Sonic Event Horizon (MLP/SG1/WHO)

[Skgoa]

Note: this is the first part of a larger multi-crossover cycle that I am making up as I go. (I deliberately only spell-check this story and don't rewrite anything.) It's just to keep me writing even when I am bogged down and can't decide how to continue my actual NaNoWriMo novel.

edit: The title has changed to reflect that it's going to have more Dr. Who in it than I had thought when I started.


Ponygate I

“Chevron Seven - locked!” announced the familiar disembodied voice. Jack watched the swirling vortex of the artificial wormhole gush out of the Stargate, only to contract back and stabilize into the familiar event horizon. The sight never stopped to amaze him.
He turned to his team and said, “OK, let’s go. P-0NY is waiting to be explored.” They didn’t need any further encouragement, they had done this often enough. He felt the icy sensation that signified his demol... demolecu... demagnetizement? Carter would know, Carter always knew. He thought he saw visions himself being flung through the universe, passing stars at many times the speed of light. By know he knew that was only a trick of the mind, an illusion everyone experienced in the “moment” of consciousness the Stargate needed to completely brake you apart and reassemble you on the other side.
He found himself staggering down the pedestal this Gate was placed on. He looked around. This planet didn’t look like any other he had ever been on. They were in what seemed to be a baroque garden. Gravel walkways criss-crossed, grassy areas, he could see many statues, there even was a huge hedge maze adorned with streamers. That the statues all were depictions of horses was something he decided to let Daniel explain.
“Sir? Um, are you all right?” That was Mayor Carter’s voice coming from behind him. Irritated he turned around. “Carter, why shouldn’t I be--” That wasn’t the Samantha Carter he knew. Even though the being standing there showed striking similarities like a sandy blond mane and beautiful eyes, his second-in-command simply wasn’t a horse. That’s something Jack was certain he would have noticed over the years, especially during the Broca incident.
Well, he had to take a chance. “I could ask you the same question, Carter. If you really are Carter.” The Maybe-Carter seemed puzzled, then her eyes widened and she looked at herself. “Oh, it must have affected me, too!” she said.
Before she could say anything else, the other members of SG-1 came through the Stargate. Or horses that looked like caricatures of them. Maybe-Teal’c only raised an eye-brow, so Jack decided it definitely was the guy. Daniel on the other hand seemed perplexed. “Wha--”, was all he got out.
“The Gate must have reassembled us incorrectly. Sir, once I find out what caused it, I should be able to write a patch that will turn us human again when we step through on our way back.” Carter had evidently not wasted any time. She went on to say, “This is amazing, though. I don’t think we are even in the same reality anymore.”
No Daniel’s mind had caught up with them. “What makes you say that, Sam?”
“Daniel, Daniel, Daniel; will you ever learn...” Jack mumbled, as the Major seized the opportunity to launch into one of her tech-rambles. “Well, Daniel, take a look around! Trees don’t seem made up of many tiny branches and leaves, instead they look like one single mass of green. Or look at the statues, their shadows are far to sharp. And if you still need further proof: look up.” They all did. Jack heard Daniel gasp, undoubtedly in the same shock he was in: there were honest-to-god cartoon clouds in the perfectly blue sky. He looked back down, Carter now sported a wide grin. “We are not in Kansas anymore.”
Teal’c raised his eye-brow again. “I believe we have never been to planet Kansas, Major Carter”, the humanoid - well, equestrianoid at the moment, alien said.
Jack glanced at the members of his team: On Carter’s... well... flank he saw an image of atoms and greek letters. Teal’c sported a broken in two version of the tattoo that normally was on his forehead: the crest of his former master Apophis. And Daniel’s symbol was a stone pillar and a book. Jack checked himself, his sides displayed the air-force’s stylized eagle. He could guess the meaning of these pictograms.
“Ok, this is what we are going to do: Carter, you figure out if and how you can turn us back. Teal’c you keep her company and help her with the Gate. Daniel, you are coming with me; we are going to explore the surrounding area.”

[Skgoa]

MEANWHILE

“Spike? Spike! Were are you?” Twilight Sparkle shouted, “If you can hear me: I am going to the castle library! I will meet you back in Ponyville!”
She got no answer, so she decided against shouting any further. Taking a short-cut through the castle garden would be the fastest route and she had always loved to look at all the stone statues. They embodied all emotions and aspects of live. While passing Discord, Twilight wondered if it was Princess Celestia’s great wisdom that had made her not only include positive things like Victory and Friendship, but also such unpleasant aspects like Sorrow. In front of which Twilight now stood. Sorrow had always amazed her. A depiction of a pegasus pony, the statue hid her face in her hooves, giving the impression weeping. It was facing her and even though the violet unicorn couldn’t see the eyes, something resonated deep inside her; told of an eternal loneliness. “Well, I guess I can just look Princess Celestia’s reasons up in the library”, she said to no one in particular and went on her way, past the statue. She admired the craftsponyship that had gone into the wings that she could now see. After having taken only a few dozen steps, she felt a tingling in the for-- in her magic that made her turn around. But no, there was nothing amiss, there. The statue was still facing her, head in her hooves. Twilight decided she must be imagining things and turned back towards Canterlot Castle, ignoring the tingling sensation that now had come back and was growing stronger by the second.

[Skgoa]

Ok, I don't know how or when these two plots (pun intended) are going to meet. But they are happening in parallel in the same 'verse.

Dr Whooves I

The TARDIS came to an abrupt stop. It’s passengers picked themselves up from the floor. While shaking his head to get a clearer grip on reality, Captain Jack Harkness said, “Doctor, your driving skills are ever improving.”
“What?”, was the only reply.
“Sorry, old friend, but it is true.” Captain Jack flashed a disarming grin in the general direction of where he thought the Doctor was. It didn’t seem to work, because the only thing he got for it was the Doctor saying, “What?”, again.
Now his vision started to clear, and he could make out the familiar details of the TARDIS’ interior. Although, everything looked a little like they were in one of those 21st century Earth cartoons the kids liked to watch. He looked over to the Doctor, but there was a horse there, standing right in the middle of the TARDIS. Jack was mildly amused by that but didn’t give it much further thought. The Doctor would know what to make of it.
“What?” Ok, now this was strange. The horse had said that. In the Doctor’s voice. “OH, no, no, no, no, no, no...”, the Horse again. It sounded exactly like him. It looked a little similar to him, too. Especially the hair - mane? - on it’s head reminded him of his gallifreyan friend. And the hourglass symbol on it’s ass would be fitting for a Time Lord, too.
Had he regenerated wrongly? But he hadn’t even been dying! Jack made a step towards the Doctor, who was now frantically going over the TARDIS’s bells and whistles. No, literally, it was bells and whistles. He hit his right foreleg on something unidentifiable. Wait, foreleg? Jack looked at his body. Why yes, he was a horse, too. A pretty stunning stallion, colored the same blue his time agent uniform had way back then. On his muscular behind was a Martini glass and between his legs... was nothing. Now it was his turn to shout, “WHAT?” He definitely would not spent eternity as an unmanned horse. “Doctor, do something!”, he pleaded.
By now, the Time Horse had calmed down. He said, “Don’t worry, we are just in a different reality. Normally, the TARDIS would have protected us, but it just changed us to adapt to the local rules of physics. We would have disintegrated the moment we stepped outside, otherwise. It will turn us back automatically once we leave.” He grinned.
“So then do it!” Jack really was no happy camper.
The Doctor didn’t look like that was an option to him. “Aren’t you the least bit curious? Don’t you want to see this strange universe? Come on, Jack! Allons-y!” And with that, he strode - trotted? - out the door and left Jack alone in the TARDIS. The former time agent sighed and followed his friend.

[evilsoup]

OH GOD
Yes! Keep writing this! I actually laughed out loud.

[Skgoa]

They had yet to find anything interesting while exploring the garden. “So, Daniel, do you think we are going to meet any Goa’uld here?” Jack turned to his head to look at his best friend. “A cartoonish villain would be fitting for a cartoon universe.”
“I don’t think so, Jack. These statues look nothing like we have ever seen from one of them. You would expect at least some obvious symbols of godhood.” Daniel stopped for a moment to gesture back the way they came with one of his legs. “Although this ‘discord’ creature looks a bit like a snake. Maybe they overthrew their resident Goa’uld overlord a long time ago. That would explain why the other statues, the ones that are showing aspects of harmony and good things, are all ponies.”
“Ponies? The were bigger than us, ponies are smaller than horses.”, Jack said.
Now Daniel looked smug. “Ah, yes. But we are ponies, too. You can tell from the proportions.”
They came to an empty pedestal. “Now that is weird.”, Jack’s archeologist friend said, “There is no statue, but the plaque reads ‘Sorrow’.” He frowned. “‘Sorrow is emptiness’? ‘Sorrow is no one else being there for you’?”
Jack didn’t see the problem. “What’s the matter? So they decided to be a little arts-y with this one.”
“Ja-ack! Cultures don’t just go and change their style for no reason. The other statues were very expressive, almost over-the-top, in their depictions of the sometimes very abstract qualities they represented. Ok, the ‘discord’ one was a little strange, but this is definitely significant.”
But decided to be renitent and asked, “They could be in the process of making them and simply have not gotten to this one, yet. Or they might have taken it away to clean it.”
Daniel just looked at him in that way that told Jack he wasn’t being taken seriously. “We have to find a local.” Jack knew from experience that Daniel wouldn’t stop pestering him until he gave in, so didn’t even try to stop the inevitable and followed his friend down the path towards the castle.

[Skgoa]

New Companion

Jack found the Doctor outside, staring at another horse. The grey horse with a blonde mane and tail - no, Jack didn’t know how that was possible, either - was watching him with a calmness that didn’t quite seem to fit to it’s weirdly crossed eyes.
“Hello there, I am the Doctor.” the Time Horse said. “And who are you?”
“Hi, my name is Derpy, but people often call me by my old nickname: Ditzy Doo.” she cocked her head a little. “I don’t know why they keep doing that. I’m a grown-up now.”
“Hello, Ditzy. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” The Doctor kept examining her from mane to hoof. “Now, this may seem stra--”
Jack couldn’t stop himself from butting in, “Hello, blonde.” He looked deep into her eyes, although he had to fight to not feel vertigo because of that, and took her hoof in his. “I am Captain Jack Harkness.”
“Stop it!” The Doctor was being a spoil-sport, again.
Now the grey horse had somehow managed to flush her cheeks red. “I, uh, thats... muffins!” Her wings had spread fully. Both ex-humanoids stared at her. “What?” she asked, “do I something on my nose again?”
“Are they fully functional?” The Doctor was in full-on curiosity mode again. “Can you fly?”
“Of course I can fly, every pegasus pony can fly.” Now she looked worried. “Did that blue barn hit you on the head when it well out of the sky?”
“Blue barn? What blue barn?” He turned to look in the direction she pointed at. “Oh, of course! Different rules of physics mean the TARDIS will look differently, too.” Now he turned back to Derpy. “What do you do around here?”
“I’m the mailmare!” she announced happily. “Ponies don’t write many letters in Ponyville, but they sometimes get mail from Fillydelphia. So we mostly do parcels. They won’t take you, though. Only pegasi can do the job, because you are just so much faster when you fly. ”
The Doctor didn’t seem interested in the Equestrian Postal Service, though. “I meant for fun. Show us something you do for fun.”
“I like muffins.” She seemed to think that was perfectly enough of an answer.
“Do go on.” he said, with a little hint of impatience in his voice. “What else is there?”
Jack was getting bored, so he wandered off. The Doctor would find him sooner or later.

[tortieconspiracy]

Oh dear. Is Sorrow an Equestrian version of a Weeping Angel? Also, it has hands instead of hooves or was that a typo?

[Skgoa]

Typo? What typo?

Meet & Greet

They still had not met anyone and were almost at the castle.
“Jack, I just realized something.” said Daniel. Jack’s reply was a grunted, “u-huh.”
Daniel rolled his eyes. “No, something important. If the Gate turned us into horses, and almost all the statues are of horses...” He looked at Jack as if expecting him to finish the sentence. Jack only stared back.
So Daniel finished the thought, “... than I think there is a high probability the dominant sentient species on this planet is horses.”
“Yep.” came the laconic reply.
“You had figured that out?” Daniel sounded slightly incredulous, a fact that obviously annoyed Jack. “If I might ask, how?”
Now it was Jack’s turn to direct a look of superiority at him. “This is a cartoon universe. I don’t know how the Ancients got the Gate here or even why they did it. But I don’t think they would have needed to watch Space Jam to know that real life and animated characters don’t mesh all to well. And you have to ask yourself: why horses? Why not cartoon versions of ourselves?”
Daniel decided against revealing his theories gleaned from the architecture and said, “Yeah, that was my reasoning, too.” Then he spotted something purple run towards them. “I guess that’s a native.”
Jack stopped and turned towards the purple pony. “They seem to be getting restless.”
Daniel closed his eyes and willed himself not to groan at that bad pun. The pony had almost reached them.
“Gallop!” it shouted. “Please! Gallop, don’t trot! We are all in grave danger!” When they had not moved at the moment she reached them, she stopped to plead with them, “You have to go! Please help me, you are our only hope. There is no time to explain. My name is Twilight Sparkle, but you can’t tell anyone you already know me.” Now she looked over their shoulder, fixating on a statue. “You have to get to Ponyville, just follow the road. When you are there, find the Doctor, he will know what to do. Please, you have to hurry.” They still had not moved. At a closer look, she seemed very old to Daniel. “I don’t know how long I can keep myself from blinking.” She was still staring at the statue of a winged pony hiding it’s face in it’s hooves. “Please, just believe me! Go!”
They looked at each other. Jack nodded, and so they turned around the ran along the gravel road that led away from the castle. Daniel wondered what this could be about. Was she ill? Maybe even dying? Or why else did she ask for a doctor?

[Eternal_Freedom]

This is alarmingly compelling, and I usually despise MLP.

[evilsoup]

I see we have a neighsayer in the thread.

Do SG1 have their guns?

[Skgoa]

Even if they had, with what fingers would they pull the trigger?

[evilsoup]

Well, that could be a little scene 'everyone shoot that statue thing!'
'Colonel O'niel, we do not appear to have fingers..'.

But I guess guns would be inappropriate for the magical cartoon world of MLP, so the Stargate didn't materialise them?

[Skgoa]

In one sentence: yes. In one slightly longer sentence: stop second guessing my plot points!


Lampshade Hanging

Samantha Carter was very satisfied with herself. Not only had she been quick to figure out what was going on, she had also found the symbol for this Gate, and thus the address they had to dial to get home, without much effort. Now the wormhole had engaged successfully. Now they would only have to transmit the iris code, so they would be permitted to be re-materialized on Earth.
“Major Carter, I have come to the conclusion that something is amiss.” Teal’c said to her.
Sam looked at him. “Other than that we are in a cartoon universe, something that shouldn’t even be possible?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Indeed.”
“Then what is it?” She was getting a little exasperated.
“Major Carter, how are we going to transmit the iris code?” he said. “Furthermore, where is the M.A.L.P. or any of our gear?”
Sam looked around in shock. He was right, none of their technology had made it through the Stargate. “We have to inform Colonel O’Neill.” She raised a hoof to her shoulder, were her radio would be. That wasn’t there, too. “It must be part of the basic rules of this universe that there is no technology here, that’s why we haven’t noticed before." She looked at the Stargate. It was different from the Gates she knew. It was light grey, and the lights that marked the chevrons were gemstones. "Teal’c, there is nothing more we can achieve here, and we need to find Daniel and the Colonel. We can dial any other planet without am iris,, so we aren’t stuck here. But we are unarmed and I fear Colonel O’Neill doesn’t know. They could be in trouble already.”
The dark brown pony nodded and said, “I concur, Major Carter.”