My Little Warhammer: Friendship is Heresy

[Mr. Coffee]

An Eversor needs to know what its target looks like, plus finding her could be "tricky" at best.

"If it walks on four legs, looks horse like, and/or is talking horse xeno terminate with extreme prejudice." What the fuck is hard about that?

Also the matter of getting a ship in to the planet to drop the assassin off might be probmatic as well.

Baring Soup going full retard and wanking up the ponies to the point of absurdity, I don't see any reason why.

A Deathwatch team would be too outnumbered and outpowered to work.

Again, barring extreme pony wanking I'm not seeing how this is a problem. They're fucking space marines that specialize in dealing with overpowered xenos threats and have access to ships that are basically designed to move in undetected and kill fuck mcmurder entire planets.

Exterminatus..... as many worlds in the Eye (and similar places) are largely unnaffected by viral bombs and similar due to the time/space/reality bending mechanics of the place it has never been done as its just not a good thing to give the powers of the Warp ideas. The last thing you want them to do is start "experimenting" with a Warp based Exterminatus effect on Cadia.....

And despite any of that bullshit the Inquisition engages in exterminatus quite often. Also, who said virus bombs are their only option? That's just one of the many flavors of executing exterminatus they have available to them. And again, baring Celesta being wanked to 11, eventually the Imperium can and will bring enough force to bear that Equestria is going to get gang raped by a pack of Catholic Space Nazis.

[Purple]

Assassins are strait out of the question here for continuity reasons. In order to get one sent you need authorization from the High Lords of Terra. And somehow I don't think sup would have his text pause for a few centuries so that the imperial bureaucracy can get around to sending some. So while they might happen some day it probably won't fit in the scope of this text.

As for the whole match up it is not as one sided as you think Coffee. Considering Celestia is a girl who raises the sun and the moon routinely implying that at the very least she can manipulate masses in the range of 1030kg she probably could take anything the imperium can dish out and than some. After all, she can just pick up 1030kg worth of starships and throw them into said sun. Worse yet, she has a little sister whose powers are at least in the 1022kg range and who has been shown in the past to be not as benevolent as her. I am not sure just how much wank he actually needs to apply at all. In fact, it only takes big C doing one thing out of character (or not so out of character when you consider she banished her own flesh and blood to the moon for a millennia) or her letting lil L loose on the puny humans to really ruin the imperiums day. And even without outright violence considering what she does each day and the fact that she has demonstrated the ability to teleport she could probably just move the entire star system to safety.

The two are a formidable force on their own. And I think that when you look at it Equestria is pretty much like a country that maintains no army becouse they believe their defense is secured by owning a shit load of nukes.

Ironically thou it is Celestia's good heart that might prove their downfall. The more she tries to threaten and muscle her way to try and scare off the humans without hurting them the more she will just provoke them. And knowing her I wonder how many innocent ponies will have to suffer and die before she draws a line and just genocides half of the human race.

[Mr. Coffee]

That's what I'm talking about wanking shit up, Purple.

She controls the sun, no where is it written, said, or shown that she literally picks it up and moves it, or that that control extends to every fucking things else. Obviously she's not all powerful and all knowing, otherwise her sister escaping from the center of the fucking moon wouldn't have been much of a threat, and she wouldn't have needed the McGuffin to end that threat. Also, I love how you assume she can "genocide half the human race" yet deny that the Imperium has the means to genocide the fuck out of Equestria.

Nevermind that it's fucking retarded, it's just makes for piss poor story telling and a very predictable and incredibly boring plot.

[dworkin]

Don't count out the the brave targets and victims of the Imperial Guard yet. They have that time honoured tactic of dying in such numbers that the pile of bodies collapses and smothers the enemy.

[Purple]

That's what I'm talking about wanking shit up, Purple.

How does taking demonstrated capability and applying it to a problem count as wanking?

She controls the sun, no where is it written, said, or shown that she literally picks it up and moves it, or that that control extends to every fucking things else.

Well the only other way I can think of that she could induce day is to control the planets own rotation. I guess that since that is a much more reasonable assumption we could use that as a low value. But even going with that it's no small feat.

Obviously she's not all powerful and all knowing, otherwise her sister escaping from the center of the fucking moon wouldn't have been much of a threat, and she wouldn't have needed the McGuffin to end that threat.

All knowing was newer stated, that is just you making stuff up. But that is understandable since you like most of us probably stem from a society bombarded with judeo-christian propaganda that connects the two. All powerful, again no one said that.

But perhaps we should move this to some other thread, maybe in fantasy and do an analysis of the capabilities demonstrated in the series?

Also, I love how you assume she can "genocide half the human race" yet deny that the Imperium has the means to genocide the fuck out of Equestria.

It's called a hyperbole. Learn it, live with it.

[Mr. Coffee]

How does taking demonstrated capability and applying it to a problem count as wanking?

Uh, where exactly is it actually demonstrated that Celesta can actually move a star.

Well the only other way I can think of that she could induce day is to control the planets own rotation. I guess that since that is a much more reasonable assumption we could use that as a low value. But even going with that it's no small feat.

Where is she shown to have moved a planet for that matter?

All knowing was newer stated, that is just you making stuff up. But that is understandable since you like most of us probably stem from a society bombarded with judeo-christian propaganda that connects the two. All powerful, again no one said that.

Hey, you're the one claiming she can move planets and stars and shit.

Also, I love how you assume she can "genocide half the human race" yet deny that the Imperium has the means to genocide the fuck out of Equestria.

It's called a hyperbole. Learn it, live with it.

[/quote]

Ok, then until you can show otherwise, we'll just assume that Celesta supposedly being able to physically alter the motion of planets and stars is fucking hyperbole as well.

Now kindly shut the fuck up already,you bronie wanking asstard.

[Purple]

Where is she shown to have moved a planet for that matter?

Tell me how is she supposed to induce day without doing so.

Hey, you're the one claiming she can move planets and stars and shit.

Again, describe to me how she can make it day and make the sun rise without rotating the planet. And since you will be going against what is said in the show it is up to you to provide evidence for your thesis.

Ok, then until you can show otherwise, we'll just assume that Celesta supposedly being able to physically alter the motion of planets and stars is fucking hyperbole as well.

For the third time, present something other than "oh no! NO! It can't be!"

[evilsoup]

Well now. In the first episode Nightmare Moon prevents the sun from rising. Near the end of the second episode, after Nightmare Moon is defeated, the sun rises from below the horizon to late-morning position in around three seconds (does anyone know what effect such a rapid sunrise should have, if any?), and the intention is obviously for Celestia to be responsible. Furthermore, in Cutie Mark Chronicles, we get to see Celestia raising the sun in a Summer Sun Celebration (here).

Magic in the show seems to revolve around a few core areas: telekinesis, transmutation (which seems to require active concentration to upkeep), and teleportation. The only thing close to an 'enchantment' is when Twilight creates some nifty temporary wings for Rarity (which don't require concentration, unlike a regular transmutation), but I don't think that is relevant to the discussion. Assuming that Celestia's magic is fundamentally the same as other unicorns' (and the opening of the pilot does explicitly state that she raises the sun using 'unicorn magic'), that would mean either telekinesis or teleportation. Either of these would be impressive, but as we see the sun moving through the sky, I'll have to go with telekinesis.

As far as I can tell, there are three explanations:

1. She rotates the planet: this is the lowest-power interpretation.

2. She moves the sun, but it's not a proper star, it's actually an extremely bright moon. If this were the case, then the moon (the regular one) wouldn't have any light to reflect ... but, then again, magic. I'll tell you right here that this one isn't the case for my particular story.

3. She moves the sun, it's the same size as our sun.

HOWEVER, even at the most powerful level this doesn't make Celestia anything close to omnipotent or unassailable. Lifting one really heavy thing (the sun) isn't the same as fifty or a hundred little things (warships). Furthermore, I haven't revealed how she intercepted the Divine Might of Right, so there is no way of knowing if she could detect every single ship heading towards Equestria: and it would only take a single Inquisitorial ship with a cyclonic torpedo to get through. Furthermore, her presence is probably necessary to keep Equestria ticking over, so that would limit her ability to 'genocide half of humanity' (as if she'd be psychologically capable of such a thing).

Oh, and Purple I think that an analysis thread in Fantasy would be a great (and hilarious) idea.

[Mr. Coffee]

Purple, you're a cunt, please shut the fuck up. Soup, thanks for doing what I asked cocksuck there to produce. Still, the way you presented her kind of reeks of wanking.

[LadyTevar]

Coffee, stop ruining the story for the rest of us. Take it elsewhere.

[Mr. Coffee]

WHo's ruining anything? I'm digging the story, I'm just saying some of it comes off as wankish.

I guess criticism is "ruining the story"...

[LadyTevar]

Story threads shouldn't be flamefests, Coffee. If you're really annoyed by it, start another thread where you can really let your feelings be known.

[Mr. Coffee]

Story threads shouldn't be flamefests, Coffee. If you're really annoyed by it, start another thread where you can really let your feelings be known.

Lady T, I'm not flaming. You'd think by now you guys would be able to tell when I'm flaming someone or not.

[lordofchange13]

Is this Crossover closed ? or IS there a new chapter in production? I'm really interested to see this story to come to fruition.

[Purple]

I second that. This box is getting all square from the wait.

[evilsoup]

Yeah, sorry for the delay. The next chapter is mostly written (longhand, in my notebook), but I don't have access to a computer to type it up right now. I'm writing this on a public library computer, and I just can't bring myself to type up a MLP fanfiction on a public machine. But I will be getting a cheapy-cheapo netbook soon, and then I'll put the next chapter up. It shouldn't be too long.

[Darksider]

I hate not having a computer. You have my sympathies.

What happened to your desktop?

[lordofchange13]

Will the imperials actually land in force for this chapter? I really want to see how ponies will react to a military attack!

[Rogue 9]

Will the imperials actually land in force for this chapter? ! really want to see how ponies will react to a military attack!

Most likely by dying horribly.

[Night_stalker]

And trying to run, but failing horribly.

After all, there is no point in running from a Imperial Guard force. You'll just die tired.

[Lexie_Sapphire]

Hello everypony; brony from out-of-board here. I only really made this account to applaud evilsoup for his/her work thus far, and to let him/her know that I shall be checking up on this board in future to see if there are any further developments. I truly hope that there are, because I would not only like to see the denouement of this particular tale, but also a possible sequel featuring the Adeptus Astartes. I've never had much of a taste for the Imperial Guard and their colossal disregard of human life; the Emperor's Space Marines may be unforgiving dispensers of death, but at least they go about it with honour and self-respect.

And to the highly interesting Mr. Coffee: I applaud you as well, for your ability to enjoy a story featuring My Little Ponies despite your prejudices towards them. And as to whether the story comes off as 'wanky' - unjustifiable gratification probably IS taking place, but it can hardly be masturbatory in nature when more than one individual is participating.

tl;dr - omg evilsoup SO AWSUM ^3^ moar soon plz kthxbai

[evilsoup]

Chapter 5 - Here They Be

The Cloudsdale town hall was almost packed with pegasi and griffons; some standing, some hovering in the air; the only free space was the conspicuously-empty raised stage at the front of the room. The low murmur of rumour permeated the air.

Rainbow Dash was standing very near the front of the hall, bunched up with the rest of Spitfire's team. She glanced backwards, could pick out a few familiar figures (the Wonderbolts, of course; and other famous fliers, and some other competitors from the Best Young Flyers competition). Everypony was in the group they had been training with, and the griffons (around a quarter of the crowd) were mostly in their own groups; the bulk of them had arrived the day before, ready just in time for princess Celestia's scheduled announcement.

"Hm." - Spitfire's voice pulled Rainbow Dash's attention away from the crowd; the Wonderbolt was looking, head tilted, at the empty stage; "I wonder what's keeping her..."

"Aw, I'm sure she has a good reason, Spitfire."

Spitfire turned to look at Rainbow Dash, paused for a second, nodded.

"Yeah, I'm sure you're right. Anyway, where were we?"

One of the other team-members spoke up: "Uh, you were telling us about the, uh, guns again."

"Oh! Right, so these guns, they're kind of tubes that shoot lightning, okay? Except the lightning doesn't go to ground, it travels in a straight line. What I've been told is that these guns on their ... flying ships are all facing forward, so you should make sure you get in plenty of movement parallel to them if you end up in front of one, and try not to stay in front for any more than a second or so. Got it? Just drop your cloud and get out of the way..."

"Ah- Rainbow Dash?" - a familiar voice; Rainbow Dash spun around to see her old friend Gilda standing there, obviously uncomfortable.

"Oh. Hi, Gilda."

"Yeah, Rainbow Dash, I- uh." - She scratched the ground, obviously embarrassed; "Uhn ... I wanted to apologise. For the way I acted when I was in Ponyville."

Rainbow Dash took a step backwards, tilted her head slightly, nearly laughed.

"Apologise? Gilda, since when do you apologise for anything?"

Gilda looked straight into Rainbow Dash's eyes, an unfamiliar look painted across the griffon's face.

"Since ... you know, since all this, I mean ... I don't want to leave things like- look, are you gonna accept my apology, or what?"

Is she ... scared..?

"Uh, yeah. Of course."

Neither of them spoke for a few seconds (though it felt like longer). Rainbow Dash could feel the whole team looking at her, but she couldn't think of anything to say, and Gilda was scratching the ground awkwardly. Then Spitfire spoke up, breaking the awkward moment:

"Hey, Rainbow Dash, aren't you going to introduce your friend?"

"Oh! Right! Everypony, this is Gilda, a friend of mine since forever," - Gilda smiled a little, raised her head; "Gilda, this is Spitfire - the leader of the Wonderbolts. And this ... is ..." - a bright white flash and it's accompanying sizzling sound interrupted, and Celestia appeared on stage.

----

"But sis, it'd be more, ah, e-fish-ant."

Applejack tipped a load of apples into the cart, looked at her sister askance.

"Ah-what-now?"

"Uhn!" - Apple bloom stamped her front-right hoof - "C'mon, Applejack, you know what ah mean! We could have loads'a more apples down every day if you'd just let me put up this zipline system!"

Applejack narrowed her gaze; oh, so that's what she's so excited about.

"A ziplahn system."

"Yup! An' we'd put the baskets'a apples on the zipline'n they'd slide on down to th' barn!"

"Apple Bloom." Applejack sighed and walked over to another basket; "Not all the trees are uphill from the barn, and besides, alla the apples'd get bruised goin' on a zipline." She started pushing the next basket towards the cart.

"Well, ah - ah guess ah'm not explainin' it right: it wouldn't be an actual zipline, it'd have ... what're they called ... pullers, 'n' little wheels'n stuff - oh! And maybe it could be powered by a water-wheel in the river!"

"Uh-huh."

"Is that a yes!?"

The basket was next to the cart now. Applejack braced herself against it and started pushing it up.

"Nope. Even if ya could get alla that t'work, ah reckon it wouldn't be done in time t'help any with this harvest," with a grunt, she got her front hooves under the bottom of the basket; "And it sounds like you'd need an awful lotta rope and timber and Celestia-knows-what else - and that stuff don't grow on trees."

Applejack tipped the apples on top of the cart, took two steps back and appraised it, nodded silently to herself.

"But, sis, timber does grow on-"

"It's a figure'a speech, Apple Bloom, it means that it'd be mighty expensive. Now, get haulin' that cart down to the barn and then go find Big Macintosh."

----

"Mm-mh!" - Pinkie Pie had her nose about an inch from the freshly-baked cakes, licked her lips; "Pinkie Pie, you've done it again!"

She opened her mouth so wide that on any other pony it would have been a sign of serious injury. She was about to take a bite when a rasping little voice interrupted:

"Um, Pinkie Pie, I don't think we're thuppothed to eat them..."

Pinkie's mouth slammed shut, she turned her whole body to look at Twist.

"What're you, the cake police?"

Twist took a step backwards, tilted her head back, unsure of what to say.

"I-I'm thorry, Pinkie-"

"Aw, don't worry 'bout it!" - Pikie was all smiles now, trotting across the kitchen to look at the mixing bowl Twist was using; "How's all this going, anyways?"

"Oh," Twist, still unused to Pinkie's rapid mood changes, moved nervously towards the bowl; got up on the stool and put her front hooves on the table: "It'th going thwimmingly, the mix ith nearly ready to go in the oven!"

With her mouth Pinkie gripped the wooden spoon, swirled it around and pulled it up; a clump of dough stuck to the spoon for a few moments and then fell into the bowl with a light thud. She put the spoon back and nodded happily.

"It seems really good, Twist! Maybe the best I've ever seen!"

"R-really!?"

Pinkie pondered this for a moment, tapping her jaw with her hoof.

"Well, no. But it does look really good. I can see why Mrs. Cake wants you to help out!"

----

"But, sis... there's ponies all around here!"

Rarity sighed - oh dear, her grammar has really gone downhill lately; forced a smile on her face and fixed her sister with a benevolent gaze.

"Sweetie Belle, I believe you mean that there are many ponies in the town square this afternoon, not that there ... is ponies 'all around here'; and that is rather the point of this little exercise."

"But-"

"Yes?"

Sweetie Belle scratched the ground, looked down, ears lowered.

"I..."

"What is it, Sweetie Belle?"

Sweetie Belle could feel a lump growing in her throat. She glanced nervously around the town square, looked into her sister's uncomprehending face, spoke quietly (almost to the point of a whisper):

"Sis, I can't sing in front of all of these ponies!"

Rarity rolled her eyes, took a step closer.

"Sweetie, darling, you have a simply fabulous singing voice; but you must get over this problem of performing in public. What exactly are you so afraid of?"

Sweetie Belle opened her mouth to speak, closed it again, took a few moments to think.

"What if ... what if they don't like my singing? What if they hate it? What if they hate me!? I mean-"

"Don't say such things!" - the defensive anger in Rarity's voice shocked her sister; "Sweetie, everypony will love your singing. And if anypony didn't - well, they'd have me to answer to! Now, come on, you need to get plenty of practice in for your school recital!"

Sweetie Belle lowered her head a little.

"I just ... can't. Sorry, sis."

Rarity shook her head; How did this get so bad..? She took another two steps towards her little sister, placed a hoof under Sweetie Belle's chin.

"Sweetie, always - always hold your head up high! Look in to my eyes. Good. Now, repeat after me: I, Sweetie Belle, have a fantastic voice; and I'm not afraid of anypony. Say it!"

"I-" she stammered; "I have a fantastic voice a-and I-I'm not afraid of anypony."

"Say it again, but louder this time."

"I have a fantastic voice," - Sweetie Belle could feel confidence building in her heart, as though by magic; "and I'm not afraid of anypony!"

Rarity removed her hoof, smiled and nodded.

"One more ti-"

"I have a fantastic voice," (a wide smile had spread across her face, her tail raised, ears pricked; in this moment she could do anything) "and I'm not afraid of anypony!"

"There, doesn't that feel better? Now - don't think about it; just sing."

Sweetie Belle nodded, closed her eyes, breathed in deeply, and began to sing.

----

Twilight Sparkle was standing with some unicorns from Celestia's school, waiting for princess Luna to arrive. The past two days had been a strange experience - when she had been living as Celestia's student in Canterlot, Twilight had always been too shy to make friends, always hiding behind the excuse of her studies; but now that she was open to talking to the other unicorns, most of them seemed intimidated by her as Luna's student.

Luna had left her here two days ago, flying away for what she would only describe as 'important business'. The little encampment was about halfway between Canterlot and Ponyville latitudinally, but quite a way east - a desolate, sparcely-populated scrubland in the middle of nowhere; too cold and exposed for anypony to want to live on, but perfect for Celestia's plan.

Twilight peered into the crowd, trying to spot Spike; about an hour ago he had started looking for Moondancer, the pony who had been second in Twilight's year at Celestia's school, and who had made the most concerted effort to break Twilight out of her shell. A few unicorns Twilight knew were not present, and Moondancer's absence was the most puzzling.

"Hullo there, Twilight Sparkle." - she recognised the voice (old and male, with an unusual croaky breathlessness) and turned to see one of the teachers from the school (small, grey; mane brown with a streak of white, cutie mark a book behind a lamp).

"Oh! Hello, Mr. Bookbright."

"Ehehe," he half-croaked half-laughed; "It's been a while since magic kindergarden; please, my dear, call me Bookbright."

"Oh! Yes, sir-" - she smiled, mentally correcting herself; "I mean: yes. Bookbright."

"Eheh, just so. Just so. I was very impressed with that display this morning. With the apples, I mean."

One of the other teachers from Celestia's school had thought to test Twilight's abilities that morning: she had hidden three dozen apples in the southern side of the encampment, challenged Twilight to remove the pips from all of them. Not only had Twilight succeeded, but afterwards she was able to point out where each of the apples was hidden.

"Thanks." She said, nodding.

"So, eh- ehem, so what are you doing standing around here?"

"Well, Spike's out looking for Moondancer - do you remember her?" - he nodded; "Well, she was always one of the more talented unicorns in class, so I'm surprised she's not here- oh, there's Spike! Spike ... SPIKE! Over here!"

"Ehehe, Moondancer; yes, I remember her. Lovely young lady. You won't find her here; special mission for princess Celestia, I believe."

"Really?" - Twilight noticed the hurt, jealous sound in her voice; coughed and tried to hide it: "What kind of mission?"

"Oh, something above my pay-grade, m'dear; I don't know the exact details, but it's something to do with the, eh - ehem, human space-ship; the big one. Oh, and here comes your dragon friend - hullo there, ehem, Spike!"

Spike slowed his pace slightly, raised a hand.

"Uh, hey, um..." - he looked to Twilight desperately.

"Oh, Spike, this is Mr. - ah, haha, sorry; this is Bookbright, one of the teachers from Celestia's school. He was just telling me that Moondancer is away on some kind of special mission for princess Celestia."

Spike scratched his head.

"Really..." - he crossed his arms, raised an eyebrow; "You know, it would have been nice to know that before I spent an hour trying to find her!"

"Spike!" - Twilight stamped her front-right hoof; "Don't be so rude! I'm sorry, Bookbright-"

"Oh, eheh; no problem, I suppose you must be tired after all your travelling, little dragon."

Spike thought for a second, looked at Twilight (who was glaring at him), sighed.

"Maybe you're right. Sorry for- uch!"

Twilight looked askance at him. Something about Spike clutching his throat prompted Bookbright.

"Eheh, yes that was the reason I had to come over to talk to you, Twilight Sparkle." - Spike fell to all fours, coughing green fire, but Bookbright somehow managed to stay oblivious; "I was told to inform you that you have been assigned to team one, concentrating on destroying the engines at the rear of the human flying ships, before moving on to..."

Twilight ignored the old pony's talk, inched cautiously towards Spike; he coughed more green fire - smoke was everywhere, circling them. Several unicorns had turned to look at them.

"Spike, are you-" - the dragon coughed one final time, and all the smoke swirled together to form a large cutting of tree bark. There was scratchy writing in charcoal on the inside curve; it was like a scruffier version of princess Celestia's elaborate cursive. Grumbling and holding his belly, Spike got up off the ground and brushed himself off. Twilight levitated the bark in front of her, the better to read it.

"What," asked Bookbright; "is that?"

Twilight glanced at him, smiled.

"It's a letter from princess Luna. Let's see...
To my student, Twilight Sparkle;
You know, this is the first letter I've written in a thousand years? I'm so out of practice, sorry for the scruffy writing. I also apologise to Spike for having to pass such a large message, but there isn't much paper available in the Everfree forest (as I believe it's called now - I remember it as the Princess forest).
I shall be returning to the encampment by tonight. My business here was more successful than I anticipated, so I shall be bringing a few friends along - make sure that all my little ponies know this, so they won't be panicked. Look to the air, and to the west. I'll see you soon.
Princess Luna."

----

Grimmus looked around at the strange creatures filling the white hall; all different colours, and smaller than this one. His forearms were tied together with a soft but strong rope; his legs were tied together above the knee. He was on his knees. A while ago - when he was being tied up - his mouth had returned to normal; but he didn't want to speak out: I'll need any information I can gather...

Celestia flared her wings and looked around the room. Everyone was completely silent. She took a step forward, folded her wings, and began to speak.

"Hello, everyone. You all know the situation. I have just returned from the human space-ship, where I have tried to make peace. I was ... not successful. You may have noticed that I have their leader," she nodded to Grimmus and a thousand pairs of eyes shifted to look at him (he saw a mixture of expressions in the crowd - nervousness, curiosity, bravado - but only a handful of fearful gazes; bravery, or ignorance?); "But that will not stop them for long. I am sorry..."

Celestia closed her eyes, cleared her throat. Grimmus looked at her out of the corner of his eye; she looks worried, he thought. His upper lip curled into a snarl; she should be terrified. Alien bitch, I'll give you a death stretching over months for that stunt on the ship! Celestia breathed out once through her nose, continued with the speech.

"It has been so long since we have had a war." - she opened her eyes, looking around at the assembled pegasi and griffons; Rainbow Dash instinctively held her head a little higher as Celestia's gaze passed over her; "So long that only a few of you will have studied any detail. Many of you might hesitate in doing what must be done, so I will have to make this clear: these humans are here to kill us all. They have been abused and lied to all their lives by leaders like our guest here, and now they believe that they have to kill us - all of us! Sisters, brothers, parents, friends: all gone, murdered and burned to ashes and blown away."

Celestia paused to let her words sink in. Rainbow Dash thought of her friends back in Ponyville and images flashed though her mind: Pinkie Pie lying in a red puddle, her face obscured by shadow; the trees of Sweetapple Acres ablaze, Applejack's hat caught on a branch; yellow feathers scattered around the entrance of a burned-out husk of the Carousel boutique; flies buzzing around rubble, a purple hoof just visible. She shuddered, glanced at Spitfire; the Wonderbolt's jaw was set, her face as a mask of determination. Rainbow Dash looked at Gilda; the griffon was staring right at her, the flicker of fear Rainbow Dash had recognised earlier now a mask of terror. Their eyes locked; Rainbow Dash smiled faintly.

Ignorance, then, thought Grimmus with more than a little satisfaction; These abominations have no martial tradition! No memory of war, no sustaining hatred ... maybe I can use this to my advantage...

"I wish I could tell you that they are simply monsters, that they live only to kill, but the truth is so much worse than that. The truth is that they think and they feel, just as we do; they have friends and family, just as we do. But from birth they have been taught to hate; their whole society is built around crushing brutality, and so they think that they have to kill us. You should pity them, oh yes - but you must not hesitate! You will have to kill before this is over, and it will be natural to hesitate - but to do so will mean death! For you, for your team-mates, for the world! I wish I did not have to ask this of you - war is a horrible thing: but remember that they have brought war to-"

"Liar!" - it was Grimmus, his shout designed for equal parts desperation and frustration; "We are here on a peaceful mission of contact, but you abducted me! Return me to my ship and we'll leave at once!"

Celestia laughed mirthlessly, glared at Grimmus (he reciprocated).

"You really are an insidious little man, aren't you Inquisitor?" - she looked out at the crowd again: one or two were looking doubtful, but the vast bulk of the crowd were clearly on her side - "You see what I mean, when I say that they are led by liars? Do not listen to him. His army will be here soon; he is just trying to distract you, hoping to make you hesitate when the time comes-"

"They will come looking for me, but there will be no invasion! Please, bring me back to my ship before there is any-" - with a flash of light he disappeared. Celestia snorted. There was a low murmur from the crowd.

"Maybe..." - Gilda spoke, almost under her breath; "...what if he's telling the truth?"

Rainbow Dash looked at Gilda, shocked. "What? C'mon, G, this is princess Celestia you're talking about!"

"But what if she's wrong?"

"She wouldn't make a mistake like that!"

"But what if she did make a mistake, Rainbow Dash?"

"What- but- I-"

"Ah, Gilda?" - it was Spitfire - "If the princess is wrong, then we'll lose a couple of days. But if that human is lying ... I mean, you heard what the princess said, right? And what's more likely - that the princess made that up, or that this human's trying to spread discord?"

----

"...so, ya see, we'd put the apple baskets on the line, 'n' they'd get pulled along to the barn'n it'd be much more, uh ... e-fish-ant!"

"...hmm..."

"So - what do you think?"

"Expensive."

"Yeah, that's what Applejack said - but it'd save us money, in the long run!"

"The princess wants all these apples on the road by tomorrow morning, so we don't have the time right now to build anything like that."

"But - maybe later!?"

"Mm. I'll tell you hwut. When we've got this shipment out, you draw up some plans'n then I'll talk it over with AJ and Granny Smith."

"Oh - gee, thanks Big Macintosh!"

"No promises, now. Now take that-" - Big Macintosh squinted at something in the air to the west, coming from the Everfree forest; "What in tarnation..?"

Apple Bloom turned to see what her big brother was looking at: huge things, each bigger than a house, and heading rapidly towards them. She tried to count them in the sky, and to make out some detail; but it was hard when they were moving so fast. In a few seconds they were overhead, casting building-sized shadows over the orchards of Sweetapple Acres, heading in the direction of Ponyville.

----

"Well. Um. What did Rainbow Dash tell you to do?"

"Oh she was getting me to jump - here, I'll show you!"

Scootaloo crouched down, tension building in her legs, then jumped up as high as she could; flapping her little wings as hard as possible, she hovered in place for nearly a second before tilting off balance and falling flat on her back. Scootaloo was back on her hooves in no time, dusting herself off and looking expectantly at Fluttershy.

"Oh. And ... how many times have you tried that?"

"Um ... I- I don't know, I lost count at around sixty..."

"I see." - Fluttershy turned and started walking to the town square again, Scootaloo trotting to keep up; "Well, how about we try something different-"

"But! I'm getting better at it, and Rainbow Dash said I should keep practising!"

"Scootaloo, you may not believe this, but when I was your age I wasn't a very confident flyer. Now, that meant that I got taught all sorts of exercises and little tricks ... I, uh ... I think you should try something different."

"Well, gee, I dunno; I mean, Rainbow Dash said-"

"I'm sure she did, but she also asked me to help you out while she was away. I, um - I really think you'll enjoy what I have in mind."

"Well, I guess..." - she smiled suddenly, looked up at Fluttershy; "What've ya got in mind!?"

"It's this way..."

As the pair walked through the gap between two houses, they could hear a beautiful young voice spilling out from the town square. They started walking a little faster - Fluttershy with her eyes closed, following the sound; Scootaloo's eyes held wide open with recognition.

"Hush now, dry your eyes,
It's not so bad, it's not so bad.
Hush now, it's all okay,
Oh don't be shy, oh-"

"Sweetie Belle!" - Scootaloo broke into a gallop, raced towards her friend. Fluttershy opened her eyes, took off from the ground and glided after.

Sweetie Belle blinked twice, smiled.

"Hi, Scootaloo!"

Scootaloo came to a stop about a foot from Sweetie Belle, little wings flared open (Rarity suppressed a scowl; well, there goes the rest of the day, she thought).

"Your singing - that was amazing!"

"Oh! Thanks. I'm practicing for the school recital. Hello, Fluttershy."

Fluttershy came to a graceful landing.

"Hello, Sweetie Belle. Hello, Rarity."

Rarity took a step forwards

"Good afternoon, Fluttershy; I take it you're here with my sister's friend?"

Fluttershy raised her front-right hoof, nodded.

"Yes. Rainbow Dash asked me to fill in for her with Scootaloo's flying lessons and - well, we're going to use that ramp..." - she pointed to a recently-constructed wooden ramp on the other side of the town square, which was in front of a large sand-pit; then she lowered her head down to the little fillies' level: "...but when we heard your singing, I think we both had to come over and congratulate you on such a beautif-"

"Hey, Scootaloo, is that true? Are you gonna jump off that ramp!? Can I watch?" - she turned to Rarity; "Hey, sis, can I take a break to watch Scootaloo?"

Rarity didn't answer; she was staring at the sky, mouth wide open. The others followed the line of her gaze: Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle sat down, amazed at what they could see; Fluttershy began to shiver, sunk low to the ground. Other ponies in the town square began to notice; a few screams rang out as the large shadows played over houses.

With princess Luna at their head, a dozen dragons were heading east.

[evilsoup]

Argh, a maximum of 5 URLs in a signature? Is that a board-software-limitations thing, or who should I contact to try for an exception on that?

Sorry this took so long to get up, but obviously RL comes before a MLP fanfic. Thanks for all the comments, though - without having my ego stroked periodically, I'd probably get bored and forget about this story.

I hate not having a computer. You have my sympathies.

What happened to your desktop?

Nothing, this was an entirely self-inflicted wound; I moved and didn't plan around not having a computer.

the way you presented her [Celestia] kind of reeks of wanking.

Two things:
1) I don't think 'Imperials come and murderise the happy little ponies' would be a very interesting story;
2) I suspect that most children's cartoons featuring magic would come across as wankishly powerful if you tried to quantify them, due to the way such programs treat magic.

counter-oppress.

Still waiting on that, btw.

[Connor MacLeod]

Two things:
1) I don't think 'Imperials come and murderise the happy little ponies' would be a very interesting story;
2) I suspect that most children's cartoons featuring magic would come across as wankishly powerful if you tried to quantify them, due to the way such programs treat magic.

I read that discussion.. Coffee has a point. It's going to depend entirely on how you envision the cosmology happening (What if Equestira is an artifically constructed enviroment? how do you know that their sun is anything like ours? And before you answer, remember I just said "artificially constructed enviroment" - moreover if you're going to do a crossover with 40K, things become alot more complicated because you introduce additional factors.)

If you handle things right you can pull off a balanced crossover without having to resort to having ponies that can chuck around stellar masses, because as Coffee said, the implications of that are way too one sided.

Edit: you want to complicate things? I looked at the bit with the sun. It's a bit hard to scale from a youtube clip, but I figure that between 18:53 and 18:57 it crosses two stellar diameters. If it's like our son, that means it had to cross 2.8 million km.. in 4 seconds. Or about 700,000 km/s. What's more is I'm sure that is only the average velocity, the speed isn't constant (I origianlyl estimated 1 stellar diameter in a second.. which is 1,500,000 km/s.... you get the idea.) In any case this clearly introduces some serious problems. But even if it was brute force/sublight stuff, they'd have to accelerate the star uniformly for it to stay intact or not deform (and I'm going to ignore how the thing can apparently change velocity or stop...). That means you can affect a volume at least of 1500000 km diameter, and it can be accelerated (instantly) to near-lightspeed velocities (which is not trivial). What's more it can be rapidly and precisely controlled over tens of millions of km (to be precise, one AU at least, or 150,000,000 km.)

Frankly with that kind of ability Celestia should be destroying entire fleets en-masse with kinetically flung projectiles from an AU out. A 5 meter diameter iron astroid at close to the speed of light (about .99c ) should pack around 3e23 J of KE. That should be MORE than enough to damage, if not destroy a 40K starship, and Celestia could control entire hordes of those accurately out to that same AU, they would be far more manuverable, and accurate, than any starship.

Or if she doesn't want to hurt people? She can simply accelerate them to godawful huge fractions of lightspeed (and keep accelerating them) and hurl them out of the system.

[Mr. Coffee]

the way you presented her [Celestia] kind of reeks of wanking.

Two things:
1) I don't think 'Imperials come and murderise the happy little ponies' would be a very interesting story;
2) I suspect that most children's cartoons featuring magic would come across as wankishly powerful if you tried to quantify them, due to the way such programs treat magic.

I agree with you that having the Imperials just waltz in and slaughtering every thing would be massively lame. I also agree with you that having children's cartoon representations of magic and whatnot are also completely retarded. My arguments were mostly about that particular chapter and that if things continued that way that the ponies really would be wankish. Then I got sidetracked with arguing with Bronies, but my main point is that I hope you're not going to make the rest of the story having the ponies that wankish. I say that tempered with me also saying that I don't want the imperium being wankish either. Biggest point being, write some more fucking story, you lazy git.