Cultural Sensitivity

[SMJB]

The great elven sculpture Calderon was putting the finishing touches on what he was sure was to be his masterpiece and as he did so allowed his mind to wander. Not surprisingly considering that this was a tribute to human culture his thoughts turned to humanity. There was no question that humans had built a great civilization before the return of magic—"electrical" devices kept getting dug up at excavation sites around the world, which even if you discounted far-fetched claims of what they were capable of before the global magical field returned to interfere with them was indicative of an extremely far-flung culture—but surely there couldn't have been three hundred million people in the United States alone? It was by all indications a large polity, stretching by some accounts from Tijuana to the arctic and from the Atlantic seaboard to Japan, but still.

Regardless of what human civilization was like before the Return, however, it was certainly upset considerably by it. Diseases—some of which were once treatable, others which were magical in nature—wars, there being simply not enough food. And things certainly weren't helped by the invading elves, but really, what were they supposed to do? They returned from limbo to find themselves in a world where there was no land unclaimed, so they had to take someone else's or die. Was it their fault that access to greater magics made them far better at it than anyone else?

Some things were unintentional, some things were necessary, and certainly everything was in the past, but that doesn't change the fact that humans got royally screwed, their culture all but destroyed. And it certainly didn't change what happened afterward. Humans were never legally second-class citizens but, with their short lifespans, lack of magical powers, and strange religious beliefs, were effectively so. And that's not even getting into the territory of broken treaties.

Still, though, things were getting better, as every good elven liberal was comforted by knowing. Human complaints about discrimination were no longer being routinely ignored, human historical and religious sites such as what was left of the Vatican were becoming protected landmarks, and more and more elves were trying to be culturally sensitive. Which generally meant stopping at bazaar stalls outside Seattle to buy ceramic replicas of handguns (another technology which didn't work because of magic) and cell phones, but still.

The concerted effort towards cultural sensitivity was why projects like Calderon's were happening, in fact. Not that mistakes weren't still being made. One of Calderon's rivals had made a tribute to the Lord Protector of Seattle, figuring that the reason that he was considered evil and his enemies considered good was because he fought against the elves while the latter allied with them, only it turns out that the Lord Protector was a warlord who rose after the fall of the United States and ruled by a pseudo-medieval reign of terror—his flag, in fact, was literally an ancient symbol of evil. Calderon found this amusing enough, though the site was still visited by clueless elves and humans from places far enough away to have never heard of the Lord Protector and was considered a success by an even more clueless government.

Calderon had no intention of making the same mistake, however; he had done his research, and found a proper hero to memorialize. Who could object to George Washington, after all? Not only was he an actual hero but he was a cultural icon across most of this continent.

Calderon finished his work, and it was about time to take down the huge magical tent hiding it from the world, but first he stood back and admired his work, the tribute to the first King of America. The statue was a hundred and fifty feet tall, climbing out of the earth like he was returning from the afterlife—the hole he was climbing from was twenty feet deep and composed of the former site of Arlington National Cemetery. In an acknowledgement of the majority human faith of the continent, he has a Christian cross suspended upside down about his neck, and extends his middle finger in an elven "good luck" gesture in the direction of the former Washington DC.

Truly an inspiring sight, he felt proudly, as he prepared to show it to the world.

[SMJB]

So yeah, this is a thing I posted on DeviantArt a million years ago. Yes, those were shout-outs to Dies the Fire. It doesn't take place in the same universe or anything, this isn't a fanfic, it's just that that scenario struck me as horrifyingly realistic (you know, in such an impossible situation).

This was inspired by a Cracked article I read once upon a time, which likened an incident where white people tried to honor a local tribe by carving one of their famous leaders into a mountain--defacing a landmark that was holy to them--pointing at I-don't-remember-what to reference some famous quote of his--when pointing is extremely rude in their culture--to demolishing Arlington to create a giant statue of George Washington flipping us the bird.

That's the entire story, by the way. There's no second chapter.

[krakonfour]

That made me giggle.

Only one problem: How can a hundred and fifty foot tall statue be shown climbing out of a twenty foot deep hole? That's like, knee deep (1/7 of the statue's height).

[SMJB]

One foot in, one foot out.

[krakonfour]

One foot in, one foot out.

What a climb

I think a more offensive symbol would have been a Native American tribe chief or something.