Now why would they just open fire ...
AH! They detected the warp engine - or "space distortion drive" - and mistook them for Borg!
Arrogant Feddies. Probably be very embarrassed in the afterlife - the first humans in a couple of centuries to be killed by a depleted uranium penetrator. Right up there with General Sedgwick.
Close, the reason for the shot will be explained in the next chapter. However you are correct that Warp drive = Spacial distortion drive and that it does very little to endear itself to the Senwa.
Does Minya enter into their theology? God of irritation? lol
Anyway, awesome so far! Get those Feddies to remove their heads from their asses with relativistic face-rape!
Constructive criticism: Dialogue generally constitutes a separate paragraph, so be sure to separate dialogue from normal narrative, it cleans up the page and makes following both narrative and dialogue much easier.
Try to say the lines as you write dialogue, it helps you to sniff out where to put a comma and helps to prevent clunky or run on sentences.
If you're interested, I have come across a mass calculator for cylinders of varying size (length, width) and 30 different substances, it would make calculating projectile mass much less time consuming.
Minya the Ever Learning, is the representation/guardian for children in the Senwa faith. He is clumsy and fails often but is always determined to know more and become better than he is. Yes he is still the son of Gojira but I have taken out some of the stupid in making the Kaiju-deity version.
I am grateful for the constructive criticism takemeout_totheblack I will try the new formatting style on the next fresh chapter, ch.5. Chapter 3 is being posted right now and 4 is completed but I will use your second piece of advice on it before I post it within the week.
As for the calculator please send it to me either post it here, PM me, or E-mail it to me. It would be much appreciated. I have the mass calcs for the naval weapons but this should help for the small craft (ie shuttlecraft and fighters), tanks and other armored vehicles, and personal small arms.
It's already coming across as a 'hur hur look at da stoopid feds go down' wankfic already, unfortunately, at least IMHO.. I'd hope you have it balanced in some way, unless you're bent on the opposite route.
I don't intend for this to become a wankfic and yes I do have plans for some balance especially from the main TNG cast. Part of the point of the fic is that the arrogance and self righteousness of early TNG was so overwhelming especially technologically and moralistically that I believe the federation needed a kind of mirror from the past to hold against itself. Yes the Senwa are an alien culture, but they take the technological and societal concepts from earlier eras and developed to their logical conclusions. This is the mirror I want to show them a society that they would view as primitive able to hold it's own not only against them but against foes that the federation can only hope to stand against. A view of how far they have truly come... or rather how far they haven't.
I'm more surprised that the Bonchune had a crew with fast enough reflexes to raise it's shields in time for a 0.3c weapon to hit them, especially when they thought that their navigational deflectors would be sufficient (probably saw the fact that it was moving at 0.3c and realized that would hurt) how far away was the Senwa ship?
Also I was under the impression that federation ships could use radio waves if necessary for communications.
Also, I'm more hoping this would be something like the Earth/Minbari War, that is a war based on a misunderstanding (which is what it appears to be), after which have the ST equivalent of the Babylon project to prevent another one.
This is part of the "Not everyone in starfleet is an incompetent moron" thing I am hoping to get across. Yes there will be quite a few arrogant overconfident bastards but not necessarily completely stupid. In this case as it will be revealed in a later chapter.
The officer in charge of the shields spotted the incoming and started to put the shields up without the captain's orders.
While a No No for starfleet I would tend to think that a modern navy would award such forward thinking even if it was posthumously.
As for the distance they were about a light second apart giving almost 3 seconds before impact, counting in human reacton and decision time it is not that long.
As for the radio waves, IIRC there was an episode in voyager that showed that starfleet ships don't usually monitor those frequencies normally. If memory serves it is the same one where Torres can't identify shit (specifically manure) with a tricorder. Also the Senwa don't use radio waves unless they are in very close proximity like within a planetary diameter or for ship to planet comms.
With the B5 idea all I have to say is... Oooo Plot Ideas ME Like ME Like. Yes, I do want to have any conflict between the Senwa and the feddies to be some what accidental or at least not intentional. Remember there are no true bad guys except for the Borg whom shall be treated as they should be. *Cocks a rail weapon loaded with flechette rounds* Space Zombies gotta die *Blam Blam Blam*
I really like the whole post war Babylon project idea. I think you just gave me the idea for the sequel to this fic.