered to him, carrying secrets and portents from across the known universe. He followed one whisper, louder than the others, across the depths of space, to a distant, lifeless system on the edge of the Outer Rim.

Something flashed in the darkness, like a bolt of lighting piercing through the Force. He sat upright, hands clutching the arm rests of his throne, his teeth barred in a snarl. Then he turned to the Guards.

"Leave me."

They turned wordlessly and filed out of the chamber. A push of a button on the right arm of this chair sealed the door behind them. Only the Emperor's personal code could open it again. Another button activated the secure holo-emitter positioned in front of him.

"SSD Executor- I have a priority signal for Lord Vader."

***

Personal Quarters of Lord Vader, SSD Executor.

Lord Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, the second most powerful man in the galaxy, strode through the doors of his private chambers and knelt, activating the holo-projector with a slight direction of will through the Force. The flickering blue visage of his Master filled the space before him, looming above him. Once more, he felt deep resentment at having to bow before this man, combined with grudging respect for his power, and a flicker of buried fear that only fuelled his resentment. The Emperor seemed to smile slightly, and he knew that his Master had sensed his hidden thoughts and feelings as easily as ever.

"What is thy bidding, my Master?"

"I have felt a great disturbance in the Force."

"As have I."

"Something is happening in the Anoat Sector. You are to investigate this disturbance. All other priorities are suspended."

For a moment, he almost wondered if he had misheard his Master's words. He had sensed it moving through the Force, like ripples that grew into great waves as they spread out through the galaxy, and he had known that it was the cause of this sudden message from his Master, but he had not expected this.

"The Rebels", he ventured.

"Are of no immediate concern."

He swallowed his anger and frustration as the work of months was swept aside. The war would be left to lesser men: the war, the Rebels... his son...

He buried that thought deeply, and inclined his head in a low bow.

"As you wish, my Master."

***

Bridge, SSD Executor, Death Squadron, En Route To The Anoat Sector.

Admiral Ozzel watched the blue vortex of hyperspace swirling outside the bridge windows, secure in the centre of his power over the crew of the Executor. To his left, Captain Piet stood observing the crew pit. A competent, duitiful officer, but rather stiff and unimaginative, he thought. The bridge crew quietly monitored their stations as the fleet moved toward its destination. Ozzel wondered what could possibly have caused the Emperor himself to order them to break off their pursuit of the Rebels and move the most powerful fleet in the Empire to the Anoat sector to investigate a single missing probe droid, and how Vader had seemed to divine the Emperor's intent before the message had even arrived. He dismissed the thoughts. It wasn't wise to wonder too much about the affairs of the Emperor and his inner circle.

He turned, swallowing his unease as the doors to the bridge slid open and Lord Vader himself strode onto the walkway, stopping before the Admiral.

"How long until we reach the coordinates of the probe, Admiral?"

"Approximately two minutes", he replied.

"Bring the fleet to a Level Two Alert."

"Yes sir", he replied, concealing his surprise as well as he could. Level Two Alert meant to expect hostile forces in the area, and required him to raise shields and put the crews at battle stations. It was only one step short of a full battle alert. He turned to Captain Piet.

"Captain, place the fleet on Level Two Alert immediately."

Piet blinked, then nodded.

"Yes Sir." He strode over to the communications station on the other side of the bridge and relayed the order. A warning sound buzzed over the com., notifying the crew to move to battle stations. Piet strode back to stand in front of the Admiral and Lord Vader.

"We're about to exit hyperspace, My Lord", he said crisply, and a moment later, the tunnel of hyperspace gave way to streaks of white light and then the black of normal space. The five escorting Star Destroyers appeared in a V formation around them moments later.

"Report", Piet snapped to the officer at tactical sensors.

"We've arrived in the Parin system, Sir. Main sequence star, three hundred million kilometres distance. Standard density of gasses and debris. No planets or other natural bodies of significant size. No other vessels within scanner range, but I'm detecting some anomalous energy readings approximate 800 kilometres off the port bow."

"What sort of-" Captain Piet began, but Lord Vader interrupted him.

"All ships, full stop!"

"Full stop!", Piet shouted, but a moment later, the space in front of them erupted in blue and gold fire, a swirling tunnel of light in space. Alarms blarred and the Executor shuddered slightly as it flew into the mouth of the vortex, along with the five escorting destroyers of Death Squadron.
"Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid. As a nation, we began by declaring that "all men are created equal." We now practically read it "all men are created equal, except negroes" When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read "all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics." When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty -- to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy." - Lincoln.

User avatar
FaxModem1
Sith Acolyte
Posts: 5965
Joined: 2002-10-30 06:40pm
Location: In a dark reflection of a better world

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby FaxModem1 » 2017-02-21 05:53pm

I'm curious to see where you take this.
Image

User avatar
LadyTevar
White Mage
White Mage
Posts: 18846
Joined: 2003-02-12 10:59pm
Location: Tahalshia Manor

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby LadyTevar » 2017-02-21 08:55pm

I'm extremely curious where this goes. That sounds like a Wormhole
Image

Librium Arcana, Where Gamers Play!
Nitram, slightly high on cough syrup: Do you know you're beautiful?
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet

User avatar
The Romulan Republic
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 12024
Joined: 2008-10-15 01:37am

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby The Romulan Republic » 2017-02-22 02:59am

The description was influenced by my recollections of the Bajoran wormhole on Deep Space 9.
"Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid. As a nation, we began by declaring that "all men are created equal." We now practically read it "all men are created equal, except negroes" When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read "all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics." When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty -- to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy." - Lincoln.

User avatar
The Romulan Republic
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 12024
Joined: 2008-10-15 01:37am

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby The Romulan Republic » 2017-03-09 08:35am

Bridge, SSD Executor, Death Squadron, Unidentified Spatial Disruption.

Quiet tension pervaded the bridge of the Executor as it hurtled along a tunnel of blue and gold energy.

Ensign Biel kept her eyes on the screen in front of her, uncomfortably aware that the captain was standing directly overhead, while her mind kept running in increasingly panicked circles. This wasn't possible. Most officers on the bridge of an Imperial warship were glorified technicians or soldiers who had only a minimal understanding of the scientific theory underpinning the technology that they were using, but she had studied subspace theory at one of the best institutions in the Core, and it gave her both a better understanding of the physics underlying this impossible situation, and, she felt, a deeper appreciation for how utterly unprecedented it was. The energy readings for... whatever they were caught in were off the scales, and she was getting contradictory velocities on the standard and subspace scanners...

---

Captain Firmus Piet stood in the centre of the bridge, watching the menacing tunnel of light, uncomfortably aware of the black-armoured presence of Lord Vader standing just a few meters behind him, his breath the only sound echoing audibly through the bridge. Would Vader hold him responsible for the order that had come seconds too late to prevent... whatever the Hells had happened? He could almost imagined phantom fingers tightening around his throat, a red blade piercing his flesh, and swallowed uncomfortably.

"Report!", he snapped again, striding over to the part of the crew pit where the long-range scanners were located.

"We appear to be suspended within a vortex of unidentified energy", the Lt. in command of the section replied. "Power output appears to be at least an order of magnitude greater than the output of our own main reactors, Sir." Firmus blinked. That much energy could rip them apart in an instant. "We appear to be still moving, but I'm getting conflicting readings. Our internal sensors indicate that we have come to a full stop, as do our short-range external sensors, but our long-range subspace scanners indicate that we are moving at approximately... 119.123 billion c. And accelerating."

Firmus starred, a cold feeling creeping through his gut. He wasn't an engineer, but he knew enough to know that they were moving far faster than should have been possible with any hyperdrive. Then he shook his head slightly.

"Ridiculous", he snapped. "Check the scanners again. I'm certain their must be some malfunction."

"No, Captain", breathed the deep, mechanical voice of Lord Vader behind him. He stiffened, his heart rate increasing. "We are indeed in motion. The vortex is transporting us with it, carrying us somewhere far away." He sounded almost... wistful, if such a thing were possible. "I will be in my private chambers. Inform me immediately of any developments."

"Yes, My Lord", he quickly replied, his gaze still on that swirling vortex. It was almost... beautiful, in a strange, alien way. He shook his head slightly. Whatever it was, it was dangerous.

"Of course, My Lord", echoed Admiral Ozzel, shooting an irritated look at Firmus as Lord Vader swept off the silent bridge.

***

Lord Vader's Private Quarters, SSD Executor, Death Squadron, Unidentified Subspace Vortex.

He floated in the stillness of the hyperbaric chamber, the only place where he could breath for long without the clumsy suite that sustained and confined him. He floated in the currents of the Force, his mind reaching out through the enveloping cloud of the Dark Side, his rage at being denied his chance to end the Rebellion and find his son combining with his frustration at the fleet's current, bizarre predicament to call upon its power.

He could feel the vortex around them, blazing like the Suns, a tunnel boring through space and time. He could feel the presences of the Executor and its escorts, suspended in that maelstrom, perfectly balanced so that only the slightest deviation in course would steer them to destruction. He could sense them being bourn along the currents of the Force toward an unknown destination, feel the controlled anxiety of the crews as they went about their duties. Their fear whispered to him in the darkness, familiar and reassuring.

But no matter how far he stretched out his senses, he could not feel the presence of his Master, that blackest of black holes in the Force. That didn't necessarily mean anything- sensing a single presence, even one as powerful as his Master's, over interstellar distances was an uncertain effort. But trapped in this strange tunnel of light, and combined with the reports of the scanner crews, it left him feeling strangely... unsettled.

Instead, he tried reaching out to sense the presence of his son, the Rebel star fighter pilot named Luke Skywalker. Again, unsurprisingly, he sensed nothing. The boy was still weak, untrained in his potential. If Obi-wan had not kept him from me-

He snarled in sudden fury, and the walls of the chamber shuddered against an invisible blow. He took a deep breath, focussing his anger, using it. The Sith did not suppress their fear, their hate, denying their baser impulses, but they did not let those feelings control them. Rage was his weapon, not his master.

The black mask that was his prison descended over his head once more, and the chamber split open as Lord Vader rose and stalked out of his personal quarters. It was time to return to the bridge. He could sense that they were nearing the end of their journey.

***

Bridge, SSD Executor, Death Squadron, Unidentified Subspace Vortex.

Firmus turned as the doors to the bridge slid open, and the towering figure of Lord Vader strode back onto the bridge. Instantly he was at full alert, and not simply because of Vader's presence, though that was certainly reason enough. As impossible as it seemed, in his time aboard the Executor, he had observed a sort of... prescience to Lord Vader's actions. He had scoffed at the rumours of the Dark Lord's supernatural power, but lately he had begun to reevaluate those conclusions, however unsettling the thought might be. The tunnel of light outside the bridge windows had not changed, but if the Dark Lord felt that his presence on the bridge was warranted, then something was about to happen.

"Lord Vader."

"Where is Admiral Ozzel?" Firmus thought, uneasily, that he detected a hint of irritation in Vader's tone.

"In his quarters, Lord Vader. I was told to inform him of any developments."

"Summon him immediately. I sense that our journey will soon be over."

"Of course, My Lord", he replied, his suspicions confirmed, and passed the order on to the Ensign manning the ship's intercom. Two or three minutes' uncomfortable silence passed, and then the bridge doors slid open and Admiral Ozzel walked onto the bridge, appearing just slightly disheveled, as though he had been just awoken from sleep, or from enjoying the... services of one of his subordinates, Firmus thought wryly.

"Lord Vader." The Admiral stood at attention.

"We will be exiting the vortex shortly."

Ozzel glanced at Firmus, who returned the gaze levelly. He had no more idea than Ozzel how Vader knew the things he knew, but he was beginning to understand that the Dark Lord's premonitions were usually correct.

His gaze snapped forward as the light in front of them suddenly vanished, and the edges of the tunnel parted, swirling to either side and revealing a star-strewn field of open space. Firmus felt himself relax a little in relief as the Executor returned to normal space, no longer surrounded by a vortex of energy that could rip the vessel apart.

"Scanners, report!", Admiral Ozzel snapped.

"We appear to be in a single-star system, approximately 200 million kilometres from the Sun off the Port bow. The rest of the fleet has arrived with us. All vessels accounted for." A pause. "Sir, their is a large space station approximately fifteen million kilometres ahead, and slightly to starboard. It is comparable in size to an Imperial Star Destroyer, but I'm detecting extremely high energy readings"-Firmus instantly tensed-"approximately .73% of those of an Executor class SSD's maximum output."

"Weapons", Admiral Ozzel asked.

Another moment's tense silence. Then...

"Unknown, sir. Energy readings are unfamiliar, as is the station's design."

Firmus and the Admiral traded glances. Then the Admiral turned to Lord Vader. Firmus followed suite.

"What are your orders, My Lord?"

Vader was silent for a long moment. Then his head suddenly turned, as if he had heard a sound coming from the back of the bridge, a moment before the Lt. at long-range scanners spoke up, a trace of alarm colouring her words.

"Sir, the Vortex has just closed behind us!"

Firmus frowned.

"Is it still their?" He remembered the moments before it had opened. "Can you detect any anomalous energy readings?"

A pause.

"Negative, Sir, besides those being put out by the station. Energy readings and particle density are within normal parameters for interplanetary space." Another pause. "I am detecting some unusual fluctuations on subspace sensors, sir. And we're not picking up the Imperial Holonet."

A moment of silence.

"The Vortex must have damaged the external communications systems-" Admiral Ozzel began.

"Possible", the Lt. acknowledged, but internal sensors report no indications of structural damage."

"Then check your readings again-" Ozzel snapped, but fell silent as Lord Vader cut him off.

"What is our current location, Lt.?"

The Lt. paled at being addressed by Lord Vader directly but replied promptly, her tone professional. Firmus didn't think much of female officers in general, but Lt. Shira was reasonably competent. She wouldn't have been posted to Lord Vader's command ship if she wasn't.

"Given our velocity, we should be either still in the Pardis System, or far outside the galaxy, Lord Vader. However, given the contradictory readings and the possible influence of the Vortex, it is impossible to say for certain without further analysis."

Firmus waited for the Dark Lord's wrath to fall on the Lt., but Vader simply gazed out into space, as if considering his next action. When he spoke, it was in a calm, measured voice.

"Run a full diagnostic on the external scanners and communications systems, and then compare the local star to all galactic star maps in the databases. And continue attempting to contact the Holonet" He turned to Ozzel. "Inform me when the analyses are complete"

"Yes, Lord Vader", Ozzel replied at once.

"And maintain a continual surveilance of the station. Maintain Level Two alert, and inform me if-"

"Sir", the Lt. interrupted again, then flinched, mouth snapping shut as Lord Vader's emotionless gaze fell on her once more. Firmus stiffened, anticipating Vader's retribution.

"Yes, Lt.", the Dark Lord asked, a touch of menace beneath the words.

She swallowed.

"We've detected a power surge from the station, directed towards us. It appears to be constant, but its not strong enough to penetrate the shields. It could be some sort of scan, My Lord."

"Activate jamming frequencies", Firmus snapped, and the officer immediately complied. A moment later, she turned back to the senior officers.

"Sir, the frequency's changed. I think its-"

A beam of multi-coloured light swept swiftly over the bridge, flickering over the stations, the crew pits, the central walkway, the faces of himself and the Admiral, and the black-armoured suite of Lord Vader.

"How are they penetrating our shields", he almost shouted.

"Uncertain, Sir."

"Angle forward deflectors, and increase power to shields and jamming", Ozzel said quickly.

"Yes S-"

Before anyone could say anything more, a strange tingling sensation swept over Firmus. In an instant, he saw columns of light enveloping the bridge officers around him, the bridge fading from view. Before he could begin to comprehend what he was seeing, he was no longer standing on the bridge of the Executor, but in a high-ceilinged hall with polished white walls and large windows looking out over a sprawling city-scape.
"Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid. As a nation, we began by declaring that "all men are created equal." We now practically read it "all men are created equal, except negroes" When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read "all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics." When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty -- to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy." - Lincoln.

User avatar
Eternal_Freedom
Castellan
Posts: 8594
Joined: 2010-03-09 02:16pm
Location: Bound in a nutshell
Contact:

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby Eternal_Freedom » 2017-03-09 09:34am

Fascinating approach so far, and you've done a nice job with the minor characters and Vader.

I do have one query though, the Array's power reading being .73% of an SSD? Is that decimal point a typo or is it meant to be 0.73%?
"I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams" - Hamlet

“I’ve always thought the Yankees had something to do with it.” - Confederate General George Pickett, on being asked why his charge at Ghettysburg failed

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.

User avatar
The Romulan Republic
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 12024
Joined: 2008-10-15 01:37am

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby The Romulan Republic » 2017-03-09 09:37am

It is.

No power output numbers, to the best of my knowledge (and my sincere apologies if I am mistaken on this point) were ever given for the Array. However, it was able to snatch a warship large enough to carry 150 crew across most of the galaxy near-instantaneously, through whatever obstacles (like the anomalies of the Bad Lands) were in the way. It stands to reason that it is considerably more powerful than standard Trek technology, and I have presumed that in this narrative.

Edit: Besides, it is very difficult to right a narrative where all the conflicts faced are severely one-sided. Of course, not all conflicts need be military, or even physical (Vader's greatest in canon being with his own darkness, and the Dark Side of the Force), but Death Squadron will encounter, when it can be done without bending cannon too much, adversaries who can threaten a star destroyer, or even the Executor.

Which adversaries those will be I will leave you to speculate upon for the time being.
"Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid. As a nation, we began by declaring that "all men are created equal." We now practically read it "all men are created equal, except negroes" When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read "all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics." When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty -- to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy." - Lincoln.

User avatar
Eternal_Freedom
Castellan
Posts: 8594
Joined: 2010-03-09 02:16pm
Location: Bound in a nutshell
Contact:

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby Eternal_Freedom » 2017-03-09 09:40am

Oh I get that, I was more curious about whether it was meant to be 73% or 0.73%. Either is impressive, but if it's meant to be the latter you might want to include a zero before the decimal point to avoid confusion.
"I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams" - Hamlet

“I’ve always thought the Yankees had something to do with it.” - Confederate General George Pickett, on being asked why his charge at Ghettysburg failed

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.

User avatar
The Romulan Republic
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 12024
Joined: 2008-10-15 01:37am

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby The Romulan Republic » 2017-03-09 09:42am

Too late to edit it now. :(
"Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid. As a nation, we began by declaring that "all men are created equal." We now practically read it "all men are created equal, except negroes" When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read "all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics." When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty -- to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy." - Lincoln.

User avatar
Eternal_Freedom
Castellan
Posts: 8594
Joined: 2010-03-09 02:16pm
Location: Bound in a nutshell
Contact:

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby Eternal_Freedom » 2017-03-09 09:58am

Ah don't worry, it's just something to keep in mind, not everyone uses the same convention with decimals.
"I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams" - Hamlet

“I’ve always thought the Yankees had something to do with it.” - Confederate General George Pickett, on being asked why his charge at Ghettysburg failed

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.

User avatar
The Romulan Republic
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 12024
Joined: 2008-10-15 01:37am

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby The Romulan Republic » 2017-03-09 10:02am

Okay, I feel really, really stupid now.

I believe it was originally supposed to be 73%. I'm not sure how I got turned around on that, but I can see how it was unclear, since I confused myself about it. ;)

So yeah, I screwed up. This is what I get for doing a rushed proof-reading job when I've been up all night.

You're right that either is impressive by Trek standards, but I wanted to establish the Array as a comparable adversary, which only .73 really doesn't (well, comparable to an ISD, maybe).

Still, its no big deal. The number was somewhat arbitrary, and the mechanism by which the Array operates unknown, so I can live with it as is.
"Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid. As a nation, we began by declaring that "all men are created equal." We now practically read it "all men are created equal, except negroes" When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read "all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics." When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty -- to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy." - Lincoln.

User avatar
LadyTevar
White Mage
White Mage
Posts: 18846
Joined: 2003-02-12 10:59pm
Location: Tahalshia Manor

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby LadyTevar » 2017-03-09 11:05pm

Ok, whomever decided to beam the Imperials over WITHOUT ASKING is about to get Force-choked. Totally against Federation rules.
Image

Librium Arcana, Where Gamers Play!
Nitram, slightly high on cough syrup: Do you know you're beautiful?
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet

User avatar
The Romulan Republic
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 12024
Joined: 2008-10-15 01:37am

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby The Romulan Republic » 2017-03-09 11:12pm

Yes, it would be against Federation rules. :)

And yes, without spoiling anything, Vader will be pissed.
"Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid. As a nation, we began by declaring that "all men are created equal." We now practically read it "all men are created equal, except negroes" When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read "all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics." When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty -- to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy." - Lincoln.

User avatar
LadyTevar
White Mage
White Mage
Posts: 18846
Joined: 2003-02-12 10:59pm
Location: Tahalshia Manor

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby LadyTevar » 2017-03-09 11:20pm

The Romulan Republic wrote:Yes, it would be against Federation rules. :)

And yes, without spoiling anything, Vader will be pissed.
Oh my. Cardassians? Ok, not as upset about Vader going on a rampage. :twisted:
Please remember what we saw happen at the end of Rogue One, as well as the comic book where Rebels shot Vader down over a planet they were using as a base. I believe there were three Battalions of Rebels troops, with armored vehicles, encircling Vader. The next shot is Vader walking calmly away.
Image

Librium Arcana, Where Gamers Play!
Nitram, slightly high on cough syrup: Do you know you're beautiful?
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet

User avatar
FaxModem1
Sith Acolyte
Posts: 5965
Joined: 2002-10-30 06:40pm
Location: In a dark reflection of a better world

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby FaxModem1 » 2017-03-10 01:10am

So, what's the Coruscant equivalent of a banjo?
Image

User avatar
Eternal_Freedom
Castellan
Posts: 8594
Joined: 2010-03-09 02:16pm
Location: Bound in a nutshell
Contact:

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby Eternal_Freedom » 2017-03-10 08:42am

FaxModem1 wrote:So, what's the Coruscant equivalent of a banjo?


We do not speak of it.
"I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams" - Hamlet

“I’ve always thought the Yankees had something to do with it.” - Confederate General George Pickett, on being asked why his charge at Ghettysburg failed

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.

User avatar
The Romulan Republic
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 12024
Joined: 2008-10-15 01:37am

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby The Romulan Republic » 2017-03-12 12:34pm

Bridge, SSD Executor, Unknown System.

He felt it a moment before it happened, the strange energy reaching out to envelope the bridge crew of the Executor, to envelope him, the bonds that bound his matter together dissolving as he became nothing but energy and thought.

Is this what dying feels like?

Then he was standing in a long, white-walled hall, its high ceiling lit with harsh, bright bulbs. His light sabre was in his hand, though he did not remember drawing it, its red blame buzzing hungrily. Across the opposite wall stretched great windows revealing a view of an Imperial city, perhaps the capital if the perpetual cloud of Imperial industry had parted, the light shining on the gleaming towers of metal and glass.

Coruscant as he remembered it from his youth, before...

He ignored the panicked reactions of the officers around him, Ozzel's furious stuttering and Captain Piet barking questions and commands, trying to restore some order to the chaos. He reached out with his senses, felt the shape of the hall, the frightened presences of the men and women around him, the thrum of power from the great machines concealed behind illusory walls and windows... but no city. No open air, no light of the Sun, no billions of lives and consciousness melded together into a vast, ever-shifting sea. No life beyond these walls, except for the great intelligence that he behind them, orchestrating the illusion.

Fury swelled within him, fury at the creature who had brought them here against their will, who dared to try to bind and deceive him. Red rage clouded his thoughts, fuelling the Dark Side, and he raised his right hand, palm extended, reaching out with the Force to trace the patterns of energy back to their source, then clenched his fist and with a snarl, tore out a massive chunk of the wall. He held it suspended in air for a moment, then dropped it, sending it skidding and sliding with a crash of shattering metal and white-hot sparks across the floor. Where the section of wall had been their was now a jagged, gaping hole in the wall, perhaps five feet across and ten feet high. Around it, the illusory white walls and windows flickered, in and out of focus. Behind it lay a hallway, dimly lit with deep blue light.

***

Firmus starred at the strange room that they had suddenly appeared in. Or perhaps, he thought dazedly, strange was really the wrong word, because under other circumstances, this might have been a hall in the Imperial Palace or an embassy on Coruscant. What was strange, in fact, was that it was so ordinary.

He spun as he heard a low, harsh hum of energy, and saw Lord Vader standing towards the centre of the chamber, a long red energy blade emerging from a cylinder in his right hand.

So that must be a light sabre. He'd heard stories about them, of course, everyone had, but he'd never seen one in use. Realizing that he was standing around starring like an idiot in Lord Vader's presence, he whirled to find Admiral Ozzel gaping around them.

"Order, Sir?"

"I... where are we, Captain?"

The hell if I know, Firmus thought irately. At a loss, he did as he had always done, as he had been taught to do, and fell back on protocol. Insofar as their was a protocol for this situation. He turned to the nearest officer, a young woman who he thought was at Scanners under Lt. Shira's watch.

"Attention Ensign!"

She blinked confusedly for a moment, then nodded and stood at attention.

"Sorry sir."

Firmus suppressed a sharp retort. They were all out of their depth here.

"Ensign, inform your superior that I want a full report on our location and how we arrived here in ten minutes." He thought for a moment, trying to figure out what to do next, then turned in a half-circle, seeking out Commander Avin, who'd been on duty at weapons control. He'd have the Commander's men form a perimeter to secure their position: weapons officers weren't exactly stormtroopers, but it was better than nothing-

He was interrupted by a screech of tearing metal. He spun, then jumped as a piece of the wall suddenly ripped away as if a charge had been detonated on the opposite side of the wall, though he saw no fire and heard no detonation. The debris slid across the floor, and he followed its movement. His eyes fell on Lord Vader, his hand outstretched, his gaze fixed on the gaping rent that had been torn in the wall. Firmus swallowed.

"A hologram." Lord Vader's cold voice echoed throughout the hall. "This is an illusion."

Firmus turned back and took a longer look at the hole that had just been ripped in the wall of the room. Sure enough, the edges of the wall and windows around the hole were flickering insubstantially, though the illusion was far better than the holograms that the Fleet used.

Lord Vader strode to the centre of the room, and Firmus turned his attention back to their Supreme Commander. He was starring at a point on the ceiling overhead, his light sabre still blazing in his grip.

"Who are you? What is your purpose? Reveal yourself!"

The doors at the end of the hall slid open with a soft whoosh. Firmus and several of the other officers stiffened as three companies of stormtroopers filed into the room, the light gleaming on their white armour, their black blaster rifles levelled at the bridge crew of the Executor.

What is this, he thought. Some kind of simulation? Some strange game of the Emperor's? But why-

Another door slid open in the right-hand wall, revealing another stretch of dimly-lit hallway. The lead trooper motioned toward it with his blaster.

"Form up in single-file and proceed into the examination chamber."

"What is the meaning of this", Admiral Ozzel snapped. "Stand down immediately!"

"You will comply", the trooper barked, raising his weapon. Firmus tensed.

"I grow weary of these games", said Lord Vader. He raised his fist again, and Firmus twitched involuntarily as another explosion rocked the hall, and another, and another, as Lord Vader tore more panels and machinery out of the walls in showers of sparks and fragments of twisted metal. The stormtroopers, who Firmus now realized had been holograms as well, flickered and died. So did the remaining walls and windows, floor and ceiling, leaving them standing in a smaller, though still spacious chamber lit in purple and blue. It was empty, aside from the bridge crew and the dark presence of Lord Vader. His light sabre cast an eerie red glow across the floor of the chamber, and his shadow spread out like the wings of some great bird of prey behind him.

"Reveal yourself!"

Their was silence. Then a voice spoke, old and wry but seemingly human, seeming to come from the air around them.

"Well, aren't you demanding for a minor, bi-pedal species?"

"You will pay the price for your imprudence."

"Most intransigent", the speaker replied, not sounding remotely concerned by the Dark Lord's threat. "I had hoped that a familiar setting would put you at ease, but you seem determined to be objectionable."

With a metallic sound that could only be a snarl, Lord Vader strode towards the hole he had ripped in the far wall, evidently intending to cut a path out of the chamber with his blade. Before he reached it, however, the strange columns of light enveloped them once more.

***

Firmus blinked, taking in the familiar view of the Executor's bridge, the shouts of surprise and alarm, and the blasters being suddenly levelled at them by a squad of Imperial stormtroopers. A few feet behind them, he could see Commander Dornaj, the Executor's Chief Engineer, his features surprised and, Firmus thought, a little wary. Understandable. Then he remembered the holographic troopers.

"Illusions", he asked, when he had recovered his senses.

"No, Captain", Lord Vader replied. "We are once more aboard our ship."

"Stand down", Commander Dornaj quickly snapped. The troopers lowered their blasters, and Firmus let out a breath as he felt the tension in the room dissipate slightly.

"How long were we absent", Admiral Ozzel asked. "Was anyone else taken?"

Commander Dornaj was regarding him warily.

"Commander!"

"Sir... you've been gone two days."
"Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid. As a nation, we began by declaring that "all men are created equal." We now practically read it "all men are created equal, except negroes" When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read "all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics." When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty -- to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy." - Lincoln.

User avatar
FaxModem1
Sith Acolyte
Posts: 5965
Joined: 2002-10-30 06:40pm
Location: In a dark reflection of a better world

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby FaxModem1 » 2017-03-12 04:12pm

Banjo Man strikes, and Vader is not happy.
Image

User avatar
The Romulan Republic
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 12024
Joined: 2008-10-15 01:37am

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby The Romulan Republic » 2017-03-12 04:33pm

Indeed. I had fun writing this being basically trolling the Imperials. :D

And here's a little teaser:

Coming up soon: Our first fleet action.
"Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid. As a nation, we began by declaring that "all men are created equal." We now practically read it "all men are created equal, except negroes" When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read "all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics." When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty -- to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy." - Lincoln.

User avatar
LadyTevar
White Mage
White Mage
Posts: 18846
Joined: 2003-02-12 10:59pm
Location: Tahalshia Manor

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby LadyTevar » 2017-03-12 09:37pm

TWO DAYS?!
Oh shit, not the Cardassians... the PROPHETS.
Image

Librium Arcana, Where Gamers Play!
Nitram, slightly high on cough syrup: Do you know you're beautiful?
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet

User avatar
phred
Jedi Knight
Posts: 940
Joined: 2006-03-25 04:33am

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby phred » 2017-03-13 12:11am

No the thread was about the Delta quadrant. It's the Caretaker looking for a 'suitable replacement' or something of that nature.

Decent setup so far. I like the way you're handling the characters

That being said THERE, THEIR, and THEY'RE, are three different fucking words, and it drags me out of the story when you use the wrong one. I know it's a nitpick, but it really grates on my nerves.
PRFYNAFBTFC
Captain of the MFS Pyro Technic - Carpe Cervisia

Yo mama so classless, she's a Marxist utopia - Proof that not all general chat is totally devoid of intelligence.

It's so bad it wraps back around to awesome then back to bad again, then back to halfway between awesome and bad. Like if ed wood directed a godzilla movie - Duckie

User avatar
The Romulan Republic
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 12024
Joined: 2008-10-15 01:37am

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby The Romulan Republic » 2017-03-15 12:13pm

Bridge, SSD Executor, Unknown System.

Admiral Kendal Ozzel listened with growing consternation to Commander Dornaj's report.

The minutes since they had arrived had been rather confused. Once that idiot Dornaj had stood his men down, he informed them, to their surprise and incredulity, that they had been gone for two entire days. Drugged, probably, he thought, recalling the holographic stomtrooper's mention of an "examination room". He shivered.

"Once we ascertained that the bridge was deserted, and that you were not aboard the vessel, I assumed acting command of the Executor and the fleet", Dornaj was saying. Ozzel barely restrained a snort. The man had probably jumped at the chance. He was probably the first Commander in the Empire to command an SSD, or an entire SD squadron. "We attempted to scan the station, but were unable to determine anything beyond its basic structure, composition, and energy output. We hailed the station repeatedly, attempting to ascertain what had occurred, but we received no reply."

"Why did you not fire on the station", Captain Piet asked. Of course. Piet was a competent officer, but rather lacking in imagination. Obviously he would have simply blown the station out of the sky, and the entire bridge crew and Lord Vader with it, instead of trying to take an unfamiliar but clearly advanced technology intact.

Dornaj swallowed nervously.

"One of my Lts. analyzed the internal sensor records, and concluded that you had been disintegrated by some sort of beam which penetrated our shields. I resolved that it would be unwise to risk the Executor in battle until a means of countering this weaponry had been devised. Instead, I focussed the fleet's efforts on intelligence gathering, and attempting to ascertain how we were transported to this system."

Its a logical reply, he thought, even if it smells of cowardice. Dornaj continued.

"Our probe droids have charted most of the systems within one hundred light years. We have ascertained the presence of three other interstellar powers. We have identified two from intercepted communications as the Talaxians and the Viddeans, and are attempting to identify the third. All of their vessels that we have encountered appear to be no more powerful than a typical corvette- most of them considerably less so."

"And what of the vortex", Lord Vader broke in.

Dornaj swallowed again. The man really needs to grow a back bone.

"We have analyzed the scanner readings My Lord, but have been unable to match it to any known energy source, natural or artificial, in our databanks. Our analyses are continuing. No further indications of the vortex's presence have been detected since your... departure."

"Could this station have transported us here", Kendal asked.

"Unknown, Sir", the Commander replied uncomfortably. "However, the energy readings of the station's field do not match those of the vortex."

"We could do with a few less unknowns, and a few more facts, Commander", Piet said sharply, and in this case, Kendal agreed with his chief subordinate.

Dornaj shifted uncomfortably once again, and Kendal thought his eyes darted to Lord Vader, who was standing impassively beside him.

"My apologies, Sir. However, we do have one other possible lead. A few hours after your... departure, we detected a massive energy surge from the station, which rapidly accelerated to over twelve thousand times the speed of light before it passed beyond the range of our scanners. However, it was not directed at us. We calculated its trajectory, but it was not aimed at any nearby system."

"A hyperspace weapon", Kendal asked, intrigued. Their were rumours of experimental hyperspace weapons under development in secret Imperial facilities, but nothing official.

"The readings did not match those of known hyperspatial technology", Dornaj replied, earning a glower from his superior officer. "However, shortly after the energy surge, we detected a similar, but weaker surge returning towards the station, on a reciprocal of the previous trajectory. As soon as it passed, a small vessel... materialized between us and the station."

"Materialized", Piet asked sharply.

"Where is this vessel now", Lord Vader interjected, breaking his silence.

"We hailed them, My Lord. When we received no reply, I had the vessel tractored into our hanger bay. It is currently being examined for any indication as to its origins, and how the station might have brought it here."

"Very good, Commander", Lord Vader intoned. "Proceed with your examination." He turned as that Lt. at Scanners approached. She was an attractive woman, Kendal thought, in a rather severe way. Perhaps some time he'd have to see if he could loosen her up. "Report."

"Sir, Ensign Biel did not return with us."

"Are you certain", Piet asked sharply.

"Yes, sir", the Lt. replied, expression blank.

Piet turned to him.

"She is likely still a prisoner aboard the station, Sir."

Kendal frowned. He could hardly refuse to respond to an alien entity abducting Imperial officers, but the risks of a rescue mission for the return of a single junior officer would usually have rendered the mission out of the question. But it did provide a justification for securing the station.

"If I might suggest, my Lord", he said, turning to face Vader. The Dark Lord regarded him impassively, and Ozzel shifted nervously, intimidated by that silent, implacable presence, and annoyed at himself for being so easily unnerved. "We have detected no shielding around the station, and its hull should not be able to withstand our weapons. Whatever its offensive capabilities, its defences appear highly limited. An ion canon barrage could be used to disable it and allow a boarding party to recover the Ensign, if she is aboard. It would also provide us with an opportunity to secure this technology for further examination."

"The station's full capabilities are still unknown, Admiral", Lord Vader replied after a moment. "Proceed, but target the station with heavy turbo lasers. If the ion canons prove ineffective, you are to destroy the station immediately."

He nodded sharply, relieved and a little surprised that his proposal had met with the Dark Lord's approval.

"Yes My Lord." He turned to Piet. "Proceed, Captain."

"Battle stations!", Piet barked, and the bridge crew scurried to their posts, as the deep wail of the Battle Alert began to sound throughout the ship. Clasping his hands behind his back in a posture of complete confidence, Ozzel strode to the centre of the bridge and gazed out at the distant station hovering before them in space, allowing himself a small smile of satisfaction despite the tension of an impending battle. A risky decision, but if they were successful, the rewards might be immense.

***

"Battle stations!" Firmus watched with approval as the Executor's bridge crew moved with calm professionalism to assume their stations, and the Battle Alarm began to wail in the background. This was his element, on the bridge of the Executor, his bridge, with the full firepower of the greatest warship in the Empire at his command. He was, he knew, not an imaginative man, yet thought that he could almost feel the power of the vessel, blazing like an artificial sun beneath his feet. Commander Dornaj, having already surrendered command of the Executor, had excused himself, returning to his post in Engineering. Admiral Ozzel had taken up position in the centre of the bridge, and Firmus joined him a moment later, watching as the Command Ship's crew prepared for battle. It was not the decision he would have made- the safest course of action, to his mind, was to simply destroy the station with a surprise assault. However, he recognized the potential benefits, and it was not his place to question the decisions of his superiors. He did hope that they would be able to recover the Ensign... Ensign Beil? And teach this alien the error of abducting the Empire's officers.

"Turbo lasers standing by!", he heard Commander Avin say. Then a moment later: "Ion canons standing by!" He glanced sidelong at Ozzel, who nodded.

"Have the heavy turbo lasers maintain target lock and await my command. Forward ion canons, fire on my mark." He paused, savouring the moment. "Fire."

Twin pulses of blueish-white light streaked out across the void as he waited for the result.

"Two hits", the weapons crews confirmed a few seconds later. "Minimal effect."

Firmus tensed, glancing at Admiral Ozzel.

"Increase Ion canon barrage", the Admiral said. "All batteries."

Firmus grimaced. It was stretching the limits of Lord Vader's orders, but if it went badly, the blame would fall on the Admiral, not on him. Unless we all die, of course.

"Fire all ion canons, maximum power."

"Sir!" The cry came from Scanners, and Firmus felt his gut tighten in anticipation. "We're detecting a power surge from the station-"

Without waiting for the Admiral's approval, he gave the order.

"Turbolasers, fire at will!"

But it was too late. Even as the first of the intensified ion barrage shot out towards the station, and before the turbo lasers could add their fury to the onslaught, a wall or wave of white and orange energy rolled out from the station, crossing the distance between them in a matter of moments.

"Brace for impact!" Their was no time to do anything else. Firmus found himself thinking of his family back in the Core, his first days at the Academy, his first space command. He wondered if anyone would ever find out what had happened to them.

The wave struck the Exectuor, washing over her hull, filling the bridge windows with fire. The great ship shuddered slightly, and then-

It was gone. He could see the stars outside, the other ships of Death Squadron arrayed around them, but no station. No sun.

"Report!", he snapped, hoping that he didn't sound as shaken as he felt.

"Sir... our coordinates appear to have changed."

"I can see that, Lt.", he snapped. "Where are we?"

"We're still confirming that Sir, but we appear to have been shifted out of the system, at least... 97 light years."
"Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid. As a nation, we began by declaring that "all men are created equal." We now practically read it "all men are created equal, except negroes" When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read "all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics." When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty -- to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy." - Lincoln.

User avatar
seanrobertson
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 2138
Joined: 2002-07-12 05:57pm

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby seanrobertson » 2017-03-21 09:53pm

I like it, and you, for that matter.

Nonetheless, while I gather you are a dual citizen of the U.S. and Canada (unless I've confused you with someone else), if your native tongue is French, your English is remarkable -- save something Phred pointed out earlier: differentiating between the proper use of the word "there" and variations thereon. Writing "their," a possessive pronoun, when you mean to write "there," as in, "I want to go to [there] Disneyland," definite to yanks a discerning reader out of the narrative, if only briefly.

They are = they're. "They are coming to the party" is a less contracted way of same as "They're coming to the party."
Their = possessive pronoun, as in, "That isn't my dog. It belongs to my neighbor's. It is THEIR dog."
There = occupying a place in time. "The museum is over there, to the right of that McDonald's.". Or, "Hey, Worf just took a massive shit over THERE, so I would avoid that area if I were you"
Pain, or damage, don't end the world, or despair, or fuckin' beatin's. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, ya got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man ... and give some back.
-Al Swearengen

Cry woe, destruction, ruin and decay: The worst is death, and death will have his day.
-Ole' Shakey's "Richard II," Act III, scene ii.
Image

User avatar
The Romulan Republic
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 12024
Joined: 2008-10-15 01:37am

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby The Romulan Republic » 2017-03-21 10:01pm

Yeah, I know.

My native tongue is definitely English, but confusing "their" and "there" is a bad habit I got into many years ago, and while I do theoretically know better, I constantly slip back into if I'm not consciously thinking about it. Trust me, it annoys me too.

My apologies if it disrupts anyone's appreciation of the story. I cannot go back and edit it out of old chapters, but I will make a point of proofreading future chapters for this error specifically, which is probably a habit that I should get into.
"Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid. As a nation, we began by declaring that "all men are created equal." We now practically read it "all men are created equal, except negroes" When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read "all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics." When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty -- to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy." - Lincoln.

User avatar
Eternal_Freedom
Castellan
Posts: 8594
Joined: 2010-03-09 02:16pm
Location: Bound in a nutshell
Contact:

Re: A New Path (Star Trek vs. Star Wars).

Postby Eternal_Freedom » 2017-03-22 02:53pm

If you want someone to proofread your chapters for the errors and general typos etc I'll volunteer.
"I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams" - Hamlet

“I’ve always thought the Yankees had something to do with it.” - Confederate General George Pickett, on being asked why his charge at Ghettysburg failed

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.


Return to “User Fiction”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests