So, I'm bored and spinning my wheels a bit. I'm working on a sci-fi original veeeery slow. I have like 30 pages of the most ridiculous sequence in the Open Door written down (well, the truly ridiculous parts have yet to be written, but I already have a certain jingoistic robot involved). Anyway, over a year and a half ago the reading of three fanfics crystallized into something very bizarre in my mind and thus from Children of an Elder God, Once More with Feeling, and Shinji and Warhammer 40k was Thousand Shinji born. I mentioned these way back then, so if this has even the slightest chance of ballooning like TS did, I feel that blame... err... credit... no, no, actually let's go with blame... should be given where its due.
Fault for what is about to come can thus be assigned to these fuckers right here. Right here.CarrotglaceS'TarKanNugar
(Sub-blame can also be assigned to the projectionist of my anime club for pointing out the works of one and the specific work of another)
If you know of these authors, you will possibly be able to guess what is to come by the commonality between them (aside from raw awesome). If you choose to close down your browser in disgust, I will not blame you as frankly I prefer their work to the source material. To the uninitiated, I may have shot myself in the head with this first chapter just to ease the transition in that I have attempted at times to obscure the origins of the universes being crossed to avoid some of the stigma caused by the sheer number of highly vocal retards and idiots attached to the fandom. If you have no idea of what I speak, then perhaps you will find this enjoyable simply on its own merits (that or very confusing). If you enjoy the source material (which honestly isn't terrible in of its own right) then you should hopefully understand that I hang my head in shame more over the hooting masses attached to the series than the actual series itself.
Of course, there is another universe involved in this crossover, and while looking back at everything I have just written I could easily apply those words to either series, I will admit to vastly and unashamedly enjoying one series over the other. Of course, in following with the obfuscation of the first chapter I have made the second part of this mixing even harder to figure out if you don't know the lore of the series involved. I'm going for the slow, dawning 'Oh crap' sort of feel for this one. It has also produced a somewhat disjointed work. Ah well, its a work in progress as I am much more comfortable with one universe over the other.
Anyway, on with the show. Please save all plant products, be they vegetative or floral, for the end.
The village burned. The devastation was incredible even from a distance as the common folk fled into the forests to avoid the destruction caused by the attack while the shinobi attempted to repulse the monstrosity destroying their homes. For simple farmers and shop keepers, it was like being caught in a war between the gods as the very air broke down beneath the assault and counter-assault of techniques and powers normal people had no explanation for aside from ‘magic’.
For Hiroshi and Yuuka Kuromori their only concern had been to escape the conflict right up until a few seconds ago when their priority of staying alive caused a slight shift in how to achieve that common goal. Thus, now instead of running they were frozen in their tracks staring down the length of a rather sharp looking sword carried by a very strange looking woman.
If she was a woman. She wore strange armour that concealed most of her body, including her face, while still showing off enough hints of femininity that one considered her female when looking at her. However, there was something else aside from just the armour that made her look strange. Her proportions had an air of strangeness, a litheness that seemed unnatural and uncomfortable to examine in close detail. Not that the Kuromoris paid much attention to anything but the sword pointed at them or the lines of red blood steadily spreading out from a wound in the near side of the woman’s armour. She had something hidden in her left hand behind her body.
Then of course there was the strange language she was screeching at them with, neither one understanding a thing she said. She seemed to switch between several different languages in an attempt to communicate, desperation steadily growing in her voice as her blood drained away. Finally she pointed her sword directly at Yuuka and twitched her head, gesturing for her to advance. When Yuuka hesitated the woman sliced a tree with her sword, the motion little more than a flicker that left a decades-old hardwood crashing to the ground.
Crying out in fear, Yuuka started to approach with her husband but the strange woman just hissed in anger and pointed her sword at Hiroshi threateningly. Apparently she only wanted Yuuka close. Nodding, Hiroshi backed off, his stomach doing somersaults in fear as his wife approached the terrifying figure.
When Yuuka within arms reach of the woman, the strange being turned and revealed what she had hiding behind her. A small bundle of formerly white cloth now soaked with blood was carefully cradled in her left hand and along the crook of her arm. She practically thrust the bundle into Yuuka’s arms and then glared at her behind her impenetrable mask before all the strength seemed to rush out of her.
Duty done, the woman’s knees collapsed and she keeled over, landing face first on the forest floor. Now visible her back had been completely shredded by some unknown and possibly unknowable weapon. How she had stood so firm in front of them for so long was a mystery, but it was obvious that she had held on to life as long as she could to deliver her package.
Holding the bundle in her arms, Yuuka could feel it squirm a bit. Already suspecting, she unwound some of the bloodied cloth to reveal the face of a newborn beneath, perhaps only a few days old. The child’s eyes were closed, but even looking at the babe Yuuka could already tell that there was something otherworldly about the child. The features were off, slightly distorted from what was normal, slightly sharper and lither in ways that were unsettling on an unconscious level.
Still, the message of the armoured woman was clear. This was her child and she was dying, so she needed someone, anyone, to take care of her baby. Yuuka looked at Hiroshi and he nodded. They had tried for years unsuccessfully to conceive. Perhaps that fact had drawn the dying woman to them, or perhaps it was just good fortune.
Further unwrapping the bloody cloth about child’s head face a bit more, both gasped out when they uncovered a truly strange feature, definitely the least human so far. They glanced over at the mother of the babe, and Hiroshi went over to her fallen body. He went to remove the full face helmet, but his fingers stopped short. Did he really want to know? Finally he just shook his head and said, “Whatever this fey creature is, we will leave her be.”
In the distance a spirit howled as it was sealed away, reminding the two of what had forced them into the forest in the first place. They ran, now with a third member to their party.
The next day after returning to the ruins of the village Hiroshi took a shovel out into the woods. He was not the only man to do so, as many needed burying. He was perhaps one of the few to bury a stranger though.
Years passed, the peculiar family living on the edge of the village keeping mostly to their own to hide the peculiarities of their adopted daughter from the cruelties of others. Giving her the name Yukiko, they raised her as their own despite the fact that she was a distant, aloof child. The connections between adoptive parent and child were tenuous and almost ethereal at times, but on occasion the storm clouds about her heart would break to reveal true rays of sunshine to them.
Not to anyone else though. Not encouraged to socialize with others due to the uncomfortable questions they could ask, she did not seek out such attention, floating above the concerns of other children. If not for her parents she probably would have wandered out into the forests and disappeared long ago.
It wasn’t that she was cold, precisely; it was that she had little time for others. She barely tolerated introductions, and the reactions of most to her caused her to simply refuse to communicate with them further. If she was cold, then it was the cold of a wind that preceded a thunderstorm. So she spent her free time alone, wandering out in the forests that surrounded and hid the village, chasing the ghosts of dreams.
Strangely, despite her refusal to associate with others, her dreams were filled with cheers of approval. She wandered into the depths of the woods, imagining the natural sounds and echoes as the roars of tens of thousands of throats hailed her. She could not explain where these dreams came from or what they meant, but she spent her days and nights trapped within them, not truly understanding them.
Dancing about between the shadows and light cast by the sun high overhead filtering through the trees, Yukiko twirled about, her feet ever sure and light by nature. The hood she used to hide her face from the world slipped down as she followed the unheard chanting of a name that was not hers and yet was in a way that Yukiko was not.
Her instinctive dance coming to a stop in a patch of sunlight, she threw up her hands to the sky in victory, a breeze rustling the leaves sounding like the applause of a crowd beyond imagination in number or character.
Yukiko’s daydream however was interrupted by actual
applause. Twirling about in anger she saw a young boy of about her age clapping excitedly. He then cried out, “That was awesome!”
Her face hardening into cold fury, Yukiko pulled her hood back up and turned her back on the boy, set to storm away when he ran up to her and asked, “Hey! Why are you so angry?”
“I have little patience for fools,” Yukiko spat.
“Awww… come on, I’m not stupid,” the boy pouted in a most idiotic manner.
“I said ‘fool’, not ‘idiot’, although I have even less patience for them and you are clearly both,” Yukiko replied icily.
Frowning at her, the boy then got all indignant and puffed out his chest. “Oh, so you’re like everyone else? Calling me an idiot or a dumbass or a fool? Well I’ll show you just like I’ll show everyone else! I’ll become the greatest ninja the world has ever seen! Then we’ll see who the fool is!”
Yukiko just rolled her eyes and tried to sidestep the boy, but she found to her surprise that he at least matched her agility. Somehow this disturbed her on a fundamental, instinctive level. She glared at him and asked, “How did you do that?”
The boy looked confused for a moment before he struck up a pose and said, “When you’re destined to become a great ninja like me, all things come easy!” He then burst out laughing.
Yukiko just sort of stared at him for a time before she started to giggle. This boy was sure born to be a clown and the only thing one could do in response to a clown was to either laugh or cry in fear, and she was not particularly intimidated by him.
“Hey! What are you laughing at? I will be great! You’ll see and you’ll be sorry!” The boy exclaimed.
“You painted clown, you are only good for the entertainment of others!” Yukiko told him before moving off again.
Touching his cheeks, the boy then hissed like a boiling kettle and cried out, “It’s not paint! You’re just like everyone else!”
Rounding back on him, Yukiko growled, “I am nothing like the common crowd! They are scum! You are scum! You and those like you cannot see greatness standing before them!”
“Great? All I see is a stuck up girl who isn’t even a ninja wandering about in the woods!” The boy shouted out.
“And all I see is a loudmouthed fool! Let me show you greatness!” Yukiko cried out before dropping her hood once more and then she went for the band of cloth about her head. Normally she loathed the look in the face of others when they saw her like this, but right now wanted to see that boy’s face twisted up in disgust and fear.
She removed the band about her forehead and let him look at her face in full. His eyes went wide for a moment, but then instead of disgust a look of sadness crossed his eyes and he slumped over dejectedly. Then he said something that hit Yukiko almost like a physical blow.
Her eyes bugging out, Yukiko sputtered out, “Wha… what did you just say?”
“I’m sorry,” the boy replied. “You probably get made fun of a lot by stupid people. They make fun of me and I don’t like it. So I’m sorry if you thought I was making fun of you.”
Nothing like this had ever really happened to Yukiko before. She tried to think of some response and she just ended up saying a lame, “You do act like a fool.”
His glare was ferocious enough to make her back up a step and he cried out, literally as tears were streaming down his face, “I do not
! Everyone just points to be and says, ‘Look at the orphan! No one wants him! Go away!’ Well I’ll show them!”
Now it was like Yukiko had been stabbed in the gut. Her whole body seemed to deflate and now it was her turn to hang her head and say, “I’m sorry.”
The boy seemed a little shocked, but not as much as she had been before. He then asked, “You’re really sorry?”
Yukiko nodded as if her head were made from lead and her neck from rubber, but she said, “Yeah… I… I’m adopted and I look like this and…”
She felt anger like the heart of a volcano well up inside her. Her parents had long ago explained that she was adopted as her mother had died during some sort of disaster and they had taken her in. They were tight lipped about what had actually happened, saying they would explain more when she was ready, although at times she felt that they didn’t know much more either. There were days when she felt like she had been abandoned by her true parents, that they didn’t really want her.
“Oh,” the boy said before he grinned and gave her a thumbs-up. “Well I
think you look cool.”
Yukiko smiled at that. Even her own parents had never really complimented her like that. She then said, “I’m Yukiko Kuromori.”
“Naruto Uzumaki of course!” the boy replied cheerfully.
“You never actually told me before,” Yukiko pointed out.
Naruto’s brow furrowed in confusion for a moment before he shrugged and said, “Well one day everyone’s going to cheer my name! Friends?”
Yukiko nodded and said, “I still think you’re a clown… but maybe you’re not so stupid. Friends.”
Naruto cheered and ran in a little circle as a tiny victory lap before he said, “Awesome! Come on, let’s go do friend stuff!”
“Which would be?” Yukiko asked.
Naruto shrugged and said, “I don’t know, I’ve never had a friend before. Let’s find out!”
Thus began a rather strange relationship as Naruto and Yukiko would meet up in the forests outside the village when they could and they would just sort of walk around and talk about things, often times Naruto telling Yukiko about his dreams or what he had learned in the academy. They would also often share their disgust with other people and Naruto would brag about the latest juvenile prank he had pulled that day.
For two weeks this went on, with Yukiko listening patiently and slowly forcing Naruto to slow down a bit while around her while Naruto got her to try out some of the ‘super cool ninja moves’ he had learned at the academy before Yukiko made up her mind about things. After a session of ‘friend stuff’ with Naruto she went home and found her parents at the kitchen table preparing dinner. Lowering her hood, she looked at them and said, “I wish to join the ninja academy.”
Her parents both looked at each other with a worried look on their faces before Hiroshi nodded and left the room while Yuuka sat down in a nearby chair and said, “Come here Yukiko. We were wondering if this day would come.”
“This is about my parents… my biological parents,” Yukiko stated more than asked. She had almost said ‘real parents’ but she had long ago come to terms with the fact that her real parents were the ones who had raised her.
Her mother nodded and said, tears start to glitter at the edges of her eyes, “Yes. We never knew her and she never knew us, but she loved you very much. She was dying when she found us, and the only thing on her mind was getting you to safety. We’ll never know if she intended for us to have you or if we were merely the closest people she could find, but I think it was the latter.”
“How did she die?” Yukiko asked, a question she had asked many times before, but this was the first time she actually expected an answer.
Returning from the attic with a long object wrapped in a bundle of canvas cloth, her father replied, “She died of wounds sustained in battle. She was a warrior of some sort, and this was her blade.”
Gently placing the bundle on the table, Hiroshi opened it to reveal a long, thin slashing blade of dull metal. The hilt and pommel were made of some strange, glossy black substance. The weapon seemed like a coiled snake, ready to leap out and bite the incautious. Yukiko reached out to touch it but her father just shook his head and said, “I don’t know what it’s made of, but you could slice off a finger just with a careless brush against the blade. Look at the canvas.”
Recoiling slightly, Yukiko took a look and found that the wrappings for the blade had been cut to ribbons where contact with the edge had been. She then looked up at her father and asked, “Why show me then?”
Her father frowned and said, “Because it is yours. If you truly wish to train at the academy, then one day you will know how to handle such a blade, as your mother did.”
Yukiko was quiet for a time before she nodded thoughtfully. Outside she was calm, but inside she was boiling over. One day she would be a ninja, and on that day she would have earned the right to that sword, something that was hers by birthright. She would have it.
Somewhere in the back of her mind the cheering became louder and more discordant.
The next day she and her parents went into the village to the ninja academy where dozens of children and adolescents practiced a wide variety of martial arts out on training grounds or studied the theories in large, lecture style classrooms. Yukiko kept quiet, uninterested in the people, but her eyes darted about with interest at the various weapons and techniques on display.
They then met with one of the instructors and discussed what it would take for Yukiko to enter into the academy, and they discovered that surprisingly little was required to actually join, it was staying in that was tough. Most students had families who were also ninja who could support the students in their difficult studies.
Yukiko just shook her head at the teacher. She would do this, and nothing would stand in her way now that she had made up her mind to walk this path. The instructor shrugged and said she could start attending tomorrow once all the paperwork had been completed.
The next day she was shown to a classroom with other students of her age. A certain spiky haired blonde was amongst them and immediately shouted out, “Hey Yukiko! What are you doing here?”
Yukiko knew she would have to smack him for that later, but for now she just have to glare at him and everyone else sending suspicious glances her way. Once the teacher had finished introducing her she then said simply, “I am here to join you in your studies.”
Sitting down next to an excited Naruto, she just glanced at his excited puppy expression and shook her head before she settled down to start the lesson. Naruto seemed to rapidly calm down as he tried to focus, but Yukiko knew that he would not be able to pay attention for long and would probably soon fall asleep. She was also somewhat glad that the eccentricities of dress in the room meant that she doubted anyone would ever want to know what hid beneath her hood.
Her attention however was soon drawn from the instructor to the whispers of a pair of girls behind her. They probably thought Yukiko couldn’t hear her, but she had very sharp ears.
“Look at that bland, ugly girl sitting next to that loser Naruto. I bet she’s a freak just like he is,” one of them whispered.
“Look at that hood. I bet her hair is awful
and that’s why she hiding it,” the other said. Both then tittered quietly at their own perceived superiority.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Naruto’s ear twitch. He had heard them as well and she could see his ire rapidly rising. Was this the sort of thing he put up with every day? If so then despite his frequent outbursts he must have far more patience than she attributed to him to not have gone on a killing spree already. However, before he said something to embarrass her, she quietly hissed, “Don’t say anything about my hair.”
He looked at her confused for a second before slumping over, doodling when he should have been paying attention to the lecture. Yukiko just rolled her eyes and tried to pay attention as well, but soon she felt the enthusiasm drain out of her as well. A lot of the theory was extremely dry and seemed almost beneath her.
The only bright moment that day though was when they started in on the physical training. Despite it only being her first day Yukiko excelled at those sorts of lessons, and she knew that if Naruto would just pay attention he would do much better than he did as well. A part of her also felt incredibly smug and self-satisfied to have out performed one of the girls who had been talking behind her back.
Finally the day ended and Yukiko motioned for Naruto to follow her. Excitedly bouncing alongside her, he said, “Oh man, now that you’re here this is going to be so great!”
Yukiko nodded coolly before she said, “Yes, but we still have a problem. Neither one of us is well respected. I also suspect when the full story of my family comes out things will grow worse. We must take steps to stop this now
“How?” Naruto asked curiously.
“Follow me into the woods,” Yukiko replied, a wicked grin spreading over her face as an idea formed.
Ever since she had taken to wandering the woods alone, her mother had started explaining to her the identities and uses of a variety of the things that grew there so that she would not hurt herself by ingesting something she shouldn’t. The ninjas knew much of the forest species for their uses as medicines or poisons, but the farmers and wood cutters knew some more mundane uses.
She and Naruto spent the rest of the afternoon and the early evening gathering what Yukiko would need. Well, mostly Naruto went running around the woods like an idiot and bringing back every bit of fungus or funny looking plant he could find and Yukiko rejected the majority of them as useless. That day they only found about half the ingredients they needed, but it was a good start.
The next day Yukiko asked Naruto to loudly talk to the girls who were their target during lunch, allowing her to carefully observe them without being noticed as everyone was looking in that direction. She had to admit that well used his attention getting style could be just as effective as stealth so long as someone else was around to take advantage of the distraction. She highly doubted it was intentional on his part though.
For a week they went out into the woods to gather what they needed, Naruto slowly getting the hang of what he was supposed to be doing, although Yukiko got the feeling it would take months of concerted effort on her part to get him to just concentrate on this one thing, let alone make attentive focus on tasks a life skill and habit.
A good week into the program they suffered their first set back when Yukiko tried to combine everything together only to end up with a complete mess. While she sat over the useless, frothing mass Naruto looked up at her and asked, “What were you trying to do?”
Hissing angrily at him, Yukiko said, “I was trying to make something my… mother… taught me…”
She trailed off into thought until Naruto waved a hand in front of her blank face at which point she snapped out of it and said, “Of course!”
That night she brought everything she had collected in to the house and plunked them down on the kitchen table and said, “Mom, could you help me out with a project for school?”
The next several days were spent practicing a peculiar skill, one that culminated in her father discovering somewhat painfully that he had put a little too much wasabi on his diner, something his wife chided him on as he gulped down as much water as he could while Yukiko giggled a little guiltily.
The next day and everything was ready. It had been about two weeks since Yukiko had joined the academy and a month since she had met Naruto, so she felt she had enough handle on him to say, “Remember, don’t say it was you or me, and don’t be the first to start laughing.”
Giving a big thumbs-up, Naruto said enthusiastically, “Gotcha!”
Shaking her head and thinking that he was probably going to give them away, Yukiko figured even if they got caught that it would be worth it. Besides, they were just practicing their core ninja skill set with this little prank.
Yukiko spent nearly the entire morning practically vibrating in her seat with anticipation, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Finally though lunch arrived and Yukiko had to use her entire will to keep from grinning like the cat that caught the canary. Reaching into her pocket, she discretely pulled out two little objects that looked remarkably like clumps of sticky white rice.
With the utmost patience and care she quietly flicked a bundle into each of the lunch boxes of her targets. She then watched carefully out of the corner of her eye as the two ate up everything, her face finally splitting into a grin for a brief moment. Revenge was hers, and now all that was left was the inevitable fall out.
It started about an hour later when one of the girls was idly running a hand through her hair, only to pause in horror, her hand suspended next to her head in shock. She slowly turned to her friend next to her and started sputtering. Her friend looked her way and her eyes went wide.
Hanging loosely from her fingers was a mass of pink strands of hair. It only took the look on Ino’s face for Sakura to completely lose it and start freaking out, shrieking out in horror as she grasped at her hair to make sure it was there, only to accelerate the rate at which it fell out. Ino touched her own hair to make sure it was alright, only to discover that she too had ingested the same hair killing toxin.
Chaos spread fairly quickly as the two of them shrieked and cried as their long hair started to fall out at the roots. For his part Naruto held out for quite some time before he finally burst out laughing, which for once everyone seemed to agree with. This triggered a second round of freaking out as the two girls attempted to escape the humiliating laughter of the classroom while the instructor tried to regain control.
Yukiko’s laughter was the last to die down fully as a cruel smile crossed her face. Stupid grooming monkey bitches. That would teach them to insult her when they thought she couldn’t hear them!
Yukiko then paused for a moment and had to restrain the urge to smack herself for her own idiocy. The only way they would know it was revenge would be if they knew it was her, which implied getting caught. Oh well, she would have to just wait for the next time they insulted her and then do something less spectacular to drive home the lesson while avoiding major disciplinary action.
After school Naruto approached her and said, “That was pretty funny, but don’t you think it was a little mean?”
Yukiko replied, “If it wasn’t then it wouldn’t have been revenge. Besides, their hair will start to grow back in a few weeks. No harm done.”
“Think they’ll get wigs?” Naruto asked cheekily.
Yukiko paused and then said, “If they do we’ll just have to replace them with something embarrassing next time they irritate us.”
“Used mop heads?” Naruto suggested.
“What’s this? Naruto Uzumaki planning ahead? And I thought this day couldn’t get any better…” Yukiko mused.
Years passed, people learned and changed, and Yukiko and Naruto both discovered that they had a rather large obstacle in achieving their goals. They were both terrible at chakra manipulation. Terrible
. Even worse for Yukiko, Naruto’s issues seemed to stem from the fact that he was an idiot while hers originated from the fact that she could barely produce chakra and she had almost no capacity to mould what she did produce.
“This day couldn’t get any worse,” Yukiko muttered as she dragged her exhausted body away from the academy. Last year she had managed to talk Naruto out of attempting the genin exam as he clearly had no idea what he was doing, but this year he had managed to needle and con her into taking it with him. Both of them had failed miserably, she worse than him at everything but the taijutsu examinations, where both had actually passed.
Naruto would be off pouting somewhere, which was how Yukiko wanted it. Right now after suffering through the embarrassment of not getting a single chakra related test right while simultaneously exhausting her body with the exertion of the attempt all she wanted to do was to find a nice tree to curl up beneath and take a nap.
Wandering into the forest near her house, she slumped over next to a favourite tree. It was about as old as she was and was now really starting to fill out to provide enough shade to nap under during a sunny day. Settling her weary body down, she lounged out and relaxed, her eyes flickering shut.…blades flashed out, faster than the human eye could follow…
…sprays of arterial blood from severed limbs and necks…
…the stars alight with fire and violence…
…the triumphal shouts of ten thousand voices…
Yukiko’s eyes snapped open and then she scrambled up to her feet. Staring at the tree, she then let her eyes wander down to the ground at the base of the tree. Dropping back to her knees, she began to tear at the dirt with her hands, digging a hole in the soil with crazed need.
Finally, after hours of going at it with hands and knives, her broken and bloody fingers scratched over something hard and smooth. Scrambling further in the hole she had carved in the earth, she uncovered a mask made of a smooth, hard substance that appeared unaffected by its time in the soil. Scraping even further away she revealed a blank, near featureless mask that connected to a full helmet.
All the strength drained from her body. She knew, somehow she knew, what this was. This was her mother’s grave. This was where Hiroshi had buried her all those years ago. Hacking frantically at the soil Yukiko desperately moved to extricate her body from the ground, pulling and tugging on the armour encased corpse.
Along the breastplate of the armour there was a large, oval shaped gemstone like a blood red ruby that seemed to almost burn with its own inner light. Yukiko reached out to tug on the stone as a handhold, only for two things to happen. The first was that the gem popped out of the armour like it wasn’t even attached. The second was that the gem started to speak.
Sort of. The voice seemed to originate inside Yukiko’s head rather than outside it, yet she could still somehow tell that the ultimate source was the gem. What the voice however said was more shocking than how it said it.
“Ah, daughter, so good of you to wake me
Alright, after all that self-depreciation I think I deserve a little psychotic laughter for dreaming this one up. Mwahahaha...