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Quote of the Week: "A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled." - Barnett Cocks, British political writer (1907-)


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 Post subject: Urban Fantasy Prologue for NaNoWriMo 2012 PostPosted: 2012-10-22 12:21am
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Redshirt

Joined: 2012-09-10 12:44am
Posts: 11
For every planting, a reaping.
For every power, a seed.
For every soul, a price.
For every spell, a corruption.
- The Pact Grimoire


"All scientific personnel, this is an emergency evacuation order. Containment breached in R-3. I repeat, alien entity has breached quarantine. Evacuate immediately."

Stupid mechanical voice. Hungry.

I felt blood splatter against my flesh as I bit into my prey. The pink skinned creature in some sort of white second-skin-thing screamed in agony as I bit into its tender flesh. Its paltry, soft white claws scratched against my carapace as I tore into my meal.

I tore into the soft flesh beneath its screaming mouth and the screams stopped, becoming a near-soundless gurgle before the creature became silent. I pouted slightly at that. It tasted good but the screaming? The screaming was truly divine music to my ears.

I should tell the others. I had finally found a new source of food for the Hive.

An announcement played as I released the scent that meant Food and frowned as I scanned the room for the rest of the food.

Did the food run off? Oh well. Food will learn. Food does not run from a Gnarn. I will teach the next Food not to run!

I heard a sound and turned towards one of the strange walls that always showed a reflection of me. Food is weird and creepy. Why would Food want to look at itself?

I watched the creepy wall shatter and then there was pain. I screamed until it stopped.

Bad Food!

I roared at the two Food and used my meal to rebuild my carapace.

Hungry.

The Food started to make weird metallic noises. I charged the stupid Food and tore into one quickly, ripping out the same flesh bit between its head and torso. It went down in a spray of wonderful, tasty blood. I licked my lips.

More pain. I turned towards the stupid, mean Food and roared at it. It started doing its weird metallic noisy thing and I slammed it into part of the unbroken creepy reflective wall. I smiled at the sweet music it made.

Now to see if I could teach the Food not to run away...



Thoughts? Moar or something else plz?

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 Post subject: Re: Urban Fantasy Prologue for NaNoWriMo 2012 PostPosted: 2012-10-22 01:24am
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Padawan Learner

Joined: 2011-06-09 03:35am
Posts: 165
*Bows*

Here's a small re-write for ideas/changes to stye.

Thoughts? Comments?

================================================================================

For every planting, a reaping.
For every power, a seed.
For every soul, a price.
For every spell, a corruption.

- The Pact Grimoire

Shrill sounds...Flashing, blinking strobe lights stab

[*"All personnel! This is emergency evacuation order 'Protocol 1'. Containment breached in R-3. I repeat, emergency evacuation order 'Protocol 1'. Evacuate immediately."*]

Stupid lights, stupid noise.

I feel blood patter around and over me as my outer-mandibles clamp into prey. The frail skinned creature, in some flapping white second-coat, screaming and flailing. Its paltry, soft white limbs batting against carapace as the first mandibles begin to inexorably contract. Closer and closer to the inner mouth parts which tear into the meal. Convulsive jerks and thrust, feeling of joy and contentment, as food is consumed.

========================================================================================

*Do you wish to know more*



Highlord Laan wrote:
Agatha Heterodyne built a squadron of flying pigs and an overgunned robot reindeer in a cave! With a box of scraps!


"And low, I have cometh, the destroyer of threads."

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 Post subject: Re: Urban Fantasy Prologue for NaNoWriMo 2012 PostPosted: 2012-10-23 10:55pm
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Redshirt

Joined: 2012-09-10 12:44am
Posts: 11
Sounds like Starship troopers. XD I'll reply to your PM in a bit.

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 Post subject: Re: Urban Fantasy Prologue for NaNoWriMo 2012 PostPosted: 2012-10-24 03:03am
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Padawan Learner

Joined: 2011-06-09 03:35am
Posts: 165
*Bows*

:)

Tweaking and borrowing other tropes is always good fun.

Much cheers to you and yours.



Highlord Laan wrote:
Agatha Heterodyne built a squadron of flying pigs and an overgunned robot reindeer in a cave! With a box of scraps!


"And low, I have cometh, the destroyer of threads."

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